Mark P.O.V.
It probably shouldn't have hurt that much. I mean, I heard things like all the time. I've been told at times that I'm annoying and a little clingy, so why did that bother me so much?
Maybe because it came from him.
And those words that left his lips made me cave in.
The entire day just turned sour for me. I probably should've just pushed away those words, yet they were haunting; I couldn't stop hearing them playing over and over in my mind. Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't hop into my car and leave the school entirely. But, I knew I had to stay, even if on the inside I was screaming "JUST GO ALREADY!"
I made sure not to make contact with him all day, which was a dick move within itself. Maybe I should've talked to him, or at least told him he wasn't perfect either. Yet for some reason, I didn't. I merely avoided any contact with Sean because I figured I'd just make it worse. He seemed pretty fired up when he blew up at me and making him even angrier wasn't something I wanted to do. Well, that and the fact I didn't want to start crying like I did in the library.
The day slowly and painfully came to a close, but I still had to drag myself to track practice. Even after that, I still wasn't going to be free from this whole ordeal because we had made plans to work on the project once I was finished; I was supposed to take him home so we could figure out what the hell we were writing.
Honestly, I wanted to turn on my heels and run out as soon as I exited the locker room. My stomach felt insanely heavy once I entered the gymnasium and saw him sitting on the bleachers with his earbuds in. It physically hurt to see Sean after he uttered those words to me, and when we made eye contact for a brief second, he quickly turned away. Did he see the pain in my eyes? Or did he regret saying those words? I didn't necessarily care as I turned my face to the ground and joined the rest of the track team for laps.
We finished early that day because Coach wasn't present. It was only 4:30 at that point and Sean was still sitting on the plastic bleachers, listening to something on his phone. By then, my head cleared its thoughts of sadness and filled them with annoyance and slight anger. 'So what if he doesn't like me? Why the hell should I care about he thinks? It's not like he's any better!' There were many times when my emotions would switch from one extreme to the next and I hated when they did that. Not only that, but every 'what-if" thought just fueled how pissed off I felt.
It was a quick shower and change before I walked over to where the green-haired boy sat. I had no real reason to feel that way toward him but when he looked up at me, the grip on my track bag strap tightened. He didn't really even look at me, just in my general direction. "C'mon," my tone was low and slightly exposed my feelings of anger. "Let's get this over with."
He gave me a subtle nod as he picked up his things and followed me to the door. Everything flowed into a blur after that, even when we both entered my vehicle. It was just so silent that my mind just wanted to remove the moment completely; it was deemed to have no purpose to be kept as a memory.
Once I began driving, the thin silence turned into a feeling of suffocation. The atmosphere between Sean and I felt extremely heavy and hard to breath in, but I kept my focus on the road ahead. From the corner of my eye, I could see him playing with his thumbs like he was nervous and I couldn't understand why. Why was he nervous? He seemed so dominating and fierce earlier, but it just faded away. Everything about him was different from when he told me off. Still, I didn't buy anything. I felt as if he was just trying to play with my emotions and make me feel bad in order to forgive him. I wasn't going to give in to anything. It's what he deserved.
"Hey, Fischbach....." he said softly as he stared out the window. I took a glance over to him and made a small grunt, telling him to continue. I didn't actually want to talk to him, nor hear what he had to say, but I still let him anyway. "Uh....about earlier....I just....I just wanna say I'm so-"
"Save it," I interrupted harshly. I didn't want his apology. He was the one who said those things, and I knew he meant it. Just the fact that he wanted to apologize made me feel as if he felt bad for me, and I never wanted his sympathy. Sean sunk into his seat after that, which made that suffocating silence return around us again until I pulled into the driveway.
He was very hesitant to enter my house and I was very close to just leaving him at the front door. Still, he was my partner for a project that had to get done, so I beckoned him inside and up to my bedroom. Each step I took up the staircase felt insanely heavy and the suffocating atmosphere we had in the vehicle never left us. I took a few deep breaths before entering my bedroom along with Sean about a yard behind me.
I threw down my backpack and track bag next to my mattress, then sat down with a loud huff, and still, Sean kept his distance from me. He stood in the middle of the room, his eyes never leaving the bland-colored carpet that coated the floor. I got up from my bed and walked up to him. "Well, are we gonna start, or what?"
His entire body seemed to tremble before me. After a few minutes went by, he shook his head, making his green hair flop about. "No..." he whispered. "No, I can't do this...!" He then turned around and quickly left my room, but I wasn't going to let him leave that easily.
"Hey, wait a minute!" I followed after him into the hall and grabbed his small arm. "Get your ass back here, we've got work to do!"
Sean shoved me away from him, making me let go of his arm. "No, I can't!" He lifted up his face, and I could finally see the tears sliding down his face. "I can't do this! You're angry at me, and you have every right to be! But you...you won't even let me apologize to you! I wanna fix this, damn it!" his voice was loud and filled to the brim with sorrow, yet in an instant, it changed. He turned his body around quickly, but I could see the way his eyes narrowed in frustration as he wiped down his face with his hoodie sleeve.
"Ya know, I envy you, Fischbach," the tone he used was angry yet melancholy. "You have everything that I've dreamed of having: a loving family, lots of friends, a smart mind. You're somebody; you've got a perfect life," he sniffled a little. "My very existence next to yours seems pitiful." Those ocean blue eyes of his glanced back at me. "Thank your lucky stars you have something..." when his feet started to move toward the stairs, that's when I could no longer hold back my thoughts.
I broke.
"You don't get it!" I stepped forward with my fists clenched at my sides. "You honestly do not know what my life is like! My family is broken, some of my relatives don't even talk to me; my friends are few, and I'm the dumbest piece of shit out there!" At that point, the tears started to roll down my cheeks. I couldn't help it. Everything that I held back for so long was now pouring from my lips. "I'm not accepted by many people, and I am called a freak day in and day out," I wiped my eyes. "So don't go saying that my life is perfect. Frankly, I'd rather have yours any day because, in this life, I am nothing! Nothing, but a disgusting excuse of a human being!" I dropped to the floor and curled up, my head rested on my knees as I sobbed. "Nothing, but a freak..." I whispered.
As much as I wanted to stop crying and man up, I couldn't. I was just so broken. My body shook as I wept, but I could do nothing to stop it. I felt weak.
That's when I heard him sigh.
That's when I heard his feet move on the squeaky wooden boards in that hallway.
I figured after that, he'd just leave. There was no longer a point to having him stay while I broke down in my home. So, I waited for his footsteps to move down the stairs. I waited for the sound of the front door slamming shut. I waited for him to leave me completely.
But, that never happened.
Instead, two arms wrapped around me and held me close to something warm.
Sean was hugging me.
I didn't know what to do after that. He did something I never thought he'd do. After a few moments of silence, he took a deep breath then spoke. "I'm sorry....okay? I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't just....assume what your life is like, especially call it perfect," he shifted his body slightly, raising his head from my shoulder. "But, it's still a good life." He reached out to me and cupped my cheek gently with his hand. Slowly, he lifted my head so that my eyes would meet his. "It might be hard, and things might not be what you wanted, but it's still beautiful. And you, of all people, should know that because you have lived through so much and stayed strong," I felt his thumb gently move across my cheek to wipe away a stray tear. "You are something; you are way more than you've deemed yourself to be."
After that, I didn't know what to say. Minutes prior, we were angry, yelling at each other because of something stupid. Then, Sean comforted me and told me how strong I was for just living. How does a person respond to that? How does someone just turn around their emotions to forgive and forget?
How did he keep playing with my heart?
He stood up, letting his surprisingly soft hand fall from my cheek. With a small nod, he turned back towards the staircase and began to walk down it. I just sat there and stared at him walking away. But, before he left my sight, he looked over at me with a small grin. "See ya tomorrow, Mark...." and with that, he was gone.
And in that moment, I realized....
....that was the first time he ever called me by my first name.
A/N: Heya, people! It me! I know I was gone for awhile, but I had a few reasons to be:
1. School was being stressful
2. I got sick for a bit
3. My internet was out for 5 days
4. I lost myself
Now, I can honestly say I wanted to give up on this writing and many of my Septiplier stories because I was no longer wanting to continue them and the entire fandom was being attacked. I get that extremists who deem the ship to be true should understand it will never exist and they should calm their tits, but extreme haters of the ship were even being rude to people who just like shipping it for shits and giggles.
I do love this ship, but I know not to take it too far.
I got scared and I'm sorry.
No worries, though. I'm still going to continue this and the others I have created. I hope you don't mind.
But, what do you think of this chapter? What will happen next? You'll see sooner than you think.
See ya soon!
-Jepsyca