Authors Note
Hey guys this chapter is very different from the rest
I'm trying something new tell me what you think.
xxx
Love you guys
Hannah P.O.V
One day when you wake up and realize that you aren't the person you want to be I hope you have common sense than I did on this fateful night. A night that would change everything and once again I would causing the people I love more harm than good.
20th September 2013
The thing about college is that no one ever tells you how hard it is actually going to be. Nobody tells you how similar to high school it is. I could get used to the work load that was the easy part. The hard part was trying to fit in and realizing you just don't. Never in my life have I felt like an outcast and lately I have been getting sick of it.
It started with jokes around jocks. They didn't matter to me I didn't care at first. Most of those guys hated me for being gay anyway so it didn't bother me when they called me a prude or a rich girl or anything really too get to me. Then came their girlfriends and the girls that wish they were there girlfriends .That's when I started hearing the words dyke and fag.
I didn't tell anybody. How could I really? Do I tell my 22 year old working girlfriend that the kids are being mean to me? No way. Do I tell Kim that without her here I feel like a chump? Not in this lifetime.
I wanted to be perceived as somewhat of role model. Or at least have then admire my achievements. I have worked my ass off to get here and I was damned if a few kids were going to ruin it for me.
I tried not to let it faze me for weeks but getting ass grabbed and feeling like you are some sort of alien is not a way to go through a day.
I was a second year student now but things weren't getting better. Back home I never experienced this type of abuse. Whether it was to my face or behind my back I just wanted it to stop. I wanted them to stop.
Kim had been making tons of friends and being the bubbly person that she is she easily fit in. I was never the social butterfly and I was never going to involve my parents in this. Even though mommy and daddy could have easily done that for me. I hated seeing parents fight their kids battles and I wasn't about to become one of those kids. I didn't have what Kim had. She just didn't care what people said.
I needed to do something. Something big to get everyone to see that I'm not some little kid that can't take a stand. I can stand up for myself if I wanted to.
I could show him I'm not someone he should mess with.
So that was the reason I was here right now. Standing behind a wall hiding. This was why I was sneaking around the courtyard of our school trying to pass by cameras praying to god not to get caught and trying my best to summon all the courage I had.
I was running so fast my legs were on fire me but all I could see was that smug son of a bitches face smirking at me like he owned me. I was going to wiped off that stupid smile and hopefully replace it with the look of someone who just peed themselves. Finally I had made it inside of the medical building my whole body shaking. It was easier given the fact that the teacher regularly gave me keys to the building.
Hannah Miller would never break into a building.
Walking around all of the species of animals and all different organs I see what I am looking for grinning from cheek to cheek. I take it out and put it under my jersey praying that I don't drop this thing. I had no idea if I was going to get this done because frankly this wasn't even the hard part.
Once I got out of the building I checked for guards and started walking as fast as I could seeing as it was impossible to run anymore. I made it into the student hall where we had our class rooms . I found the door unlocked and went over to his seat. The boy that started all of this. The boy that made going to class a living nightmare.
Brandon Nillik football player.
He deserved this I knew that. The only thing that got me through this was replaying all of the awful things he had ever done to me over and over again. After that it was easy.
Opening the jar slowly I flip the jar over until all the liquid has run out and all that left is this beautiful specimen. I bet he is going to love this. This is the only thing that will send a clear message to this silly little boy that he should never has messed with my life.
BEEP BEEP!!
Having a minor heart attack I yank the phone out of my pocket and answer it quickly.
"Yes?"I whisper kneeling down on the floor feeling the slimy liquid touch my knees and holding my mouth trying my best not to gag.
"Hey sweetheart I was just confirming our plans for later. I get off at nine. Are you okay you sound a little off "I hear her voice and for a moment I forget where the hell I am and what the hell I am doing.
"Yes I can't wait to see you . I will talk to you later I am just in the shower right now."I say shutting off the phone and putting it on silent. Something I should have done a while ago.
I tear off a piece of paper and write a message on it and leave it for Mr. Nillik to find in the morning. Right now I just needed to worry about getting the hell out of here. After that some celebrating on my mini mission impossible made possible.
...
"I'm sorry I'm a bit late I was just finishing with dinner."I say to my beautiful red head girlfriend
"It's okay as long as it tastes good otherwise the excuse is not valid."
"Well if I keep slaving away in the kitchen you should start paying me for my services. It takes a lot out of me you know."I remark dramatically
"Well I will to think of some ways to repay you. It might take a while though and carrying on to the late hours of the night. Oh but you're tired right?"She says grinning at me
I knew she was playing me but she won every time at this little cat and mouse game.
"I'm not really...that tired."I say hearing her chuckle and kiss my cheek softly.
"You know if this whole medical thing doesn't work out you might want to think about cooking as your next career path."
She smiled lovingly at me and I wanted to shake it off but something about not being able to finish my medical degree hit a chord. That is probably something that happens when you just did something illegal. Something that could end it all. Then I didn't feel at all like tom cruise and honestly I didn't feel dangerous anymore. I felt like an idiot.
"Babe I was just kidding."She says looking at me trying to figure out what was wrong."I mean I wasn't kidding about the fact that you are an amazing cook I was just kidding about you not finishing med school."
"No its fine..I just had a hard test today. I'm not feeling very positive about it."
"I'm sure you did good and if you didn't you can just make it up in the next test. Besides if you struggle I am here to help anytime. "
"You really are great you know that."I whisper kissing her lips softly tasting strawberries.
"I know I'm the bomb but..I'm also starving so..."She says jumping out of the car and running to my door.
Laughing at her silliness I walk to the door and find her dancing around the room cascading the aroumas to her nose.
Then something unexpected came into my mind. Something I didn't expect to feel or think about. ONe thought that would stay there each time I looked at her.
I might love this girl.
...
"Is this a fucking joke!"His voice echoes through the halls and I smile to myself and walk into our class watching everyone laughing at him. Pay back is a bitch son.
"Class settle down!"
Our professor says pulling all of the kids attention to the front and Brandon Nilliks attention firmly on me he came running down towards me and at first I felt scared like never before he could probably chew me up and spit me out but then I had an idea I was going to channel my inner Kim.
"You fucking bitch you did this didn't you."He says through gritted teeth. His hands formed in tight fists
"Now Brandon whatever do you mean?" I say smiling kindly at the boy
"You put that donkeys dick on my table. I know it was you Miller!"He says barely two inches away from me and I just looked him straight in the eye and smiled. A knowing smile.
"My mom would kill me if I ever did such a thing."I say simply leaving him speechless and he then handed the hand written note my way. Glaring at me waiting for my reaction. I didn't need to see the note I knew what I had wrote.
I looked at the note with a smile. "For the ass of a man here is an asses dick try it on." My crafty letter read and I quickly did the smartest thing and tore it up. When I walked back to my seat most of the people were high fiving me and winking at me acknowledging what I had wanted in the first place. I had my freedom and that jack hole was going to feel a little revenge.
Or so I thought.
...
All through in the last couple of days we have all realized that this situation wasn't just going to end soon. They wanted someone to blame. They wanted to expel someone for this 'crime' and all fingers point to me. It didn't take a genius to know that I had the best motive. I was being bullied by him and I had keys as easy as that.
I couldn't tell Fae about what was going on seeing as how she works in the medical field and probably would think differently of me. I didn't want to bother Kim with my shit because although we have made up I wasn't prepared to tell her such a big secret. All I knew was that there was going to be a board meeting in three day with our entire class. Everyone will tell their side of what happened and I am guess Brandon is going to tell them about me. They are going to find out that I had the keys and I might get kicked out of UCLA.
My parents are going to kill me.
I didn't expect her to come. I was shocked when I hear the knock at my door. She was my the only call I was willing to make and probably the only one with a solution out of all of this.
"Han what the fuck were you doing?"She asks drenched from the rain shaking her head in dismay .
I let her inside grabbing a towel from the closet and toss it to her. She throws her drenched clothes on the floor and wraps herself with the towel still looking at me waiting for an answer.
"I should get you clothes.."I say trying my best to peel my eyes off of her wet body. Something that needed an audience I swear.
"I want an answer first Hannah Banana. What were you thinking doing something stupid like breaking in and stealing something?"
"I don't know. I was tired of them thinking that I was a goody too shoes and I was sick of Brandon looking at me like he was going to attack me."I laugh walking into my room taking a deep breath in trying to hold back tears. There was too many emotions for my tiny apartment right now.
Partly because she was here in my apartment half naked making my heart race in ways I could even control. Then there was the fact that I was with someone else and couldn't jump ontop of her and probably also the fact that she made it here and was the only person who knew what was going on. THe only one that I was willing to help me.
"Here I think these are still yours."I say handing her a white tank top and pajama bottoms.
"Thanks."
"Hannah you aren't a dumb girl why would you do this if you knew that you would likely be expelled? I doubt it is because you were called a goody too shoes."
"Also I was called a dyke and fag and cookie monster and anything really. He didn't mind touching my ass either and sometimes whispering vulgar things to me. I know it isn't like me and I would say I'm sorry but it doesn't help much. I'm going to get kicked out of UCLA and that's that."I sigh sinking into my couch
She didn't say anything at first she just sat down next to me and looked at me like I was a hurt puppy.
"Everything is going to be okay."She say and I look at her surprised. There was no way that this could be fixed. I knew that. I think I just called her because I wanted to feel safe. Like everything wasn't going to change.
"Beth be serious."
"Hannah just trust me. Everything is going to be okay. I'm going to make it all better like I promised."She says pulling me in and hugging me
"I can't believe you did something this bad ass and stupid very stupid."She say making me smile.
She thought I was bad ass.
"I'll just get your bed ready on the couch."I say as she walks out the door.
"It's fine I'm going to have a smoke anyway."
"Hey Beth."I call her back
"Yeah?"
"Does Kim know your here?"
"She thinks I'm out of town for work."She smiles closing the door behind her.
After I finish making Beth's Bed on the couch I put on my pajamas and lay down in my bed feeling very nervous. I hate thinking about what is going to happen tomorrow. I hate having this fucked up need inside me to ask Beth to sleep next to me. I won't ask that though.
"Hey are you asleep?"Her husky voice says and I turn on my side to see her at my door holding a mug.
"I figured you can't sleep and I remembered that drank hot chocolate to fall asleep."She says handing me the mug scooting my legs up and sits next to me on the bed.
"You didn't have to do that."
"I know I just wanted to. I knew you were in here probably worrying way too much."She smiles
"Can we talk?"I ask
She frowns slightly looking worried but nod anyway.
"Why are you still here? I don't mean in my room I mean like why do you still want to be here I guess."
"Partly because you can't survive without me I think we both know that."She jokes "And also mostly because I haven't found the off switch. I don't know that I want to."She says
"I don't know if I want you to either."
Why the hell did I say that. I have a girlfriend! Why don't I just tell her to get over me and forget about me yet here I am encouraging her not to get over me. I'm such a monster damn.
"I know you don't. I don't want to make a big deal out of this because frankly you are in a relationship and its cool have your fun Han but one day your head is going to catch up with your heart and I will be back home waiting for you. I know that sounds pathetic but its just the way I feel."Beth says standing up and walking towards the door.
"Beth."
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for being here."
"Don't worry about it. Have a good night Hannah Banana I'll see you tomorrow."She smiles and walks out the door feeling me pretty speechless.
The things she said was far from pathetic. I broke her heart so bad yet here she was. I couldn't even start to imagine that type of love. All I knew was that when Beth was around things were better. Things seemed easier.
...
When I woke that morning I quickly had a shower and got dressed when I walked into the living room I saw the couch made up and a note on the kitchen counter.
Everything is going to be okay
It said and I waited and waited for Beth to come back and before I knew it it was already 2 in the afternoon when I hear the door open.
"So you don't have to worry anymore I worked it out."She smiles winking at me
"Please tell me you didn't sleep with one of the commitee memebers."I ask jokingly
"Eww no. Let's just say that I worked it out and leave it there."
"Come on tell me what happened."
She shook her head and just as I was about to ask her why my phone started ringing.
"Hello?"
"Hello is this Miss Miller?"
"Yes who is this?"
"Miss Miller you will not be needed for today you the guilty party was found."
"What? Who-"I cut myself off and hung up the phone tossing it on the couch looking over at Beth who was pulling on her jacket smiling innocently at me
"Please don't tell me that you took the fall."I ask watching her grin and shrug at me
"Beth you can't do that. That's it I am going to go give myself up."I say
She grabs my hand and rolls her eyes how very Kim like "Han there is a big difference between losing your change at becoming a great doctor and me getting some community work and a criminal record. Besides I think having a criminal record makes me a little me desirable. " She smirks
"This is not funny."I say feeling guilt fill me
When I called her I never intended her to take the fall for something I had done. That was never my intention.
"You did something stupid Han. If I were to be punished for all the stupid things I had ever done in my life then I can't even imagine where Id' be. Let's just say you owe me one and leave it at that okay?"She says holding out her hand for me to shake
"Beth it's not that easy."
She doesn't say anything more but gesture to her hand and I drop my head and shake her hand. We smile at each other and then I feel her pull me into her and before I could realize what was happening her lips were against mine as she held my waist so tenderly. She let go and pulled and grabbing her purse.
I stood there with my fingers on my lips dumbstruck as always.
"I'll see you for your birthday."She says walking out the door climbing in a cab.
I didn't know what to think really but I knew one thing for certain I knew there was rough waters ahead and I knew that without wanting to be one I had just become a cheater because of the girl that made me question everything I had built up in a year.
Authors Message
I thought you guys might like a little bit more of Beth.
Now comes the ultimate question.
Who do you prefer Beth or Fae?
Remember to comment please guys and vote.