A week had passed since I last saw Delaney, but we called each other every night and texted throughout the whole day. Every time my friends brought up her name, I would grin and my heart would skip a couple of beats. I was attracted to her and I wanted to become something more with her in the future, but I was trying to take things slow. We didn't have to label anything or see each other every day. I was content with where we were at and I think Delaney was too.
The cute good morning texts, the random phone calls and late night pictures was enough for now. Although, I admit I did miss seeing her and if I actually had time, I would stop by but I was too busy. Jimmy was punishing me for my speech by putting a sh-t ton of work on me. Work that didn't even match my status. One day, he literally made me stand on a corner in one of our hoods and sell drugs. That's chump work. He was trying to bring me down, but he couldn't. No matter how many curveballs he threw at me, I wasn't going to bite my tongue, especially when the gang is going to sh-t. Unlike him, I won't stand around and do nothing.
After doing my sh-tty duties for the day, I finally walked out of the safe house to enjoy my afternoon. I'm sure Jimmy would call again and force me to do something else, but for now it felt good to be free. "Hey!" As soon as I got to the door of my car, a frantic lady ran over to me from across the street. She had bags under her eyes, her gray stringy hair was messy and she seemed upset. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked around to make sure no one was pranking me.
"Hi," I said skeptically.
"I'm looking for my son," she cut straight to the chase. Her eyes were wide and desperate. She pulled out a picture from her pocket and handed it to me. "Ted Ricci. He's apart of this gang. It's normal for me not to see him for a few weeks, but he usually calls me everyday. It's been a week since he called me last and I just want to know if he's okay."
My heart sunk in my chest as my eyes shifted away from the picture and onto the ground. I knew exactly who her son was. Ted was an older guy, well into his forties but he loved to drink. He was wild and always got the parties started at the safe house. Everyone knew he was a good time. That's why it was devastating to hear that he was one of the five that died last week during the brawl. He loved to party but he wasn't the aggressive type, at least not with his own members. "You know him, don't you," his mother asked hopefully.
Why didn't anyone contact her and let her know that her son died? I didn't know if I could. A huge part of me wanted to lie and say that Ted was fine and that he had just left, but I couldn't. She deserved to know the truth, no matter how much it hurt. I handed the picture back to her and nodded my head. "I know him," I said lowly.
"Where is he?! Is he okay?!"
Shoving my hands in my pocket, I looked into the woman's blue eyes. From the look in mine, I think she could tell that what I was about to say wasn't good news. Her face bawled up and tears began pouring down her cheeks almost immediately. "I'm sorry, ma'am. Last week, a huge brawl happened and he didn't make it. I thought you knew. I just-I'm so sorry. Ted was a good guy."
The woman stood in front of me, sobbing over her son. She kept saying his name over and over again. Her cries were loud and they echoed through the streets. I tried to reach for her and place my hand on her shoulder, but when I did she pushed me. "You're all evil! You killed my baby," she screamed at me. As she continuously pushed me around. All she kept screaming at me was, "You killed my baby," as she slapped, pushed and punched at me like a punching bag.
All I could do was stand there and take it. She was emotional. She just lost her son and didn't know he was dead for a week. She had every right to attempt to kick my ass. When the lady calmed down, she dropped to her knees. I didn't know what to do. There was nothing I could do to bring her son back. I thought for a few moments before pulling out my wallet. I knew money wasn't going to help anything but it was the least I could do.
I pulled a couple thousand worth of hundreds out of my wallet and offered it to the lady. She protested and even attempted to spit on me. "I know this isn't going to replace him, but I know he'd want you to have this. So, please, just take it."
The lady slowly stood up to her feet and snatched the money away from me. "You're a monster."
I didn't kill Ted and I wasn't present when everything went down, but having a lady tell me I was a monster and yell at me for killing her son really hit me. That was the downfall of being a gangster. The heartbreak, the murders and the guilt can get overwhelming. They say it'll go away after some time and you'll become an absolute emotionless robot killing machine, but I didn't see how.
I ended up at Delaney's door. She answered and by the look on her face, she was surprised to see me. Her hair was in a messy bun and she was dressed leisurely. It was obvious that something was wrong with me. I tried my best to smile at her and she grabbed my hands and pulled me inside without a word. We went into her room and sat on the bed. I laid back on it and covered my face with my hands. A few hot tears fell down my cheeks. Delaney laid beside me and snuggled into me. We laid there in silence for a long while as I silently cried.
When I was finally done, I wiped my face with my hands and cleared my throat. "I'm sorry," I told her. My voice was raw and strained. "I don't know why but coming here was the only thing on my mind. It was stupid of me to just come here, cry and ruin your day," I said as I sat up.
Delaney sat up as well and placed her hand on my back. She rubbed my back soothingly as she looked at me with worry. "You can come here anytime. Don't be sorry. You didn't ruin my day. I was watching repeats of the Kardashians all day. That's way sadder than your crying," she joked lightheartedly.
I laughed and looked at her. "That was better than my day."
"What happened?"
"A guy that died during the brawl last week, his mom came and asked where he was. She didn't know he was dead. I had to break it to her. She kept hitting me. She told me that I killed her baby a million times. She called me a monster, and I don't know. It just hit home. Every once in a while, sh-t like that gets to me. I wish I was one of those emotionless freaks but I'm not." Delaney stopped rubbing my back and instead she took my hand.
"You're not a monster, Andy. You had nothing to do with that guy's death. His mother was just distraught."
"How do you know?"
"Know what?"
"That I'm not a monster." Delaney pursed her lips. She didn't know what to say and she didn't have to say anything. "I've done bad things, Delaney. I was 16. My ex broke up with me because I was cheating on her. I got mad and burnt down her house. I was in a bad mood. This prick cut me off. I followed him home and shot him in the head. I killed a guy right in front of his wife and kids because he owed the family money. I went to a funeral of a man I killed just to spit on his grave. That's just a small portion of the f-cked up sh-t I've done. You may think you know me but you don't. I'm cool now, but Delaney I have a temper. There's no telling what I'll do. I get angry sometimes. I get worked up. I go blank, things happen. I'm way better than I used to be, but it can get bad."
Delaney didn't bat an eye at me. She kept holding my hand as if she didn't hear the words that came out of my mouth. I expected her to start pushing me out the door or calling me a monster herself. "Why are you telling me this?"
"To warn you. I really like you, but I don't want to go further and get your hopes up because you think I'm someone that I'm not. I can be so f-cking good to you but I can be bad too. I just want you to know what you're getting yourself into if we go any further."
"You kill people. That's nothing new. You cheated, so have 75% of my exes. You have a temper, so do I. I can get just as crazy as you can, and if we ever date and you ever cheat on me, I'll probably try to kill you rather than leave you. I don't care about your past, Andy. You've done bad sh-t. Really bad sh-t, but I don't care. I know you're better than what you're leading on."
Delaney leaned over and kissed my cheek. I smiled and kissed her hand which was holding mine. "Nobody's perfect, Andy. Not me. Not you. So save the guilty sob stories and live in the moment. You f-cked up yesterday and today, but guess what, b-tch? There's a tomorrow."
I chuckled before biting my lip. "You should be an inspirational speaker."
"I know, right? I think I deserve some kind of reward for that amazing, uplifting quote," she suggested. She batted her eyelashes at me and leaned in towards me.
I leaned in and licked my lips. "I think you deserve something too, but what do you want," I questioned as I peeped down at her lips. It was crazy how she made all my negative emotions go away. It was hard not to be smile or be happy when I was around her.
Delaney took a deep breath and replied huskily, "I really want you to drive me with your thick, fat..." her hand trailed from my knee up to my my inner thigh, "wallet. And take me to get something to eat."
I laughed at her and she giggled adorably. "Someone's hungry."
"I haven't ate today," she whined with a pout. "Can we please go eat, Andy?" Delaney got on top of me, and her legs straddled my waist. Her arms wrapped around my neck as she left soft kisses along my jaw. She whimpered adorably constantly. "I'm a hungry girl. Feed me."
I placed my hands on her hips and drummed my fingertips against them. "The last thing I want to do is eat right now, baby girl."
Delaney's chest rose. I loved the affect I had on her when I called her that. I kissed her shoulder before biting it teasingly. "F-ck you," she muttered. She was turned on now too, but I guess hunger outweighed horny. Within a few seconds, Delaney jumped from on top of me and grabbed her shoes. "Let's go eat, handsome!"
Delaney and I went to Taco Bell, which perplexed me. I thought she would hate it since it wasn't genuine Spanish food but I was wrong. She ordered enough for two people, and I ordered enough for three. A girl I could eat with, I loved that. "I can't believe you like Taco Bell. Rafael hates it. He can't eat Hispanic food unless it's genuine."
"What's his ethnicity?"
"Italian and Colombian. His father is like Italian as f-ck and his mom is Columbian as f-ck so he gets the best of both worlds. I'm telling you, Thanksgiving at his place is the sh-t," I told her. Even though I was already eating, my mouth was watering. No one could cook better than my mom, but Rafael and his parents were close seconds.
"Whoa! That's so cool. I'm Columbian but since I don't know my real parents I don't have a sense of Columbian culture. Mia is Mexican and being around her family, I think I experienced like every Mexican tradition. That's really cool though. What if Rafael is like my brother or something?"
I laughed at the thought of Rafael and Delaney being brother and sister. That would really catch me off guard. "If you were Rafael's sister, he'd kill me for having sex with you. So, let's hope he's not," I joked. Delaney laughed before taking a huge bite out of a taco. It was amazing how much she could eat. I honestly ate like my stomach was an endless pit but she was keeping up. "Do you know how to cook Mexican food since you're always around Mia and her family?"
"No, not at all. The question is, can you cook me Italian food?"
"No way. I can't cook anything."
Delaney smacked her lips. "Dammit, Andy. You had one job. I need someone who can cook."
"If you promise me, you'll learn how to cook Mexican food then I'll start taking cooking lessons from my mom," I suggested. Delaney stared at me for a while before simply nodding her head.
"Deal."
"Until then, my little sister is actually having a birthday party. She's turning eighteen and knowing her and my parents, she's throwing an extravagant party at their place. A lot of people are going to be there and my mom's family is coming down and they make amazing Italian food. I was wondering if you wanted to go. It's next Saturday, if that helps."
"As if I would ever turn down free food, especially traditional Italian food. The question is, do you really want me to meet your family? They'll love me and it'll probably be hard to get rid of me once I get them to love me." I rolled my eyes at her before chuckling. "I'm being serious, Andy! I know we're not dating or anything, but all of my exes parents love me. Literally, there's one right now trying to pay me to get back with their son. I'm perfect."
"Nobody's perfect," I told her, referencing what she told me earlier. In response, Delaney threw taco beef at me. It fell on my shirt and instead of wiping it off, I picked up the meat and stuck it in my mouth.
Delaney laughed hysterically as I just shrugged my shoulders. "You're such a fatass."
"No fat shaming," I told her strictly. "Are you going to eat that last taco?"
"Andy, literally, you've ate five already."
"I'm a hungry girl," I whined, mocking her. Delaney shoved her taco towards me and I gladly took it. "So, are you down to go to the party?"
"Yeah, but don't say I didn't warn you. Your parents are going to want you to wife me."
"My mom's really picky. She'll probably hate you." Every girl I brought home to my mom, she always had something bad to say about them. They were always too skinny, too pale, too fat, too short, too tall. It was like nothing was good enough for her.
"She'll love me," Delaney said ignoring my last comment. "Just watch."
-
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