Saturday 16th January 2016
Gasping for breath, I sit up, my whole body's covered in sweat. I've been waking up like this for past five months now, the first one came the night dad came to our old house. Today's the worst one yet.
I was sitting on an old bench in the old park my parents and I used to go to when I was a child. I was about ten at the time. I was waiting for my mum because she was getting some ice-creams for the both of us from the ice-cream van covered in stickers. I could still see her from where I was sitting. I looked away for a few seconds, at the ducks in the large pond that went around the whole park.
There were two big ducks with green spots on their necks, swimming behind them were baby ducklings, eight of them, all following in a straight line. I found myself giggling at them, gazing back to mum, but she wasn't there.
I stood up, a chill in the air with the sky darkening, I scanned every direction, turning in circles, I couldn't spot her.
"Mum- mum!" I ran up to the van, the man was faced away from me, I took a breath to calm down."Excuse me, sir, have you seen my mum, she was just here a few seconds ago?" I asked, quickly becoming more and more worried. Where is she, I scanned the trees, to see if she's hiding from me.
I focus back on the man, but he didn't turn around. "Hello, please sir- help me!" I pleaded to the tall stranger, with brown hair. He suddenly turned around.
I choked whispering, "daddy?"
He just stared at me, "Do you want an ice cream Dawson?" his voice was calm. Chills racked down my whole spine. It wasn't from the cold.
It's dad but wasn't, his face seemed blurry with a dark presence like a hidden shadow surrounding him. I couldn't open my mouth to reply. I wet my lips, clearing my throat getting angry, "what have you done to mum?" I demanded.
He leaped out from the window screen, which is impossible and grabs my shoulders, squashing me. I was too shocked to move.
I was frozen when he leaned down close to my face, blowing his breath on me making me shut my eyes tightly. He started to chuckle, then stopped himself to say, insanely, "she's broken and it's your fault Dawson." His tone excited, he started to laugh ferocious even louder than before. Evil is the only word to describe it.
"Look," he whispers, turning me around to the direction I came running from. Three feet in front of me was my mum. She was lying on the ground, her body not quite right. I didn't want to believe it, I started struggling, needing to go to her.
"No, get off me, let me go... mum!" I stuttered madly, he didn't listen, my hair was flying everywhere, blowing in every direction, I became aware that it was too quiet. Only hearing myself as I took in mum body.
I then felt dad's head move closer to my ear, making me stop completely before he whispered chillingly, "your next... sweetie."
Hearing a small cry from the other room shook me up from nightmare. I stood shaking my head, leaving my dark room to go into the next one. I switch on the lamp, my shadow illuminates the wall.
I go up to my brother's cot, "Leo?" I soothe his soft light hair. "What's to matter?" I pick up his small warm body, moving over to the other corner of the room, I sit down in the rocking chair, that's covered in soft light blue blankets.
Once I sat back and started rocking the chair I observe mum's side of the room, I see her face scrunched up as she dreams, "mummy, needs sleep," I whisper to Leo, staring back down at him, his big blue eyes staring up at me while he sucks on his white pacifier.
"Did you have a bad dream too?" I ask like he was going to answer me, I smile down at him. I move his head closer to mine and breath in his scent through my nose, shutting my eyes. Fresh soap and baby oil.
I start to hum a nursery song mum used to sing to me, and he started to slowly shut his eyes, when I peek at him. I love having a brother.
After dad came to our old house and took all my money, mum got so stressed out that she had Leo earlier, thank god that he was ok.
I was at Richburg beach reading a book in our new town, when I got the call saying mum was in the hospital. I freaked out, I was told she was having my sibling. I called a taxi, getting there as fast as I could.
Walking into my mum's hospital room, she was sat up in bed, I saw a small bundle in her arms, in a white blanket, which was crazy to me, adding to that was seeing my mum's face. I hadn't seen her that happy in a while. "Dawson come meet your little brother, Leo Sage." Looking down at him now in my arm, I felt blessed to have him in my crazy messed up life, but hated that he would have to grow up without a dad.
"Dawson?" Mum asks, confused, her voice full of sleep. "Morning, Leo was crying and I didn't want to wake you, so I rocked him back to sleep," I quietly said, making sure not to wake Leo up.
"Oh, you didn't need to do that..." I interrupted her, "I don't mind- really mum." I smile up at her. I stood, gently putting Leo back into his cot, he did a little jump, but went straight back to sleep with a tiny snore that was adorable.
I turn off the lamp, then followed mum down the hallway into the small kitchen, sitting down while she put the kettle on. The sun's beaming through the window, making me squint my eyes. "So, how's school been?" she questions me as she mixed sugar into her coffee.
I frown. "Well, it's going ok, I guess," I reply, getting up to get a glass and the milk out. Mum replies, "well you've been going to Richburg secondary for a while now... you haven't told me anything about it, or if you've made any friends there, except for Tyler." She sounded worried, I'm glad that I was turned away from her, so she couldn't see the shame in my face.
It wasn't like I couldn't make friends if I wanted, but in the back of my mind, I'd always wonder, are we going to have to move and leave the friends I've made, but I couldn't tell her that. I spin back to my mum after taking a sip of my drink and soothing out my features, smiling.
"School's, school nothing exciting happens, it's boring." I try to reassure her, seeing the cupboards that I knew were filled with food, just behind mum's head.
"Okay Dawn, but what about..." she asks concerned, knowing I didn't answer her properly, I slid my eyes back to hers. "Mum, I'm doing ok, I promise- can we just leave it at that please." I add, annoyance slowly creeping through my tired voice.
"Ok, I just have to know if you are ok. You get that I have to be worried about you, right?" She laughs, trying to make the atmosphere a bit brighter.
"I know, I love you mum." I respond while putting my empty glass in the sink, I move over to her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders, breathing in her scent. She smelt a bit like Leo. I think I caught her off guard, because she took a shaky breath.
While brushing my hair taking out the knots, she whispers, "everything going to be ok Dawson, nothing is going to happen." I hope so mum, I hope so.
After a few minutes we let go, smiling at each other. Mum said she was going to get herself and Leo dressed, they'd be going shopping, she asked if I wanted to go. I said no.
Before she went I gave Leo a big kiss on his cute chubby cheek, I told mum that I will be in the garden, and to phone me if she need me for anything.
In the garden, listening to music playing on the radio, singing along to the lyrics I knew and trying, but failing at ones I didn't. I'm was my hands and knees just under our window, digging up holes in the dark ground for the plants that I had recently grown in pots, ready to be planted in the rich soil.
"Excuse me, can I ask you what you think you are doing?" A male voice said unhappily to me. I circle my head around, frowning confused, but laughed. Tyler. I stood up, dusting off my hands on my top and punch him softly in his shoulder.
"God, you scared me, Tyler!" I took a breath as he pulls a pained face, rubbing his shoulder.
"Woah Dawson, thanks for that." He tries his best to keep his face upset, but fails miserably.
I met Tyler on the first day of school last September, he decided that he would take it upon himself to be my friend, it took him about a month to finally break me out of my shell. I don't know why he did it, I asked him once and he told me, 'everyone needs at least one friend, nobody should be left alone even if that person thinks that they should.' I'm glad he did what he did.
"So... where's your beautiful mother and that brother of yours?" He wiggles his dark bushy eyebrows at me. "They've gone shopping, they'll be back soon though." I reply, rolling my eyes. Tyler sits down, his long legs stretched out ahead of him, he blocks his dark brown eyes, facing the sun, Tyler's good looking, with a square jaw. I smile, going back to gardening.
After about twenty minutes I look at him, he was messing with his watch on his tanned wrist, he seemed lost in thought, instead of his normal chatty self. A light breeze blows through his dirty blond hair. "How's Luke doing?" Luke was Tyler's boyfriend; they've been together for about a half a year now.
Tyler looks over at me, he stops messing with his watch. "Oh, I don't know... he's always busy now, he never has enough time to talk anymore." Tyler's boyfriend was in his first year of college; he's taking business.
This couldn't be good, I frown, "what does that mean?" I'm so confused. He shakes his head, looking down, "we kind of had an argument and I broke up with him last night" Tyler whispers, sounding angry at himself.
"Oh Tyler, why didn't you tell me?" He shrugs.
"Well, I'm here for you if you want to rant me about it or even if you want us to go over to Luke's house and egg his bedroom window," I jokingly said, smiling, but I knew they wouldn't be separated for long.
We were interrupted before Tyler could reply, a black car slowly came to a stop in front of the house. Mum's sat in the front seat, both Tyler and I stood, moving over the gravel path while mum got out, and walks around waving, opening the boot.
"Hey Tyler, how's Ella?" Mum asked, taking a few bags, Tyler kindly got the rest, while answering her, "she's doing great, she's still wondering if next Friday's still on?" I stopped listening because I opened the right side back door. Leo was up, I began to unclip him. "Leo, have you been shopping with mummy?" I ask him, picking up his small body into my arms, he yawns loudly, I move to open the front door for us all.
Gratitude filled mum's voice, "Thanks you, you're both golden," after we finished putting everything away, Leo's asleep, having his afternoon nap.
'You're most welcome, Amelia,' Tyler replies bowing, smiling a big goofy smile. Mum laughs as he continues, "but now I must take your daughter, because we're going out to the beach," I make a face, a question shines in my eyes, yet Tyler wasn't looking at me, he's asking mum for permission.
"Well ok, but keep your phone on you Dawn, stay away from the water once it's dark," She gives me a quick hug, I hardly got to say bye before Tyler grabs my hand, pulling me out of the home.