Do you ever wish that there was a switch in your mind where you could just turn off every emotion so you wouldn't feel so bad, so terrified.
But it's not the vampire diaries, it's real life and it sucks.
When everything goes right, he always seems to come in the picture. He never leaves my mind, he's there and I want it to stop.
"LILY WAKE UP!" I wake up, the screams coming out and I didn't even realise.
I look at the ceiling that I cannot see because of the darkness, I just stare blankly.
Lightness brights the room up from the lamp, I see Luca leaning over me looking at me with worry and stress.
"Flower" he whispers brushing my hair out of my face gently.
The sobs come out "h-he's always there Luca, h-haunting me. I'm such a cry baby" I stutter.
I feel him picking me up and placing me on his lap, his hands running through my hair to calm me down.
"No your not, you've been through a lot" he whispers.
"But not enough for p-people to understand" I say "I'm scared" I admit.
"Tell me" he mumbles.
"I know he's coming and he will get me" his arms tighten "you know that Luca, you just don't want to believe it. I'm scared for when he comes" he kisses my temple.
"So am I" he admits and I face him straddling him.
"I'm so so scared" I say breaking down, he hugs me and I sob into his chest.
"Again; so am I."
~~
"You know you're like an angel" Lexi says.
"How?"
She looks at me "you're like Lucas lightness, he's never had it easy Lily, just like you" she whispers, I drop the iPad on the floor and I hear a crack.
I quickly bend down to pick it up but end up cutting myself with the glass shards that are sticking out, I wince and look as blood comes out.
"I-I'm sorry" she shakes her head.
"It's okay."
"Is everything alright?" Luca asks walking into the room with Xavier, we both look at them.
"Lily cut her finger" in a rush Luca is by my side holding my hand gently, he inspects my hand and looks at the little bloodied finger.
"Are you okay?" He asks with worry.
"Of course I am, it's a little cut and there's barley any blood" I say.
"Still...." I give him a look to back off "at least let me clean it flower" I sigh and nod slowly.
He quickly cleans it up and bandages it "awe you're such a sweetheart!" Lexi exclaims, he growls.
"I am not a sweetheart" he glares.
"Ohh you are" she says looking between us, I sigh.
"Can we please go home?" I ask trying not to be rude.
I see Lexis face drop, I know she's trying to make me accept her but I already have; she's great.
I walk up to her and hug her "thank you for a good day Lexi, we will catch up again soon" I smile pulling back, she grins.
"You are most welcome Lily!" She chirps.
"I just had a rough night so I need some rest" I explain and she nods in understanding.
I look at Xavier and he hugs me "we need to talk soon" I nod and back away, I wave then Luca and I walk out.
Luca grabs my hand kissing the back of it "are you sure that you're okay?" I nod with a small smile.
"I'm really tired" I say.
After we woke up well I woke us.... I couldn't fall back asleep because I didn't want to and Luca stayed up with me.
I told him that he could sleep but he wanted to stay up with me so I didn't fight him on it.
I jump on the bed and he does to, I curl at his side and he wraps his arm around me.
"He's coming" I whisper looking at the wall next to him.
He stays silent and I blink my eyes slowly "Luca?"
"Yes?"
"When are you going to tell me what happened to you, what made you like this; more specifically who" I feel him tense and I look at him.
"I'm not ready Lily."
"But you know everything about me, you know what happened; why is it so hard to tell me?" I whisper.
"Drop it" he grits out, I sit up and look down at him.
"You're being unfair" I say.
He scowls at me "I told you to stop!" He shouts surprising me, he stands up off the bed and heads for the door.
"Where are you going?" I ask.
"I'm sleeping in the guest room" I look down and listen as the door slams closed, what's so wrong with asking what happened to him when he knows my whole life story?
'You kept on asking after he asked you to drop it, he said he wasn't ready Lily' I ignore my wolf and grab my head angrily.
I scream angrily and chuck his pillow at the door, I fall back into the bed and look at the white ceiling.
"When will this be over?" I whisper.
'When alpha Jones is dead.'
No it won't be over then, alpha Jones isn't the problem right now Luca and I are. Well I am.
We are just going to keep having these problems if we aren't honest with each other.
Moon goddess help us
Double update for you all!!!
Isn't all relationships like that though? Trust is the key to a relationship people, if there's no trust then there's no relationship. Luca just doesn't have that trust yet...
I'm back at school so there might be less updates, it depends. Gosh I hate school!!
Do any of you have two best friends and you just third wheel sometimes then you think wait a minute I'm not going to be their third wheel! I'm an independent woman (or man)
If so you're not alone in this! Friends are honestly so annoying
What time is it where you all live?
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Keely