t w e n t y t h r e e
The latter half of the year was a repetitive and unappealing blur to the Baby Lips maknae when it came to things regarding her career and Pledis Entertainment. There was the release of their repackaged album called Sweet, which happened to be on the same day of release as EXO's repackaged album Growl. Their music videos came out on the same day even, and both groups were once more pitted against each other for dominance over the music charts. The typical Romeo and Juliet set up in which two families--in this case two kpop groups--who were very alike, deeply hated each other.
Time after time, Baby Lips came in second in everything. There was not one time that they were able to defeat EXO, and the girls saw it as a failure. Their agency saw the profits as something salvageable of the whole situation. They were still the top selling group in Pledis Entertainment and were only behind EXO in all the music charts.
But for Sun and her group mates it was frustrating.
Always coming in second to EXO.
Then there was the fact that she and Aron had officially announced their relationship to the world and she no longer had a single moment of peace. All her time was spent either in the dorm building, the agency where she practiced every day, or going out with Aron on fake dates organized by their managers. Those were the most difficult because she had to pretend that she was happy being with Aron when she wasn't. It was also hard for her to sneak off at night to see Yixing, since the media was always watching her, ready to take photos of her and her label mate who had been already confirmed as her boyfriend. Sun and Aron quickly became the power couple of Pledis Entertainment--second favorite after Minnie and her boyfriend Isaac who were held in high esteem by the fans due to the years that they had been together already.
It wasn't long before her managers offered her a solo opportunity, since they had seen what the relationship had done to her popularity. It had skyrocketed even more, and Pledis wanted to pull in all the profits.
Sun accepted on the condition that her group members Ara and Rin would be next on the priority list to release solo albums. They were the main vocalists of the subgroup BLK, and Sun wanted it to be fair for them all to receive the same opportunities as vocalists, since she had seen and heard about the unfairness in SM Entertainment when it came to their idols. On various occasions, Yixing had vented to her about wanting to seek solo opportunities within the company, but he had been too afraid to request them because he had seen the way other fellow label mates had been denied those opportunities. Pledis was a bit more supportive of their idols when it came to branching out of their groups. So much so that the rap line of Baby Lips was already working on a project together, while the dance line had their own solo commitments planned.
It was well into the month of November when Pledis started promoting her as a solo artist officially, with her upcoming album which would be titled If I Never See You Again.
During that time, Sun and Yixing were happy with each other. Though both of them lived an almost forced happiness whenever they were away from each other. Yixing wanted to say something to her, to urge her once more so that she would finally decide and they could take that next step together. But he didn't want to pressure her and he knew that each time he talked about it, they ended up arguing senselessly. For Sun it was the forced happiness of having to spend all that time with Aron, pretending that she loved him, when she already had a boyfriend that she loved.
As her self given deadline was approaching--she had promised Yixing that they would out their relationship by the end of that year, she still felt like she wasn't ready. She was ready to love him, but she wasn't ready to tell the world about it.
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pledis_ent: another of our vocalists from baby lips, sun(@blm_sunshine) has decided to take this big step in releasing her first solo album. this mini album features six songs written by the baby lips group member herself!
it will be available for purchase on december 12th. but you can pre-order here:
itunes.com/sun-blm-if-i-never-see-you-again
amazon.co.kr/sun-baby-lips
pledis.co.kr/sun-first-mini-album
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Yixing was secretly looking at the instagram account for Pledis Entertainment. He had learned through allkpop and through his girlfriend Sun that she would be releasing her first solo album within the next month. He was very proud of her, but as he looked at the track list, he couldn't help but let his expression drop to a frown.
He almost felt like she was sending him a message through her song titles.
If I Never See You Again.
What We Used To Be.
I Swear (That I Love You)
Secretly.
Somewhere Only We Know.
Through Love Letters.
All were song titles which described their relationship. Each of them seemed to fit in somehow. That was the way their relationship worked and that was the way she seemed to want it because it was convenient for the two of them. But he wasn't concerned with convenience. He was tired of all the hiding, the secrets, the lying to everyone. Of course there were things he didn't tell his group members, he liked his privacy as much as anyone.
But he was deliberately lying to them as far as Baby Lips was involved. He didn't see the need for that when he was doing nothing wrong.
He remembered the promise she had made him.
By the end of this year, she had said to him almost four months prior. It was nearing December and he only hoped she wouldn't change her mind again. He had also promised to wait for her, but his patience was running thin. It was merely a sliver now and he knew that he couldn't continue living that way. It was not necessary.
It was the last opportunity he was willing to give their love.
-
Sun was sat cross legged on her bed, waiting for Sarang to emerge from the bathroom that they shared in their dorm. They had gotten back from practice minutes earlier and Sarang had beaten Sun in a game of rock, paper, scissors to get in the shower first. She had placed her phone on the night stand in between both beds, right next to Sarang's phone, and she was distractedly scrolling through her weibo account on her laptop. It was her daily ritual to check her notifications first and then secretly scroll through Yixing's account to see what he was up to. The latter she mostly did on days when she wouldn't hear from him for hours due to their busy schedules. But for the most part, they tried to get a few minutes of conversation in each night.
She heard a ringing sound coming from the night stand, indicating that she had a text message in her inbox, and she reached to grab her phone. Bringing the phone into her sights, she looked at the screen to see a text from a contact name she didn't remember inputting into her phone.
ramyeon<3: hey jagi, wanna go out tonight? :)
Sun crinkled up her nose in confusion for a moment until it sunk in that the phone she was holding in her hand didn't belong to her. Her eyes widened in surprise and she hurriedly placed the phone back in its place.
The moment she placed it back on the night stand, her brain started racing with thoughts, making connections. She thought back to the dream in which she remembered seeing Junmeyon leaving the back hallway where Sarang had been making out with her mystery man. Now it was starting to feel like it wasn't a dream. Ramyeon was the name in Sarang's contact list, with a heart next to it. The words, its pronunciation and its spelling was eerily similar to the EXO leader's name. But what did that matter to her anyway? It was none of her business who her group mate went out with, and she knew she owed Sarang her privacy.
But right then when she thought about Sarang and Junmyeon possibly dating, she couldn't help but feel happy for them. Happy because they both deserved to have that liberty to date whoever they wanted. She was also afraid for them because she knew of the consequences that could come from a relationship like that--between two people who were supposed to be enemies. Two people who were supposed to hate each other. She also felt a twinge of relief that she wasn't alone with her secrets. Sarang would understand her and become her support system, just as Sun could be for her.
If what she remembered from the party wasn't a dream the way she had originally thought it, then it meant Sarang's mystery man was none other than a boy from the group they all claimed to hate. Sarang and Junmyeon had started out to be the same as her and Yixing, publicly criticizing each other with each chance they got.
Sarang emerged from the bathroom, dressed in her pajamas and using a towel to dry out her wet hair.
"Unnie," Sun began with a bit of hesitance to get her attention.
Sarang walked over to her bed in the dorm and plopped down on it, continuing to dry her long dark hair. She nodded and placed her attention on the maknae of the group.
"Your phone beeped with a text message and I accidentally picked it up and looked at it because I thought it was my phone." Sun explained in an apologetic tone, biting down on her lip nervously since she didn't know how her group mate would react.
The leader of Baby Lips seemed to freeze in her place on the bed and started back at Sun with wide eyes. Swallowing a nervous lump that had formed in he throat, she tried to play herself off as calm. "And what did you see?" She asked, clearly nervous about having her secret relationship possibly exposed.
"It was from ramyeon." Sun said.
It was then that Sarang knew she was busted. The secret was out.
When she said nothing, Sun continued, "I know that its Junmyeon oppa."
Sarang only heaved a sigh, her gaze avoiding her group mates. That mere expression and avoiding of eye contact between them gave Sun her answer. But again she said nothing.
"I wasn't sure at first." The maknae explained. "But then I saw that text--how his contact name is similar to his real name even though you tried to hide it. And then I remembered when I saw him emerging from the same place where you were making out with your mystery man. At first I wasn't sure, but now I am."
She wanted to let her friend know that she wasn't against them being together. How could she when she herself was romantically involved with the enemy? She had broken the number one rule engraved into the minds of all new Pledis trainees. Never get involved with anyone from SM. They are the enemy.
The strong leader of their group, the unbreakable, the one who was the most emotionally strong out of them, surprised Sun when the tears started spilling out of her eyes. Her expression was full of guilt that came with having hid something like that from the other girls who were like her sisters, and then a fear that she would be forced to give up that relationship--to stomp down that nice feeling she got in her heart whenever she was with him. They didn't always get along really well. They had similar personalities and in that they clashed because they were both leaders, both wanted to be the ones in charge. It was like a fire and their personalities were adding gasoline to it.
But Sarang had grown to like that about Junmyeon.
He was a sweet person, and sometimes even too nice, but as a leader he was fierce. He took care of his members and did everything to protect them whenever they needed him. And she was the same. She would do anything for the other girls.
"Unnie..." Sun frowned upon seeing her group mate in tears.
"Sun you can't tell anyone..." She begged through her cracked voice and face wet with tears. She appeared so distressed, and she didn't know what to do.
It had all been fun and wonderful with him until someone found out about it. Then they would be in real trouble.
"I won't." The younger group member swore. She quickly jumped off her bed rushed to pull her into her arms in order to console her. Sarang was comforted by Sun's words, but wasn't sure how much truth was in them.
Now that the truth of Junmyeon and Sarang was confirmed, Sun sought to make her friend feel better by laying out her own set of truths. There was nothing to lose. Sarang wouldn't tell anyone now because she was on the same page. She was guilty of the same things and that in a way provided Sun with some level of relief.
"I won't tell anyone." She repeated, and her mouth felt dry and bitter as she tried to get out the next words. It was like her own body was trying to stop her from revealing her truth. "I can't tell anyone about you and Junmyeon oppa because...I am doing the same."
Sarang pulled away from her slowly, looking up into Sun's eyes with confusion.
"I'm secretly dating Zhang Yixing."
-
two revelations in one chapter :o that's because we're a bit over half way done with this story. and this is about the point where the bigger drama is going to start. because then we need the falling action and resolution to happen. except if you're me. bc i tend to finish a book with a cliff hanger which can then make way for me to open into a sequel.
so i hope you're liking the book so far. i have worked super hard on it. thank you for reading, and have a wonderful day!
-clary xx