Disclaimer: I do not own Animaniacs. Yakko, Wakko and Dot and all of the other characters belong to their own respective owners. This was made strictly for entertainment and no profit is made off of this.
Chapter 28: Found.
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"Why dear, where are you going?"
Aroma turned back and looked at Yakko. He was getting his last bits in before the divorce was finalized and he wasn't Mr. Therapy anymore. "Meeting Iri and Dot for shopping."
"Want me to come with you?" Renraw asked with little hope.
"Shopping? That's okay."
"Iri might be a little late," Yakko teased.
Aroma looked at him. "Why?"
Yakko opened the closet next to him. Inside was Iri and Wakko making out like their lives depended on it. When they realized what he did, Iri stopped and smiled at Aroma awkwardly. "Hey, sis." She coughed. "What?"
"Iri." Aroma shook her head.
"I was married to him. We had the tower mostly to ourselves," Iri said in her defense. "He's a good kisser?"
"I'm taking her out to celebrate the divorce coming soon," Wakko grinned.
"Any reason to go out at all," Yakko laughed.
"So?" Wakko frowned. "What'd you do that for?" He then smiled. "We we're comfy." He looked around. "Is Zenny around?"
"Are you dead?" Yakko chuckled. "I wouldn't bear witness to such atrocity. He's out."
"Well good, don't tell." Iri gave Wakko a look. "Gotta go shopping. This has to be the last time."
"Sure! Just like the other 23 times." Wakko said as he waved goodbye.
"Twenty three times?" Yakko looked at Wakko in shock. "You sly ol' boy!"
"Not too sly," Wakko muttered. "She doesn't want Zenny 'knowing'." He sighed. "It starts friendly, then things happen, then we stop. Then later they begin again. How did you know we were in the closet?"
"Heard some voices when I walked past." Yakko chuckled. "Who stubbed their foot on an umbrella?"
"It won't happen again though. It's-we were just-we got close." Iri stuttered. "I know, I know. I like a Warner Brother, I'm awful. He's awful. He was blackmailing me, and I still let this happen."
"I won't place blame." Aroma smiled. "As long as you're happy."
Iri's face lit up. "He makes me laugh all the time! I get giddy whenever I'm around him. He's so..." She whined. "I can't though, I can't be with him. Not after everything, and Zenny too. I can't tell Zenny."
"I don't think you have a choice." Aroma chuckled. "Iri, you can say it won't happen again, but I heard what he said, and how he said it. It's not gonna stop, and Zenny's gonna find out. Your gonna have to tell him."
"Huh uh." Iri frowned. "Oh brother dearest?" She pretended. "I know you were awfully mad when I married Wakko Warner, but it's okay, we're getting divorced soon. But you see, I really fell for him though, so I'd like you to know I'm dating him for real now." She scoffed. "I'd sound horrible." She sighed and looked at Aroma. "You and Newt too?"
"...he admits to having some feelings for Minerva." Aroma sighed deeply. "He says he cares for me too though, and it was a long-ago crush with little bearing."
"Do you believe him?" Iri asked.
"I don't know." Aroma looked over at Iri. "I didn't break it off, but I have to talk to Minerva. If she feels the same way...I can't stay."
"If you like him, you should stay anyhow." Iri insisted. "Minerva or not, crush or not, every guy has a crush on their first. He'll forget her over time if you really belong together. Give Sparky another chance." She smiled. "Or is there something else in the way?" She noticed the change in Aroma's expression. "Sis?"
"..." Aroma took a minute before she finally shook her head no. "No."
"No, no one you can be with? Or no, no one you may be with?"
Aroma caught her sister's expression.
"He did say he couldn't be tied down to one girl." Iri said. "But it's been awhile since the 'Guys Night Out'. His thoughts might be different."
Aroma didn't answer back at first. "I'm with Newt, Iri."
"But wouldn't you rather be with me?"
Aroma gasped as she heard Yakko's voice.
Iri smiled at Aroma and kept walking. "You two talk that over a second."
Aroma stood still. "Ummm...Yakko, I-" Then, she saw it. The way he moved, the way he stood, the way he just blinked at her. She couldn't miss it this time.
It wasn't Yakko.
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Knock Knock
Slappy was about to gripe at Snappy to answer the door, but the knocking suddenly became urgent along with words she wasn't used to hearing at it. "Police! Open up!"
Slappy and Snappy both got off their keisters and answered the door. Slappy squinted as a photo was snapped of her. "What the heck?" A policeman grabbed her roughly, turned her around and placed cuffs on her. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, can and will be used against you."
"Whoah, whoah, whoah!" Slappy yelled. "What's this about? What's the charge?"
"You are charged with the murder of Slappy Squirrel and stealing her identity."
"WHAT?"
"Let go of her!" Snappy yelled as they started to drag her off.
Slappy's mind couldn't think straight as she heard voices all around.
"Murdering an innocent old squirrel is as low as it comes."
"Stop it, let her go!"
"Aunt Slappy?"
"Stop it, you're not taking Midgie away! You're not taking her away from me again! Aah, let go you-!"
"Snappy? Aunt Slappy? AUNT SLAPPY?
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Aroma tried not to tremble as she was presented to him. Don't tremble. Don't falter. You promised Yakko. You pinky swore it. She watched as Warren approached her. Don't show fear. Don't cry. Don't- an image of Yakko's usual jaunty smile passed in her mind.
"Welcome back Aroma."
Aroma watched as Warren approached even closer. "I'm not back." She declared. "I was simply brought here against my will by your creation."
"Oh. Really?" Warren laughed in amusement. "You're not ready to concede yet?"
"I won't." Aroma said, trying to keep the fear out of her voice. She was going for brave, but didn't pull it off.
"You won't?" Warren laughed and whirled around her. "Oh yeah? Well, we'll just see about that, won't we? How long does it take to break this thick shell my trophy seems to have grown over herself. Mm." His lip jerked up in a smirk. "Let's find out."
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"Good news today." Yakko gestured to the TV as he admired it. "Public apologies up the ying-yang." He twirled the remote around his fingers. "Think maybe I should mention how cold are guards were? Maybe we could get a nice parting gift."
Wakko laughed. "Like Mandy? That'd be a good parting gift."
"Wakko?"
"I mean for Yakko!" Wakko stuttered as he heard Iri behind him. He jumped off the couch and saw both Dot and Iri, each holding one shopping bag full of stuff. Their eyes were wide. "What?"
"Slappy." Dot remarked. "I was so surprised I dropped three of my bags. Wakko! I thought you said we were in the clear!"
"Clear for what?" Yakko got off the couch to stare too. "What is it?"
Just then, a new report came on.
"And in new news today, there is a suspect in the death of Slappy Squirrel, a former famous star who was in retirement in Burbank. The suspect has been accused of masquerading as said famous star and was arrested this evening."
"Clear for that!" Dot shouted as she pointed to the TV screen. "Slappy's been accused of taking someone's identity and murdering some kind of 'real' Slappy Squirrel!"
"But-but!" Wakko looked between the news report and Dot. "I thought it-she seemed confident. Snappy just had an anniversary, said he wasn't thinking straight." He groaned. "Sorry."
"Is this all a big setup?" Yakko asked. "It's got to be, right?"
"I don't know, we didn't see anything," Zenny said from the door as he jumped in with Renraw.
"Heard it though, a whole lot of police," Renraw added. "(Censored) crazy out there."
"Zenny, you left with Ren?" Wakko asked in surprise.
"Ha ha!" Renraw laughed. "Yeah, my new 'friend' is afraid I'm gonna go after his unattached sister now. Iri is unattached, right?"
Wakko didn't look too fondly at that observation. "She's not currently looking."
"Skip the drama tone, back to Slappy!" Yakko looked at Wakko. "Did you check anything out?"
"It was the opposite, I thought if they could pin anything it would be Slappy to Midge Squirrel. But...she seemed really, really confident." Wakko stated again. "Really, she told me to call you back. Pretty much demanded it, said her check was waiting on the show."
"Check or not." Dot looked over at Wakko. "We shouldn't have come back yet. Ugh. Now what?"
"I don't know." Yakko glanced between Dot and Iri. "Where's Aroma?"
"Aroma?" Iri smiled at him. "What? She was with you."
"No, she took off with you," Yakko stated.
"No, she was with you," Iri said. "Right? You stopped her on the way?"
"I didn't stop her!" Yakko hit his head. "That-that!"
"(Censored)! It was one of the (censored) cartoons of that (censored) imposter!" Renraw yelled.
Yakko didn't bother correcting him, he wanted to use those words too.
"I'm sorry." Iri looked between Yakko and Zenny. "I could have sworn it was Yakko. It was broad daylight, we were just going to the mall, how was I supposed to know?"
Yakko covered his face. "How long ago did you see her?"
"Few minutes before we met up with Dot." Iri said sadly. "About three hours."
"(Censored!)"
Renraw looked at both Yakko and Zenny. "First time I heard both you say that."
"Yakko?" Wakko asked as he watched him head to the door without even a goodbye.
"You!" Zenny pointed at Wakko. "Watch Iri and Dot, I gotta go." He pointed at Renraw. "You, stay away from both of them. You got it?"
"Don't worry." Wakko smiled. "I'll flatten him with a mallet if he so much as talks to them."
"You, you don't have to get that aggressive," Zenny corrected.
"That's okay, better safe than sorry," Wakko insisted as he waved at him. "Good luck finding your sister."
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Yakko rubbed his mouth. He'd run all over Burbank and not even a sign of a single villain or Aroma.
"Check the side streets again? Residential?"
Yakko looked at Zenny who'd follow. "You take residential, I'll check the studio again."
"We've checked the studio twenty times. My sister's not there."
"Where was Warren held up while Renraw did his thing?" Yakko asked out loud. "He wouldn't be too far. It's got to be on the studio lot...she's gotta be on the studio lot."
Zenny grabbed his head. "How could I have let that monster have her again? I've been tagging Renraw to keep him from Iri, and the biggest threat was nowhere near him. And I knew that!"
"I've seen Warren's copies, they're really good. Broad daylight...I walk up to her all the time." Yakko rolled his eyes. "I knew about those things, she knew about those things, everybody knew about them! Why'd she drop her guard? Why'd Iri drop her guard?"
"Did he call out to her? Did she walk up to him?" Zenny asked. "The approach must have been just right."
"What's it matter now?" Yakko seethed. "She's gone!"
"She'll be okay." Zenny patted his shoulder. "I know him. Once she agrees to being his trophy, his whole existence will be to play games. That's us in trouble, not her."
"She won't agree to it."
Zenny scoffed. "Trust me, she will."
"No, she won't." Yakko looked at Zenny. "I made her pinky swear she wouldn't."
Zenny looked at him. "You made her pinky swear? He's not gonna-he's not even gonna consider playing easy until she's his again. Why did you make her do that? Do you know what he'll do to her if she doesn't give in?"
"We're wasting time bickering, let's get out and find her! Every second talking is another second wasted." Yakko took off as quick as he could.
Somewhere on the studio lot.
Somewhere on the studio lot.
Somewhere...where?
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"Well, this blows. Say goodbye to our show." The copy that looked like Yakko looked over at Aroma. "You should have stayed put. We had our whole other cast planned out. Perfect replacements. Now there's nothing because you came back." He smiled. "The fun part is, our boss thought our introduction this afternoon was cool. I might get to be the one who plays a game with you."
"You're not Yakko." Aroma frowned. "I won't see you as him."
"You saw Renraw as me." Warren mentioned. "How are those cuffs doing?"
"Fine." Aroma felt the toon cuffs get even tighter around her wrists and knees.
"Do we have a plan B to get our show?" Warren's 'Wakko' creation asked. "Money would have been good. I'm tired of always hiding out. It's boring."
"No malls, no shopping, no one to torture, nothing." The copy of Dot agreed. "I wanted a show! Famous cartoons can do whatever they want, they always have money to pay their way out."
"No," Warren confessed. "Not happening now, they all came back. All that's left now is..." He glanced at Aroma. "Revenge."
"Revenge? You're the one who set Renraw up," Aroma reminded him. "You set the Warners up and had them separated. What more could you want?"
"That's the thing about revenge!" The copy of Yakko grinned. "You can never have enough! And if we aren't getting a show." He stretched his fingers out and cracked them. "Then we still can't strut around other cartoons. And if we can't do that, we are not really happy." He gestured around himself. "This is about all the fresh air we're gonna get."
"Eh, let's ruin their show then," The copy of Dot announced.
"That takes them all out of town though. No more fun for us." The copy of Wakko disagreed. "All we'll have is her," he said as he pointed to Aroma. "And that's for the boss. What's for us?"
"Well...I guess you can push and roll." Warren motioned to a trash can. "Grab her boys."
Aroma felt the copies of Yakko and Wakko grab her and throw her in the trash can. Warren tipped it on its side and placed a tight fitting lid on it.
"Change your mind yet?" Warren asked. "Are you gonna be my obedient little trophy? You know what'll happen. It can all end now."
From deep inside the can he heard a muffle and squirming but eventually. "...no."
"Why?" He yelled angrily as he shook the trash can. "Why are you being so stubborn?"
"...I pinky swore."
"Last pinky swearing you'll ever make." Warren stood back up and gestured to his copies. "For you." Warren looked at the landscape below and grinned. "Alright Aroma, say ta ta. But look at the bright side sweetheart." He grinned as his copies started to roll her down. "What toon ever gets to roll off the Hollywood sign, into their town's very heart huh?"
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"First my cast gets kidnapped, now this? Charges against Slappy Squirrel? The stunt double disappearing? Minerva Mink still missing?" Phil Porter grabbed his head. "Why didn't I listen to my father and become a lawyer?"
Bonk.
Phil Porter grabbed a Steven King book he kept nearby. It would make a fitting weapon if anyone bad was behind his door. "Who is it?" No answer. He neared the door and slowly opened it. When he looked down, he saw a trash can laying on its side. "What the (censored)?"
"Hey! Some courteousy in front of the gal, please?" Yakko grinned as he popped out from behind the can. "Hi Phil! Dropped off a package, just for you. Got a little message too for you." A small letter fell to the floor. "Bye!"
Phil looked stunned but picked up the letter. After reading it once, he went back inside, bolted his office door, and made a phone call.
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"Ice! Ice! Ice! How many times do I have to demand a little ice?" Thaddeus Plotz yelled as he sat his drink back down. He groaned as he got up and felt sand on his feet again. "Sand everywhere, I'm tired of it, it's always between my toes!" Since retirement he had been around the world, in so many places, trying to find a new spot to fit in.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find one. He heard skiing was fun but it was cold! And the climbing, so annoying. So he tried the beach, something he used to enjoy but doing nothing all day, he couldn't take it and there was grit in his sandals every day. He tried different countries he never visited, different sports he never tried.
In the end, he wasn't happy. Now he was just trying to find something in Burbank to enjoy. Why travel and spend vast amounts of money if he didn't even know what he liked yet?
RING RING
Thaddeus dug into his short pockets. He heard someone laugh at him as he walked by. With his figure, he wasn't exactly whistled at for being a hunk. He groaned and answered his phone. "Thaddeus Plotz here." Oh, that felt good to say again.
"Mr. Thaddeus Plotz, this is Chairman of the Board Phil Porter."
Thaddeus rubbed his face. Just what he wanted. "Impressive title, get on with it Phil. Your daddy didn't get you that job for nothing you know." He heard Phil's voice cough and clear itself on the phone. "What's going on?"
"How is retirement?"
"Dreadful."
"Want to come back?"
"Huh?" Thaddeus groaned. "Why? Are those insane Warner Brothers driving you crazy?"
"No, but the psychotic copy of them who, with more research, has actually murdered other cartoons and placed several in hospitals, is currently after me to stop the show. A copy of a Warner Brother just dropped off something in a trash can, and my life has just been threatened. So...I'm getting the first flight out. It's yours if you want it, and if you don't, then the studio's screwed. Bye."
"What?" Thaddeus heard the phone hang up. "Psycho copy? Something in a trash can? Threatening the studio? Agh!" He marched off and dialed up his old secretary's number. "This is Thaddeus Plotz, I need a car here! Now!"
After a quick refashioning, Plotz headed for his old office and adjusted his tie. The studio was ashambles, the works they were making were preposterous, and even this 'Animaniac Returns' abomination made him bury his head in the dirt.
This little stint was over, it was time to take back control.
"Alright, tell me what's been going on," Plotz said as he traveled with his former secretary.
"Sir, Slappy Squirrel has been arrested on account of murder and identity theft. Minerva Mink is still missing, but all the other cast members that had been kidnapped have returned. The Warners had been completely convicted of foul play and are to be placed in asylums in one year. Yakko Warner and Wakko Warner married Iridescent Therapy, AKA Arni, and Aroma Therapy, AKA Pleasure. They can't be held under their last name Therapy. Dot is currently in Burbank as well, taking it as her 'turn for the month'. Renraw is out and writing for the show. Warren has been found, and has been creating copies of the Warners that are responsible for kidnappings and other atrocities."
Plotz stopped in his tracks and took a quick glance at his secretary. Was no one capable of running the studio besides him? "Fine. First thing first, Former Chairman of the Board Phil Porter entered into a legal contract. Track his plane and have officers meet him when he is found. Calling me up in the middle of retirement and dragging all this on me is unforgivable!" Even if the retirement was awful. "Second, call up the bomb squad. There's no telling what some maniacal toon put into that trash can. Third, call the cartoon jail Slappy Squirrel is being held, I'll straighten that out. No need to drag the Warner Brothers name down further. Fourth, call up the Warners Judge. I demand an immediate session."
"Yes, sir, right away sir. Sir?"
"Yes?"
"Oh, you don't know how good it is to have you back sir."
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"Did you check-"
"I checked everywhere!" Yakko yelled at Wakko. "All over Burbank, all over every inch of every studio, she's not anywhere!"
RING RING
"I'll get it!" Wakko chirped. There was no competition for the phone this time. "Helloooo Nurse! Huh? Plotzy?"
"Plotzy!?"
"T.P!"
"No." Plotz groaned as the Warners and Therapy's arrived in his office, instead of speaking through the phone. "Do you always have to do that?"
"T.P., you don't know how screwed up this place was." Yakko patted him on the back. "Good to have you back!"
"I was calling for the Therapy's." Plotz' expression wasn't anger nor frustration as usual. "Aroma Therapy is being taken to the cartoon hospital." He looked over at Zenny. "She arrived in a trashcan at the front of the former chairman's office."
The room was silent. No bouncing, talking or even smiles were expressed as the information was absorbed.