A/N: hi guys I am so sorry for the delay of things and not updating in forever but it's not easy being a writer when you have anxiety and depression which causes writer's block and lack of motivation. I apologize deeply like I am so so so sorry I will try to make it up to you all. Thank you for being so patient and kind you guys are the best.
Love, Jamie.
Patrick's P.O.V.
It's been a few weeks since Jamie spoke to me, besides telling me what to do in warmups, in the workout room and during practice, she's been completely silent. Her black eye healed up pretty quickly though, she was smiling bright and being friendly with the guys, just last week Sharpy was showing her videos of his little girls. I just couldn't understand why she still hated me.
It was a cold, boring, game free night in Chicago, I pulled into Patrick Sharp's driveway for a dinner he and Abby were having just for the team. I walked up to the door and rang the door bell waiting for someone to answer, I slipped my hands into the pockets of my coat as the wind began to pick up.
It was really cold.
After a minute or two, Madelyn opened the door.
"Uncle Patrick! She exclaimed as she jumped into my arms.
"Hey Maddie." I smiled at her while carrying her into the house.
I walked into the kitchen to find Patrick and Abby along with Tazer and Lindsey, Nik and Elina, Seabs and Dana, Shawzy and Chaunette and Hossa and Jana laughing and helping the Sharp's help set up for dinner.
"Hey, sorry if I'm late." I announced myself with a smile as I set Madelyn down.
"You're right on time, Patrick," Abby smiled followed by a small chuckle. "Here, why don't you help my Patrick finish setting the table?" She gave me a stack of plates with napkins and silver wear.
That's the thing with the team and the wags, we're so close it's like we're practically family and it made us all happy.
I followed Sharp into the dining room and started to set the table with small talk here and there until I heard a voice that immediately made me want to leave.
"You have an awesome collection of My Little Ponies, Sadie." Jamie's soft voice rang in my ears.
I turned around and saw her walk down the stairs with Sadie by her side, she caught my gaze and glared slightly but she looked away before Patrick could notice.
"Who invited her?" I asked Sharp with my jaw clenched tightly.
"Abby did, she felt bad for her." Patrick shrugged.
"Jesus Christ, Sharp. Why is everyone so fucking obsessed with her?" I snapped at my teammate and best friend.
"Why are you?" Patrick retorted with a a glare.
Sharp had a point, as much as I hated to admit it he was right. This was a lot more than just getting Jamie in bed with me, I was beginning to develop feelings for her and it was scaring me.
"What's going on here?" Jonathan asked as he entered the dining room.
"Kaner's bitching about Jamie." Sharpy replied, anger dripping in his voice.
"I'm not bitching, I just want to know why everyone defends her." I say glaring at the two of them.
"Can we just get through this night without anyone getting into a fight?" Jonathan sighed.
Not only is he the captain of this team, he's also the problem solver.. Somewhat of a problem solver.
After the little spat I had with Sharpy the night continued on like it normally would, everyone joked, laughed, snorted wine out of their nose whenever someone said something stupid. Everyone was having a great time, I was having an okay time, it seemed like Jamie was having an even worse time.
She barely smiled at the jokes Shawzy made and she was constantly checking her phone, everyone assumed she was just waiting for a confirmation from her dad that he landed safely since he was a pilot but something was telling me she was waiting for something else.
"So Jamie, when do you plan on dating again?" Lindsey asked as she propped her chin on her hands.
Jamie shook her head with a small smile, I sat there while fiddling with the silver wear in front of me, I listened as my eyes looked to her since I was interested in her answer but I was also terrified.
"Probably not for a while." She answered honestly.
"Why not?" Asked Chaunette.
"I'm just gonna focus on my schoolwork and these guys." Jamie replied.
"Well, surely you're going to get lonely after a while." Dana laughed.
"I think it'll be worth the wait, all the good guys can't hide away forever." Jamie stated with a slight grin on her lips. "I really gotta get goin', it's getting late and I have school."
"Aww, can't you stay just a while longer?" Abby pouted.
"I wish but I can't, plus there's practice tomorrow." Jamie replied, giving the guys a look, including me. "Thanks for inviting me over, I really needed this."
"You are more than welcomed, Jamie. Come on I'll show you out." Abby smiled and got up from her seat.
Jamie and Abby disappeared from the dining room into the corridor leaving me to ponder in my thoughts.
She wants a good guy, eh? I can be a good guy, hell, I'm a great good guy.
"I'm really proud of you, Peeks." Jonathan's voice brought me out of my train of thoughts.
"What? Why?" I was confused as to why he was saying this.
"You went through the whole night without fighting or bickering with her." He said with a fatherly smile.
"Uh, thanks? I-I don't know how to respond to this." I laughed softly before the boys chimed in.
"No, really, you handled this night very well and I couldn't be happier."
"Okay Jonny, enough with the chick flick shit."
I didn't realize it as first but Jonathan was right, this was the first time we didn't want to strangle each other since she got here, it was kind of nice.
--------
It was a cold, quiet morning as I walked into the UC for today's morning skate, mostly everyone was here getting ready. I walked into the dressing room where I was greeted by nods and fist bumps from Hossa, Tazer and Crow, I quickly got into my training gear and went out to the ice to find the coaches and trainers going over some drills and plays for us today. Jamie was also there, she stood beside Mike and Q quietly observing what they were talking about, she would nod and say something short then go back to being quiet.
"You gonna try and ask her out again?" Brent chuckled as he examined his stick.
"I was thinking maybe after practice." I answered while keeping my eyes locked on Jamie.
"Well, good luck with that." Seabs tapped my back before he went out in the ice.
"Yeah, thanks."
I shook my head of my thoughts and followed everyone on the ice, we all gathered around Coach Q as he explained the drills he wanted us to do today. Of course, I wasn't paying much attention because I was looking at Jamie, there was a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach every time she would catch me looking at her, I tried to play it cool with a small, polite smile but she just gave me a disgusted look.
I get that I gave her a bad first impression when we met, but I changed, I didn't want to it kinda just happened. And I really wish she could see it like everyone else does.
"Okay, let's get Sharp and Kane working in the neutral zone." Coach Q instructed with his whistle blowing loudly.
The high pitch sound made me cringe out of my thoughts, I skated slowly toward the neutral zone and looked to Luke, our equipment manager.
"Can I get my other stick, please?" I asked politely.
Luke gave me a simple nod before he went searching through the wall of twigs right behind him, it took a few short minutes until he found but he had to send it on someone else since he was busy helping Rozival.
"Kane." Jamie's soft voice made me turn around so fast I almost created a tornado.
"Thank you." I smiled again at her as we swapped sticks.
"You're welcome." She replied with a nod.
My smile faded once I saw the emptiness in her eyes, the warm color in her face was pale and a purply bruise on her wrist.
"What happ-"
I couldn't finish my question because she pulled away quickly and skated back to the bench, leaving me confused as fuck. I knew something was going on weird with her, I couldn't figure it out and it was frustrating for two reasons.
Reason number one: Jamie can keep a secret until the end of time, that's one of the things I noticed that about Jamie after her breakup with Mason.
Reason number two: I couldn't figure out why I cared so much about this person who couldn't give two shits about me. It was pissing me off.
I carried on with my day like I normally would, went through some drills and plays, messed with during practice then went into the workout room where Jamie was absent. I went on my routine with Jonathan beside me, he was talking about some gym in Austin, Texas he and Duncs were going to next year but I couldn't pay attention because I was worried about Jamie.
I know right? Me, worried about a girl?
I want to make sure she's okay, I want her to know that I'm here for her.
Are you listening to yourself right now? Where the hell is Kaner and what did you do to him?
"Patrick? Are you even listening?" Jonathan nudged me with his elbow.
"Uh, yeah. I am." I say to him with a shrug.
"Then what was I talking about?"
I puffed up my lip as I tried to remembered what he said but it didn't come to me. I shook my head and exhaled.
"Sorry man, you lost me."
"Her again?" Jonathan gave me a concerned look since he knew why I zoned out eighty percent of the time.
"I can't stop.. Thinking about her, every day, every night, when I'm on a date. It's her on my mind and it's killing me inside because she doesn't care and honestly, it's my fault."
"It's not your fault, Peeks." Jonathan sighed and rubbed my shoulder. "You just got off on the wrong foot, I'm sure it's fixable."
"Every time I try to talk to her she ignores me, yells at me or humiliates me in front of everyone. It's not fixable." I sighed heavily and looked down to my feet.
It hurt a lot and what hurts even more is that everyone thinks I'm this playboy, chick magnet robot with no feelings. News flash people, I'm human too.
"Hey guys, sorry I'm late." Jamie's voice boomed in the room.
I looked up to find her working with Sharp, a perfect smile placed firmly on her lips, her dark, silky hair was in a high ponytail, the little hairs that framed her face stuck to her skin as small beads of sweat trickled down the side of her face. She looked amazing, it's like everything is fine with her.
"You're staring, Peeks." Jonathan said, bringing me out of my daze.
"Maybe drooling." Duncs added with a laugh.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head, ignoring the guys I continued to watch Jamie as she helped everyone in the room but me, I was obviously jealous and maybe a little upset but I couldn't do much about it since she wanted to set me on fire most of the time.
"Hey are you okay?" I hear Mike ask Jamie.
Jamie was doubled over clutching her side, wincing in pain.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just slipped on some ice last night and now my body is all sore. I'll be okay, no worries." Jamie grinned ear to ear with a nod.
She's lying.
------
Jonathan and I were done for the day, we were walking to our cars until we stopped when we saw Jamie, she was standing there looking down at her phone, Jonathan gave me a small nudge with his elbow as a little boost. I pushed back my hair and approached her with a toothy smile.
"Hey, Jamie."
"Kane." She looked up at me for a small second then went back to looking at her phone.
"Do you need a ride home or something? I can drop you off, It's not big deal." I offered to her in hopes she'll agree.
Jamie looked up again but this time her eyes were filled with terror, I drew my eyebrows in confusion then turned around to see Mason walking towards us.
"Practice is tomorrow at eleven am, Kane. Don't be late again or I'll have you working extra shifts, do you understand me, asshole?" Jamie's soft voice turned into anger out of nowhere.
I was beyond confused.
"What? Jamie what the hell-"
"Is this jerkoff bothering you, baby?" Mason glared as he held Jamie close.
What the fuck? Are they back together?
"I was just informing him about practice tomorrow, babe. Let's get out of here." Jamie tugged Mason toward his car.
I was immediately filled with anger, disgust, hurt, how could she go back to someone who broke her heart? Someone that betrayed her trust? She went back to this scum and treats me like garbage? I wasn't going to let them win, not this time.
"That's funny," I faked a chuckle. "I wish I would've known that you went back to this prick then maybe I wouldn't have wasted my time talking to you." I said to her with tears threatening to fall.
I didn't deserve to be treated like this.
Jamie's P.O.V.
I stood at the stove of mine and Mason's new apartment making mashed potatoes along with my mom's meatloaf, green beans and mac & cheese. Mason was in the living room watching something on the tv, he didn't seem upset which is a good thing and I was happy about that.
Mason and I got back together a couple of weeks ago because we still love each other, we talked about everything that happened and it was just a simple mistake, that's what makes us humans.
Stop lying to yourself, that's complete bullshit and you even know it.
"Mase, dinner's ready." I called to him as I plated up the food.
I set Mason's plate down at the table along with his favorite beer and waited.
"Smell's good." He kissed my temple softly.
I smiled at him then motioned for him to sit down before the food got cold, I say across from him and began to eat in silence.
"So I have to leave early for work tomorrow." I said, looking up at him.
"With that stupid hockey team?" Mason questioned.
"Yeah, Mason. When are you going to understand that that's my job?"
"When are you gonna understand that I don't give a fuck? I honestly don't think you should work there anymore."
"Why though? Why does it bother you so much that I work there? Do you still think that I'm screwing around with Kane?"
That's all he needed to hear and I've never regretted anything so much in my life.
"Are you? Because it seems to me that you're fucking around with him. I saw you today talking to him."
"He was asking about practice!" I lied, Kane didn't ask about practice I used that as a cover up.
"Bullshit Jamie!" Mason yelled and pushed his dish of food from the table to the floor. "Look what you did! Come and clean it up... Now."
Without hesitation I quickly knelt down by his side and started to clean up the food and the broken pieces of the dish.
"You're such an asshole, Mason. I don't even know why I came back to you."
Before I knew it Mason grabbed a fist full of my hair and slammed me against the wall, I squeezed my eyes and gasped in pain as he tightened his grip.
"What did you say?" Mason growled lowly.
"M-Mason I'm sorry... Please stop you're hurting me." I cried out to him.
"Next time you say some stupid shit like that I'm gonna kill you." He threatened and then slammed my head against the wall.
He leg go and disappeared leaving me alone and in pain, I pulled my knees to my chest and cried.
Still think it was a mistake?