"Good luck, Erin!" Charlotte gushed and gave me a final hug before she and Jennifer left. "I'll be cheering for you as soon as you sing your lines."
I laughed. "I don't have a lot of lines, actually," I said. "But I'd appreciate the effort."
"And now where's my boyfriend? I shall give him a final kiss before he publicly kisses that bitch onstage," she said and went away to look for Howard.
Jennifer smiled at me and patted my cheek. "Your makeup looks good!"
"Well, duh, you were the one who applied it," I said and we both laughed.
"Good luck for your performance, Erin. I'm sure you'd do a better job than Wendy," she said, grinning. "Show Mrs. Parker that you deserve the role for Kim!"
"To tell you the truth, I'm happy with my role," I said, which really surprised me. I used to be bothered that I never got the leading role, but being Ellen was pretty awesome too. "Wendy is a pretty good singer too."
She looked genuinely shocked. "Did you eat something? Why the sudden change of heart?"
I shrugged. "I just realized that we should grateful with whatever we have."
"Well, I guess, you're right," she said, smiling softly. "I'll go join Charlotte in the seats, okay? We're going to be in the third row and I'd be bringing the script. So if you forget one or two lines, just look at me. Understand?"
The thought made me laugh. I do memorize my lines, but I'm afraid when I'm going to face my audience, I'd just go blank and stay silent. "Thank you," I said between laughter. "I'll keep that in mind."
She gave me one last hug and then left. I was left in the backstage all alone while the other actors were busy fussing with their outfit. My hands were shaking as I sat down on my seat, waiting for the play to begin. Though I only have a major role, I only have a few scenes, compared to Wendy and Howard.
But this was going to be my first time acting onstage while a bunch of people would be staring at me, criticizing me. I closed my eyes and buried my head to my hands, trying to relax. Inside my head, I was singing my lines, hoping it would reassure me.
After a few minutes of staying like that, I felt a hand on my back. I looked up, opening my eyes. I saw Hugh, standing above me, a small smile on his face. "Hi," he said.
I allowed myself to smile just a little. This was the first time since he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was awkward, knowing that I have rejected him. "Hello," I replied. "What are you doing here?"
"Just wishing you a good luck," he said and sat down across me. "How are you feeling?"
A sigh escaped my lips and shrugged. "Nervous as hell."
"Well, you should see Wendy at the other room," Hugh chuckled. "You'd think she was in her period."
"She's playing the read role. You can't blame her."
"I guess I should go," he said and stood up.
He's still one of my closest friends so I was sad to see him go. "So soon?"
He grinned. "Your aunt and brother are outside. I think they're waiting for me to leave so that they would talk to you privately."
"Oh, okay. I'll see you after the play?"
"Sure," he said and bent down to kiss my cheek. It seemed like a friendly gesture.
He left and within minutes, Gina and Simon went in the backstage. Gina grinned widely when she saw me. "Aww, just look at you! Your parents would have been so proud!" she said and kissed me on both cheeks.
Simon laughed. "They are proud, wherever they are."
I nodded. "Simon's right. At last they're going to be happy, now that I'm fulfilling my dreams."
"Is this your costume?" she asked, pointing at my outfit. I was wearing a loose shirt and really small shorts, so it looked like I'm not wearing any shorts at all. "It's showing off a lot of skin. Plus, the blonde wig doesn't really suit you."
I rolled my eyes. "You should see Wendy and the girls who are playing the prostitutes," I told her. Then I patted my wig. "I know, right? I should just stay a black-haired girl. Blonde doesn't work for me."
"Josephine's coming, by the way, but she's going to be a little late," Simon informed me.
I suddenly felt butterflies in my stomach. That would mean Winston's coming with her. Now that I learned that he's going to come and see me sing, that made me ten times more nervous.
"Are you okay? You seem a little pale," Gina noticed, narrowing her eyes.
"I'm fine," I said dismissively. "Just nervous. That's normal, right?"
"Yeah," she said, nodding. "Well, I guess, I'd go now. I'll see you later, okay? And good luck, Erin!"
Simon gathered me into a tight hug. "Good luck, big sister. You're finally living in your dream."
I smiled at that. Trust Simon to say that.
***
"Your coming up next," Mrs. Parker said, grabbing my wrist and dragging me to the side of the stage.
My eyes went to the stage, where the students who were playing as the soldiers were singing The Morning of the Dragon. My heart suddenly started beating so fast and it almost kind of hurts. I looked at Mrs. Parker. "I think I can't do this," I muttered.
Mrs. Parker gave me an incredulous look. "What?! Erin, what the hell are you talking about?"
"I'm too nervous. This is going to be my first time..."
"Well, do you think it was easy for me when I first acted onstage?"
I blinked. "You were an actress?"
"A long time ago," she said, waving me away. "You can do this. I saw you act and you are unbelievable. Trust me, you're going to awesome."
The song ended and the lights closed, to give time changing the scenery. On the right side of the stage, Wendy was sitting all alone. On the left side, there was a bed and Howard was lying on it, pretending to be asleep. And might I just add that he was only wearing his boxers.
"Nice outfit," I whispered as I sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Oh shut up," he muttered.
I suppressed a smile. The lights went on, but only revealing Wendy, who started singing the starting song of I Still Believe.
"How are you feeling?" Howard murmured.
"You know, we shouldn't be communicating at all."
"Well, I think I have a good reason to since it's your first time acting."
"I'm nervous, obviously."
"Just pretend that nobody is here," he said and I nodded.
Wendy's voice trailed off and the lights went on in my side of the stage. I gulped as I saw the audience. At least two hundred people were here. I quickly searched for Winston.
"Last night, I watched you sleeping, once more the nightmare came. I heard you cry out something, a word that sounded like... a name..." I continued singing, still searching for Winston. I saw Jennifer and Charlotte sitting down on the third row, as they promised. Gina and Simon on the first row, as well as the other family members of the students who have major roles. Hugh was on the farthest right, and I can feel his eyes on mine.
But where was Winston?
And just like that, I saw him at the very back, standing. He was wearing a black bonnet and a black scarf, completely covering his face. He was still wearing his mask, though. And I could see his lips forming into a smile as we eyed each other. I suddenly felt less self-concious.
"I still believe, the time will come, when nothing keeps us apart. My heart, forever more, holds still..." I sang. Howard suddenly moved and cried out Kim's name. I reached for him and hugged him tightly. "It's all over, I'm here, there's nothing to fear. Chris, what's haunting you? Won't you let me inside what you so want to hide? I need you too!"
Wendy and I started singing together and when it was done, the audience clapped and cheered. I smiled as the lights went out. Howard even gave me a hug. "Wow, that was awesome, Erin!" he said, grinning widely.
"Really?" I whispered. "Wow... It feels... good."
"I know, right?" he said and the both of us walked to the side of the stage, where Mrs. Parker congratulated us, though the show wasn't over yet.
"You were incredible, Erin," she said and smiled at me. "See? It wasn't that hard. Are you ready for your next scene?"
I nodded, grinning. "Bring it on."
***
I waited for thirty minutes and then my next scene was already up. This time, it's between Wendy and I as we meet at Room 317 in the play. This was the part that I was going to say that I'm the wife of the man he loves. And of course, this was the part that I was going to find out my husband has a son from another woman.
"...my child has no future, like the dust of life. He must come tonight my place, tell me so to my face!" Wendy sang angrily and exits, leaving me behind.
I sat down on a seat and faced the audience. I could still see Winston standing at the back. Wouldn't he sit down?
"I don't want this, I didn't come here, to meet a girl, who loves my husband... I came here to help, but what do I do? Now after this, what do I..." my voice trailed off and I shook my head. "It's alright, it's alright, when you can just imagine, there's no face, she's not real, and you can tell yourself, it's okay..."
I continued singing, and I saw Winston raise his hand and gave me a thumbs-up. I know I'm not supposed to, but my lips gave away and I smiled a little bit. I couldn't help it. I just have to smile at that. Winston only grinned widely, seeing that he made me smile when I'm supposed to be all serious and sad.
Finally, my song came to an ending. Howard and Randy, the guy who's playing the role of John, returned. I'm starting to feel a little bit brave, now that I'm not that scared when I'm singing.
"We could not find her anywhere," Howard sang his line and looked at me. "Honey, what's wrong?"
"Kim was here, the one who had to tell her was me."
Oh yes, I'm not scared anymore.
***
When the play finished, we were called for the Curtain Roll. Randy, who was playing the role of John, bowed. After him, I walked to the stage and heard the people cheer for me. I grinned and then bowed. So this what it feels like when people cheer for you.
After me, Howard came and naturally, received a louder cheer than I did. He's one of the most important role. Then Wendy walked in and the whole auditiorioum cheered loudly for her. Some even stood up for her. She was smiling, but it didn't quite reached her eyes and she bowed. A pang of jealousy hit me, realizing I could have received that loud cheer if I only got the leading role. But I mentally shook my head. What was done, was done.
The curtain closed and everybody on the stage cheered. Mrs. Parker shouted that there's a party in the backstage and everybody was welcome. A lot of people I don't know congratulated me as I walked to the backstage and I thanked them. Without meaning to, I accidentally bumped to Wendy.
She looked up and I bit my lip. Whoops. "Sorry, I-I didn't see you over there," I apologized.
"Whatever," she muttered, rolling her eyes.
"Cheer up. You just had a loud cheer," I told her. "Aren't you happy that you finally got the chance to be Kim in Miss Saigon?"
"Who said I'm not happy?"
"Your facial expression."
She sighed. "It really gave away, huh?"
"What's bothering you, anyway?" I asked.
Wendy eyed me suspiciously, debating inside her mind whether to trust me or not. In the end, she gave out another sigh. "I guess I could tell you," she said and we started walking. "I told my parents that I have the leading role in the school play and they promised they would go. But I didn't see them in the audience."
So that explains the two empty seats on the first row. "Oh," I said quietly.
"They never have time for me," Wendy muttered. "Are you going to the party Mrs. Parker said?"
I nodded. "Aren't you?"
"No, I have to go somewhere else."
I frowned. "Where?"
"Home. I don't feel like I should celebrate," she replied.
"Don't let your parents put you down," I told her. "Join the party, Wendy. It's your play. You are the leading actress. What would Howard feel if you weren't there?"
She smiled a little bit. "Happy. I get the feeling he doesn't like me that much."
I was about to agree but then I realized that would be too rude. "Come on, let's just eat," I said and then we went inside the backstage.
"Congratulations, Erin!" Jennifer and Charlotte screamed in unison and threw me into a hug.
"You were super duper awesome!" Charlotte grinned.
"Thanks," I replied, smiling. I looked at my side, but Wendy was gone. I was about to call her, but then I realized that she might need some time alone.
"We didn't notice you were shaking," Jennifer continued. "It doesn't even look like you were nervous!"
"Erin!" I heard Gina say my name.
"Mom and Dad are so going to be proud," Simon said and tousled my hair.
I looked at him, frowning. "Don't do that."
"I heard there's a party," Gina said, her face brightening. "I'm in, I'm in!"
Gina walked away, maybe to just look for something to eat. Charlotte grabbed Howard, who was walking towards us, and then planted a big kiss on his lips. "And you! You are so awesome!" she said and hugged him.
"Did you see Josephine?" I asked Simon.
Simon nodded. "Yeah, but she left already. She had a guy with her. But I didn't particularly see his face."
"Oh," I said, crestfallen. That means I have to wait to go home to see Winston.
"What's the matter?" he asked, frowning.
"Nothing," I quickly said.
"Come on, let's eat," Jennifer said, grabbing my wrist.
I laughed and let her dragged me. "Okay, okay."
_____