When they tell you that the best part of your life will be university life, don't believe them... it's a lie.
When I started university, I had an image in my head: parties, alcohol, new people, hook-ups... pff, I barely even had time to wash my clothes regularly. Being an adult was hard as fuck.
On the good side of university life, though... you don't have to live with your parents if you don't want to. You no longer have to explain where you're going, with who, and what you'll be doing. To sum it up: you didn't have to lie anymore.
It's not that I lied to my parents... I didn't, per say, lie; I told half-truths and I only told them when whatever I was doing involved Kelly, my girlfriend.
Well, ex-girlfriend.
Anyway, as I was saying... I thought university life would be so much better than high school, I had my own place (actually my dad's but still...), I was single, I was getting invited to parties and people actually liked me. However, as it turns out, you can't have too much fun before your grades start reflecting your lack of attention and when you least expect it, you're buried deep with assignments you didn't even know you had to do and you're behind on your reading and your basket of dirty laundry isn't a basket anymore but a mountain of clothes.
I am so done with Uni and I just started it. Three months in and I'm already behind, how the hell does that even happen?
To be completely fair, when I started, I was convinced I could maintain a balance between my social life and education. I thought I could go out and party and keep my academic work spotless, many people do it so why couldn't I?
You can't because you're not used to it, Gio, my best friend, would say. And truth be told... I'm not used to it. During high school, I only went to like... four, five parties and although I've had alcohol before, I had never been drunk until Gio took me to my first Uni party.
And it was disastrous.
I threw up all over someone's front yard on my way home. Gio said the lady saw us and I guess she must've because she always glares whenever I walk by her house.
"Stop it." I'm abruptly brought back from my thoughts when Alexa's pen hits my arm.
I frown, turning to her. Alexa's frowning back at me. I roll my eyes.
"Why are you mad?" I look around my kitchen, trying to avoid her stare. Our books are all over the rounded table. Her books are well taken care of whilst mine looked like they had been to hell and back.
"I came to help you with your essay and you're daydreaming..." She groans again, grabbing her book about Velazquez. If we have to discuss Diego Velazquez and Las Meninas one more time... I'll lose it.
"This is boring!" I whine, dropping my head on the book in front of me. I don't know why I even chose History of Art. As a matter of fact, I don't know why I even picked any of the subjects I'm doing.
"Do you wanna fail?" Her tone is sharp but I know she means well. Alexa is actually pretty nice even though she tries to pretend she isn't. "Because if that's what you want—"
"I appreciate your help, don't get me wrong..." I sigh, resting my back against my chair so Alexa can see my face and see that I mean it. I bit my lower lip and fidget with my pen. "It's just— she hasn't text me back."
"Kelly?" Alex's raspy voice softens. I nod and watch her drop her shoulders. With a sigh, she drops her pen in-between the pages of her book, she scratches the back of her neck. "When did she last text you?"
"Last night. We were having an actual conversation but then she just— in the middle of it, she stopped?" I shake my head, sighing again. "Do you think I should text her? Maybe I should call her?"
"No." She simply says. I don't know why I'm expecting a little more than that. I don't know, perhaps a yes, you totally should! or I don't know, something other than just a no.
"Um, care to elaborate?"
Alexa shrugs and closes the book in front of her, "Because, Tyler, you shouldn't."
I nod, not really because I understood or agreed, but because I don't know what else to do or say. I watch pack her bag, taking all her belongings with her and I want to apologise for wasting her time but I can't bring myself to say anything.
"You're going to text her and it will make you look like you're the one missing her." She finally says after a while. "You're desperate, Iknow this but she doesn't have to know this."
"No, I'm not." I frown, my eyes met her honey-coloured eyes and I have to look away when she lifts an eyebrow with a knowing look. "It wouldn't come off as that— I don't think. I don't miss her. I mean, I do miss her, of course but— but you know what I mean?"
"No, I don't know what you mean." Alexa smirks, I roll my eyes at her sarcastic tone. Of course she knew what I meant, I practically talk about the situation I'm in with Kelly for hours on end. I'm a stupid broken record, even I'm tired of hearing it; I just wish I could stop talking about it. "I'm just giving you my opinion but maybe I'm wrong, who knows."
"Maybe you're right." I accept the cold truth and I sigh again.
Alexa sits back down and stares at me. She has her backpack over her lap and her eyebrows are slowly softening as she takes me in, as if she feels sorry for me. I look away from her because I can't stand that look.
"Maybe I should just... move on, right?"
"Yeah, I think so." Her hand comes into view, resting over my knee and squeezing a little. "Look, I don't know Kelly... all I know about her is what you've told me and well, she's not here, Tyler. She's gone and it isn't in her plans to come back, right? So why stay hung up on someone who's not coming back?"
I bite my lip and look from my lap to Alexa. Her brown skin is flawless even though there's a little pimple that's just breaking out. Sometimes I wish I had her skin.
"Maybe something happened? She fell asleep and forgot to reply?" I think out loud and judging by Alexa's body language, I should've kept my thoughts to myself.
"If you wanna text her, do it." Alexa sighs, dropping her hand from my knee.
"Maybe I should, just to make sure she's okay..." I quickly reach for my phone.
Hey! how you dooooing?
One minute goes by and I try to keep my leg from bouncing up and down. Was that awkward? I place my phone on the table. Alexa and I are both staring at it. Was that creepy? I place my elbows on the table and bring my hands together.
Two minutes go by.
Perhaps it was a weird text.
I regret sending the stupid text.
"I'm gonna go home, okay?" Alexa's voice startles me. She stands and half hugs me from behind. "I'll see you at class. If you need help, text me, okay?"
I nod. Not even bothering to see her out. It's not like she hasn't been here before, so...
I sit back and cross my arms over my chest, looking like a kid who just got told off. I should be writing essays, I should've been paying attention to Alexa but I can't find it in me to do anything other than think about Kelly.
It's pathetic, really, to think that I was doing fine before she texted me and now look at me...
Jesus, I was doing fine but then she sent that dumb ass text at like 1 am and I'm back to where I started, hanging off every word she said. Sometimes, I think she has some sort of power over me and whenever she feels like I'm starting to move on, she pops up with a Friends reference, or with a song she wants to show me, with a horny text or with an emotional one...
So, yeah, I was doing fine... I'm fine until she shows up and I'm not.
⚢
"B—But Gio," I whine as Giovanni, the man that was supposed to be my best friend, drags me to some stupid party. "What if she calls me!?"
Gio groans, letting go of my hand and turning around so fast that I almost collide with his chest. He's really tall. Or I'm really small, depends on who you ask...
His nose's slightly red due to the cold temperature and the fact that he's only wearing a hoodie, baffles me. His silver/bluish coloured hair is freshly trimmed and when his light brown eyes meet mine, I know he's going to tell me off. Like a young father who's had enough of his little kid being annoying and he was regretting that one time he told his girl 'I'll pull out.' Right then, he looks a little like his father, tall and rough but I know he's just like his mother, soft and caring.
"Gio, it's cold, I don't—"
"Enough is enough. Alexa told me you texted her this morning. If she didn't reply to you this morning, what makes you think she'll reply tonight?"
Because she always texts me at night. I want to say but that would only prove a point that he's made a few times already.
"Well, if you put it like that, it doesn't sound very convincing but— hear me out, Giovanni—"
"No, I'm not hearing you out. I'm not giving you your phone back, it's for your own good. End of discussion." Gio's smirk grows. I don't like the look on his face. "Oh, I am so getting laid tonight. I feel like I need it. Don't get me wrong, I love you but Tyler... this isn't healthy for you. There's this girl in one of my classes. She is so gay, I think you'd like her."
"How would you know?" I groan, a little annoyed. I don't want another girl. Not yet, at least, when something could still happen between Kelly and me.
"It takes one to know one." He jokes with the most diva-like tone I've ever heard in my entire life. I roll my eyes at his dramatics.
Gio's gay but not many people know it. He told his parents a week before university started and they didn't react well to it. Mostly his father who had always went out of his way to make sure Gio was the man-liest out of all the boys. As if Gio being manly would somehow push out the gay.
"Whatever, cock-sucker." I push him just so he knows I'm not really mad.
"Whatever, pussy-licker." He shoots back, slightly pushing me back and with that, we make our way to the stupid party.