(Eric's Pov)
I paced around my office room, panting heavily as my eyes were locked on the broken lamp. God, how I couldn't explain all the different emotions present in my mind. Inside of me.
The gift from God had returned in my life, but with two little miracles of our own. Our creation. My heart thumped as I thought back to my two children. One little girl and one little boy; both beautifully created by God.
My stomach churned and I felt a bile grow in my throat. Five years. It took me five fucking years for me to meet them. And it was all because of one selfish person. I scoffed as I thought back to her words.
"Y-You don't understand why I left, Eric."
I clenched my hands, sucking in my lips and grinding my teeth in anger.
"There's nothing to fucking understand." I growled, feeling my heart hurt. My head was thumping loudly with a headache and my heart seemed to be pulsing rapidly fast after the arrival of the three.
My knuckles were clenched into fist, all the anger and frustration from the situation, ready to be released. As if my mind loved messing with me, it began throwing flashes of her beautiful face. Her innocent, blue orbs, capturing my attention.
"Why, Lea? Why did you have to return?" I huffed out in frustration. At first, I wanted, I longed for her to return and maybe be sorry for leaving. But she may have said sorry, but I know she didn't regret her mistake.
She had excuses, 'reasons' of her own to as why she left me alone and that for five years. When she told me she left for her own sake, I couldn't quite comprehend how selfish she was. The only sense of sympathy I had for her, was when she brought up the mention of Janice and I's wedding.
She referred to me as the man she loved. I didn't know how to feel about that. It wasn't present tense, in fact, it was past. That meant...she no longer loved me? Or she didn't want to admit it?An odd feeling churned in my stomach, and I grew even more frustrated.
Women, they could be so confusing.
But that wasn't the point. The only thing that was important, was the fact she left five years ago and separated our children away from me. Just the thought of all the things I wasn't able to do for them, caused me to act out.
I brought out a clenched hand and pounded it on the wall. The pain was present, as well as the strange relaxed feeling I got from doing so. I breathed heavily, leaning my upper body against as I calmed down.
I felt my eyes sting with the unwelcoming tears which began to build.
"Why, Lea? Why?" I choked to myself.
"Why did you have to leave?" I whispered, my heart feeling as if it was being pinched.
A knock sounded on the door and I closed my eyes. Another light knock was sounded before the twisting of the doorknob was heard. I clenched my jaw, awaiting for the person to speak so I could recognize the voice of who it belonged to.
"Son," The familiar voice called. I sighed, staying in the same spot.
"Eric." He repeated, now using my name.
"Not now, dad." I managed to get out through gritted teeth. I got no response for a while, before I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder. I tensed.
"What are you doing, boy?" He questioned in disbelief. He tried spinning my body around, but I wouldn't budge. I had tears on my face and eyes full of sadness. I couldn't face him like this.
"I said; not now, dad." I grumbled, repeating my words. Another moment of silence lingered in the air and I was almost sure I had succeeded and he was contemplating on whether to leave - but my father wouldn't give up so easily. Using his strength, he spun me around, making me face him.
I hung my head down immediately, refusing to look at him in this state.
"Look at me, son." He raised his voice slightly. I shook my head, clenching my jaw and fixing my eyes on the ground.
"Eric." He lowly muttered, reaching out to tug my chin up as I faced him, forced by action. I pursed my lips, awaiting for him to mock me, make a joke out of how I wasn't a man. But instead he sighed, embracing me into a hug.
I stood frozen for a moment. Before I hung my head and wrapped my arms around him, feeling as if I were a little child that had lost a special toy to me, and here he was, comforting me about it.
But in reality, the situation was nothing alike.
Instead, here I was, hugging the man who helped give birth to me. My father, who I held such high respect for, yet could hate at times. The same man I thought was a rock around everyone, yet a pillow around my mother.
I was wrong, he was only soft as a pillow around the ones he loves.
I clutched onto him tighter, no longer caring about my pride as a man. This was a moment I needed. Someone, my father, to comfort me and tell me it wasn't my fault. No words needed.
"It hurts so bad, dad." I choked out. I got no response, only a comforting rub on my back. We stood silent for another minute, before he pulled back, tugging my head up at him.
"Wipe those tears, boy." He mumbled first. I did as I was told, reaching out to wipe the present shreds of water resting on my face. He hummed.
"Now, hear me out. What you're doing to yourself, isn't the right thing, son. I know you're angry and I know you're frustrated about the entire situation. You want to release your anger, but harming yourself isn't a choice." He told me. I furrowed my brows.
"It's bad enough you're mentally hurting." I heard him mumble to himself, an unsettling feeling sit in the pit of my stomach. He was referring to what I was labelled as - depressed.
"Look at these." He motioned to his hands. He placed his hands out in-front of him, clenching and unclenching them. Scars and old scabs were present on the top of his hands. I hissed, just imagining the pain which came with them.
"These, these are from back in the day when I was a young man like yourself." He chuckled, punching my arm. I rolled my eyes, grinning lightly.
"And, you know who it worries the most?" He questioned, eyeing me.
"You?" I answered in confusion. He shook his head, his lips growing into a small smile.
"Wrong. It's your mother." He told me.
"What's the point? That Ma's going to worry about me?" I asked him, losing track with where this conversation was going. He chuckled, shaking his head.
"Of course your mother will grow concern, but I'm not talking about her. I'm talking about someone else. The woman who truly loves you." He trailed off, and I didn't need any clarification of who he was speaking of. My jaw clenched and I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off.
"If you're angry, son, go out to the gym and box it all out. Don't physically harm yourself." He firmly told me. I nodded, straightening out my hair.
"And, please, do tell me why you were crying." He arched a brow, yet not in a judgmental way, more curious.
"Lea." I managed to whisper after a few seconds of silence. He hummed, nodding to himself.
"I figured. What made you cry?" He continued to ask, his tone surprisingly soft.
"It doesn't matter." I flatly replied. His lips curled into a smirk and he shook his head.
"You're funny if you think that'd make me give up that easily. Now, I'll ask again; what about her, made you cry?" He pressed. I opened my mouth to wave him off, but pursed my lips, instead speaking my mind.
"I'm angry, alright? She left for five years and suddenly reappears, thinking I won't be mad for not being able to see my children, let alone meet. What gets me even more mad, is the fact she isn't truly sorry. She says she is, yet there's always a 'but' to her apology." I grumbled.
"And I just..." I trailed.
"You just?" My father preyed. I sighed, looking him in the eyes.
"I can't forgive her for it, dad." I finished. A look of disappointment crossed his eyes, before he simply nodded.
"If that's what you think. But, son, I know you too well. I know that deep down you're hurting and not only for the reason you weren't able to meet your children, no. I know that you're hurting because a part of you misses her, will always miss her." He told me.
I shook my head, refusing to accept his words.
"Well, you're wrong, dad." I lied and I knew he could tell too.
---
After our father and son conversation, we sat shook off our problems that were occurring around us. My father went back to treating me the same and I couldn't help but smile at that.
We sat down in my office and discussed work, him helping me with some errands and I just simply looking over how the businesses were doing. When we had finished, we made our way downstairs, where everyone else was.
I followed down the steps, watching my father's head bob up and down. I held in a grin, inwardly finding it funny. His head just looked funny.
"Stop watching my head, son. Unless you want me to pop those eyes of yours out." He nonchalantly spoke. My eyes widened and I snapped my eyes away from the back of his head, knowing for sure, he was wearing a proud smirk.
I rolled my eyes and skipped the last step, walking behind him as he entered the living room. My eyes met with the sight of my little princess, wearing a tissue paper crown on her head, red lipstick smeared across her lips, heels on her feet and a baggy dress over her clothes.
"Daddy!" She screamed when her eyes darted to me. I couldn't help but feel a sense of...I wasn't sure what it was, but seemed like...happiness, welcome me.
Something I hadn't felt for a long time.
"Princess." I smiled, scooping her up in my arms. She let out a shy giggle, smiling at me. I grinned, pecking her on the cheek.
"What happened to you?" I asked in disbelief, wiping the corners of her lips which were painted red with lipstick. She giggled.
"I'm a model, daddy!" She whispered as if it were top secret. I faked surprise, feeling eyes move onto me. Hesitantly, I looked in the direction, meeting eyes with the beautiful, blue orbs. On her plump lips, she wore a smile, faltering as she looked away from me.
"Dad!" I heard the familiar voice yell. I looked down at my son, plastering on a smile. I leaned down and scooped him up and into my arms, earning a boyish giggle to erupt from him. I could feel the eyes of my parents on me. As well as hers.
"Well, your mother and I will be on our way. We have to head home." My father told me. He took the two little ones from my arms and into his. I looked at mother, who was wearing a frown.
"But, can't we stay a little while longer?!" She whined like a child. My father shook his head, smirking at her. I rolled my eyes at their childish behaviour. I heard a small angelic laughter in the distance. My eyes flickered to her, pausing for a moment to witness the beautiful smile on her lips.
"No, we have work to do." He told her, causing her to roll her eyes. I sighed, looking down at my two children who were also watching in amusement.
"I'll see you later. You two, we'll be taking you out soon." My father pinched their cheeks, earning smiles. He nodded at Lea, before doing the same with me. My mother kissed the two on their heads and went to embrace Lea in a hug. I watched with the twins.
She mumbled something to her, earning a small smile. My mother walked over to me, embracing me in a tight hug. I smiled, hugging her back and kissing the top of her head. She kissed my cheek, smiling at me sadly, before walking out with my father.
I breathed out a sigh when hearing the sound of the door closing. I looked down at the twins, who were already looking up at me.
"What do you guys want to do?" I questioned and Sophia giggled.
"A fashion show!"
And so it was set. Where Lea sat on the ground, lent against the sofa, I went to join her, my knees bruising against her. I could feel her watching me, but when I turned to look at her, she looked away.
Sophia began strutting down the center of the living room, doing silly poses and girly kisses at us. I chuckled, a genuine laugh emitting from my lips. I even heard Lea giggle a few times. Drew sat down in her lap, returning with a piece of paper in his hand.
"This is for you, dad." He handed me the card. I arched a brow, taking it from him. I felt her eyes on me again and this time, ours met, she let it hold. Something about the way she looked down at the letter in my hand, made me think it was important. I nodded at her, with a straight facial expression.
Our gaze broke again and we went back to cheering Sophia on, her brother here now as well. And as almost the perfect the situation seemed, I realized someone was missing.
"Where's Janice?" I questioned her in a monotone. I noticed the emotion of hurt flash across her eyes, but she played it off.
"She went out to visit her friend, she told me to tell you. Sorry if it worried you, it just slipped from my mind." She quietly said. I didn't reply, inwardly feeling a little relieved that Janice was gone. She could get so irritating.
After that, we went back to watching Sophia model for us.
In silence.
And it made me wonder...
Would it always be like this?
•••••
(AN) Hey guys, yes I know, terrible way to end this chapter - but I didn't know when to stop. So, did you guys like the chapter? This is just written to show you how Eric feels and his different emotions. Next chapter is Lea's Pov, it'll be their first proper morning back as a household. Anyways, what did you think? Also, thank you babies for all the reads!
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