"Are you okay, babe?"
"Yeah... I'm okay. It's your birthday. Go ahead and enjoy the party, love."
"Baby, why you lie to me? Your anxiety is troubling you again?"
"No... I don't want your life to stop because of me."
- - -
Day 16
Party
You were always scared of them. What made you come today?
It didn't use to be your scene. Smell of sweat, too much crowd and alcohol made you nauseous. You felt claustrophobic. Sometimes I kind of blamed myself whenever you had a breakdown.
Your texts yesterday ignited something inside me. I don't know what to think anymore. Was it me or you? I'm tired of it.
You're hiding something from me. I hate it. I can feel it in your voice.
So I came here, to this party for distraction.
But...no, you just can't leave me alone, can you?
What happened to my Alisha?
The girl I love?
Why is she wearing this mask?
She won't ever dress up in the black clingy dress that you're wearing. She won't dance like that on middle of dance floor. She won't drink that much to loose her control.
But you did.
"C'mon let's get out of here. You're wasted." I tried to drag you off the dance floor.
"Alex... I..." you clinged to my arm and tried to say something.
"You're drunk Alisha, don't say anything." I warned you, because drunk mind speaks sober thoughts, and I wasn't ready for your blatant confessions.
"No wait please. Let me say this. Please I need to..." you gave me that puppy eyes, I always fall for.
And alcohol in my system wasn't helping either.
"I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I'm doing. Where I am going? I feel so lost. I...just don't know what will happen and it sucks because I don't want our future to be clouded by my darkness so I ended us. Please forgive me baby, I'm so so so sorry."
I was speechless and confused. You say you love me, then why your actions spoke louder than your words in past few days? What is the darkness you're talking about?
Before I could ask you anything, you were already falling in my arms mumbing, "take me home."
- - -
Dedicated to Deethewriter bc it was her b'day yesterday and her book makes me cry 😭 and she writes super awesome ❤