(Lea's Pov)
I was restless. A mess as I lay in bed, my mind never once turning off. It had happened, the inevitable, had happened.
I let out a shaky breath, turning on my side, so I wasn't facing my two children and instead, a wall. Happy, was the perfect word to describe them. Both brightly smiling whilst they got ready for bed. Both non-stop talking about their father.
The corner of my lips curved into a half-smile, before it dropped back into a emotionless straight line. Although they were happy, I couldn't find myself to say the same.
"I'll never forgive you."
His words, so cold, so cruel, so distant, so pained - replaying in my mind like a broken record. I closed my eyes tightly, inhaling a deep breath. I still couldn't comprehend this had all happened.
One thousand, eighty hundred and twenty five days - 1825. A big number. It had been that many days, since I had faced him. So many days, so many weeks, months and years. And it all resulted with him hating me.
My throat churned and my heart sunk as I continued to remember his face and all the words which had left his soft, pink lips. I felt a tear fall from eye and land on the pillow, staining it with a light water patch.
I sniffled, reaching out to wipe off the tears. I pushed the comforter off of me and sat up, peering down at my children who were in deep sleep.
"I'm doing this for you. Only for you two." I whispered to them. I swallowed the unwelcoming gulp in my throat, and pushed myself up from the bed. I slipped on my slippers and dragged a hand across my face, getting rid of any tear stains.
I shook my head, ruffling a hand through my hair before tying it up into a loose ponytail. I sighed, leaning against the wall.
I was nowhere near tired. After everything that had happened today, I wasn't close to being tired. I bit down on my bottom lip, contemplating on what to do. I could either go back into bed and try my hardest to fall asleep, or go downstairs for a glass of warm milk or water.
After mentally thinking over my options, I went for the second one. I could do with a glass of milk or water, especially since my throat was quite dry. I quietly bounced down the stairs, making sure not to wake anyone up. After all, I was a guest at this house.
I shook off my thoughts, feeling uneasy.
I definitely could do with a glass of water.
I stepped into the kitchen, only to find the lights on, yet nobody inside. I frowned, furrowing my brows as my eyes grazed over the room, looking for anybody, somebody. I shrugged it off and made my way over to the fridge.
I took out a glass from the cabinet, trying not to roll my eyes at the box of 'Fine China' at the near back. I rinsed the glass, before pouring some milk in it, clumsily missing some and causing it to land on the floor.
"Shoot." I mumbled to myself, quickly clamping the lid over the milk carton and putting it back inside the fridge. I looked around the kitchen for the tissue roll and tore off two sheets when I found it.
It was when I stepped back and accidentally slipped on the small milk puddle, I suddenly lost balance and gripped onto anything, closing my eyes and awaiting my fall. My heart jumped when the familiar feeling of his muscular arms, welcomed me in his embrace.
My heart was thumping at an uncontrollable speed. My chest pushed up against his and my hands clutched his hard bicep, the other flat out on the counter. It was silent, the only sound to be heard was our breathing.
I daringly fluttered my eyes open and was met with the sight of his powerful, hazel orbs. I opened my mouth to speak, but slammed it shut and sighed.
"T-Thank you." I got out, my eyes meeting with his. It looked as if he had snapped out of his thoughts and quickly pulled away, making me stumble to find my balance. My brows furrowed and I opened my mouth to speak about his sudden strange behaviour.
He turned his back, so it was facing me. The familiar pinch at my heart occurred, making me frown in sadness. The air once again grew thick with silence. I turned around, and picked up my glass of milk. I brought it up to my lips and took a large gulp, ignoring my plan of warming it.
My eyes flickered to my left, seeing if he was still standing there. Which he was, only his back was no longer facing me and his dark eyes were locked on me. I licked my lips, getting rid of any milk on my lips and broke our gaze, when noticing his eyes follow my every movement.
A tingle went off in my stomach. He was making me nervous.
"Why are you here?" His voice was distant and no louder than a mumble. I sighed, closing my eyes, not wanting to repeat the argument which occurred earlier, again.
"I've already told you. I-I'm here for my - our children's sake. They wanted to meet their father, so...I did what I had to. Which was return here." I told him, softly and gentle as possible. With the new found information of him hating me, I didn't want it to grow.
A dragged out sigh left his lips and his emotionless eyes looked at me.
"Why are you here? Downstairs?" He muttered, his jaw clenching absently. I felt a flush of embarrassment grow onto my cheeks and travel down my neck.
"Oh. I was thinking and just couldn't sleep." I whispered, taking another large gulp of the milk. His darkened eyes followed my every movement and when our eyes met, he looked away. I suddenly felt a wave of guilt and sympathy cloud over me.
Imagine being Eric, I told myself. He once told me I was the only woman he had grown feelings for and I walked away from him, carrying his children. He never once met them in his entire life, until I finally chose to meet him again after five years.
I, too, would feel pained and betrayed if the same had happened to me.
"Why are you here?" I cleared my throat, asking him as I shook off my guilty thoughts.
"I had to make a call." He grumbled, licking his lips. I nodded, sipping the last of my milk.
"Are they asleep?" He questioned, lowly. I smiled lightly, nodding my head at him.
"They couldn't stop speaking about you. They already love you." I chuckled. I watched his eyes light up and a wave of emotion cross his eyes, before they flashed back to their darkened state. And suddenly, I felt the urge to speak. To explain myself, since I didn't have a chance to earlier.
"Eric I..." I trailed off nervously, suddenly finding myself lost for words. His motionless eyes were locked on me, following and awaiting my words.
"Do you hate me?" I choked out, my eyes eagerly watching him. His brow arched and he opened his mouth to speak, before closing it shut.
"It doesn't matter." His response was flat and I suddenly felt a little frustrated.
"It does matter, Eric. I don't want you to hate me. I...I'm sorry I left with our children, but you don't understand where I'm coming from. Y-You don't understand why I left." I cried out to him. He shook his head, his jaw clenching.
"I have no reason to understand! What you did was completely selfish, Lea. You never once thought about me and you waited five fucking years before you decided it was time for our children to meet me." He spat.
I felt a crack go off in my heart.
I shook my head, feeling tears prick in my eyes.
"That's what I'm trying to say. I left because I was eighteen, just a month away from being nineteen and I was pregnant! I watched the love of my life marry another woman, the people who gave me birth, disown me! And I was afraid of losing them! Imagine being in my place for a single day." My voice cracked.
A wave of emotion, which looked like sympathy, flashed across his eyes before vanishing into dullness.
"You were afraid of losing them? Who do you think I am? Do you honestly think I'd take our children away from you? Just like you did." He muttered at the end. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I sighed.
"I'd never think that low of you! I was just afraid of loosing someone else." I tried to explain. He chuckled, humorlessly.
"Well, you lost me." He whispered and the pinch tugged on my heart.
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry you feel that way." I whispered. He scoffed, suddenly making me grow frustrated.
"I'm also sorry, that you'll never understand what I was going through and what I felt. I'm not the one being selfish here, if anything, it's you!" I spat. His jaw clenched in anger and his eyes darkened. He took a step towards me and suddenly, I felt fear overcome me.
I took one step back, slowly trailing myself to the wall. His eyes never once left mine as he pressed himself against me, whilst he peered down at me. And suddenly, I felt the flashback from my past welcome itself in my mind.
The image of myself, small and on lower level than my father, who stood tall and angry with his jaw clenched, peering down at me. The familiar emotion fear, welcomed itself into my body.
It was all a sense of Deja Vu.
I was corned up against the wall, in this position because of a stupid argument or something I did by accident, which angered my father greatly. I closed my eyes, awaiting to be hit on the face. A slap, a punch - I was waiting for it.
Yet, I felt....nothing.
So, I took a risk and opened my eyes. His eyes were heavy with emotions, like anger and frustration as he looked down at me.
"Don't you dare call me selfish, Lea. You don't know half of it." He spat through gritted teeth. I panted, my hands flying up to cover myself from him. My heart was thumping rapidly, I could even hear it echo in my ears.
"And you must really not know me, if you'd think I'd stoop as low as to hitting you." He lowly said and pulled back a little. My eyes widened and my mouth parted. I let my hands drop, no longer shielding me.
His eyes held pain, hurt and another emotion I couldn't place.
"I...I'm sorry...I know you'd never -"
"- Yeah, I'm sure you know. That's why I clearly saw the fear in your eyes, your breaths suddenly picking up and you...you shielding yourself from me." He paused, eyeing me up and down. A small, lifeless smile sprung onto his lips and he clicked his tongue, shaking his head at me.
"Wow, and boy am I wrong. Here I thought, you lost me. But truth is, you never had me. If your mind could think so low of me - I guess you never knew me." He muttered. I shook my head rapidly, feeling tears of different emotions prick at my eyes.
"Don't say that, Eric. Don't -"
"- Enough, Lea. I don't want to hear it. I've seen it all." He mumbled.
"I'm going to set some ground rules. You stay in this house and we'll act normal in-front of our children. I don't want them to hear or see anything bad." He cleared his throat. I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
"Eric..." I called.
"And I don't want to speak about the past, because...it's the past."
"E-Eric," I called out again.
"We'll only speak if needed." He said it all in a monotone.
"Eric." I whispered. His motionless eyes locked on mine once again before he shook his head.
"Just for the record, I'd never hurt you, Lea." He sincerely said.
"Not like you hurt me." He whispered lastly, before exiting the room. I stood silently, letting his words sink in. Everything which had just happened, all his words and his pained expression, flashed across my mind. And...I broke.
The tears began rolling down my cheeks as a low sob left my lips. I slowly sunk down onto the floor, my back sliding down against it.
"Eric," I cried out.
"I'm sorry." I hiccuped out.
"I'm so sorry." I repeated to myself. I cradled my head in my lap and let the tears continue to flow down my cheeks. Once again, my heart was cracked.
Just steps away from being broken, all over again.
_
(Narrator's Pov)
She silently stood, watching everything going on with a wicked smirk playing on her lips.
"Perfect." She whispered, watching as Eric mumbled something to Lea, causing her to still and her mouth to part in shock. She quickly hid herself from Eric as he left the room. He walked past her, not recognizing the presence of her lurking.
She let a breath of relief and smirked. She peered over the door's frame, to find the figure on the ground, weeping quietly. A layer of relief grew in her stomach.
No doubt there was a part of her which was afraid of losing Eric. Even though it had pained for her to know, she knew Eric was still so deeply in-love with Lea. Who knew what his reaction would be when he saw Lea after so long? Janice was afraid, afraid of losing the man she loved.
Yet, he didn't share the same feelings.
Her smirk grew as she saw the pained Lea on the ground, crying for forgiveness from Eric.
"Good, Lea. This is what you deserve." She muttered to herself.
"I won't let you return and try take him again, no. I'll do whatever it takes to make Eric resent you so bad, he won't love you. I'll fill nothing but pure hatred in his mind for you. I'll make you wish you never returned." She spoke.
"I won't let you win, Lea." She whispered.
"I won't let you."
And so once again, the devil had stepped outside of its shadow and was ready to reveal itself yet again.
Janice was ready ready to strike - once again.
•••••
(AN) Hey guys! I enjoyed writing this chapter, did you enjoy reading it? I had it written out differently, but I thought nope, so I took it out and put in my draft book for ideas. I'll probably use that chapter later, it was to soon for it to happen. Anyways, thoughts?
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