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"One of the hardest parts of life is deciding whether to walk away or try harder"
~QuotesGram
Connor
A mesmeric Saturday evening, my legs stretched in front of me, my back resting the bark of a tree, my hands running through her hair, sliding down the small of her back and caressing her ivory, soft skin.
I feel her beautiful, flowing jet-black hair falling all over my face, her legs tightly wrapped around my waist, her hands forcefully gripping the back of my head and our lips devouring one another passionately.
I pulled away to take a deep breath in. Staring straight into Kimberly's stunning brown eyes, I tucked her hair behind her ears. Lovingly, I kissed her forehead, her hands hugging me in response.
"We shouldn't be doing this in your backyard" she whispered in my ear.
I chuckled, kissing her hair and then her eyes, then her cheeks and her jaw, grazing my lips down her neckline and slightly biting her shoulder.
"Con!" she slapped my hand playfully.
"What?" I looked up at her, stroking her soft cheeks with the back of my hand "No one will find us here"
All of a sudden, we heard someone clear their throat.
Both our heads snapped towards the direction of my backdoor. Upfront stood the towering Caleb; staring down at us and blushing. Kimberly and I bashfully backed away from one another.
"Did I interrupt something?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Hell yes you did!" I snapped "You should've at least warned us!"
"I did!" he yelled back "But you two were busy sucking the life out of eachother!"
"What do you want, Caleb?"
Kim and I stood up and dusted soot and grass off of our clothes, while Caleb just gazed down at his feet.
"What do you want?" I repeated the question, a little harshly this time.
"I...uhh..." he bit his lower lip, glancing into emptiness. He was acting really weird all of a sudden, as if the next few words might be the death of him. He ran his left hand through his hair and gulped "Umm...I...kinda want...Gina...back..."
His eyes met mine; guiltiness written all over his grass-green orbs.
"What?" I giggled, baffled by his statement "No way, she's never going to forgive you"
My reaction must've hurt him because he now had his head lowered. I immediately felt bad for giggling.
I started to say sorry to him but Kim cut me off "Cal...it's okay. You can go upto her and apologize. She might forgive you"
"But, what if she doesn't?" he asked in the most soft and heart-aching voice.
"What happened to you all of a sudden?" I strolled upto him "Why are you suddenly reminded of Gina?"
His eyes snapped up and he gave me a death glare "I wasn't reminded of her 'suddenly'! I have been thinking about her constantly since we broke up"
Kim and I merely stared at him. Wasn't he the one to dump Gina? And now here he was saying he has been 'thinking about her constantly'
Maybe I'll never understand Caleb.
I ambled upto him, sliding my hands into my jeans pockets "You're acting stupid, Cal. She's not going to accept your apology. You've already hurt her too much. And by the way, you're the first person, I have met, who dumps a girl with her bestfriend and now wants to get back with her"
His eyes squinted, an annoyed expression invading his features. Then, he raised his voice "Remember, I wasn't the one who broke up with her because I liked her. Someone named 'Connor' called her up and told Gina that I was making out with someone else!"
"I said that because Gina needed to know!"
"Guys!" Kimberly stepped between us "Don't start fighting again! I've seen too much of it already! And Connor, I don't think giving this apology a shot is gonna hurt. One doesn't fail until he quits trying"
"Well said" Caleb nodded.
Trying wasn't a bad idea but little did they know that amongst the three of us, I was the only one to be there for Gina when she broke down. I knew exactly how depressed and angry Caleb made her. But what I didn't know was if she still loved Caleb the same. If she did, then Caleb was lucky. If she didn't, then he'd better watch his back.
"Fine" I exhaled "But don't expect that she'll forgive or you'll end up breaking your heart"
**********
Caleb
My feet remained rooted on Gina's porch. The door of her house stood soaring upfront and I was suddenly shivering from head-to-toe just by looking at it.
I turned my head towards the left to see my brother and his girlfriend hiding by the bushes. Con still had a dubious expression on while Kim had 'motivation' written all over her face.
"Go" Kimberly whispered, gesturing towards the door.
I sighed for the millionth time and dragged my legs towards her house, and then, I rang the bell.
There were a few seconds of silence before I heard a muffled voice of Gina from behind the door "I'll get the door, mom!"
My heart launched upto my throat; my fingers trembled and my teeth chattered.
Cal, calm down. What's making you so scared? You're supposed to be the bad boy who doesn't give a shit.
Seemed like being a bad boy wasn't helping me out in this situation. I was about to face the-girl-I-cheated-on-with-her-bestie. What could go wrong?
The door budged open, slowly and steadily being pulled behind until I was finally staring straight into Gina's eyes.
Her facade was expressionless.
"Hey Cal" she smiled "Can I help you?"
Her smile soothed me. Maybe she wasn't that mad at me.
"Umm...uhh...I..." I struggled with the words. Somehow the girl, who stood in front of me, managed to send vibrations down the entire length of my body. It was funny how she had the same effect on me even after so many weeks.
Immediately, I was consumed with guilt again and I just had to apologise for the bad things I did to her without worrying if she'd forgive me.
"Gina...I'm..." I swallowed "Look I just...I wanted to apologise...for cheating on you. I'm sorry"
Her eyes slightly widened and she scanned my face with shock.
"Are you kidding me?" she blurted out "After all that you've done, you still think that you can just walk upto me one fine afternoon and say 'sorry' and expect me to forgive you?"
Her words felt like bullets. She was angrier than I had anticipated.
"Gina, I-"
"Shut up!" she yelled on my face "Are you even hearing yourself right now, Caleb? You sound like an idiot! We are not going to drag this conversation any further and if there is anything you wanna discuss except the 'apology-thingy' then you can continue talking to me or just walk away"
I gazed down at her, speechless. Just a few months ago I had so much power over her, so much control over her and now here she stood pretty much yelling at me like I was a no-one.
But in my heart, I knew I was at fault.
"Anything else?" she smirked "No? Okay, bye!" and she slammed the door on my face.
What the hell just happened? I was still trying to process the reality when Kim shook me away from my thoughts.
"Don't give up!" she whispered "Ring the bell again!"
Connor and I shot her petrified glances.
"Trust me..." she smiled at us "I know more about girls than you guys"
So, I rang the bell again. Twice this time.
I heard her mom's stifled voice calling for Gina "Gina, you didn't get the door yet, honey!"
"I did mom!" she called back.
Her mom said something back but it was inaudible and then Gina was at the door again, staring at me with fire in her eyes.
"Walk away, Caleb!" she half-yelled, gritting her teeth.
"Gina, please hear me out" I begged "I'm sorry; I'll get you anything you want!"
"I don't fucking want anything from you!" and then she bolted the door again.
"Ring the bell again!" Kimberly coaxed from the left. Connor had his head on her shoulder and was trying to control his laughter, wiping his tears of hilarity.
And, I rang the bell again.
This time her mom's voice was pretty harsh, almost as if she was yelling. The door was pulled open with force. Gina stood there again and this time she was genuinely pissed off.
"You're not gonna obey me so easily, are you?" she narrowed her eyes at me "What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Just that I'm sorry..." I lowered my voice and tried to sound as soft as possible "Please forgive me for everything that I did to you. You were always so loyal and amazing Gina, I took advantage of you and I shouldn't have done that"
"You think your 'charm' is working on me?" she raised her eyebrows.
"Gina, I'm truthful" I pursed my lips "I feel...I feel horrible for my actions. Please forgive me. I'll do anything you want"
"Like what?" she challenged, crossing her arms.
"I'll buy you that burger you really love" I grinned.
"What else?" she scoffed.
I could see where this was going "Remember you once told me that your favourite dating location was having dinner besides a lake, alone? I'll do that for ya"
She merely stared and what she said next took me back by surprise "Are you trying to get back with me?" she asked, dumbfounded "Is it because you just broke up with Princess Harley and you can't find anybody else to hook up with? Is this what it is about?"
Fire.
Guilt.
Heartache.
All at once...and it hurt.
Was I like some kind of man whore in front of her, or what?
"I still like you, Caleb" she smiled though her sad look "I trusted you but you tore me apart. I'm not sure if you really meant it when you apologised but...I don't think I have the capability of trusting you again"
"I'm sorry" she whispered and shut the door.
Kimberly didn't ask me to ring the bell again.
**********
It was 11pm and I lay on my bed, attempting my best to fall asleep. But what she said this afternoon still haunted me.
"Is it because you just broke up with Princess Harley and you can't find anybody else to hook up with?"
I stared straight at the ceiling. Is this what she thought about me? Is this what I had become in front of her eyes?
I couldn't seem to stop thinking about her, her voice persistently rang in my ears. What was she doing to me? Why did it hurt so much?
"You think your 'charm' is working on me?"
"I don't think I have the capability of trusting you again"
"You tore me apart"
I twisted and twirled on my bed. I couldn't sleep. Maybe it was because I was unsatisfied. My mind couldn't rest. My body ached for relaxation but I just couldn't get her out of my mind.
I needed to settle this.
I sat straight up on my bed and grabbed my cell phone from the side table. My thumbs quivered as I located Gina in my contact list and with all the mettle that I was left with - I called her.
I bit my lip as I lifted the phone upto my ears "Please answer...please answer...please answer..." I chanted.
My call was answered.
I took a deep breath in as her beautiful voice reached me "What do you want, Caleb?"
Her voice was fresh and husky; that means she wasn't sleeping either.
"Gina..." I breathed "I can't sleep"
"So do you want me to come over and sing you lullabies?"
That intense wave of emotions was striking again - that powerful ache and misery. I was on the verge of crying but I swallowed the feelings in.
I missed her so much.
"No..." I giggled, hiding my pain "...I want forgiveness"
She didn't respond to that.
I continued "I'm stupid Gina. I made a mess out of my brother's life and yours. Gina, I really need you. I'm a chaos of idiocy. Give me one more chance, please"
I inhaled and let out a whimper "...please..."
"Caleb?" she sounded stunned "Are...Are you crying?"
I broke down for real this time. No pretending. No faking. These emotions were real - I really missed her and the fact that she wasn't coming back made me feel empty and worthless.
"I..." I cried "I miss you Gina. I miss your humour. I miss your body. I miss your lips. Everything. I seem so far away and I can't handle it. I missed you even when I went to Harley. Please come back baby...please forgive...me..."
"Cal..." she sniffed "I miss you too"
We sat there for a while after which she blurted out.
"You're forgiven"
My heart made a gargantuan leap to cloud nine.
"Gina babe..." I smiled, biting my lips "...I love you"
Her sharp intake of breath was audible "I love you too"
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Feels...feels...feels...so much of it T_T
Longest chapter so far :P
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Love, K
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