「 T W E N T Y T W O 」
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I Don't remember much of how I got home last night, but I do know is that I barely made it through the front door and that I honestly felt like my soul was going to leave my body, blanketing me in the cold clutches of death.
I lay against the bitter cold of my aunts hallway, the blood from my wounds either dried up on my face or a new feature upon the hallways dusty old rug. She would of said it adds a mysterious character to the rug, a story.
A hiss left my lips as I sat myself up a little to quickly, the ache of my body crying out as I leant against the wall, shuffling into a more comfortable position. My head tilted back pressed against the wall, a sigh leaving my lips as I felt the rawness of the large gash in my upper thigh relieving itself of my own blood.
Groaning I tried to pull myself up, just enough to reach the kitchen to get the first aid kit. But my attempts to stand where pointless, everything burned.
" Looks like someone had a rough night."
Kat
"Hello Kat" I winced as the gash on my leg began to throb uncontrollably. "What are you doing here?"
She stood in the doorway, a small sympathetic smile on her lips as she strolled past me towards the living room.
" You might want to check the news."
Struggling to stand I managed to shuffle my way into the lounge, my bottom lip on the verge of bleeding as I made my way towards the old leather armchair, the cushions sunken in on themselves.
Kat flicked the television on, tuning into the news.
" Last night at the annual Wayne Enterprises charity auction the Joker and Harley Quinn gate crashed the event holding the entire hall hostage. Not before guests say a hooded woman came and disrupted the robbery."
"Uh oh..." I mutter as I can feel Kat gaze on me. My eyes wearily looking up to here.
" I wish I could explai—."
"Save it." She said sternly folding her arms across her chest, shutting off the TV. "What you did last night was reckless, clearly you didn't get out without injury, hopefully you've learnt a lesson." The disappointment in her voice thick as she continued to stare at me. Her tantalising glisten in her cold stormy grey eyes said it all. " But—I'm impressed with how you handled yourself."
A smile creeping on her lips as she unfolded her arms. My confused expression painted across my face as I breathed heavily, the pounding in my head coming back again. Pride practically pouring from her pores, her smile falling as she watched me grow pale.
Worriedly Kat crouched beside me, her fingers being ticked from her gloves feeling my forehead and cheeks.
" Let's get you patched up, especially before you get a fever."
Her cold fingers leaving my face as she disappeared into the kitchen. Swiftly emerging with a first aid kit.
It felt strange as Kat tended to my wounds. Carefully dabbing rubbing alcohol to a cotton pad before carefully dabbing at the gash cutting through my eyebrow. My only identifier that it was there was the stinging burn pushing through my face once the alcohol hit the open wound.
My teeth clamping down on my bottom lip as she carefully rolled up my sleeve of my shirt after stripping me of my jacket, the putrid sight of scrapes across my forearm,dried crimson bloody flaming off my skin.
" I hate to say this without a first date honey but I'm going to need you to drop your pants." Kat chastised glancing up at me from her crouched position a mischievous glimmer in her eyes as if she was enjoying ever moment of this.
" I don't think nows the time for humour." I hissed as I leant forward, feeling the strain of my muscles aching, screaming as if they where on fire.
"There's always a time for humour"
Kat managed to clean up most of my cuts and scrapes. Leaving my thigh for me to clean up. She showed me how to stitch it up and block out the pain.
Another thing she taught me.
Self preservation
I stood limping in the bathroom, the rumble of the steaming hot water filling the bath the only thing audible in the room.
Reaching down escaping my clouded thoughts I turned the taps, halting the water from pouring anymore. Slowly dipping one foot into the water, before wincing as I lowered my aching body into the soothing warm waters. But the warmth of the water felt anything but soothing. I feel as if I'm bathing in acid, my cuts burning, stinging no word could describe the insufferable quaking in my thigh.
The soap suds coating my skin like a blanket as I sunk into the water. Everything consuming me as I submerged my head completely. The pressure of the water feeling like I was being suffocated alive. The warmth of the water scorching my insides cooking me from the inside out.
My fingers raking through my hair, scratching away the grim, sweat and dried blood. The sweet scent of coconut and vanilla shampoo being scrubbed into my scalp softened my muscles as all the knots of anxiety began to wash away.
The water began to turn cold, climbing out I let all the water drain out, disappearing down the rusted old pipes along with my darkest thoughts and regrets.
I sat down on the old tubs side with my leg propped up. I began carefully cleaning around my stab wound. It stung like hell as I applied the last of the rubbing alcohol and anti-septic ointment.
I hesitated before picking up the sewing needle. How it glistened in the dim light of the flickering light, how the medical thread fell through the gap prepared to stitch me back together. I sucked in a deep breathe before piercing the tip through my flesh, a screech of pain rumbling in my throat as I refused to open my mouth. Every piercing touch I winced, blinking back the salty tears.
Once again I was alone. Kat has places to be and answers to find. Leaving me alone.
I couldn't go to Jakes home. He'd ask to many questions, demand answers and criticise me. Or he wouldn't talk to me, he already thinks ima disgrace right now. Maybe he's right, maybe I'm too in over my head.
Lying back on the bed in my old room I let my muscles relax into the softness of the mattress. Inhaling the cold smell of familiarity. The cold sense of love and admiration of those inside this home. The smell of my aunt still rattling around these walls.
I know what I did last night was stupid, reckless and very very idiotic. I look like them.
Maybe I am loosing myself?
Maybe I just need to run—running wouldn't be so bad?
Everything is so complicated.
I'm loosing my best friend, but gaining so much more. A family who understands me.
Maybe me and Jake are not on the same page, where we ever on the same page? The more I think the more my head begins to hurt. I can't tell what's real anymore.
What if I'm loosing my sanity
Before I knew it exhaustion blanketed me welcoming me into slumber. The only escape I know I could be safe, away from corrupted mind. But it's not always the best escape route.
I awoke in a strangled scream as the haunting of my dreams scratched at my mind, my body lurching forward until I was sat up right, stiff as a board coated in sweat. My heart hammering against my rib cage as I struggled to catch my breathe. The ache in my muscles crying out at the sharp abrupt movements of my body lurching forward.
It felt so real, his taunting laugh, the screams, even the blood staining my fingers.
Ever since that wretched night he plagued my dreams. That crooked smile that stretched inhumanly across his chalk coloured face. The thought of him making me shudder.
6:08 am
A groan escapes my chapped lips as I glare at the alarm clock illuminating the room. The blinds snapped shut to avoid any outsider that I was indeed living inside the shell of my own home. Running a hand through my hair I decided to get ready for the day, pulling on a clean pair of jeans hopping that maybe just maybe I could hide away at school. Hide behind the normal girl mask that is crumbling in my tainted hands.
What if people start to see through the cracks of my sculpted mask.
Have I always been wearing a mask?
I don't believe in fate or destiny, I believe you make your own path in life but all of this makes me start to think otherwise.
Am I destined to turn into a rotten apple? Has it always been for told that I will go down a dark path. Everything I do seems to have consequences, some more horrific than most.
What if none of this was my fault? But those around me. What if this was all my fault. I mean I do have some fault in this?
This all hurts my head! I need answers.
Yes I know the questions I'm thinking in my head are impossible to answer but I need to know.
Without thinking outside my corrupt thoughts I left for school. The last place both Harley and Joker would expect to see me. Especially after being brutally beaten.
Last night was a mistake. I was stupid and naive. I let my pride and anger get the best of me. I should of had a better grip on my emotions.
Before I knew it I was outside the schools full brick exterior, the dullness of it all screaming boarding school for spoilt brats.
All we need is a preppy uniform and you name it we're there.
Limping towards the entrance doors I take a deep breathe. Inhaling in the gloom and toxicity of our schools ecosystem.
Here goes nothing