Chapter 17
I woke disappointed to find an empty bed. It was extremely cold, even under the covers, so I quickly threw them back and scrambled around the room looking for my suitcase. I couldn't remember where I set it, so I was kind of lost. Even thought there are only so many places it could be. I finally found it on a wall next to the dresser. I unzipped it and threw on my comfortable clothes, not caring how unattractive I looked.
lazy day
I wandered through the fairly large cabin until I found Anne cooking in the kitchen.
"Good morning," she smiled brightly at me.
"Good morning," I replied just as cheerful.
"How did you sleep?" she asks flipping a pancake.
"Just fine. What about you?" I asked as well taking a seat on a bar stool.
"I slept pretty good, but it was quite cold last night," she tells me.
"Yeah. I woke up this morning basically an ice sickle," I tell her lightly.
"I don't know how. You and Harry were quite cozy last night," a small smile plays on her lips and she looks up to smirk at me. I am blushing like crazy and I can't make eye contact.
"Oh, I'm only teasing. But you two were quite cute. I've never seen him act the way he does around you," she says going back to cooking.
"What do you mean?" I ask her my brows furrowing in confusion.
"So attentive and caring. He watches you like you're the most brilliant thing he's ever seen. And this morning, I was coming to wake you up, but found Harry and you snuggled together. He was holding you like you would disappear any moment. I've never seen him so happy," she explains. Her voice is quiet and thoughtful. I watch her taking in her words. Surely she's misunderstood. I mean, Harry doesn't like me like that. Does he? I was so confused.
"Thank you," Anne's voice brings me out of my thoughts.
"What for?"
"For sticking around. I know he can be a handful, but he really is one of the most amazing people on this planet. I know he's got his problems, but you seem to understand him. He needs you in his life," she says looking up at me.
I'm speechless. I don't know how to respond to that. Harry didn't need me, but I needed him. That's why I stuck around. I love him and that's a strong word that doesn't get used often when it comes to me. But I truly love Harry. Not just love him. I'm IN love with him. I care about him more than anyone else on the planet. I would go to the ends of the Earth to make him happy. But Harry needing me? No. Truth is Harry doesn't need anybody.
Speak of the devil, he comes strolling through the kitchen door. He goes over to his mom and gives her a kiss on the cheek, but freezes when he turns around and sees me. I don't think he knew I was there. He decides to just forget it and strolls over to me giving me a kiss on the cheek as well. I was totally surprised by that, but didn't say anything. I just smiled and he returned it. I noticed Anne trying not to smile and I almost blushed.
"How'd you sleep?" Harry asked. I'm sure referring to our little talk. I gave him the best smile I could.
"Fine," I tell him before turning away. Talking about the events of my life took a toll on me. I had pushed back the memories for so long. I was emotionally exhausted thinking about it. I almost regretted telling Harry about my past. Not because I didn't trust him, I just...hadn't told anyone. Ever.
I think he sensed my apprehension and grabbed my hand under the table lacing our fingers together. I squeezed his hand in thanks and he smiled, but it didn't reach his dimples. Anne places our plates in front of us and I smiled in and told her a quiet thank you. I released Harry's hand to eat and he pouted. I smiled at the cute gesture and poked his cheek. I ate while Anne called everyone else into the kitchen for food. Gemma slugged in looking absolutely beautiful despite the fact that she just woke up. Robin followed shortly after giving his wife a sweet peck on the lips.
"Good morning beautiful," he told her. She grinned glowing at the affection. I smiled at the two and looked over at Harry. He was already looking at me a small smile playing on his lips.
"So, how do you usually celebrate Christmas?" Anne asks me once everyone had settled.
"I usually just stay with El," I tell her. Of course I don't tell her why and I'm thankful that no one asks.
"Well, we usually have the cabin decorated, but we forgot the supplies at the house, so later we're going out to get all of it. I was wondering if you would like to come," she tells me, but asks at the same time.
"No. We'll stay here," Harry answers for me. Anne smiles brightly.
"Ok, that's fine."
~
"We're leaving now!" I heard Anne call to us from the front door.
"Ok!" Harry yells back from his spot beside me on the couch. I heard a door open and close and then heard the car pull out of the drive way. We were watching a bunch of Christmas movie on the tv. Home Alone was on right now. It was one of my favorites. I was curled up on the couch snuggling a pillow watching Kevin totally win in a very epic fashion. I loved the way he outsmarted these guys.
"You look so concentrated," Harry chuckled.
"Shhh!" I said teasing him. Sort of. He raised his eyebrows in amusement.
"Harper can I ask you something?" Harry says suddenly serious.
"Yeah, Haz. Anything," I say turning my attention to him.
"Why do you put up with me?" The question caught me off guard. I knew that he was going to ask something serious the look on his face, but I didn't expect that. I thought for a second while Harry seemed to shift anxiously.
"Because you're worth it," I said softly. He sighed heavily and lifted himself off the couch running his hands through his hair.
"And that! Why do you say things like that?" he sounded frustrated and I was beyond confused.
"Well, would you rather me say you don't matter to me and I have no reason to stick around?" I asked my eyebrows shooting up.
"Yes! I would!" he exclaims.
"Why?" I asks getting up from the couch and putting my hands on my hips.
"Because it would make more sense! I'm not worth it! I'm don't deserve you!" he yells pacing back and forth.
"What the hell are you talking about? of course you're worth it!" I tell him exasperated.
"No! No I'm not! Nobody else thinks of me that way!" he stops pacing and looks at me.
"Yeah, because women practically throw themselves at you for no reason," I say sarcastically rolling my eyes.
"That's different!" he says pulling at his hair.
"How? They think you're worth it! They wouldn't come onto you if they didn't!" I yell my voice rising. I was angry that I had to explain to him why woman thought he was the hottest thing on the planet.
"Well, being that guy gets exhausting!" he yells.
"Yeah, because its soooo hard being every girls dream guy! I mean, you're sexy and mysterious and charming! What's not to want?" I ask angrily.
"Well, what about you huh? You strut around so innocent and insecure, but in reality every guy wants you! You're so beautiful! You have the most beautiful blue eyes that are so easy to get lost in and you have this gorgeous curvy body and your lips are so big and full and I just want to kiss you every time I see you!" he yells at me. My mind doesn't even process what he says before I'm defending myself.
"Oh bullshit!" I spit gesturing to the sweats on my body and running a hand through my hair. "Who would want to get with this?" I yell at him angrily.
"I would! I always want you! No matter what! I can't get you out of my fucking mind! You're driving me crazy!" he screams the vain in his neck becoming prominent.
"I'm driving you crazy? Harry I'm giving you all the signals, but you're too stupid to see them! I'm always dropping hints, but you don't even notice! Are you that much of an idiot?" I ask rhetorically.
"You drop shit hints then! You always make it seem like I'm nothing but a friend! Like that's all I'll ever be!" he takes a step towards me.
"Because you said yourself you don't have any feelings for me! Plus you're not that guy Harry! You don't do relationships!" I tell him. Are we really having this fight? Is this really happening?
"I could be! I could be that guy! For you!" he yells before taking to long strides to me and cupping my face in his hands.
Before I can even begin to process what's happening his lips meet mine in an angry passionate kiss. I react immediately my lips moving against his perfectly.
His hands move from my face sliding into my hair fisting it while my arms fisted the front of his shirt. Our mouths opened at the same time and our tounges swirling against each other. I was breathing him in and he doing the same to me. My whole body was on fire and I never wanted to leave this moment. I felt so right. It felt so good to finally know what his lips felt like on mine. The kiss deepened and he unwound his hands from my hair wrapping an arm around the back of my neck and one around my waist. I tangled my fingers into his hair and tugged slightly. We pulled apart ever so slightly to catch our breath but he quickly attached his lips to mine again. I finally realized what was going on my senses going into over drive, but I still didn't pull away. This kiss was slower. More sensual. More passionate and loving. He finally pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine. He caressed my cheek with his thumb. His eyes met mine and I held the hand that was cupping my cheek.
"What are we doing?" I asked quietly.
"I don't know," he replied.
"What does this make us?" I ask
"I don't know," he answers again. I my eyes and leaned into his touch. He unwrapped his arm from my waist and cupped my other cheek pulling my face up to his causing me to stand up on my tippy toes. He kissed me softly. This one was short, and yet it seemed more intimate than the previous two. The kisses we had shared left me light headed and confused. This was quite possibly the best day of my life. He pulled his body away from mine and grabbed my hand intertwining our fingers. What was he thinking? Did that kiss mean to him what it did to me? What about all the stuff he said? Was that true? I wanted to know what was going on in his mind but I didn't want to ruin this. Whatever this is. All I knew was that he had kissed me and I had kissed him back and I wanted to do it again and again and again.