I parked the car and undid my seatbelt desperate for fresh air. I tried to act normal as I swung the passenger door open. The sun was going down on the horizon. I just leaned against the car door watching it for a moment.
"Beautiful," I breathed at the breath taking sight of pinks, yellows, purples, and oranges streaked across the sky.
"Yeah," Harry mumbled but when I looked over at him his eyes weren't on the sky. They rested on me. I let my eyes wander his face as well. Our eyes locked and suddenly I didn't want to move. I wanted to stay like that. Just looking into his bright green eyes. I don't know how long we stared at each other, but he was the first to look away. To my disappointment he dropped his eyes to the food in the car and snatched it up before slamming the door shut. I sighed watching him stroll into the apartment. I dropped my head onto the top of the open car door squeezing my eyes shut trying to get myself together. Why is this so hard? Why can't I just tell him I like him and we just have a happily ever after? Oh yeah, because this isn't a fucking fairytale and life's a bitch. I let out a groan and slammed the car door shut. I stomped over to the house and angrily opened the front door. I just wanted to go to bed. Until I realized Harry and I had to share a bed.
Pushing away my angry feelings I tried to act normal as I walked into the kitchen. Everyone was there gathering their food in their hands. I refused to look at anyone, especially Harry, as I collected my food in my hands.
"We're going to watch a movie in the living room," El told me. I just simply nodded and took my food with me to the living room and sat down on the love seat remembering todays earlier events to which Harry and I had been so cuddled up made me cringe. Not out of regret, just the thought that we probably wouldn't be that way for a while. Things had changed just in that trip to get the food. Harry had shamelessly flirted with a girl, more than likely to bring her home sometime soon, and I had a date. One that I didn't know much about. Not where it was going to be or when it was going to be. I suddenly realized that I didn't want to go on that date. I wasn't interested in anyone but Harry and he's immune to anything but lust.
Louis got the movie started, but I was in my own little world. I just picked at my food not really hungry anymore. I did take notice to the fact however that Harry had taken the chair on the other side of the couch. The piece of furniture the farthest away from me. I didn't really care though. I didn't really care about anything right now. I just wanted to be with Harry and knowing that that was impossible hurt me worse than anything in the world. It hurt me more than when my dad left us for another woman. More than when my mom used to tell me I was worthless and pitiful. More than when my best friend decided she couldn't be friends with me anymore because I refused to be as girlie or prissy as my mother. It was by far the worst feeling I had ever felt.
I couldn't sit here anymore so I abruptly got up and went to dump my food in the kitchen. I leaned against the counter breathing deeply tying to hold back tears. This was so stupid. Crying over a boy, but Harry was different. He was one of the only people in the world that I trusted. I shouldn't have let myself get so invested. I should have turned down Harry's offer to be just friends.
*Flash Back*
"Go away," I said annoyed at the boy who decided to make himself comfortable in my booth at a local diner I had discovered not too long ago. I was still trying to find my way around London and I had decided that I liked this place the best so far. It was quaint and had good food, so I didn't appreciate this persistent boy ruining it for me.
"Ouch. No need to be so cold love," Harry said his signature smirk playing on his handsome features.
"Harry. This is the last time I'm going to say it. I. Will. Not. Sleep. With. You," I told him annunciating each word clearly as if to drill it into his brain.
