You
Over the last couple of months, you and Jonathan have formed a close bond, a deep friendship. You don't even remember how or why, you just know that it happened, and it makes you extremely happy. Seriously, you get ecstatic when you are with him, it gives you a comforting feeling inside; something that you haven't really received. Not in a long time, anyway.
When you were just a young girl, back in 1970, you're mom was killed in a car crash. You remember the year so well, because of the traumatizing newspaper article that was released in the fall of said year. The article that explained her death, no sympathy written in any of the fine, black print. October 30th, 1970. It's always been kind of funny to you how she was killed on the Devil's night, one day before the celebrated Halloween. There was no celebration on that Halloween. There was only darkness, emptiness, despair. That filled you, and your father, with immense doses of dread that fueled you slowly for the last fourteen years. Now, you being eighteen years old, and transferring schools, you feel happiness. True happiness that you only feel with a loved one. And that center of happiness is Jonathan Byers, the one who has kept you functioning peacefully for the last couple of months. He, of course, doesn't know that. He sees you as only a mere friend, someone cast away, his eyes fixated on the blue-eyed girl that walks in the hallways. Nancy.
You have nothing against Nancy, but you wish you could show Jonathan that she was with Steve, and he needed to move on. Being in Senior year gives both you and him opportunities, to find futures. Your future is hopefully somewhere strong, you've always wanted to be a veterinarian, or an author. Yet, those dreams have been imagined with Jonathan, and that's how you know you love him. You love Jonathan Byers, the outcast who barely speaks. Only to you... and Nancy.
~*~*~*~*~
The crisp October morning awakens you, and the first thought that crosses your mind is school... which is weird. You aren't a fan of school, too many kids with too many priorties, some of which are pointless. School fills you with wonder, most likely because of Jonathan, the man who you love. Love, an odd feeling. One that hasn't been given to you since I was four, after dad turned cold, you think solemnly, but you try to replace that with a smile. Like always. Smile, smile, smile. Don't cry, it's not worth it. Smile.
You repeat this over and over, until your eyes land on the 1984 calender that hangs on your wall. Most of the days are crossed out... except for two. Today, which is... the 30th. Fourteen years. Fourteen years since you became half-orphan. Fourteen years since the person you loved most was taken away, ripped from this cold earth. This cold, sad earth.
A tear manages to slide down your cheek, overwhelming sadness striking you with brute force. It hurts. It hasn't gone away, the pain hasn't. It's been fourteen years, you were four years old. But you remember. You remember her kind smile, her warm eyes, her need to make others around her happy. Her scent of tomatoes and freshly cut grass; she loved gardening and working outside. Everything about her, you can register with a simple thought, multiplying the pain by so much more.
You have to ignore it. You'll see Jonathan and he'll make you happy again, even if he doesn't requit your love. He's your friend. Friend. These thoughts swim in your mind, making a small and sad smile form on your tear-stained cheeks. "You'll be okay. Like normal," you whisper to yourself. You look at the ceiling, and you say something that almost breaks your own heart. "Mom... I love you. Happy forty-third birthday. And happy fourteenth deathday. I'm okay... you should be, too." you quickly get changed and immediately walking to school, no "goodbyes" to your dad. He's most likely upset himself. You slip through the door, careful not to disturb your dad, and you sigh when you shut the door successfully. "I love you, dad," she murmured, and walked off to school, her fake smile still plastered on her face.
It's a short walk to Jonathan's, where you always pick him up. You pleasantly knock on the door, feeling your face to make sure the tears are gone. "Hello, dear," Joyce says kindly as she opens the door. "You're here for Jonathan, I'm assuming?" you nod awkwardly as Joyce turns back into the house. "Hey, Jonathan! Y
is here to pick you up!" literally seconds later, Jonathan is at the door, his camera hanging around his neck. His dirty-blond hair is a mess, but it looks pretty attractive. He has his signature t-shirt and jeans, with battered sneakers. It's Jonathan... the one you fell in love with. "Hey, Jonathan." you say happily, well, as happy as you can. He smiles. "Hey, Y
. Ready to go to school?" you nod, and start walking the opposite direction. He runs after you, causing you to giggle, and run faster, your large sweater billowing behind you, and the cold wind hitting your face. Jonathan's voice is heard behind you, and you take a small path through the woods. You glance behind you, your legs still moving, and you are him, he's laughing. The dead leaves crush under your feet, and then you slow down, letting him catch you. "You're it," he says playfully, hitting your shoulder. You look around at the gray, arousing clouds, and the wind blowing the dead and bare branches. The path beneath you has seemed to miraculously disappear, and this spot of the forest looks unfamiliar, signaling a feeling of discomfort.
I guess I've been running longer then I thought, you think, and look at your watch incredulously. It's a little passed eight... WHAT? You look at the clock again. "We have been running for that long?" Jonathan exclaims, looking at it again. "I guess, but it felt like ten seconds!" you reply. "And we're in an unfamiliar part of the damn forest! I've never been here!" he says, obviously pissed. You sigh. "Let's just calm down, and search for a way out. We can't be that far." Jonathan nods, and you walk away. As he follows in the direction that you believe you came, he pauses. "Why are you so eager to get to school?" he asks. You shrug, not really wanting to answer. "Because I don't want to get a bad score on attendance?" you say, almost questioningly. You pause yourself. "What about you?" he also shrugs, and says, "same here. So, tomorrow's Halloween! Are you excited? And tonight's Devil's night. A lot of the teens are planning to prank a bunch of houses. Are you worried?" you roll your eyes, and respond with a bitter, "no. I hate Halloween, and I couldn't care less about teenagers pranking houses. I don't care about Devil's night, and I haven't celebrated Halloween since I was four. So, as I said, I don't really care." Jonathan actually looks shocked at the outburst. "Why?"
You glare at him. "Because I can remember. I remember everything, I remember." he looks confused. "What do you mean?" you feel tears swimming in your eyes, making his face blurry. "Because I can remember her. I remember everything, I remember trying to call her name, begging for her to come back. I remember everything about her, I remember the day that my dad turned into a boulder, impossible to budge. Impossible to love. I remember when I was eleven years old, I dressed as her for Halloween. When my dad asked 'why?' I replied with, 'because she's dead', and I got slapped for that. Because I remember being so depressed, because I was so lost, I almost killed myself. And then, I met you. You are my happiness, you make me happy. And, then I saw you had eyes on another girl. Nancy. So, I backed off. For your happiness. I remember it all, and I don't want to lose you. To college, NYU, or Nancy. And it's selfish. I'm selfish. But... I still don't want anything else to slip away. Like my mom, like my dad's warmth, like my sanity. Because I'm insane. And you know it. I'm sorry." you cry, and every single memory comes flooding back to you, each one creates another wave of tears. It's all pointless, Jonathan won't care, you think solemnly. You feel it all, fourteen years of no crying, of faking a smile, gets relinquished. You don't care anymore, you just can't. No lights at the end of the tunnel, just cold, bitter emptiness, as it consumes your being. It tears you apart, any smile that you once had is gone, you feel. It's nothing. Nothing. It's like the Upside down, and the story that Jonathan told you a couple weeks ago. Except, the feeling has been going on for fourteen years.
Then, a warm embrace envelops you slowly. It's comforting, reassuring, but your tears don't stop. "Don't remember. Forget, just... don't remember. Just know that I'm right here. I'm right here."
The voice belongs to Jonathan, it's soft, and it whispers in your ear. A small splash of water is felt along your arm, sending goosebumps through your spine. Jonathan cups your face, lifting it to reach his eyes. His beautiful, hazel eyes. The tears are still flowing, just not as heavy and You feel something... It's different, from anything you've ever felt. "Beautiful," he whispers, smiling slightly. You give him a sad look. "Amazing." you say quietly. "Don't give up. I'll always be right here." he repeats, and I give the smallest of smiles. The rain starts falling harder, the sky gets even darker, as the wind picks up. But, the cold of the outside has dissipated, you being in Jonathan's arms. He slowly pulls your face closer to his, and your lips are milimeters away from one another's, when a clap of thunder makes you jump, away from his face.
He laughs, and then, he does the thing you'd least expect. He wraps you in his arms again, and then, he kisses You. Passionately. It is strong, sweet, yet light and soft. The stars are falling from the sky, the rain is beating across your silhouettes, the sun has illuminated the dark clouds. But, that's what you feel. Good emotions, true and utter happiness, something you haven't felt in years, is occuring. It's overwhelming, it's amazing, It's so many things at the same time. You don't know what to think, you don't know what to think, but all you know is that you won't stop. Until, he breaks away. "Will you remember that?" He asks with a playful smile, his face and hair sopping with rain. You nod happily.
"Yeah. I'll remember that."
It makes it easier to write about a person you relate to, in all honesty.