I feel warm lips pressing repeatedly on my jaw, neck and shoulder. Because I'm enjoying this so much, I don't make a move to show that I'm awake. Suddenly I feel a tongue licking up my neck. I want to giggle and move away, but yet again I stay completely still. Thankful that I'm facing away from him.
"I know you're awake Mel." He whispers, biting on my earlobe. He presses me against him and I refrain from turning to mush from of his deep, husky, sleep induced voice. Oh this is hard. "Babe."
Silence.
I no longer feel his presence behind me. I smile in triumph – of what exactly I don't know either. My smile quickly fades as he pushes me onto my back, then he appears above me. Is it too late to close my eyes now?
"Are you ignoring me?" he says and I stay quiet. Not because I want to but because in this moment I become so overwhelmed by him. He is a beautiful human being and how he chose to be above me now, this instant, instead of somewhere else, perhaps with someone else, is beyond me. I can't begin to explain the feeling that tides through me. Oh he's attractive. I randomly think to myself.
My heart rate picks up, so fast I wonder if he can hear it. My hands become clammy and its extremely hot in my room. I try to move, maybe even give him a sassy comment, but yet again my body fails me. I feel numb yet alive at the same time. Is this the effect he has on me? I study his beautiful face and his alluring body. I don't know if I was searching for any, but I find no flaw on him. None whatsoever. He is simply perfect in my eyes.
"Hi?" I say and I feel like my face is splitting in half thanks to the big smile on my face. He smiles and for a split second, my heart stops beating.
"Hey birthday girl." he kisses my right cheek but it's not enough. I pull him down to me. He loses his balance and his arms fall flat on the bed, bringing his entire weight on me. "Someone is excited to see me" he grins smugly.
"I think you're the one who's excited" I say. He looks down between our bodies, covered by our clothes. His narrows his eyes at me with a smirk. I want to ask him what he's smirking about but I'm stopped by my own intake of breath.
"I am." he states simply. He grinds his hips once unto mine as one of his hands move to grab my waist. I feel the obvious bulge rubbing against me as he does. He does it again upon seeing my reaction. His face holds no trace of the smirk he had before, as he lowers his head to my neck, biting on the skin there. "You going to stop ignoring me?" he asks with a hoarse voice. Unable to speak, I nod and I feel his smile against my neck. "Good." he says before capturing my lips with his.
I start to kiss him back but then I realize, I haven't brushed my teeth yet. Yuk. I quickly break the kiss and push Zayn off me as stand from the bed. I think he knows what I'm thinking because grabs my wrist and pulls me on top of him with a big grin. He tries to kiss me again but I turn my head away from him. He chuckles before taking my face in his hands.
"I don't care, I want to kiss you anyway." He kisses me but doesn't deepen the kiss. He knows it makes me uncomfortable. He slaps my ass as he pecks me on the lips once more. "let's go" he stands from the bed, still holding me against him. I automatically wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulder.
He hums as he grabs my ass with one hand on each butt cheek. I slide down a bit and he curses under his breath. "Mel if don't stop moving around I'm going to take you here and now." I laugh because I don't think he's serious. "and yes I am serious" I can't help but grin at him with raised eyebrows
"Well someone is awfully sexual today." I say as he walks to the door with me still in his arms. He scoffs.
"That happens when I wake up next to you pressed against me." He says lowly "I'm barely controlling myself as it is." I roll my eyes at him.
"Every damn time I see you two, you're jumping each other's bones." Cate says exasperated. Zayn lets me stand on my feet as we turn around to see Cate walk out of her room. "Anyway... hey birthday girl" she comes over to hug me tightly. She steps back and I watch as her eyes move between me and Zayn.
She looks at my disarrayed state then to Zayn's naked torso. I think she notices the bulge in his boxers because she raises one eyebrow and quickly looks away, back to me with a "You dirty little girl" expression. "I was busy making you breakfast, come in ten or so minutes." I smile at her as Zayn drags me into the bathroom, shutting the door behind us.
"Oh I'm so going to get it once you leave." I tell Zayn as I give him a new toothbrush. "Did you see how she was looking at us." I shake my head with a small laugh.
"Yeah well if some shirtless guy with a noticeable erection was walking down the hall with her, like we were. I would also look at them like that." I laugh at him as we both start brushing our teeth.
We decide to shower before anything else. I shower first and Zayn goes after me. I dress in black yoga pants and Zayn dresses in sweats but leaves the shirt off because "he feels like it".
Once we're done we eat the pancakes Cate made for me, with happy birthday written on with syrup. We walk to my room to lazy around all day in my bed. Cate decided to go do a little shopping so me and Zayn are all alone.
I know that soon we're going to have the big talk, and honestly I don't want to, this morning has been too enjoyable to ruin it by fighting. Zayn has the same idea as he climbs on the bed and pats the spot next to him.
"So I guess we have to talk huh?" he says as I join him on the bed. We're both leaning on the headboard. I nod and sit so I'm facing him. "Okay let's start then." he starts a little nervously. I lace my fingers with his to calm both of us down. Or maybe just myself.
"I feel that we both said some things and I think that those are our biggest problems in this relationship. Your secrecy about us to everyone and my doubts about us I guess." I say with a shrug.
"Do you really think that we won't make it? Have I made you doubt me so much already?" he asks looking deeply into my eyes. Searching for the truth "Because Mel, if we don't have trust or faith in each other, it won't ever work out. No matter how long we try to hold on."
"I did doubt you, maybe I still do." I say and watch as his face hardens. "I mean we started out confused, we jumped right into this. You kiss me then push me away then you want me back but not really as your girlfriend yet. You finally ask me to be your girlfriend but the whole thing with your family happened." I sigh
"Do you see why I have doubts. We were never really solid, we jumped right into this, not knowing what it was back then or what it would lead to."
"Do you regret it?" Is all he says. Do I regret it?
Of course, I don't. Yes, we've had our ups and downs and I didn't think we would ever get this far. But no I don't regret a single thing. Considering how my feelings for this maddening yet beautiful man have skyrocketed these past month, I don't think I could ever regret anything that has to do with Zayn.
"No." I shake my head. My hands still in his. "do you?"
There goes my heart again.
He tugs on my hand, pulling me to so that I'm straddling him and his hands move to cup my face. My hands land on his shirtless chest.
"Mel, I could never regret you." He says sincerely.
"Then why does it feel like you're always keeping us a secret?" I say. His hands drop my face as he sighs, but he places them on my hips.
"I told that I don't want my parents to just write you off as not worthy enough for me. I wanted them to meet you first, and make their own opinions about you. My parents, especially my father are very big on culture and religion and it has always been an issue with the women I date." Something crossed his eyes, but it's gone as soon as it came. "Me and you are very different Mel, from religion, to culture, to race to freaking country and I wanted them to look past that before judging our relationship."
"I promise I'm going to tell them soon. I think they like you already.' He says with a shy smile. I can't help but smile back. "Do you understand now why I did what I did." I nod because I do. "Even with the magazine articles earlier on, I didn't want them to see what negative things some people had to say about us or you for that matter."
"There's a thin line between secrecy and privacy Zayn."
"I know. I don't want to keep you a secret, hell I want to show you off wherever I go." He squeezes my sides and continues. "I just don't want this relationship to be influenced or tainted by people who have no business in it. I don't want you to start doubting us because of what some stupid magazines or gossipers say." I nod at him in reply.
"Say it." he says.
"Say what?" I ask confused.
"That you trust me and believe me. Or that you'll at least try."
"I do." I say smiling. I have no reason to doubt him now.
"Do what?" he asks cheekily.
"I trust and believe you." He smiles but mine quickly fades as I remember something. He raises his eyebrows at me, noticing something is a little off.
I mean it's not that big a deal, I just feel like he should know.
"I have something to tell you." I say biting on my bottom lip. His eyes move towards my lips before he release my lip from my teeth by tugging on my chin with his hand. He stares at me waiting for me to continue. "I mean it's not really a big deal, it's just something I thought you should know." I shrug.
"Mel stop rambling and talk." He says.
"Okay but don't get all mad and stuff okay?" I ask and he rolls his eyes at me. "I'm serious you can't ge- "
"Mel." he says in warning tone. He's getting impatient. "Okay gosh." I lift my hand in surrender.
"Trevor kissed me." I blurt. I wait for his reaction.
He's quiet for what feels like hours. He's way too quiet. His jaw clenches and he drops his hands from my body.
"Are you mad?" I ask without thinking. Of course he's mad. I almost laugh at my stupidity but Zayn's facial expression sobers me right up.
"No I'm not mad. I'm fucking pissed." He spits.