Angie thought Clare's first day back at the office was awful for her and for everyone else. No-one knew what to say to her and she didn't know what to say to them. The day passed slowly and Angie was relieved when it was time to go home.
Angie felt she was too emotional a person, if someone cried that was it, she would burst into tears. She was glad Clare had held it together, because she just knew if Clare cried she would also cry and how embarrassing that would be! However, because she knew this about herself she had rather a brusque attitude at times and people thought she was tough, but she knew better.
It was now, at the end of the day, when Clare said to her,
"Angie, I'm not talking to 'Him' anymore." It was spoken with deepest bitterness.
"Pardon?"
"I'm not talking to the Lord any more. If he's going to do things like this to me, I can't see the point. If he doesn't care enough..." At this point Clare broke down. There was no one else in the office as Alan had already left, having a dentist's appointment.
It was the moment Angie had dreaded. Try as she might to stop herself, her pent up emotions got the better of her and she burst into tears. Clare came over to her, where she was slumped on the desk and put her arms around her. They cried together, sobbing and weeping until Angie rose from the desk and they hugged one another.
"It's just as well they've all gone home." said Angie dabbing at her eyes. "What on earth would they think?"
"I'm afraid I'm well past caring what people think." said Clare, sniffing.
"I don't know what to say to you Clare, but you mustn't lose your faith. God must have his reasons. Perhaps he wanted Hal's last couple of years to be happy. You did make him happy. I think he was blissfully happy."
"Yes, he was happy... perhaps you're right."
"There are times when we don't understand what's going on." said Angie "It's times like this when all we can do is trust. We have to believe that God is in control, otherwise we're done for."
"It wouldn't work anyway, I've tried it before. You can't stop praying even if you wanted to. It becomes part of your life, you can't stop." Clare replied, with another sniff.
"That's only because you do believe that you can't stop. People who don't believe do stop." Angie sighed heavily. "We're only human, God knows how we feel. I think he'll give us the strength to go on. He intervenes when we can't do it on our own."
They left the office feeling very down and went home, taking their heavy hearts with them.
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