It was early in the morning and the sunlight was just peaking over the horizon. The air was still and quiet and that was how Lennon liked Asheville to be. In the early hour, it felt like she had it all to herself.
It had been so long since she had been home, on these streets but they still looked the same. Turning down her old road she caught sight of the rose bushes, outside of her old house, her mother had planted the year before she got sick. It felt strange to have the house look the same when the life she had had when she lived there was gone. Losing her mother had changed everything.
"I'm at the yellow house" she told the driver, pointing to the two-story three houses down.
He pulled up and helped her with her bags and then he was gone and Lennon was left in the still of the morning, facing the house that held some of her most important memories. She could hear someone stirring inside and she walked up the front steps, dragging her suitcase behind her. She gave the screen door a gentle knock and a dark figure appeared behind the netting.
"I can't remember the last time Lennon Kayhill knocked before she stepped foot in my house. What has the world come to?" a booming deep southern voice said.
Lennon laughed and pulled the screen open. Deacon pulled her in for a bear hug before he grabbed her suitcase and brought it in.
"Now let me look at you," he said, slowly twirling Lennon around. She let out a small laugh and waited for the result of his appraisal.
"It's good to see fame hasn't gotten to you," he said with a smile.
Deacon had deep dimples in both his cheeks and curious dark eyes that looked like they knew something you wanted to.
"Come on, Charlotte and Beau are in the kitchen," he said, wrapping an arm around Lennon.
"It's good to be back," Lennon said, resting her head on his shoulder.
"Darling it's good to have you," he said.
Charlotte's kitchen hadn't changed a bit since the last time Lennon had been there. It smelled of rich coffee and waffles.
"Look who stumbled in," Deacon said loudly, presenting Lennon to Charlotte.
"Oh sweetie I'm so happy you made it. You must be exhausted. Do you want food first or sleep?" She asked.
She was standing at the stove, something crackling on the pan.
"Food," Lennon said, giving her a hug from behind and then hopping up to her usual spot on the counter.
"Do you need help?" she asked, as she watched Charlotte juggle bacon on the griddle and the waffle iron.
"No, no, no lovey. You stay right where you are. I got this and Deacon will set the table. I don't want you to lift a finger."
Lennon sat and let the familiarity of the kitchen and people relax her.
When they sat at the table, Beau, Charlotte and Deacon's floppy eared bloodhound, took up residence under the table on the hunt for scraps.
Lennon started to clear the dishes when the meal was over but Charlotte kicked her out of the kitchen. She slowly wandered back to the room that was the most familiar to her. She sank into the big cream couch and rested her head against the back.
It surprised her how familiar it felt even after being gone for years. She had watched countless movies sitting in the same spot she was in and spent so many hours in this room it felt like it was a part of her.
She curled her feet up and settled into the corner as she let her eyes drift over the pictures dotted throughout the room. Her body felt tired and she nestled into the couch. Her eyes started to feel heavy and the last thing she remember was someone draping a blanket over her before she fell asleep.
*************
When Lennon woke, the light had shifted in the room. It was bright and even with the air conditioning on, she could feel the fringes of heat, fighting to get in. She smiled at a sleeping Beau, curled up next to the couch where she was. She wandered towards the kitchen and smiled when she heard a quiet humming.
"Hey Lovey, how was your nap?" Charlotte asked.
She stood at the counter making a pie.
"Much needed," Lennon said, eating a few blueberries before she hopped up on the counter.
"I'm glad you slept."
"How long was I out?" She asked, looking to the stovetop.
"A long time. But I'm glad. I worry about you on tour."
"I sleep on tour. Trust me, there is a lot of down time with traveling and I have found sleeping is the best way to kill it."
"Well I'm happy to hear that."
Lennon watched as Charlotte carefully placed the top of the pie over the blueberries and used her finger to create a scalloped edging.
"This pie won't take long. Do you want to get cleaned up and then we can go?" Charlotte asked.
"Yeah," Lennon said, hopping down.
She felt more like a person after a shower and she sat quietly on the guest bed, brushing out her wet hair. Charlotte had kept the room clean and tidy but the wear of years was apparent. The ruffles on the duvet and pillowcases were outdated and the yellow had faded into a dirty white. The small wooden desk across the room had scratch marks up and down the legs and there was writing on the desk. Lennon put down the brush and walked to the desk, her finger tracing the messy handwriting of a young child, secret messages passed back n forth.
She fit her finger into a notch missing on the left side and moved her hand up to the top where a group of stickers had slowly become a part of the wood over the years. She smiled, each dent and marking a fond memory. A few minutes later, Charlotte called up to her and she answered, heading downstairs.
*************
The afternoon was warm as they followed the paved path they knew so well.
"Do you want me to come along?" Charlotte asked.
Lennon thought about.
"Actually, if you don't mind - "
"No problem lovey. I'll wander that way in a little while."
"Thanks."
Lennon walked the last hundred yards by herself and cut across the grass, winding through the gravestones until she found the one she was looking for. There were fresh flowers already laying above the stone. She added her bunch of sunflowers and sank onto her knees.
She studied the dark stone and the dates and words carved into it and the more she studied the words and numbers, the more it didn't make sense. What value could a few dates and vaguely descriptive words hold?
Even an endless amount of words etched into the cold stone couldn't begin to touch the warm and vibrant life it attempted to represent. But there wasn't any physical thing in the world that could hold all of a person. Her memories came the closest but even those were only faint echoes. But maybe faint echoes was all she could hope for.
"I'm touring," she started. "I'm opening for a really big band and it's been a crazy ride. I've made some great friends. You know about Ace and Max but I've met Noah and Will and Jessie and they are a lot of fun.
"I get to go to Europe! Can you believe I get to go to Europe? And the crowds are huge and it's like nothing I've ever experienced in my life."
She stopped and looked back at the stone. She couldn't stop the guilty feeling she got, thinking she shouldn't be experiencing these things without the person who meant so much to her.
"I think about you a lot. When I have to make a decision, I think about what you would say. If you would approve of my choice? I hear your voice telling me 'Lenny, be who you are' and your words guide me."
She wasn't sure how long she had sat there in silence when she heard faint footsteps coming up behind her. She turned and saw Charlotte approaching. She stood and walked into her open arms. They stood in silence together, their arms around each other, looking at the stone. The sun was low in the sky, casting an orange light over everything.
"You wanna grab some ice cream?" Charlotte asked.
"Yeah, let's go," Lennon said.
***********
"I saw your father the other day. Benjamin is getting so big," Charlotte said as they grabbed a table with their ice cream.
"That's right, they were back for a family event. They told me about it last week."
"I ran into them here. Benjamin had ice cream all over his face."
Lennon laughed, picturing her little half-brother.
"He's constantly talking now, it's amazing!" Lennon said.
"It really is. And your father seems to be doing good. Julie has been good for him."
"She has," she agreed.
She looked up when Charlotte was silent to find a serious look on her face.
"Sweetie, everyone grieves in different ways and everyone has to move on in their own way and their own time."
"They mentioned I hadn't visited for a while, didn't they?" Lennon asked, giving her a curious look.
Her dad had remarried years ago and Lennon hadn't had a problem with it then and she certainly didn't now.
"They might have mentioned it," Charlotte said.
"I've been busy," Lennon said, feeling like she didn't need an explanation. "You know how it is. I wasn't able to see you in forever. I said I would try to visit."
"And they know that - "
"But they still worry. Its like they don't believe that I am ok with them," she said with a small laugh.
This was a familiar topic between her and Charlotte.
She could remember her dad's nervous face when her told her he had met someone and how timid Julie had been the first time they had met. Lennon liked Julie. She was nice and cheery and took away any worry Lennon might have if her dad was living on his own but she couldn't give Julie what she wanted. Julie had been looking for a close mother/daughter relationship and Lennon hadn't been in a place in her life to give it.
"I think its just that you were distant through their engagement and marriage," Charlotte said.
"But they know that had nothing to do with them," she countered.
"I know that, baby girl, it's just hard for them to not take your distance personally. Maybe just visit, even if it's just for a few days."
"I am," Lennon said. "I'm heading there after I leave you."
Charlotte relaxed her shoulders.
"Good."
Lennon's gaze drifted to the scene outside, the light slowly fading in the distance. Charlotte shifted in her seat and Lennon looked at her.
"So, how's Kade?"
Charlotte had been going for a casual tone but it sounded forced.
"Fine."
"And you're still sure - ?
"I am," Lennon said confidently. "Its not ideal but already what I am getting out of it has changed everything."
"You would have changed everything on your own," Charlotte said.
Lennon smiled at Charlotte's unbending support.
"I know, this way just allows me to get where I want to go faster."
Charlotte gave her a studied look.
"As long as you are sure," she said.
"I am," Lennon said.
**********************************************************************
Heyo!
So guys I have to tell you. I have a train bae! He's not really my train bae, we just happen to ride the same train in the morning and evening. I have decided to call him Trevor. Who knows if he even knows I exist. *wistful sigh* I guess it was a love that was only meant to live in my head. Awe well! Such is life, at least I have Lennon and Kade!
Also I hit 200 views!! That blows my mind, didn't think it would happen! Thank you all so much!! 😊
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