Songfic (sort of) for "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! At The Disco
"Oh...well imagine..." You sing in a fake deep voice, trying to sound like Brendon Urie. "As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor..."
You're currently in the shower, singing at the top of your lungs. Your phone is sitting on the counter, and the music is all the way up. Your eyes are squeezed tightly shut as to not get shampoo in them.
"And I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words!" You shout, rather out of tune. You laugh to yourself.
"(Y/N)..." someone calls, but you don't hear them. You're too busy singing.
"What a beautiful wedding!"
"(Y/N)?" That someone says again. It's Phil. He's standing on the other side of the bathroom door.
"What a beautiful wedding, says a bridesmaid to a waiter!"
Phil smiles when he hears you singing.
"And yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor grooms bride is a-"
"-Very beautiful woman!" Phil shouts over the word 'whore'.
"Phil?" You shout over the noise of the shower and the music playing on your phone.
"Dan and I are going out to pick up the suits, okay?" Phil says loudly.
"Okay!"
"The shop's kind of far away away, so we'll probably be back in two hours or more-"
"What a shame the poor grooms bride is a whore!" You continue singing.
Phil shakes his head and smiles to himself. "I'll see you, (Y/N)!" He calls. "Love you!"
"Love you too!"
Today you, Dan, and Phil are going to wedding for one of Dan and Phil's friends. Phil invited you to be his plus one, and of course you accepted. (Seeing as you are his girlfriend.)
You already picked up your dress earlier today, so you were planning on getting ready while Phil and Dan got their suits.
And this wedding was the reason you have the ever classic 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies' stuck in your head.
You rinse the shampoo from your hair and finish washing up, humming the entire time.
You turn off the shower and open the door. You step out onto the wet tile floor.
"I chime in with a haven't you people ever heard of!" You continue singing. "Closing the-!"
Suddenly your singing is interrupted. Whilst reaching for a towel, your feet slip on the wet floor tiles. You let out a short scream of surprise when you go flying forward toward the door. You reach blindly for the door handle, but just end up falling to the ground.
You groan and sit up, rubbing you head with your hand. But there's something in your hand. You look down in shock. The doorknob.
You whip your head up to look back at the door. When you grabbed the doorknob, your fall must've made it rip right out of the door.
"Only I would manage to break a door..." You mutter.
You stand up and inspect the door, only to find that you are, in fact, correct. The doorknob is clean off. The door is broken.
Your eyes widen as you realize that this means you're stuck in the bathroom until Phil and Dan come back. For two hours.
Not to mention the fact that you just got out of the shower, so you're only wearing a towel.
You sigh and look around the small bathroom. There's a pile of Phil's pyjamas in the corner from when he got a shower before you. They'll be a little big, but it's better than wearing nothing.
You pull Phil's blue shirt over your head. You put on his Star Wars pyjama pants next. They're a bit uncomfortable considering they're too big and you have nothing else on underneath them.
"Oh! Well in fact-!"
You scream again when you hear Brendon Urie's voice in your bathroom, but quickly relax when you realize your phone is still on the counter next to the sink, playing music.
"Well I'll look at it this way I mean, technically, our marriage is saved!" You sing along, despite the fact that you're stuck in your washroom.
"Well this calls for a toast so pour the champagne, pour the-"
Your singing is cut off for the second time this morning when the music volume on your phone is replaced by a short ding.
You walk over to your phone, careful not to slip and fall this time, and check your text messages. It's from Phil.
Phil♡: hey love! Just for um, research purposes...send me a pic of you in your dress pls? ^-^
You open your phone's camera and aim it at the mirror. Once you take the mirror selfie, you look at the picture.
It makes you laugh. You're standing there, shoulders slumped, with an unamused expression plastered across your face. Instead of wearing your beautiful dress for the wedding, you're dressed in Phil's wrinkled pyjamas. Instead of having your hair done in an intricate hairdo, it's wet from the shower and falling in your face.
You send Phil that picture.
(Y/N): [Image attached]
You put 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies' back on as you wait for Phil's reply.
"No! It's much better to face these kind of things, with a sense of poise and rationality!"
Your phone vibrates in your hand. Wow. Phil has never replied to a text faster.
Phil♡: [Image attached]
I'm Dan in that gif right now. What's going on? Why are you in pyjamas?😧(you still look good though!)
You laugh at the fact that he used his own gif. You're about to type a reply when another text comes in.
Phil♡: Call me?
You quickly tap Phil's contact, then press call.
"(Y/N)?" Phil's voice on the other end answers immediately. "What's wrong? Why aren't you getting ready? Are you okay? Did someone break in and you had to take refuge in the bathroom? Was it a freak tornado? Did a rabid dog get into the flat and chase you into the bathroom? Did-"
"Phil," you say calmly, giggling a little. "I'm fine, don't worry. None of that stuff happened."
"Oh." Phil says simply. "Then what did happen?"
"Well..." You wince. "Funny story, that is..."
"I'd really like to hear it," Phil says, on the verge of laughing.
You bite your lips as you explain. "I kind of...locked myself in the bathroom."
There's a slight pause before Phil breaks out laughing. "(Y/N)," he says. "How?"
"When I got out the shower, I kind of slipped and fell-"
"Are you okay-?"
"-Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. But..."
"But...?"
"But I took the doorknob down with me," you say dramatically.
Phil laughs again. "What?"
"When I fell, I reached for the doorknob, but I somehow yanked it out of the door?" You sigh at how ridiculous your story sounds. "I don't know! Just when will you be home?"
"Sorry, (Y/N), but we haven't even gotten to the shop yet," Phil replies.
"I'm stuck in here for two hours then?" You groan.
"Guess so. You have your phone, why don't you vlog or something?"
You started your YouTube channel way before you met Phil, but ever since the two of you started dating, you've gotten a lot more subscribers. Not that you really care, though. You love YouTube no matter how many subscribers you have.
"I'm sure this would make a great video, Phil," you say sarcastically.
"I think it would!" He laughs.
"Fine!" You can't help but laugh. "I'll vlog my fun bathroom adventure! No, wait, that sounds weird."
"That does sound weird," Phil agrees. "What about an I Write Sins Not Tragedies pun? You've been singing that song since you found out about the wedding."
You laugh. "That's perfect! I'll go film now. Bye, Phil!"
"Bye love!"
After you hang up, you open the camera app and switch it to video.
"Hi guys!" You wave at the screen. "If you're wondering where I am and why I look like this, I have a story to tell you..." You clear your throat.
"And this story is called...Haven't You People Ever Heard Of Breaking The Goddamn Door."
♡fin♡
Ahhhhh I cursed I'm sorry!!!!
::sigh::
I'm too innocent for this...