Normani's POV:
"We really don't have to stay the whole time Z, it's no big deal" I say shrugging.
"But I want to Mani, I would really like to hear what you have so far for your album" she says to me with the sweetest of smiles "Please just sit for a minute"
I smile and shrug "We could stay for like thirty minutes I guess, but then I have to get back to Lauren" I say and take a spot on the leather chair.
"She's expecting you?"
I raise a brow "Of course she's expecting me Zen"
"No.. I'm saying like do you ever go home. You seem to always be there"
I chuckle slightly baffled "Why is that any of your concern?"
She laughs "Forget it.."
"No tell me" I raise a brow.
"You're my concern, I worry about you.." She murmurs "I think she's a nice girl and all, I don't think she's right for you however. I know you Mani"
"What? You don't know enough about her to make those assumptions"
"I know enough about you" she smiles softly "I know you're perfect for one. Never in my life have I seen someone so perfect, all around. Inside and out. It's quite addicting -"
"Zendaya.." I murmur trying to cut her off.
"You're so addicting Normani. I honestly don't think I can fall in love with anyone else the way I happen to be with you" she reaches inside of her wallet and pulls something out.
"Remember this?" She holds the picture out to me.
It's a picture of me holding on to her waist and laughing. I remember that picture. Right before we took it she said 'Here I'll hold my neck back so you can kiss it' and her adorableness is why I laughed.
"I remember.." I murmur quietly.
"Don't you miss this? Us?" She questions with a frown.
"I missed us. Yes. But I'm over it now Z, how could I miss you when you're right here. This is enough for me"
"So you're saying you don't miss what we had?"
I sigh "Z, I really want you in my life. But the only way you're staying is if you accept your role as a friend. I really want to be friends with you but you are making this so hard. Just when I was finally able to push all of those feelings away so that we could be friends, you're trying to bring them back out. It's not fair"
"What's wrong with that?" She pouts.
"There's so much fucking wrong with that Zendaya. I love Lauren with all of my heart & I see myself growing far into the future with her" I shake my head "What we had was the past. A good past yeah. A past that I'm so sorry for ruining. But I'm so fucking happy with her, there's no way in hell past memories of us will change that. Even pictures as cute a this"
She looks up at the ceiling for a second and then looks me back into the eyes with a forced smile "Well where are these songs of yours?"
"Actually my book with the rest of the songs is out in the car I have to go get it.."
"Cool I'll walk with you.."
We both stand and make our way to the car as we get closer to the car she rests her hand on my lower back as we walk. I roll my eyes. She just doesn't get it.
Once we reach the car I snap my neck back to her and grab her hand off "Z, I think I'm going to just go"
"What why? I can't even touch you now?" She frowns a little.
"I'll show you the songs another time" I say and try to walk over to the driver side of my truck but she grabs my arm.
"Look I'm sorry.." She murmurs, shaking her head.
"You have to realize that we are never going to happen Zendaya or I can't see you at all again, not even for the song. It's not fair to Lauren, it's not fair to me either"
As I talk she rubs her hand up and down the skin of my arm. It's sad, I know each word I say to her is a dagger jamming into her heart, but I mean them. So it's time to let her know.
"See?! Like this. Why are rubbing on my arm like that" I say pulling it away "And looking at my lips?"
"Because it's taking everything in me not to kiss them" she husks in a low voice.
She continues while taking a step closer & I take a step back "Every since seeing you again a month ago I've been trying to remember what they felt like against mine" she looks me in the eyes and then back down to my lips. "& it's killing me that it's been so long that I can't even remember the feeling" she reveals to me her feelings in a whispered tone.
She brings her hand up to my face, slowly pulling my bottom lip down with her thumb.
"I want us Mani" she frowned "If you want this, just don't say a word. Don't think too hard" she whispers "We'll deal with Laurens feelings later, we can hold off on telling until you want to"
She's trying so hard to break me. But I'm strong. I'm strong enough to resist the temptation. I know what I want.
"Zendaya" I grunt pushing her off of me, she stumbles back a few steps and sighs. "You're ruining everything, I'm fucking leaving" I continue with a scowl on my face and turn to make my way to the drivers seat.
"Wait! no Mani don't go! Please" She pleads catching back up to me.
Once she reached me she grabbed my face with both hands and quickly pushed her lips into mine.
I groan loudly and push myself out of the kiss and we both stumble back. "Why the fuck would you do that?!" I scold her.
She frowns, clearly hoping for a different reaction. Maybe she thought this kiss would bring back sparks or fireworks that I once had. But it didn't, it fucking didn't.
She reaches for my arm again "I'm sorry, wait! I'm sorry Mani.. I just thought -"
I hold my hands up in a 'don't touch me' way "Don't put your hands on me. This.. We're done! I'm never seeing you again" I scoff.
Even those words hurt me. This is exactly what I didn't want. I didn't want to push her out of my life again. I I love Zendaya, I truly do. But not that way anymore. Lauren is doing a great job of filling my entire heart. It doesn't even have room for anyone else at this point.
"Mani.." She calls as I walk away "Normani! Pleasee"
I open the door and climb inside. I hit the start button and look through my mirror. She kicks someone else's tire on their car and grabs at her head with one hand, bringing the other to her hip. Her face is full of tears.
I sigh and pull off still looking through my mirror she walks over the the curb and melts into the ground. I left her twice. Twice.
Once I reach a red light I finally feel tears forming in my eyes. Why? Just why couldn't she accept that we were friends. It was enough for me, I had her back around and I had Lauren.
Now all of this is overwhelming. I need to yell Lauren because secrets only fuck shit up but I don't want to tell her, she would kill her.
I can't go home to Lauren tonight, I can't face her. I need someone to talk to, someone that will understand.
I call Jilly and after a few rings she answers "Hello?"
"Hello"
"Hello? Mani? What's wrong?" She questions with concern in her voice, hearing the way I sound.
"Can I just.. Can I stay with you for tonight please?"
"Yes come over .. Of course. What's going on?"
"I'm on my way.." I say before I hang up.
It takes me about twenty-five minutes to get there. I go up and knock on the door and she lets me in almost instantly.
"What's wrong? Please tell me what happened?" She frowns as we walk over to the couch. "Was it Lauren? What did she do?"
"Lauren didn't do anything.. It was Zendaya."
"Oh?" She raised her brows "You didn't Mani.." She frowned.
I knew exactly what she was insinuating. I furrowed her brows slightly offended "Jilly, you know me, I would never do that. No matter who it is"
Jilly sighed "I know, I'm sorry I just had to make sure. Well what happened?"
"We were at the studio going over some business for the song & she started coming on to me. Like hard. It's crazy because we hung out a few times since reconnecting , we even text and talk on the phone and everything was chill.. You know.. platonic for the most part." I shook my head.
"Well, I didn't tell you this but a little while a ago she basically admitted that she was still in love with me and hadn't been in love since I left."
Jilly twisted her lips into a crooked frown "Mani that's sad"
"I know.. I know how much she cares about me and in all honesty if I didn't have Lauren, her coming back into my life would've been the best thing to ever happen to me. But that's not the case, Lauren is the best thing to ever happen" she frowned.
"I didn't know you really felt this strongly towards Lauren. Wow. I've never seen you so in love since.. Zendaya" she leaned in a little "What happened tonight?"
"She kissed me"
"Shit!" Jilly raised her brows.
"I know it's all fucked up, I left her in the middle of a damn parking lot crying" she frowned "I feel bad, so bad. But what was I supposed to do Jilly, I told her that we weren't go to happen but she couldn't accept that"
"Yeah.. Mani don't feel bad. Not at all. She's the one who forced you to choose by doing that and you chose Lauren"
I nodded "Exactly.." My face still kind of frowned.
"Did you tell Lauren?"
"I just happened.. You're the first person I called. I needed my bestfriend" I responded and she pulled me into a hug.
"I'm always going to be here for you mani. It's my job to be on your side" she let me go and grabbed my shoulders looking me in the eyes "Are you going to tell her?"
"Yes? Should I?" I questioned softly.
"Sleep on it baby" she smiled softly and kissed my cheek "I love you"
"I love you too" I smiled a closed lip smile "and thank you"
"No problem" she said finally letting go of my shoulders "I don't know about you, but im tired. You sleeping with me?"
"Yeah I'm tried too, I need some clothes" I said as she stood off of the couch.
"Come on"
//
"Jilly.. Shit she's calling" she said showing her bestfriend the screen with a cute picture of her and her girlfriend.
"Answer mani you have to" Jilly twisted her lips "hurry, don't tell her over the phone though. Who knows how she'll take it"
The brown girl nodded and hit the green accept button.
On the other side of the call Lauren was fiddling with her neckless. The one that Normani had the other half to. She always did this when she was nervous or anxious.
Once the brown girl picked up with and hello she sighed in relief and ran her hand though her hair "Hey baby" she said in her relieved, satisfied tone "It's really late where are you?"
"I'm at Jillys"
"Jillys? It's 1 am.. What's going on?" She questioned, not knowing if she believed one hundred percent seeing as though Zendaya was who she was with.
"Wait Lo have you been drinking?" She questioned hearing her girlfriends slurred words.
"No ..no I'm just tired and I miss you so much" she whined.
"Lauren, tell me the truth"
"Okaaay okay, I might've had a few. After you left I met up with Keana and Liam"
"Lauren" Normani sighed "you know I hate when you drink and I'm not around, you didn't drink too much did you?"
"I'm fine" she sat on the couch twirling her necklace, still looking down at it "You're with Jilly?"
"Yes, I just had a lot on my mind. I needed to think"
"About whaaat?" She whined "We're okay right mani? I miss you.. I love you"
"Yes baby we're fine" as she responded she looked over to Jilly who was listening in on the conversation "You know what, I'm coming there. Get in bed Lo, if you fall asleep it's fine I have a key"
Lauren smiled softly on the other end of the phone "Okay, I love you"
"I love you more.." Normani said and hung up.
Jilly looked on not really knowing what to say.
"I have to go Jilly, I think she's still drinking"
Her bestfriend nodded and Normani proceeded to climb out of the bed.
"It's a long ride, call me if you think you'll fall asleep or something"
"Will do. Give me a hug" she walked around the the other side of the bed and pulled her in "I love you"
"I love you too manz" Once they pulled out Jilly looked at her with concern "Everything is okay, shit happens for a reason. Maybe you didn't need her in your life anyway."
"You're right"
"I'm always right, no go get your girl" she teased sticking her tongue out.
Normani chuckled and went over to one of Jillys draws full of clothes. She knew where everything was.
"Hey! Get out of my shit" Jilly laughed from the bed.
"Shut up I'm just getting some sweats to slide on. By the way you ain't getting this hoodie back, it fits me better" she shrugged with a chuckle.
"Whatever hoe" Jilly laughed "you're the rich one, I should be stealing your clothes"
Normani rolled her eyes as she slid into the sweats "bye girl, you already do!"
"And I'm taking these" she said and slid her feet into some flip flops.
Jilly shook her head at her bestfriend "Bye manz, lock the door on your way out"
The brown girl excited the home and proceeded to make her way to the car. She climbed in and pulled off almost immediately.
The ride was about forty minutes to Laurens house & as she drove she prayed the entire time that she was wrong about Lauren still drinking and that she listened to her and was in bed alseep.
After the long drive with music blasting to keep her awake. She climbed out of her car and up to Laurens home. She was at this moment happy that Lauren gave her a key so that if she was asleep she wouldn't wake her by knocking.
As she rumbled through her bag looking for it her phone went off, it was Jilly.
Jillz✊🏾👯:
Shit.. Normani look at this! It's every fucking where (image attached)
She was going to ignore it until she got in the house. But another one came though.
Jillz✊🏾👯:
MANI! Holy shit (image attached)
And another one.
Jillz✊🏾👯:
Oh my god (image attached)
She opened up the images and gasped, almost dropping her phone. She blinked hard and looked again but what she saw the first time was true.
She brought her hand to her mouth, scrolling to the pictures, flicking her thumb over the screen. Not believing her eyes.
She locked the phone through it in her bag and quickly found the keys, putting them in the door.
She slowly creeped the door open and pitch blackness spread throughout the whole house. However she managed to see a figure sitting on the couch, slouched over with her hands on her head.
"I trusted you" a muffled voice of a person that was clearly crying not too long ago, filled the room.
"I fucking trusted you"
A/N:
BLOOOOOOOP
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