Misery was very apparent on his face, It made her sad, but she didn't know how to help him,
"You can dry off in the bathroom it's that way, just go straight then left seodulleo ! (hurry up!) i don't want you getting sick," she scolded,
"I.. don't want to impose," he finally spoke, after nothing the whole way accept a quiet thank you in gratitude for the offer indoors "Are you kidding? you're not one bit now kaja oppa!" he sighed as she moved him forward,
He left into the bathroom & closed the door, stood for a few moments overwhelmed with everything he was feeling all at once, his eyes burned with tears, he couldn't breath, he wanted nothing more than to drop to the floor & do a silent prayer to god for saving him, then silently cry till there were no tears left, the fact that he almost died scared him,
Zhou mi couldn't see himself inflicting self harm but sometimes wondered if he would get pushed to that point... When it's gone on for this long.. he didn't know anymore.., they made him question everything,
Quietly baring they're psychical & psychological attacks for three years was taking it's toll,
He had his reasons for keeping it all quiet.., he learned a long time ago when he'd go to his elders & teachers before in desperation for some sort of help, he found out they (his bullies) did not bluff on they're threats.. so he stopped altogether,
But no matter how miserable they made it for him, he always willed himself to stay resilient,
The last thing he'd ever want was to hurt his precious mother & sisters in ending his own life, it would shatter them,
Not to mention his father, who was recently in bad health, although at times he made zhou mi felt like he was a disappointment to him, zhou mi still loved him dearly,
The emotions were getting to him now, he was completely upset & exhausted, tears silently rolled down his face, there was a knock on the door, The knock ended his inscrutable behavior & he suddenly snapped out of his despondent state,
"Zhou mi-shi are you okay..?" hyoyeon asked, He wiped his eyes and was about to reply when the cold sensation finally hit him, as he realized he was still dawning wet clothes, he slipped the gray cardigan off & trembled anxiously pulling the freezing damp t'shirt off his goose bump covered skin, he shivered,
"Yes i'm fine, he replied back, he was use to lying now, so he even sounded believable.."I'm just not decent," he added
"Lend me you're clothes i'll take them to the dryer for you" she opened the door slightly & he handed them to her,
"Don't worry about anything else!" hyoyeon said, trying to help in anyway she could, It made him smile a little,
He rubbed his arms up & down to hinder the goose bumps,
He stared into the mirror, he had a two choices, let himself have an emotional breakdown? or he could be strong & not let it all tear him apart, he took a deep breath & closed his eyes choosing right then an there to hold it all together,
He exhaled & rubbed his neck it felt good, because he felt like he strained it earlier so he gave himself a shoulder & neck massage, Closing his eyes he rubbed gentle but deeply, finally he treated himself to something soothing as this,
--
Hyoyeon was busy, having already placed the clothes in the dryer, she then put out food for them to eat & searched for dry clothes for zhou mi,
"Get yourself together zhou mi, he told himself, He turned the blow dryer on, on his damp hair & started fixing it afterwards, fluffing & moving pieces around in & out of his face, feeling better but not fully, then became surprised when a elder male opened the bathroom door, "Who are you? and why are you in my house.." his eyes widen "Half naked!" he yelled,
"Hyoyeon!" he called "Yes appa?" she answered walking up as she then glanced at shirtless zhou mi, "Oh! she reacted grabbing a big towel & gave it to him, "I'm sorry zhou mi oppa, he quickly covered himself with it, Kind of still stunned about her father bursting in, "Sir mianhaeyo!" he bowed & apologized nervously for his indecency in front of his senior,
"It's not what it looks like appa!" hyoyeon said, "Then who is this?" he demanded,
"Appa he's zhou mi, henry's best friend," And.. she stopped "That doesn't answer the question i asked," he said,
"He's here because.. uh" she stopped because she didn't know what to say & what happened with him,
"Um..I had an accident at the water fountain i stumbled & fell in," i was just drying off sir.. maybe i should go,"
Hyoyeon sighed, "No you don't zhou mi-shi you didn't do anything wrong, she said showing her trademark spunk,
"It's very cold out" she added then turned to her dad, "And he needed to be inside.. our house was closest so..,
"..Fine alright hyoyeon-ah, i get what you're telling me, but a shirtless boy in my bathroom when i arrive, what do you expect me to think?"
"If my being here is any trouble i can go.." zhou mi insisted again, "No! you're staying, and you have to eat remember i promised to bring us food, it's in the kitchen, it's better food, instead of the junk i bought at first," come on you, grabbing his hand,
"Hyoyeon-ah.. he gasped, grimacing from pain, but hoped she didn't notice.. apparently she bothered his wrist that was sore & bruised, "Did i do something?" she asked, "No, he smiled faintly, biting his lip after she turned around, "Appa join us?"
"No no thank you dear but it's fine," mr kim replied, "Oh okay, then she left to the kitchen, "Are you feeling okay, mr kim then asked zhou mi sensing something, zhou mi knew not to hesitate in replying to adults because they'd figure it out, "Yes i'm doing well sir," he answered quickly, he was slightly suspicious at the tall boy,
But before he left to his office zhou mi spoke again
"Mr Kim, you're daughter is very generous & caring.. i've learned that in only one day... i'm glad to know her," he told him sincerely, "Thank you," he noticed zhou mi's thin & seemingly "frail" frame, and added, "You take care of yourself ok..," Zhou mi nodded politely & bowed as he left, but was left with a feeling of regret,
Outside
As henry walked home from sh he spotted sooyeon "Yah! (Hey!)" purposely sounding rude, just as rude as she unnecessarily treated him in school, "Excuse me.. are you talking to me?" sooyeon asked in english offended, "Yeah i am," henry replied back in english, she looked him up & down i'm older than you are.." she replied, "Yeah by only months yet it doesn't give you the right the to act like you're better than me, so sorry i don't feel like being formal," henry stated
"That's great!', rolling her eyes, "Because whatever you have to say, i don't have time for it," Sooyeon said about to continue on her way home, "Stay away zhou mi.." he said strongly, she stopped & paused for a moment then spoke,
"Who are you again to even care" she asked, "Oh just his best friend, you've seen me around," henry huffed,
"What? does it help to block out the people u judge?" he asked,
"I'm not going to be treated like this, & i'm sure oppa make up his own mind, he doesn't need you too,"
"Oppa? ok i don't know what you're trying to do.." henry continued sooyeon then scoffed, "But stay away,"
"Sucks being on the other side of rudeness doesn't it? he added,
"You don't even know me," she retorted, "I know enough everyone does thanks to you're on display high & mighty attitude at school, "Playing with someone's feeling's isn't a joke you could hurt him" henry mentioned
"He doesn't seem like he could become easily hurt, maybe he's stronger then you give him credit for," she retorted
"I don't know why you're interested in him out of nowhere but whatever you're doing i'm not going to let you use him,
"If i want to continue seeing zhou mi-shi i will, why would i have any intention of listening to you? she asked annoyed,
"The type of guy he is &the type you are.. don't mix & zhou mi is too nice to tell you, so i am" henry stated,
"Do you think i care what you think of me?" sooyeon asked "I don't have to explain my interest to you at all, so you can save you're breath in asking," sooyeon shot back,
"That's funny you could've saved you're breath on that phony apology you gave to him & a kiss.. that's going pretty far in you're joke" henry asked pissed off, she then looked stunned he knew, "Don't go near my brother..," henry demanded then walked away,
It hit sooyeon how she affected people with her judgmental & cold behavior, she didn't like showing weakness, after she broke up with wooyoung, (for a reason she can't tell him..) but that wasn't the way to be, what could she do now, being a b*tch to people was an act, well it started that way & after doing it for so long, it was expected of her, now she can't take any of it back, at least zhou mi actually forgave her, even though she probably didn't deserve it..
Hyoyeon's home dining area
"You're hair looks really fluffy now haha," hyoyeon blurted, he laughed as she stopped herself from touching it,
"Eat well zhou mi-shi," she told, by now he'd gotten his black sleeveless undershirt back from the dryer & wore it but still shyly had the towel around his shoulders an neck, "Sorry the rest needs to dry longer, she said "It's fine, he assured,
Although he was beyond hungry he was hesitant seeing as lately he couldn't keep food down,
"This is really good," he added, "Chinja? oh thank you, i made it," he smiling his usual bright cute smile,
"It's only me & my appa here so i made sure to learn to cook," hyoyeon said brightly, zhou mi looked somewhat concerned, slowly moving his chopsticks in the cold noodles, she noticed, "Oh Don't worry i'm fine, i never met my umma before she left, "I'm kinda a daddy's girl anyway, she admitted "Thanks again for the meal," he said again, "No problem"
Moments later they both finished, he offered to help with the dishes but she rejected him, he pouted, "I got an idea!" hyoyeon blurted out, then lead him upstairs,
Room
To a room that didn't seem like it belonged to a girl, She started going through the drawers & the closet, "Is this you're room?" zhou mi causally asked looking around curious to know, "Oh no," she answered
"Here! They're are my older's brother's," as she held out a folded long sleeved dark shirt & comfortable jacket, "He doesn't use them anymore because he's not here," she added, "Not here?" he thought,
"They're pretty casual & warm, the jacket is for when you leave, she smiled, "I'm sure they'll fit you, he was tall just like you," she spoke fondly,
Zhou mi glanced at her & thought she had alot of strength, "Are you okay?" he asked softly,
"Hm? yeah, oh hope you don't mind but there isn't many other colors, he wore a lot of black" she faintly smiled,
"I.. miss him a lot," she added, zhou mi was briefly silent, he didn't know how to go about asking about her brother,
"What was his name?" he asked, "Seulong, she replied "Hyo-ah.. I'm so sorry.. he began, "Why? she asked, "Seulong is currently in service now he won't be back for a while..," hyoyeon stated, "Oh.. thank goodness, zhou mi uttered thinking the worst,
He smiled & took the clothes "Gasamhabnida," went into the connecting bathroom & changed
"It would have been a lot less trouble if i had you use this bathroom from the beginning" she laughed, "Right, he agreed leaving out, pulling down the rest of the shirt, it had a very comfortable & warm material, "I don't know how many times i can say thank you," he said rubbing his arm,
"Don't worry about it i'm glad i can help.., um.. zhou mi oppa? what happened.. before i returned to the park?" she asked,
He felt like he owed her something, seeing as she was partially scared when she found him how he was,
"I didn't want to bother if you didn't want to talk about it," hyoyeon admitted, "You're not It's just.. i i really don't want to involve you," He expressed, "Those guys i saw leaving .. did they do something to you?" she asked
He then stopped her questions by revealing what happened & the reason being naeun & her untruths,
"They claimed it was payback for what she said i'd done, he finished She was taken aback,
"That is Bullying.. they can't just do that you!" she emphasized, "Zhou mi-shi i'm so sorry i wish i never left you there alone" she cried,
"Hyoyeon-ah.. it honestly wouldn't have stopped them.. they do whatever they want regardless, he indicated then realized he said to much, "You mean they've done this to you before.. she asked shocked,
His silence told her yes, "That's not right!! you have to tell someo..." she began,
"I can't!... okay" he huffed, "But they have to be stopped you don't deserve this.. no one does.." she told him,
"..Yes but it's my problem & i can't involve you..." zhou mi exclaimed, "I feel like i already am after defending you against that girl earlier, she's the one responsible for this i'll make her pay for her lies, i'm reporting her & those jerks to school authorities, they won't get away with this," hyoyeon ranted,
"Hyoyeon-ah... stop.. he uttered softly then sat on the bed, "They already have been.. he added,
She sat down next to him, "What? she questioned confused, he took a moment then began revealing everything
The nonstop physical & mental attacks, how long it's gone on for & why he couldn't ask for help,
"Zhou mi-shi i'm so sorry.." after being stunned "You don't have to apologize, they think they've won by my silence but it's somewhat beneficial to me in keeping them away from those i love" he said,
"If that's what it takes I don't care what they do to me,
"But it's not stopping them they'll continue, zhou mi-shi, you can't live like this,"
"Hyoyeon-ah those guys don't care about ethics or morals or who they hurt, nothing, they only care about bringing you misery, zhou mi explained, "I used to wonder if maybe something made them that way.. if they felt remorseful or could change, but i don't anymore, "I've had no one to talk too but it was my choice, this wasn't even planned.." he continued,
"Don't you know by now you have a friend in me?" hyoyeon questioned, "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened just because you were close to me, just bc i've told you, i can't let people get too close.. i'm used to all of it now, "This isn't something to get used too," hyoyeon stated,
Tears unexpectedly formed in his eyes, "I've been at a lost of what to do, i stopped trying to help myself.. Because it's no use.. they usually find out who i've told & it's gets bad, he divulged his voice trembling,
"What will you do, you can't just give up," she asked, "For now i have to ask you.. to keep it a secret.. it doesn't have to be forever.." he requested, "If it's important not to say anything then for now i won't.." she told him, "It is," he replied,
"I feel really bad about this but henry can't know about any of this.., zhou mi told her, "I don't think.. i can lie to him, "This is what he felt was wrong.. he felt like he couldn't help you, isn't this too dire to keep from him," she asked,
"There is a reason just please?" he requested, "I'm sorry i.. have to think about it.." She then left the room,
She returned later to find him asleep on the bed, And decided to let him rest & give an answer later,
He awoke an hour later startled at the unfamiliar bedroom, he then went downstairs
"How long was i asleep?" he asked, "An hour," hyo replied, "I should head home now, thanks for everything..,
"Hm mh you're welcome, They now stood at her front door, "Soo i decided.. i won't tell him," she proclaimed,
"Thank you, i'm sorry for putting you in this situation, i promise you won't have to keep it for too long," he said, then for some reason took her into his arms & hugged her firmly,....
"I'm not sure why i did that.., mianhaeyo" he apologized, "It's ok.. you didn't do anything," hyoyeon replied surprised by the action, He'd felt a strange & ominous feeling that made him react in that way, "Goodbye, he said "Bye"
Outside
As he walked home an envelope fell from his backpack that was accidentally left partially unzipped,
He stopped & picked it up, He usually kept the most precious letters in a box safely in his room & some in his backpack because he needed them close to him & since he's usually at school he'll always have them near,
It was from someone he missed dearly..
"Gege it's me again, I still miss u ya know.. right? i'll never stop, your my big brother, my only brother how could i ever forget you, i can't wait to you again, I know it's going to be very soon!, I'll be a patient sister Wo ai ni zheme duo zhou mi!!," ~ Love Mi wu
Tears fell from his eyes he always thought his family especially his baby sister li wu.. his sisters would always write him, the letters showed they missed him just as much as he missed them & so touching that he felt so sorrowful for not always being there with them,
Li wu despite being nine, she'd always reassure him that she'd never ever forget him,
They'd come to visit him or he'd get to visit them soon either way, they'd meet again.
Still on the sidewalk he wiped his eyes, trying to stop his tears, "Well well," that voice belonged to himjae,
He with leebum & chuhan came out of no where & circled him before he could even react, "What's this? Leebum questioned snatching the letter from zhou mi's hand, "Can we see? wrinkling it as he read it,
Leebum constantly harassed zhou mi just because he could, School viewed him as being reckless & aggressive & didn't care if he ever got in trouble, students were scared of him, so noone dared to say a word about anything he did,
Himjae was about the same, he had a creepy way about him & basically just loved being an a**hole, he hated zhou mi because of he felt that zhou mi thought he was better than them, since the teachers praised & favored him,
"Remember when we said we'd see you again? hey" chuhan said with a smirk,
Zhou mi quickly ended his weak moment & spoke up, "Yes and thus continuously proving you have no daily live's.." zhoumi spoke in mandarin, "What was that??, chuhan questioned annoyed, "He gets bolder & bolder," Himjae sarcastically
"Don't you want your letter back?" himjae asked, I mean i would especially since it might end up in wrong hands,"
He tried not to let it get to him, or display weakness in front of them but eventually would,
He desperately wanted it back but wouldn't dare show it,
"Yah check this as if he already weren't one big sob story, leebum announced after reading,
"You know u should go back to china like your sister wants & get out of my country," leebum insisted,
"You lived in the states.." chuhan uttered to leebum, "Shut up.. himjae told him,
"Do whatever you're going to do.. get it over with.. zhoumi responded, "Can't we just give hurt like he wants?" chuhan asked, "Keep the letter i don't care, "We know you want it back.. bad" leebum claimed, "Try an get it," he dared,
"Is this it.. you're exciting daily lives? bothering me the highlight? is it what you wake up for? do you ever tired of this? it's sad really how miserable you actually all are.. but to you i'm pathetic so i'll try & get that letter when one of you try & get a life.. you know just giving u a push in the right direction.." zhou mi replied,
He wasn't to sure if he should have done that, but it was done, it felt good to say it,
"Done with this talking sh*t," leebum stated, before zhou mi knew it chuhan grabbed him harshly
"AAH!" zhou mi cried as he twisted it the pain felt damaging,
If he didn't know any better he was definitely trying to break it, either that or dislocate it, which has happened before..
they dragged him off the sidewalk, into a dark shortcut way to school where no one would be around
Chuhan truly enjoyed psychically hurting him, his good friend munjin however lately had backed off from harassing zhou mi every once in a while,
With himjae wanting to get his hands on nichkhun & being suspended by an anonymous student (kyuhyun)
leebum & his fight with wooyoung/ his gf sunmi & zhou mi accidentally punching him earlier.. and chuhan not needing a reason only his disturbing secret reason why he hated zhou mi so much, he was now over the naeun thing & even knew that she lied, they couldn't wait to take it out on they're favorite target,
"Substitution for that pretty boy, this should be quick, himjae smirked, his head hung tears falling from his eyes from the searing pain in his arm, chuhan still had the arm in his tight grip making him unable to defend himself, himjae then took a fistful of his hair and yanked it back, "AH!" zhou mi gasped as his head was forced upwards,
"Ahh!, he punched his jaw, then took the chance to jab him in the stomach leading to a gasp, himjae quickly kneed him in the abdomen after, it crumbled zhou mi, "You're gonna watch you're fcking mouth you sob," he warned then began kicking him constantly "Why do you get all the shots in? leebum scoffed then walked over, chuhan pulled zhou mi back up for him,
He landed a punch then kneed him even harder than the previous,
he swore he felt his rib crack, he collapsed again gasping for air & choking on his own blood,
"Next time you want to talk smart & act tough, don't.. Leebum threatened, "It'll just always get worst & worst for you, Himjae told him as he lay groaning on the ground, "Now who's pathetic? throwing the bawled up letter at him leaving him there,
It was getting worst & worst.. every incident, how much more of this can he take.. the pain was unbearable, he lay there hoping it would subside, it did not, eyes bleary with tears, trying to keep his eyelids open
Maybe he should give up on everything here, maybe he should go back to his home country...
"Your stronger than this... as he slipped out of consciousness,
....