Danny POV
....Breathe....Issues...afraid..lurk....serial killer...insanity....inhale....*wait a while*...exhale...now stop breathing. I've done some serious things, I don't belong here, I don't belong to breathe, I don't belong to see. Inhale all the smoke, exhale it out all you see is fog. All I see lately is darkness. I fell in love, how am I capable to even love? Does a dead heart..love? ........It's crazy, but I love my demons.
They sing to me, they dance with my angels, they kill, they sin....my monster adore them. Even my demons have demons. You might not see them, but their deep in me. I lost myself so many times, but I have a feeling that I might lost myself completely. Love they say is stronger than anything, well then my demons love me dearly, and they're going to take me soon or did they already. I look myself in the mirror. Time to actually face reality and stop denying it. I tell myself that it's me, but I always try to deny myself. I deny my inner self. I see myself, but I see a human......f**k never mind. I stare deeply at myself and my version went black and back to normal in a second.
What are you waiting for? I'm not running from you
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, ............killing me deeply
All I wanted was for you to leave my soul
I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am..............I'm Danny La Van de Fredovale and I'm my own insanity....................
Little blood won't kill anyone, took a knife and slice my chest..........watch the blood flow down my body. I feel no pain..I felt nothing.......AHHH!!!....This is gone too far.......shake my head to both side, it's all in your head Danny..........f**k no, it's not. I feel them in me, I punch the glass and watch the glass shatter everywhere. I broke everything. Some glasses got in me and all I saw was blood. I scream I fell to the ground. I throw my gun in the air and it hit the light and it was now..dark. No light, it was DARKNESS..All I see was darkness, my life, this is how I live. All I felt was myself fading away. It was already black, but now I was seeing my own darkness up close.
It's not Suicide..................It's INSANITY
A few hours pass and I lay here bleeding. Nothing deep, nothing close to death. I hear my phone ring and I ignore. I just need to lay here and breathe. I finally got up and open the door and exit out the room. I went inside the bathroom. I took off all my clothes and turn on the shower. I watch the stream coming from the shower, the fogs on the mirrors. I walk in the shower and went under the water. I see the blood going down the drawn. I close my eyes and feel the heat on my body. I open my eyes and started to get my rug and soap and wash myself off.
I got out the shower and walk to my closet. I out dress in my usual outfit and took my keys to the warehouse. Today, I know I finally lost it, I only can think about one thing today. Today was the day, today was going to be a long day. I look at the time and it's now 7:37 AM. I grab my car keys and exit out the house. I got in my car and start the engine.
I drove on the highway to the warehouse, turn on the exit. Few min later I was in front of the warehouse. I got out the car and open the warehouse. I slid the door open and went to my office. I didn't look at anyone, I didn't say a word. I got in my office and sat down in my chair. I look at the papers in front of me. All I see was all the killing I've done, to get Tommy. Tommy is the key that started my insanity. I was already mad, but now I have lost it. I stand up and slid everything that was on my desk on the floor while yelling.
I was turning red like red pepper. If it wasn't to have smoke coming out of my nose there would be some. I was beyond piss. I speak no words, I speak silence. I look up and notice my office door wide open. The men look back at me and I stare them a deadly look and they turn around really fast and went back to what they were doing. A few seconds later Ciel stood by the door. He came in and lean on the wall, staring at me.
By his face expression, he knew that today wasn't the day to start to say something f**king stupid. I would really shot him. He gave me a nod and I nod back. He turn around left. I got from behind my desk and walk out the office. I went into a room and started to strip off my jacket and shirt. I pick up a black tee and put it over my head. I got a vest and tighten it around me. I shake my hair and walk more into the room.
I turn on the light and I was in a room full of guns. It was actually my little office, when I have no time to be in my other office. I take good care of my babies, each one clean after a kill. They all get refilled and place back in the order they should be in. I walk to the way back where the most deadly and killing weapons were. They cost more money and make more damage. Gun is a gun, yes, but it's all about the impact. They all kill, but we need ones who will cause the most damage.
I grab the guns and put the ones that could go on my side, on my side. I heard a noise and turn around fast. I was face to face with Ciel. I gave him and look and he just smile. He was dressed prepared. I handed him a gun and he look at me all surprise. He should be, because the only ones who can touch these weapons, were me and Chase. Chase is no longer here and Ciel is my best friend. yes, I admit it, Ciel is my partner and no matter what we always never leave each other. So, now this room is Ciel's and I.
I nod at him and pat his shoulder and walk pass him to leave the room. He turn and turn off the light and we were now in the middle of the warehouse. All my men, was fully ready. You must be asking yourself, all these men for one person. You really think that Tommy just going to sit there and take a bullet without a fight. His men was ready and he was too. Tommy surely is crazy, but let's see if he can handle my insanity.
I let out sign. I look at each of men and I might not see some of them after this. They would be somewhere else. I would surely meet them again, that I know of. Let's play this game fair, why don't we. Since, Tommy is a fair man, he said. I have my own rules. Give me the rule, and I'll take it. I couldn't fake all the things that I say. I know the rules, but I'm playing it all wrong. In the game that'll throw you away.
I slid open the door of the warehouse and all of us walk to our car. Right now we look a scene from a f**king action movie. All we need to do now is be in slow motion, it would be perfect. The wind is doing us good too. Our hair blow with it and we open our car doors and slowly got in. I waited for all the men to be in their car. I was the lead, so I had to drive in front. Until we get on the highway. I started the engine, I was next to Ciel. I started to drive and one by one my men followed.
We was soon on the highway and everyone separated. We was so not driving on the speed limit, we were way fast it. We were cutting in front of people and race pass cops, the cops started to chase, but I see no point. We shot after them and we won. Waste of bullet to be honest.
We finally was near the exit, we all went in the right lane and drove in a straight line into the exit. Turn a corner and we were here. Where is here? Tommy's warehouse. We stop our cars and we walk out. I grab my guns and took off the safety and was ready to kill. Everyone was. It was quiet too quiet. I turn to look at Ciel and he look back at me. We gave each other the same look. Something isn't right, what if we open the door and it's a bomb.
Then again, that won't happen, Tommy is a fair man, we have no bombs, so he shouldn't either. I walk to the door and open it. I suddenly hear a noise the whole front entrance drop. No one was hurt, it drop flat to the ground. I turn to my men to see if everything okay, and I look at Ciel. Ciel eyes was straight ahead and everyone else too. I slowly turn my head around and Tommy and his men was standing right in front of us with guns in their hands. This is war, but I already have a war in my head.
I close my eyes and quick second I shot my gun and shoot someone. Their body drop to the ground. I open my eyes and look in Tommy's eyes and smile. He had his rules and I had mine. I don't play nice. I would grab this empire and drag it to Hell with me. It's perfectly better in my control. Tommy nod his head and his men lift their guns at us. I laugh and my men did the same. My men know their boss start a riot and end it. I nod my head and my men didn't only rinse their guns, they started to shot. The war as began.
BANG! BANG! BODY DROP! BLOOD! SCREAMS! BLOOD!
I smile at the sight. I turn around and walk through the gunfight and went to my car. Let's make this more entertaining. I turn up my volume and start the music. I got out my car and punch someone in the face and shot some more people. I was just looking straight ...straight at Tommy. That's the only I saw. I walk to him shoot some more people. I fight through to get to him. I kick and bite off people's faces. I wasn't an animal. I was a monster. Blood cover me, but none was from Tommy. He was mine. This is our riot.
I was now face to face with my enemy. Our eyes were staring right in each other's soul. This is the start and the end of this riot. I rinse my hand and Tommy rinse his. Our eyes never disconnect from each other. Our men stop in there place and reunited with the other men that were left. My men murder the f**k out of his men. I smile at that and he has no emotion on his face. We let down our hands and drop our guns.
No matter how many deaths that I die I will never forget
No matter how many lives that I live, I will never regret
There is a fire inside of this heart
And a riot about to explode into flames
Where is your God?
Do you really want...
Do you really want me?
Do you really want me dead,
Or alive to torture for my sins?
Tell me would you kill to save a life?
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?
Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn
This hurricane's chasing us all underground
We started to punch each other and kicking. We fighting like animals. We was bleeding, we only see death. No one let go of one another. We was now on the floor, we rolling and fighting. We was bleeding and add more blood to the ground. My blood boils , my demons yell and I gave Tommy one big kick. He flow to the floor and I kick him hard. He grab his gun and shoot it. I drop down to the floor. He shoot me in my leg . My eyes widen and I look up at him. He pointed the gun down at me.
I hear nothing, but silence. The cheat, the lies................exhale......this f**ktard.
I look down and I look behind him. I widen my eyes some more and narrow them to see clearly. Was I seeing this sh*t right? Kimberly. She had an arrow in her hands pointing it at Tommy. Where the f**k she came from? I'm so confuse right now. I shook my head at her like don't do it. She shook her at me and point it up at Tommy. I look back up at him and he took the safety off his gun. Kimberly, I love you......This life is not for you, mitt ljus . (My light)
The promises we made were not enough (Never play the game again)
The prayers that we have prayed were like a drug (Never gonna hit the air)
The secrets that we sold were never known
The love we had, the love we had, we had to let it go.
Tell me would you kill to save a life?
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?
I close my eyes and I heard Tommy body drop in front of me. I open my eyes and he had arrow in his chest. Kimberly shoot a straight target. I smile and close my eyes and lay down next to Tommy. I turn my face to him and watch him take his last breath.
"min käre vän , detta var inte din kamp , var är din Gud? Nu , min käre vän . Jag kommer att erövra ditt imperium , att jag kommer att göra. Vila i frid. Detta är slutet av början." (my dear friend, this wasn't your fight, where is your God? Now, my dear friend. I will conquer your empire, that I will do. Rest in peace. This is the end of the beginning.)
I got up from the ground and stare straight at Kimberly. She smile at me and I smile back. Before, I know it she ran to me and hug me. I hug her tightly and I was going to ask how she got here, but why ask when I know Ciel was part of this sh*t. I turn around and look at everyone. Everyone was still silent. No one move and I rinse my hand up and my men scream of joy. I look at Tommy's men and they nod at me in honor.
I had the biggest smile on my face, but it was all Kimberly. My light. She brought light to her shadow. I would kiss her right now, but blood. I hold her hand and we both walk to my car.
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The next day..
I stick my middle finger out towards the window....F**k you sun. My f**king eyes, they burn. The men clean up the mess and I made my alliance with Tommy's men, they are now my men and who ever don't want to join my team get shot. I had a great night with Kimberly, that I surely remember. I was clean up and everything. I turn around and look down at her sleeping, peacefully in my bed. I smile at the sight. I got out my bed and head to the bathroom. The shot in my leg wasn't that bad. I just couldn't walk straight yet.
I took a shower and got dress. I went o Kimberly and kiss her lips. I had to go deal with some business. I told her to just stare here and enough herself. She love my house way too much to be honest. I laugh at the thought. I grab my car keys and head out.
I was going to meet the woman who made me, my mother. Let's pay her a visit. I drove through neighborhoods and cities to get to her house. The mansion stood alone on it's own land. It was breath taken. The old mansion stand still. I got out my car and ring the door bell. The door open and I was face with my mother. She kiss my forehead and I kiss her hand. We walk to the back and sat down. It was next out. The sun was out, but it wasn't that cold.
I smile at my mom and she sip her tea. I look at her and waited for her to say something. She smile at me. "Proud of you, you kill your own blood. Tommy, may you rest in peace, sweetie." She sip her tea.
I said nothing, still in a not speaking mood. Yes, love, Tommy was my blood. Not my mom and dad, no. He just my father's son, that he had when he cheated on my mom and left us. He was my brother, a brother war, really.No one knew he was my brother except for Ciel and Chase.
Everyone's looking at me
I'm running around in circles, baby
A quiet desperation's building higher
I've got to remember this is just a game.......
It's a beautiful lie
I had a small chat with my mom and call Ciel to meet me at the business place. Let's start...
A few hours later, I was finally there in front of the building,which is now mine. I walk in and people bow down to me and came running to me to see if I wanted anything. I just shook my head and went in my private elevator with Ciel. We was on the floor of my office. The door slid open and we walk out into a all while room. It was nice.
We sat down and we got relax and we just need to relax for a while until the person come to us with the papers we need to sign. We play around and laugh. We act like complete idiot when we are near each other. Tommy, might be my brother of business, but Ciel and Chase was blood to me. Tommy took Chase, I took his whole empire.
We light up a cigar and just smoke. Just comfortable between us.
The person finally, came with the papers and we start the meeting. We start about the rules and some other sh*t. We both sign the papers and they stomp it. We shook each other hands and he left.
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The next day.....(Short I know, ^_^)
I walk into the meeting room and everyone turn to face me. I introduce myself. Silence....nothing...I know they are judging me, I look young yes, I am. I can rock this business to my liking.
All of sudden they started to gang up on me and Ciel stayed silent. I was starting to get upset and I was about to put these people in their places. This is my business and this is all mine. Don't tell me what to do.
"I'M RUNNING THIS MOTHERF**KING BUSINESS, GOT IT F**KTARDS!"
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THANK YOU, EVERYONE FOR READING THIS BOOK, SORRY TO SAY THIS IS THE END OF BOOK ONE. BOOK TWO IS NOW UP WITH CHAPTER 1 & 2. ♥ THANK YOU FOR DEALING WITH MY INSANITY ...I KNOW AM A CRAZY AUTHOR. DANNY IS THE WAR IN MY HEAD AND MY INNER ANIMAL. I KNOW CRAZY. I WOULD FIX ALL THE ERRORS WHEN BOOK TWO IS COMPLETE SO I CAN FIX IT ALL TOGETHER. ♥
KIMBERLY AND DANNY RELATIONSHIP...YES THEY NEVER TOLD EACH OTHER THEY LOVE EACH OTHER, THEY DON'T HAVE TO. THEIR LIKE WALL-E AND EVE.
*****************************IT'S NOT SUICIDE .....IT'S INSANITY MY DEAR**************