Authors Note
Hey guys here is a super long chapter for all of you guys!
Hope those great comments keep happening and those votes.
Lets see what this chapter has in store for Beth and Hannah.
What do you guys think about Kim and Fred?
Nothing like a little commenting to make a girl want to write more lol.
:D
Seriously love the feedback guys!
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Beth P.O.V
In life there are a few moments that you can point to and remember when it all changed. I felt it within me when she didn't call or didn't come by anymore. It felt like I was somehow losing a part of me and I didn't know who I was anymore. I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to talk to her. Not to my little sister.
"Kim I already told you to butt out. "I say watching Kim roll her eyes climbing onto my bed.
"Well I know my best friend and whatever you did must be pretty huge for her not to come over here and stay at her house all alone."
"I guess it was a little."I say remembering the look on her face when she found out that I lied to her again. I felt ashamed all over again.
"Okay..?"Kim says waiting anxiously
"I lied to her about the stupid work party twice and also I made her feel inferior to me. Not to mention the fact that I promised her I would be honest with her from day one. Personal I think it's the age thing but I just don't know how to get over something as big as that." I say sounding petty
"You are such a douche bag. Hannah is the best thing that has happened to your love life and by lying to her you are going to lose her very easily and very fast. If this age thing really bothers you then end it but don't lie to her about things you know might hurt her. Even if you are my big sister and I love you ,Hannah is my best friend and I won't let you hurt her by being an idiot."Kim says sternly making me look at her in shock. Where the hell was my little sister and when did she get this mature?
"All I know is that it sucks when I don't hear from her so I need her not to be mad at me anymore. Have any ideas?"I ask Kim
"I might have a few ideas but you are going to owe me big time. When I want to go over to Freds you have to cover for me and say I am sleeping over at Hannah's."Kim says holding out her hand for me to shake.
I had to glare at her being so evil and getting what she wants . Reluctantly I shook her hand and then when all said and done I knew Kim was on my side and that was my greatest weapon.
"Kids lunch is ready!"Mom yelled as we run down stairs smelling the most amazing smell of moms homemade pizza. Hannah loves Moms pizza she usually eats the most. Its probably the only time during meal times when she isn't shy.
I wonder why she was always shy around me? I knew for a fact that wasn't her personality because she and Kim were always loud and crazy too crazy for her to have a shy bone in her body.
"Pepperoni deep dish geez Mom have I told you lately that I love you!"Kim said hugging mom
"Where is my other daughter?"Mom asks us earning a shrug from both of us not really knowing what to say.
"Beth I think it's time you told mom. I mean if you think it's something worth persuading."Kim whispers to me with her mouth stuffed with pizza
"Are you crazy?"
"So it's not worth it then?"Kim asks and I glare at her not knowing what to do.
I had to do this at some point. If I wanted Hannah to feel like I am not ashamed of her I have to tell my Mom and a bit later my Dad.
"Mom.."I say getting Moms attention.
"Yes honey?"
"Can we talk outside."I say walking outside as she follows probably expecting the worst. The only few times I have asked my mom if we can talk is when I told her I was gay.
"Is everything alright honey?"She asks looking bewildered as you can imagine
Luckily you can't come out of the closet twice. I don't think my Mom would have survived if I could. Having me be a double lesbian would be her breaking point.
"There is somebody I have been seeing and I'm not sure you will approve but I am thinking of asking them to be my girlfriend and I want to know if you think it's wise. I just have to tell you because it might change a lot .
"Okay honey I'm ready."Mom says looking terrified
"So its Hannah.."I whisper
"Sorry what did you say ?"
"Hannah." I say a bit louder
"As in Hannah your sisters best friend? As in the one who sleeps over almost every night?"Mom asks her face unreadable
"Well yeah.."I say watching her intently
"I didn't know she was..Well Hannah..I think that is wonderful for the two of you. I know you care for her very much. You know I was wondering why she kept slipping into your room at the late hours of the night."Mom says chuckling
"You actually knew about that?"I asked surprised as she puts she hand on my shoulder
"Moms knows everything."She says
"I would have to agree on that. So you are fine with us?"
And thus started the Mom stare down. Something she does when she tries and decides what to think. At least it made me release I had just called me and Hannah an 'us' for the first time and figured out that we were an us. Enough time this little stare down of my mother took to make me feel guilty as hell and thinking of ways I could apologize.
"Hannah is a very sweet girl Beth. A lot younger as well. I think you are old enough to make your own decisions considering who you want to see honey. "Mom says kissing my forehead and walked away.
It was crazy how strong my feelings for Hannah had became and even more how big of a hold Hannah had on me without her even knowing it.
Even with all of this running through my head I wouldn't help but think of the looks of my colleges if I take Hannah to the dinner party. I have never been ashamed to be seen with a woman in fact I quite liked people staring. Being with Vera and Sarah and whoever else I knew they weren't staring in judgment but in jealousy. I know this time they would be staring in judgment if I showed up with Hannah because I won't be seen with a woman I will be seen with a girl.
"Beth what are going to do?"Kim asks out of nowhere reading my mind.
"I have no idea.."
"Come on let's start packing up your room."She says smiling sympathetically at me
"why are you being so nice?"
"I don't know maybe I am sick of seeing you moping around ."Kim says rolling her eyes punching my shoulder playfully
"Or you lovvvvve me."I tease
"Whatever don't ruin it."Kim says chuckling
...
"Why the fuck do I keep finding shit with you and other girls. Whore."
"I'm not a whore I just haven't gotten around to getting rid of those stuff and butt out." I say taking all the pictures from her and tossing them in the trash.
"Are you excited to have your own place?"Kim asks stacking books into boxes
"Very excited you know if it wasn't for this job then I would still be living with mom and dad when I turned 30. They are very good to me and the salary is way more than I should be earning."
She looks over to me frowning slightly then continuing packing. I knew she wanted to say something but thought better of it.
"What? I can see you want to say something."
"Nothing this job is why you and Hannah are fighting or ignoring each other or whatever it is you guys are doing. You guys should just stop dicking around and be real with one another for god sakes you aren't even dating yet and already it is affecting my friendship with Hannah. Whatever I don't care."She says shaking her head
"I didn't know that my job would cause drama alright. You know I like Hannah and I am sorry that I have kept your best friend away from here. Look I will go apologize to her in a few days when she has calmed down ,how does that sound?"I say knowing it was my fault that Hannah hadn't been around lately.
I know that we have so many things working against us but I really just feel this amazing chemistry with Hannah and I have to give it a proper try or I will regret it.
"Good."Kim says smiling at me letting me know she isn't angry with at me for all of the drama
"You want to a little series and take a break?"I ask waving my box set of revenge to her while she smiles excitedly and grabs the disk out of my hand sliding it in my x box and jumps on my bed.
...
Hannah P.O.V
"Mom I'm sure I did not hear you correctly."I say completely shocked
"It is perfectly reasonable for me to want my daughter with the best honey."MY mother says smiling at me straightening out my shirt
"Mom you can't pimp me out."
"Honey there is nothing wrong with finding the most elegant and suitable lesbian for you. Ever mother wants the best for their daughter I don't understand why you are against this Hannah."
"Mom because I don't want to date who you set me up with I want to date someone who I actually like."I say trying to explain this to my stubborn mother.
"Someone who will be able to support you the way your father and I have Hannah? Who is to say you will not like whoever I set you up with. I would like to think I have good taste besides I know who are eligible. "
"Wow mom I didn't know you were so clued up in the lesbian community. Maybe there is something you need to get off your chest."I tease my mother seeing her chuckle something she rarely does
"No honey I am perfectly happy with your father."
"Too much info mom. Can we just forget you ever said you were going to set me up with someone eligible because you are making me sound like a I'm on display."I say checking my messages
New Message
Beth: Hey cutey I know you are still mad and you have reason to be. I hope you are enjoying your day with your mom I know it doesn't happen very often.
I was still angry and even if I was smiling I wasn't going to fall to her feet. She hurt me and hasn't even bothered to apologize.
"Hannah you are a Miller ,you just turned 18 and your are finally able to step into society as an adult and as my daughter. I still do not see why you are treating this like some sort of punishment."My mother carries on drinking her coffee.
"Do you want to go out a bit mom like to the park or the mall?"I ask trying to change the subject.
"Oh yes lets go to the mall then we could go get you an outfit for your date."My mom says standing up grabbing her eyes winking at me.
I might lose my mind.
While me and my mom enjoyed lunch in the mall talking about things at the hospital and both of us enthusing about my father's arrival tomorrow we seemed to lost track of time and started looking for a few new outfits for me and she even picked up a few things for her. Of course the shops she went to was shops I never would have entered on my own knowing that it was extremely pricey.
When we arrived home mom got a call from the hospital asking her to go back to work and it sucked knowing I would be home alone again tonight. After my mom leaves for work I set off into my bedroom and instantly call Kim. I have missed her snarky attitude and her eye rolling and even if I was mad at Beth I wish I could have my best friend with me.
"Hello?"She says clearly not knowing who is speaking.
"Kim its Hannah.."I say hearing her squeel in the background and tell someone to keep quiet.
"I miss you!"Kim yells in excitement
"I miss you too what are you doing?"I ask curious as to if she is with Beth right now.
"Um...Well me and Beth are watching Revenge right now but she is about to go ..."Kim says
"Oh to the dinner party?"I ask completely shocked at the fact that she was really going to go without a date or rather without anyone she could be proud to call her date.
"Yeah I mean..."She says arguing in the background "Yes she is going."Kim finally says.
"Oh great."I say too shocked to say more really.
" Well tell her to enjoy it. "I say hearing Kim argue with someone and then the phone moving around
"Han .."Beths voice penetrated my ears "Can we just tal-" Before she could say anything else I hung up the phone and quickly texted my mom. I probably should have cooled off a little before thinking such thoughts but I found myself texting my mother that I was in to do the blind date.
A decision I was not in the right mind to make.
I was just too sick of drama and just wanted me and Beth to be together without any shit. Why was that so hard?
...
Beths P.O.V
"You should be proud."I snip at Kim seeing her shrug and walk out of my room.
I quickly put on the rest of my makeup and grabbed my keys the feeling of complete guilt over taking me. Mostly I just wanted to dance with Hannah ,laugh with Hannah maybe even do stupid things with Hannah.
Once I arrived at the party I was in awe .Looking around from wall to wall with the amazing art pieces decorating each wall. Waiters walking around with champagne and every single person dressed in exquisite attire. At first I just walked around aimlessly staring at the art pieces and the decor of the party. I think I might get lost in this place. The funny thing of the night must have been the countless lesbians I have seen. I could have sworn I felt eyes on me all through the night. I saw a few of my colleagues and whilst making small talk I felt someone's hand grab my ass and in shock I turned around to see Farrah grinning at me. Quickly I shook her hand off my backside trying to laugh it off and continue my conversation with the girls.
Again she grabbed my ass and I started feeling a little insulted and uncomfortable. Why won't this women ever stop with her bullshit?
"No date Miss Williams?"She whispers in my ear.
At this point I could smell the alcohol on her and realized most of her guests were looking at us and I stepped away from her shaking my head and forcefully smiled politely at her.
There was nothing that I could say to her. I couldn't tell her she was going too far because this whole freaking dinner party with 300 or more guests were all here for her. Considering most of them were employed by her I was subjected to these foul attempts of hers to get in my pants. It's not right really but now is not the time nor the place.
"No date."I said simply
"Are you trying to give me a sign Beth? You shouldn't tease an older woman."She said and at this point I thought I might vomit in my mouth at the way she was staring at me. I realized most of the people around us had walked off and I was left with dealing with the drunken millionaire with nothing else to do but undress me with her eyes.
"Not in the slightest. Sorry I have to be rude but I think Angelina just waved me over ."I said quickly walking away from my creep of a boss.
I grabbed Angelinas arm seeing her smile in delight
"Well aren't you the bosses favorite." she said making me shake my head in disgusted.
"I thought she was going to attack me right then and there."I said exhausted
"You should talk to her about it."Angelina's husband said as Angelina nodded in approval
I couldn't just go talk to her about how uncomfortable she makes me feel. For all I know she could fire me. That conversation was something I was not up to doing but hopefully she would just get the fucking message and leave me the hell alone.
Of course she wouldn't stop with the ass grabbing or with the staring. It made me feel like a little lamb waiting for the lion to pounce on me. I couldn't even enjoy the expensive champagne afraid she might grab my ass and I choke myself to death. It was really a fear.
At about 10pm I decided I wanted to go home and said my goodbyes to everyone I knew. Walking out of the building I had to laugh at the fucked up boss I got stuck with who the hell would bare with all of this.
"Miss Williams leaving so soon?"I heard her voice and turned around to see her smiling at me.
"Yeah I am so exhuasted you have really been giving me alot of work you know."I joke seeing her grin
She steeped closer to me making me instantly take a step back until my back was against my car door. She kept coming closer to me and I felt trapped and terrified. I could kick her hard but my legs were numb. when she was about a foot away from me she looked me over again making my throat go dry, I couldn't scream. I shouldn't scream.
"Farrah I should really-"
"It's Misses Hart or have you forgotten your place."She says through gritted teeth.
"Don't do this look I can just leave now ad we don't have to mention this to anyone.."I begged sliding my hand down to my car door handle
"I know you have wanted me Beth. You make it oh so clear.."She says as she ice cold hand touches my side and I quickly move her hand away
"The way you dress says it all to me. Those skirts of yours making your legs seem like an endless endeavor. Don't fight it.."She said her hand running up my side pulling me closer as I try to push her away.
"Please stop this!"I beg again hearing a faint chuckle in her voice like she was enjoying this and then I stopped considering my job and I stopped considering what was going to happen next and I stomped on her foot making her fall backward cursing in pain
I stared at her and quickly got into my car shaking my head in disbelief as my boss glared at me from the sidewalk. I sped off into the night knowing where I wanted to be and hoping I could forget this night ever happened.
I have never been the type to have something like that happen to her. I just knew everything that was at stake. I could have easily slept with my boss. Maybe I would have even gotten a promotion out of it but I would hate myself for it. Even more I would hate my job knowing I didn't earn it. At this moment I am so confused and wondering if I ever deserved my job to begin with.
I don't want to think of this anymore. I don't want to think of what just happened I need a break. This freaking drive has never felt so long before. I just want to get there already.
...
Hannah P.O.V
Kim: Nothing has changed at all in fact we are closer than ever. You probably know how that feels right...I mean with Kyle and all :)
Me: Well the fact that you and Fred love each other makes a big difference..I loved Kyle but I wasn't in love with him. To be honest I never have enjoy it..he did.
Kim: And with girls?
Me: A lot easier than it was with Kyle and I did enjoy it but still it felt empty. What you and Fred have is different. Its better. I don't know if I will have that any time soon.
Kim: I know this seems crazy but maybe its Beth.
Me: What do you mean
Kim: I know you guys aren't getting along right now but..I don't know it seems inevitable.
Me: So you want me to sleep with your sister? Oh Kim you are so thoughtful fine I will.
Kim: You are sooooo funny. I want you guys to fall in love and be happy.
Me: Believe it or not but its not very hard...
Kim: You mean you are...in love with her??? :D
Me: Sometimes. I don't know....Maybe
Kim: Just be careful.
Me: Now how did I know that you were going to say that?;)
Kim: Because I love you and if somebody hurts you I will beat them so bad even if it is Beth.
Me: I love you too. I will see you tomorrow at the mall xx Night Kimmy
Kim: Goodnight Han. Love you hope you have sweet dreams and you stay as amazing as you are. Remember we are like sisters nothing will ever come between us and just imagine you aren't alone in that big ole house and here with your other family.
Kim has signed off
And off course it was the first thing I thought of. Being alone in this big house was one of the scariest things I ever had to do. I constantly laid awake staring at the ceiling convincing myself that I heard things that in the back of my head I knew wasn't there. Damn I hate that Kim always forces me to watch scary movies. Why would anyone want to watch those things knowing they would be sleeping alone.
I started hearing those noises again. First I was convinced that I heard the front door but I just tried to shake it off blaming it on the wind and then came the scary voices that screamed my name. I could have swore that was real. I shook it off no one could come into my house it was impossible I was just imagining thing. Then out of nowhere I heard a noise at my window like a stone against my window.
Again I heard the same noise and gather all my bravery and walked to my window my adrenaline pumping my hand on the curtain knowing how this scene usually goes I yank the curtain open to see nothing behind it but then when I look further I see someone outside. Instantly all my fears disappeared and I wasn't scared anymore. I opened my window grateful that it was her and not some demon child.
She had come to save me from myself it seemed and just when I needed her. I looked down to her when she saw me a look of relief washed over her face and she waved shyly at me.
I waved back and pointed to the front door for her to wait at.
I didn't know what she was doing here but I was really glad she had came.
I ran down the stairs as fast as I could and opened the front door only to see that beautiful body in and form fitting dress and see those amazing eyes looking at me lovingly. Her face said something completely different. Her face seemed to like she had been run over by a truck.
"I know its late.."She whispered smiling at me
"It's fine.."I said seeing her nod stepping closer to me hesitant at first
"I don't want to fight anymore please. I messed up I know.."She said looking me in my eyes and melting my heart. How could I not forgive her
All I could think of was to kiss her. She looked so damn sad that is all I could think of doing. I kissed her cheek softly pulling her closer to me feeling her smile
"What happened?"I asked in her ear
"I just really wish you would've been at the party. "Is all the said.
I pulled away looking her over as she started to smile at me. I found it amazingly soothing that she would run to me. I didn't know what happened tonight and I was guessing she wasn't really up to telling right now but the fact that she chose to come here is really what made me so extremely happy. I wasn't mad anymore. I just missed her incredibly. I could feel this urge inside of me just to hold her close and kiss her till the sun came up. I wasn't coming to tell her yet but I knew what this feeling was. I knew because Kim had explained to me only a few minutes ago.
"Do you want to stay over tonight?"I asked her surprising myself.
She looked at me in surprised smiling taking her hand in mine and nodded. I held her tightly as she walked through the house up the stairs and into my room. I looked at her wrapping my arms around her waist seeing her smile at my touch.
"I don't want our first ti-"
"I agree.."Is all she said closing her eyes as my hands trailed up her back and unzipped her dress letting it fall to the ground. She held her eyes closed as I kissed her shoulder down her stomach taking in her amazing scent. My hand making their way down her backside softly spreading over her tight firm ass. She seemed to tense at that but quickly relaxed and smiled. I wanted her I knew that. My on hand trailed back up her back and in one swift move unclipped her bra taking her open her eyes staring at me with lust. I pulled the bra off of her looking at her full breasts free from any coverage and felt my knees go a little weak.
Instantly her lips collided with mine and she pressed against me hard. I felt her breast against mine with just the little piece of fabric from my tank top between us. I pulled away smiling at me as she bit her lip looking at me like I was torturing her.
I walked over to my closet and grabbed a tank top standing behind her I placed soft slow kisses down along her spine as I pulled the shirt over her body.
Taking her hand in mine we climbed into bed pulling each other closer until we could no longer come any closer.
"I love this.."Beth says kissing my lips
"Me too."I smiled my hand touching her stomach
"You are everything I want do you know that."She whispers sends shivers across my body feeling her hands touch my leg
"You are very thing and my I fantasizes about."I admit watching her eyes sparkle at that. She glided her legs in between mine making me tremble a little
"I can't wait to make those fantasies reality."She says biting her lips watching me intently as her hand touches my cheek and my lips quickly crash into hers and we start kissing passionately both of us grabbing each other lower body wanting just to rip each other closets off. We manage to stop breathlessly holding onto each other our eyes closed as our hand entwine.
"Thanks for not letting me sleep alone.."I whisper smiling to myself
"Never again."She whispered as she both slipped into a deep sleep laying like this the whole night. I wish I could have taken a photo. That seems weird but this moment I never want to forget. I want to remember when I am fifty the way I felt right now. I want to remember the way she laid entwined with each other all through the night not ever getting the feeling that we have enough of each other.
Authors Message
Hey guys I promised a longer chapter and I hope you guys loved it as much as I did.
Things are getting pretty serious with Beth and Hannah will it last?
I promised every chapter better than the next and hopefully you will agree**
Remember please to vote and comment to let me know how you guys think it all will play out.
Next chapter-PROM! Excited yet? You should be!
Chapter 8 - Lost, lust, love and other things that start with L
XoXo