Its been Four days since were at Kirks Villa , Well since then my relationship with Chrysler had been Great? okay? wonderful? hmmmm.. i dont know But. we've been spending more time with each other , and not fighting, Perhaps more than the usual i should say and when I say more than Usual that includes him Creeping in my room in the middle of the night and sleep in my bed kind of thing claiming he can't sleep in my playroom/guest room because He Says there's a ghost there (unbelievable excuse for a full grown man, i know, tell me about it).
Gerard is no where to be seen when we got back, but MoM said he Left the day i go to Kirks because his Father wants him to come home for some business engagements or what , i dont care (thank God he is Gone) i dont know why God created these kind of people, you know, the ones with faces you won't believe they're Goblins inside. cause they're Super goodlooking like angels.
Ohhhh well we should not forget that the Devil was Once an Angel and His The Favorite of God , maybe thats why He/God changed standards When He Created Human beings , He preferred now common-looking people in order not to be decieved thats why he made so many of them? (or maybe he's just tired of what he was doing for quite sometime, and the first once he made were polished, thats why some people are like works of art ) just like Trevor or Chrysler.
Hmmmmmm? bluish green eyes looking directly at me
j
ohhh . did i say his name out loud?
Nothing. I answered not looking back at him but instead i kept on staring the white ceiling of my room (Why did i even think about him? its Trevor if you're asking who) i shook my head abit to erase the Thought.
Its morning but my room is still dark because (Why not?) only a bit of light iluminates because of the small gap from the curtain ,
Are you daydreaming about me Cookie? Cocky as usual, amused as he propped his elbow supporting his head
What?!!! No! you wish. I defended
Yea yea , whatever you say cookie whatever you say he singsang grinning widely as he shakes his head amused while getting out of bed and streched to take away the stiffness of sleep (Did i ever tell you this guy has a habit of sleeping naked? I mean without a Shirt? No? well now you know) wearing just his grey sweatpants hanging unbelievably low on his hips , his perfectly toned abdomen and chest were at full show and dont forget his V lines and that bi and tricepts and ohhh his back and his Ass ( Im perving oh god ) How can i not? right? i felt my cheeks heat up , i pulled up my douvet and covered my face just below my eyes in shame
Done checking me out? He beamed displaying his body infront of me ,
i rolled my eyes at him Concieted much? i retorted , he opened his mouth about to rebut when my phone rang and silenced him , immediately I took it i see who it is
Its Reed.
he probably saw the uneasiness in me
Chrysler eyed me skeptical
Whos it?!
But instead of answering his question , eyes locked on my phone screen I waved a hand at him dismissively wanting for him to leave my room , But the guy is so stubborn for his own good and doesn't know what Privacy means ,cause i felt my bed dipped at the far end Crossed armed he sat there indian seated
i sent him a pointed look before deciding to answer the call.( i should talk to him theres no point in hiding )
silence ,. followed by a deep breath
Babe. his voice low and soft ,
somehow a pang of guilt crept up inside of me
Hey. i greeted equally low as he is (He didnt do anything bad Katss) dont mAke him feel that way
A—re. Are you angry at me? He almost choked on his words, Tears started pooling in my eyes , my hand immediately covered my eyes as i lower my head so Chrysler wont see me ( i knew this would happen )
Chrysler must've decided to give me privacy for i heard the door closed with a soft click , i Breath. Hugging my knees and rested my forhead on it i answered
No Reed.
What Makes You think like that? I Humored him which an act he will never believe
I— I thought you were.
You Didn't Answer My Calls or even my messages For Days, Trailing every word after word
and im lost for words , explaining my own feeling never really my best , the truth is i dont wanna talk to anybody or about it atleast , (might as well runaway)
I thought you'll leave again and wont say a word anything to me ever again, he let out a soft chuckle . his breath was shaking , i knew he's trying so hard not to sound so worried, his just that kind of guy
i felt ashamed thinking about leaving , knowing he felt this way, I breath audibly letting out a long breath, Look Babe. i started and he remained silent on the other line, i closed my eyes
Im not angry at you, No , Not ever, i might have left before , but you know i love you right? you're were the brother i always wanted. The tears the are pooling in my eyes are now staining my cheeks , remembering how i Abandoned him before im a horrible excuse for a friend , Now He is afraid i might do it to him again, im hurting him and he didn't even do anything, all the frustration from the past days were kept on a bottle and im exploding,a sob escaped my lips , all the feelings im keeping in , is pouring out like waterfalls Im sorry, im sorry Reed im really really sorry
BaBe why are you saying sorry? pAnic washed over his voice ,
i was there seated hugging myself crying like a child , i heard shuffling over the phone an an engine went on , and a screeching sound boomed like someone stepped on the gas reAl hard
Please dont cry, im coming over. Reed stated and i know for sure I couldn't say No.
mkay.
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*****
i heard a soft but hurried knock on my door, and i knew who it was behind it
Come in , its not Locked I let him in
the door Creaked open and a Stylish Golden Hair with streaks of brown poked , he saw the miserable me crouched on my bed puffy eyes and stuffy red nose
Hey. i greeted meakly,
Without any another word, He come to me and wrapped me in his arms, and again i break.
eventually I stopped , tired , Reed didn't say a word he just let my release everything out as he comforts me in his arms , brushing my hair with his fingers my head rested on his chest
You okay now? he broke the silence,
i feel much better now compared to the past days which is just me trying to survive the days,
i nooded Yes.
Good, that's how it feels like to take it all out instead of bottling it all inside. He stated , and i know its true , because i knew so damn well how horrible it was when you pretend everything's fine even if it's truly not and all you wanted to do is cry out loud , scream and break things.
Yes, im totally aware about it now I pushed myself up and sat , Reed eyed me worry
im okay now, okay? I practically cried like a mad child , im all good (Lie) I laughed humorless Thank you for being here.
He held my hand , softly by both if his eyeing it like its fragile ,
Its Nothing, you know ill be there whenever you need me Now he's looking at me sincerely , tears glossing his Grey eyes
i threw my arm around his neck and again , cried, this time i let it all out ( really let it all out , the things i kept inside for years)
Im really sorry, for not even saying goodbye, for not even trying to call you, for totally disappearing, im really sorry, Reed im regreting every bit of it, i missed you always, missed you everyday, When I listened to that voice messages you sent , when you told me you didn't know anything about it, i hated myself, i promised myself that when i get over everything that happened ill call you but ,that didn't come , before i knew it its been three years and im so scared , i had alot of what if''s in my head , but then in the reunion, you just— oh my god. i breath out You come like nothing happened, we talked like nothing happened, like i didnt disappeared for years, and its just breaking me, I don't know. I know you're somewhat angry, i just knew it , what Trevor did Break me not just into pieces Reed im so Burned down to ashes, He's my first Love Reed, i felt like dying that time , i dont know what to do, all i want is to run away, i felt betrayed, i blamed everyone , i hated everyone, I'm Angry at Trevor but i dont know why i can't Hate Him. I rumbled all of it , i had to say it, i felt it Reed is shaking, his arms tighten and then releases his arms limped on his sides , I panicked pulled out myself from hugging him (If he's angry , he has every right to be)
You're an idiot He breaths and I remained silent, i had to hear everything, every harsh words every bit of it,
He lifts his face and then i saw, i saw the face of my Best Friend my Brother from another Mother , the first time i see him this hurt tears falling from his eyes, it breaks my heart
You Left Katss without a word you — you just disappeared, Do you know How i felt Back then? i tried to contact you but No! you shut me out, and Now? —Now. Oh GOD!! His Hands in his Face Covering every Sob every Pain He's Almost Clawing his face out of frustration, He looked at me finding something i dont know Answers? You could've Run to me, i could just hit him so hard so that he knew how stupid he is for doing that to you, He maybe my Best Friend But you are not just my Best friend but my sister too, not literally though but you are. Maybe things could have been different then.
Tugging his hair , i held his hand preventing him from hurting himself , then He threw his hands up in the air out of pure frustration (He's Far Gone)
I Could've lost you both! my Best Friends , You Left me Here you Disappeared i dont know where to find you and how can i contact you to check upon you and I Almost Lost Trev—. He Froze and came to stop his vomit of words, He stopped himself
Shit! He whispered , I cannot pin things together but im sure he's supposed to say he almost lost Trevor, To What, How Or Why? I needed answers
What do you mean you almost Lost Trevor? I'm eager, i dont know why but i needed his answer, but he stands up and I followed
I cant do this He breaths
What do you mean you cant do this Reed? I questioned, surely this is getting into my nervez and i gotta be honest, i dont feel good about this
Look! Now we know what we both felt, im not angry. atleast Not anymore, I understand you , i do, but you need to give Trevor a chance , You said You cant Hate him, He wiped my tears with his fingers and held my hand, thats Because you Love—Loved him.
What–Why? i don't understand. unanswered questions , thats what all i have , i might gone all out for Reed but now i had alot of questions on hand that I harvest here , its like ive gone 1-10 real quick
Soon Babe, But not now. He Hugged me and planted a kiss on top of my head and wiped his own tears
alright i need to go, He said rubbing my shoulders
I'll be out of town for the next few days , ill be back before the day of your birthday, i promise. He stated standing at my door, as i sat on my bed dead confused
And Katss I looked up and met his gaze Give him a chance , He suffered enough He got what he deserves , but He isnt just the only person at fault.
and by that he left my room leaving me in thoughts
what he mean? Trevor isnt the only one at fault so i followed him out, as i was nearing the front door i heard shoutings coming from outside , and i knew that voices too well Pamii and shes angry,
You fucking son of a Bitch! what did you tell her?!!
So what?! im so done with all your bullshit all of this is your fault , do dont you dare fucking tell me what and what i should be doing cause im Not your damn Puppet! Trevor suffered enough.
what are they talking about and what is this all about and what are they saying about trevor, my heart beats fast , i twisted the doorknob and opened the door harder than what i intended to , but i dont care
What are you guys fighting about? i asked them their heads snapped so fast to my direction im afraid it hurt theyre all wide eyed i heared Emcii sucked in a gasp , oh shes here too, i knew something is off with my friends eversince the reunion i knew the glares the give each other whenever there eyes meet but i disregarded it cause i cant remember a time they argue were all pretty close then, but i dont know now
i have to go. Reed suddenly said in a hurry as if hes on fire , i dint have enough time to stop him cause he is already inside his car and speed out in a second so i turned to Pamii and Emcii which are so silent
Is there anything you want to tell my Guys? i asked them eyeing them both waiting for an answer , its silent for a minute or two unti Emcii said my name but Pamii beat her to it silencing her with a glare she looked at me with what looks like Anger and pain or rather guilt i dont really know
Arent we Enough? she asked here eyes boring into mine
What? im so confused
Arent we enough as your friends Katss? she asked again this time her works are coated my mockery
ofcourse you are , were friends as long as i can remember Pam i answered your question truthfully
Yea ,. Right. she snorted rolling her eyes thats why you keep on coming back to Reed, she smiled but her eyes isnt I thought you hated her Katss? she said , my mouth opened and close like a fish out if water i cant answer her , again she Snorted, as expected from you, next time we know youre crawling back to Trevor. She said voice hard and raw , i cant believe im hearing this out of all people
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!! snapped thinking about reasons why she is acting and speaking like this but came up with nothing
Whatever. She said as spinn on her heels walking away grabbing the wide eyed speachless Emcii on her arm dragging her away who kept on looking back at me pain in her eyes as she mouthed " Im sorry" before Pamii Shoved her in the car And slam shut her side of door Pamii climed at the driver seat then drove away leaving me Confused and hurt.
what the hell?
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waaaaahhhh!!!! that was just some chapter, nothing much revealed but i bet yall been thinking whats in the letter..
yah me too LoL
do me a favor Nicies and tap that star for me please, Thank you!!! love love you! heart Heart!
MadPrincess (KBD)