Before we start this chapter. Let's get one thing clear. I am not writing romance fantasy stories here. I am writing realistic fictions with deep Spiritual messages. For all those young unmarried girls living in idealistic world believing marriage is a bed of flowers with no issues, then I am sorry to burst your bubble no it is not. No man will dance to your tune of fingers. I have been married for nearly a decade alhumdulilah and I can easily vouch from my experience and from other married women around me that no married life is a fairy tale. So expecting me to write happy chapters of where a girl swoon over her husband and the guy is ready to do everything for her is not going to happen. There are countless books like that on Wattpad. Feel free to read them.
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Daud
Daud
Daud
How dare she mention his name?
His worst nightmare had come true. His head fell back on the black office leather chair, shutting his eyes obscuring all from his vision. He had hated his cousin with every ounce of blood in him. He had been patient with her, ignored her tantrums and still was civil with her. Laughing off some of her very crude verbal attacks, all in the name of love. What did he get in return? With just one name she slashed his heart in two pieces.
Rolling the Mont Blanc pen in his hand, his eyes opened and roved around the room as his mind worked to find the answer. Her university was to start in one week, giving her ample time to do as she pleased. Once she steps out of the house, Allah knows what she will be up to. Knowing her, she feared no one and would take drastic steps and ... and... it was hard to admit but she would easily slip away from him. He didn't trust her at all.
He couldn't stop her from studying. She will go ballistic then. Think, think and think. Many minutes passed and he wasn't able to decide what to do until his eyes landed on his phone. An idea sparked and he smiled victoriously.
Clutching his phone in his hand, he mused, this was it.
****
It had been more than two weeks that Daud had been trying to call her. But Nawal ignored him. He was tapping his fingers on the kitchen counter lost in his thoughts as he grilled chicken for his chicken salad supper. He exhaled heavily, the main purpose of talking to her was to tell her the truth. She deserved this much at least. He was damn sure no one had told her what happened.
But she was being difficult. He didn't know any other way to go up to her. Going to her house was impossible, after what happened last time he had no plans to visit there.
He would just have to find another way. His gaze flickered to the chicken on the grill pan. It was done, he switched off the stove and topped the chicken over a bed of mixed salad. Settling, on the kitchen bar stool, his thoughts diverted to displeasing problems.
It had been more than two months and still no trace of Susan. There was fear lurking in his heart, what if he never get to see his son? He missed Yousef a lot that he couldn't describe it in words. There were times, he felt he was being unfair on him. He was treating him just like his Dada jaan had with him when he was a young child, ignoring his presence. But that wasn't true. Since the birth of his son, he had opened a bank account in his name and had been gradually saving funds so that when Yousef is 21 years old he would be able to access it. Not to forget, he had provided all kinds of comfort to Susan and Yousef.
But the only one thing that Susan desired the most he wasn't able to give. Cutting a small piece of the chicken fillet, he lifted it with the fork, when his eyes caught the bright coloured Yousef's ball that he had put on the kitchen counter.
How would it be like to have them living with him?
He would be ecstatic to have Yousef near him at all times. As for Susan, he didn't know. Since that one night with her, they never did interact much except about their son.
Grabbing the tumbler of water, he gulped water greedily. He had to find them first and then need be he will do the unavoidable.
But right now, he had more pressing matters to focus on.
Time was the essence.
If he waited too long it would be too late. He lifted his phone which was placed beside his food plate and again ring her.
No answer. As usual.
But the question was until when?
****
Nawal and Manal were in the kitchen with Seema cleaning up after the dinner. Salman had been busy and had said he won't be joining them for dinner. Now as Nawal and Manal washed dishes and put the left overs in the fridge, while Seema was making tea for her husband and herself, the doorbell distracted the women from their chores.
Manal dried her hands, ready to welcome her brother home. But her steps faltered when Seema stopped her, "Manal stay with me here. Let Nawal open the door."
Nawal nodded and left the kitchen but there was a frown marred on Manal's face, "What difference does it make whether I open the door or Nawal?"
"When a man comes back home from a tiring day at work, seeing his wife's face erases half of his tiredness away." Seema calmly mixed sugar in the two tea mugs. Then she continued, "From now on, whenever Salman is at home, try not to disturb him and Nawal. They need time and space to understand each other. It's not nice other people interfere in their relationship."
Manal eyed her mother thoughtfully, "You are really concerned about their relationship. Nawal is lucky to have you as her mother in law."
Seema smiled, "She is as precious to me as you are." She had a faraway look, "May be more. I see myself in her." Seema shook her head, "And most of all, after me it is her who will be head of this house, so of course her happiness means a lot to me."
Manal was puzzled and she wisely didn't probe further. Instead, continued cleaning the dishes.
Meanwhile, at the door, Nawal opened the door with a pleasant smile but Salman didn't even bother to glance at her.
"Assalam u alaikum," Nawal greeted, her eyes searching his exhausted face. But he mumbled his response and loosened his tie. "Get my dinner ready, I want to eat and sleep."
He skidded up the stairs to wash up and change his clothes for the evening. Sighing, Nawal's shoulders drooped. This is how it had been since that night when she had slipped Daud's name from her lips. He never spoke to her nicely anymore. But she was putting all her efforts in restoring their relationship. So far it had been a futile struggle but she wasn't giving up.
She hastily went to the kitchen to heat up the food for him. Then before he came to the kitchen, she had set up his food on the kitchen table. He stepped in the kitchen and grumbled his greeting to his mother and sister. And silently sat down to start his meal. When he took the first bite of his chicken curry and roti, he stopped chewing abruptly and his lips curled in disgust.
He glared at Nawal, "What is this? The roti is dried and cold."
Flustered and embarrassed, Nawal hurried to look in the roti basket, the warmer rotis were below the roti he had torn a piece from.
"Here this should be fine." She murmured.
Glowering, he taunted, "You can't even serve food properly. For once do something correctly Nawal."
Her hands stilled in putting the warmer roti in front of him. With great self-control, she placed the roti on his plate. She bit her tongue not to retort back. Tears of mortification filled her eyes, he had humiliated her in front of his mother and sister. She swallowed and stepped back.
"D..d..do you want anything else?" her voice wavered.
He shook his head as he continued to eat his food. She nodded and left the kitchen as tears threatened to spill. Seema quietly watched the scene being unfold in front of her. Manal had left for her room but Seema stayed behind waiting for her son to finish his dinner.
When Salman was drinking the last sip of water, Seema spoke in a soft tone, "What you said to Nawal could have been said in a gentler manner."
He pushed his chair back and stood up, "Ammi please I don't need advice. If anyone who needs advice it's your niece. She needs to learn how to become a proper wife."
Before Seema could reply, he walked out of the room. Her son's words saddened her. Why couldn't her son be like his father? All her life, she had lived with a man who had been understanding in every turn of their lives.
Even when she had committed a grave sin...
****
Susan was giddily running back to home from the bus stop. It was drizzling on this early autumn evening. But a little bit of wetness didn't bother her. Today, she was elated and nothing would be able to lessen her happiness. She had been able to achieve what she had been struggling for nearly two and a half months.
She sprinted at Amal's front yard and then knocked on the door loudly. It didn't take long for Amal to open the door with little Yousef standing behind her legs. Susan beamed at her friend but her smile faded away seeing the light of her eyes dimmed.
"Amal, what is the matter?" Susan asked warily as she entered the house and then lifted Yousef in her arms. Kissing his cheeks, she turned to Amal.
Amal shook her head. "Nothing, tell me did you get it?"
Susan hesitated and then nodded eagerly, "Yes, yes, yes! Finally" She embraced her friend tightly, "And it is all because of you. You helped me at the time when the world had turned against me. I can never thank you enough." She pulled back but was startled to see tears in Amal's eyes.
"Amal what is it? You are scaring me!!" Susan whispered her wary eyes scanning Amal's tears.
"Let's sit down," Amal said in a hushed tone.
Amal sat at the kitchen chairs by the kitchen table and Susan turned on the kettle while little Yousef munched on slices of apple. Taking out the mugs from the cabinet, Susan turned to Amal, "Tell me."
Amal shoulders slumped, "You know Abou came back from Hajj just two days ago." Susan nodded thoughtfully and Amal looked down at her hands on her lap, "He was different. Happier. I thought maybe it's because he was coming back from a very spiritual trip but today he revealed his reasons for being happy."
Amal looked up and tears fell on her cheek, "Abou met a guy there who apparently lives in Dublin too. They had good bonding during Hajj and he confided in Abou he was looking for a pious woman to get married to. And ... and..." she wasn't able to go on.
Susan filled a glass with tap water and handed it to Amal. Taking one sip, she continued, "Abou said he would be delighted to make him his son in law. And tonight he is coming to see me."
Susan's lips twitched, "But that's good news. Why are you crying about it?"
Amal looked away, "You don't understand Susan. I... I... it's just difficult to explain."
Susan bent down in front of Amal and touched her knees, "Look whatever it is that you went through in the past I pray that this guy will be able to erase your hurt."
Amal bleakly gazed at her friend, "I don't think there is any man who will be able to erase those horrific memories."
Susan squeezed Amal's hand, "You never know." She stood up and turned to pour the hot water in the tea mugs.
"What about you? Did you get the flat?" Amal asked.
"Oh yes I did. Yousef and I will be moving to the flat this weekend." Putting a teabag in the mug and adding sugar Susan stirred the mug, "You don't know how thankful I am to you."
In the last two months, Susan had been working in a local bookstore and able to save enough money that finally today she was able to find a studio flat on rent. It was a very small flat but sufficient to meet her and Yousef's basic necessities.
"You are like a sister to me now. After Sana api got married I had become very lonely. She is busy with her family." Amal said as Susan handed her the tea mug.
"You will have your own family very soon," Susan teased.
Amal rolled her eyes, "I doubt so."
"So what is this special guy's name?"
Amal scrunched her nose, "Hamza Ali."
A name that will become part of her life for the next few years.
A man that will leave sad memories behind.
A relationship that will never be truly hers.
****
One morning after fajr prayer, when Nawal was preparing to go back to bed, Salman halted her.
"Look Nawal, it's about time you take your responsibilities seriously." he said, sitting on the bed beside her.
Her eyebrows knotted and she asked, "What do you want me to do?"
"I don't like it you are sleeping while Ammi makes my breakfast. You should be doing this not her."
She stared at him for a long moment and then whispered, "Okay."
She turned to her side of the bed and set the alarm on her phone so that she could wake up on time. Just as she was closing her eyes to sleep, she felt his arm encircling her waist as he drew himself closer to her until her back touched his chest.
"Please not now. I won't be able to wake up on time." she whispered. Silently, praying that he would leave her alone. He released her and turned away. She sighed in relief.
She shut her eyes, she really didn't want to be anywhere near him at the moment. For the last few days, all he did ever was finding faults in her. She had stopped replying back. She just quietly accepted whatever he wanted her to do. But inside she was breaking up. She was suffocating with all these rules he had set up on her. She was trying her best but he was never pleased with her, always finding flaws in her.
And now, he wanted to be intimate. Whatever comfort she found in him physically died down from the day he started criticising her day and night. Now it was a forced act on her part. Nothing about this marital life was bringing happiness. There was no bliss at all. She was being trapped from all corners. From everywhere, with no doors or windows to escape from. She feared one day she would just break.
Then, there was Daud who continued to pester her with his calls and texts. She was just fed up with her life. Sometimes, she wished she could run away to the wilderness where she would never meet another human being at all and just live freely under the blue sky and open air. So many days would pass where she would gaze at the birds that would sit on the backyard wall, wishing she was one so she could fly away.
****
The last weekend before she started the new semester at her university, Nawal was really looking forward to it. She got her clothes ironed for the week, bought new stationary and a spiral notebook. She had decided when the university will start she will spend maximum time there. Perhaps, then she would feel relax and get rid of this lingering feeling of being trapped and unhappy. It might bring some normalcy to her life. There were sprouts of joy, she was counting hours when to be freely walking on her own.
Salman hadn't changed and if it was possible he had become worse. She was as agreeable wife as possible. In fact, she stopped talking to him completely unless it was necessary. Because every statement uttered by her was provoked an argument from him. He would twist her words and her sentences. It was wiser to keep quiet. The only time she would actually smile and talk was when she was alone at home with Manal and Seema. But Manal had become busy as well since she recently graduated, she got a job at a bank and was working full time. So most of the day, it was just her and Seema at home.
The afternoon before the university was to start, Salman sat on the bed with a box in his hands. She was sorting out her clothes for next day to wear when he said loudly to grab her attention, "I got you something."
Confused, she turned to him. Eyeing the white box, she cautiously took a step towards him.
"It's a new phone. I thought you would like to have a new phone when you start university." Salman opened the box and took out the phone. She remained silent and he proceeded in describing the phone, "It is the latest phone. Really great camera and a fast processor." He unlocked the phone and the display screen illuminated, "Look I have also set it up for you. Do you want to use your old sim or a new one I got you?"
"Why did you get me a phone? I was happy with my old phone." she narrowed her eyes. Something wasn't right.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. Making her sit on his lap, he placed the phone on her hand, "A husband can get a gift for his wife, can't he?"
The cold phone on her phone felt alien. Clicking on it, she gazed at it and then finally conceded, "Thank you."
"Look I also put my number on speed dial, so it won't be a problem for you." He again excitedly presented different features of the phone.
She smiled but there was suspicion in her heart. What was going on?
And her suspicion was right...
The phone was to be the first step to her doom.
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There will be more events in the upcoming chapters leading to the next book Amal's story – Fostering You.
Until next time,
Assalam u alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.