the sad boys club
aka axel who can't handle beer and makes out
with a carboard cut out of seb stan,
wyatt whose jawline is uneven and
is a lowkey spicy mexican bean
& miles who sorta looks like
dylan o'brien
axel
wtf happened last night?
miles
something i wish i never saw
wyatt
i'm with miles
i had to wash my eyes out
after seeing you do that
axel
what did i do?
wyatt
you humped a lampost
for like twenty minutes
before complaing that ur
dick hurt
axel
doesn't sound that bad
miles
you got in a fight
with wyatt's lil sis
over who is better looking
chris hemsworth or chris evans?
axel
well duh have you not seen chris h
that man is a god
wyatt
yes but then my sister ended
up kicking you in the balls
and you cried in a corner for
an hour
axel
sounds about right
miles
that's not the only thing that happened
axel
??
wyatt
you said some weird shit to seb stan on twitter
and also why didn't you tell us he followed u
ur a shitty friend like honesty
miles
ur only saying that bc you want to marry rdj
wyatt
he's rich af everybody wants to marry him
axel
oh my god i'm such an idiot
and i can't believed i cried
my life isn't a melanie martinez
song
miles
seriously that's all ur gonna say?
axel
pretty much bc i'm still kinda drunk rn
wyatt
i'm lowkey jealous
miles
anyway me and wyatt are going to lunch 2day
wanna come?
axel
eewww that's gross we're brothers
miles
i hate you so much
axel
let's go mcdonalds
miles
we're not going to mcdonalds
axel
ugh you're so prissy, i want chicken nuggets
wyatt
now i do too mcdonalds here we come!
miles
we're not going to mcdonalds you weirdos
axel
well then we're not going to lunch
wyatt
we're going to mcdonalds miles whether you like it or not!!!
miles
fine
axel
yay also do you wanna pay for my lunch?
miles
why would i pay for your lunch?
axel
because i lost my credit card and i spent all my cash on a card board cut out of sebastian stan
miles
how did you lose your credit card?
axel
i accidentally flushed it down the toilet
miles
how does that even happen?
axel
who the fuck knows?
anyway so you wanna pay for me?
miles
fine but when you marry sebastian stan
i want a date with elizabeth olsen
or chris evans
or both
axel
well considering i tweeted weird shit to him
i doubt that's ever gonna happen but i'll try
miles
you better