This will be a very Emo chapter later on, so put on some sad music, to get over it without cringing too much ;)
Also long ass chapter ahead. Let's goo!
(I just recently 'found' Damien Rice, and I'm currently obsessed with his CDs, especially this song^)
-----------------------
"Thank you", I mumble.
Then I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him.
He stiffens up for a second and I immediately regret it.
Oh no. What have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done shit shit shit what have I done what have-
But then I feel a pair of arms hesitantly snaking around my waist and I feel him burying his head next to mine.
My eyes shoot open.
His body is pressed to mine and I feel warm inside. Noone has ever hugged me like that before.
He breathes in deeply and I feel shivers running down my spine. His scent clouds my mind.
What happened to the I hate you?
Then, as soon as I close my eyes, he abruptly lets go and steps back.
"Take care", he mumbles and leaves through the now opened door. I just stand there and watch him going. I snake my arms around my body. His arms were so warm.
Then I smile when I leave too.
------------------------------------------------------
Good thing this was the last period for today.
I wait for Hyu Jin a couple of minutes in front of the gate but she doesn't turn up, so I just decide to leave.
The walk back to my house goes by faster, as I keep on thinking of Jungkook. I facepalm myself twice, as I can't seem to get him out of my head.
I really can't help but smile.
He's pretty weird. But then again, I am too.
I open the door and grin. I run, more limp to my grandma, hugging her.
"Ohhhh, aigooo, what happened to you?", she frowns when she sees my state.
"Ah, it's nothing!", I pipe out when I hug her again.
She shakes her head on my weird behaviour and takes the bag of food off of my arm. I leave to knock on mom's door.
"Mom?", I ask silently, not wanting to disturb her. But she sits up on her bed and flashes me a small smile.
"What is it, Halla, sweetie? How was your first day at school?", she asks tiredly.
I still stand at the door, the doorknob in my hand.
"It was good, Mom. Really good." I smile towards her. "We are cooking something for dinner. If you want, we can get you, when it's ready."
"Okay", she smiles.
"Okay?", I ask her.
"Yeah. Okay, sweetie. Just give mommy a few more minutes."
I nod and close the door, when she lies down again.
---------------------------------------------------------
When we're done with dinner, I sit down at the table and do my homework.
I only leave Biology, because in that lesson, Jungkook carried me to the infirmary and stitched me up.
That sounds so weird.
I grin at the thought of it. He hugged me back.
I smile.
"Halla, can you please stop that? It's scary", my grandmother suddenly mumbles and I look to her. She's giving me a weird look.
"Sorry", I grin at her and wiggle my eyebrows.
She laughs. "What is it with you today? Had a good day at school? Did you make some friends?"
I nod and tell her about Hyu Jin. ".... She's pretty nice, and Bangtan too."
"What is a Bangtan?", she says suspiciously.
"Ah, just a group of boys."
"I don't want you hanging around with 'just a group of boys'! It's dangerous!", she suddenly exclaims and I snicker.
"They're not like that. Really. And... Jungkook helped me a lot today." I almost whisper.
"Jungkook? Huh? Already have a boyfriend?", she laughs and I shoot her a death glare.
---------------------------------------------------
I finish my homework and get ready for bed.
I look in the mirror and seeing my cheek pale as ever, no red mark on it anymore. The ointment must have helped. Then I look at my stomach.
There is a blue spot, where Mina kneed me before, I cringe in pain, when I touch it.
My ankle is neatly wrapped and I leave it like this. I touch it and remember Jungkook wrapping the bandage around it.
I blush and giggle slightly.
Oh my god, Halla, please. Just stop. You act like you like him.
I frown and climb into my bed. My room is not decorated and contains just a bed, under a big window, a desk, a cupboard and a mirror. There is a lamp right next to my bed.
I enjoy the complete darkness in my room.
But I can't sleep. My thoughts keep travelling around today.
Suddenly I hear screaming. I get scared.
I lift myself up and open the door slightly.
I hear glass shattering. Mom is standing in the kitchen, throwing the plates down, crying hysterically. Then she looks up and sees me.
She looks angry.
My eyes widen and she walks towards my bedroom door.
My breath hitches. I turn around and run to my window. It doesn't open.
Please... come on... Yes!
It opens and the cold air hits me. I quickly climb out of it, when I hear my door being opened, revealing the dark scheme of my mother.
I cry, I feel the tears running down my cheeks.
I don't care about my aching body at that moment, when I let myself fall down the other side, landing on raspy grass.
Sorry, mom. I don't mean to be scared of you. I don't mean to cry.
I love you.
I quickly get up and start running, groaning, as the pain on my ankle grows.
Let's run. Let's get away from here. At least for tonight.
The wind is cold and I run and run.
It is so dark. I can barely see, where I step. I can hear my breath and my heartbeat in my ears. Then I see the street lamp.
Again? One street lamp, that shines on this dark street.
I breathe out heavily and lie down on the sidewalk, panting.
I close my eyes and wipe my tears.
FFfffuuuuuuh, I let my breath out, laying my arms over my closed eyes.
Then, in the next second I hear footsteps.
"You shouldn't be coming here."
I know this voice. This sweet, honey voice. I lie still and I hear him sigh, when he sits down next to my lying form.
"I thought, this would be clear after what happened yesterday."
I smile, but don't say a word.
We stay like this for a few minutes, then I open my eyes and pull my arms away from my face, wiping my tears on the way.
He is staring at the street and doesn't turn around, when I sit up.
"What are you doing here?", I ask Jungkook silently. It comes out like a whisper.
He purses his lips and thinks a second. "I don't know."
"Wait. Do you live here?", I smile a little, stupid question.
"Yes."
I look at him dumbfounded.
Wait. What? He lives here.
No.
"No." I shake my head and breathe out.
"Yes." He says again.
No, never. This is not a place for him to live. Not for an almost-idol. This is the darkest place of Seoul for a reason.
"We're not so different, aren't we?", he says and smiles sadly. He turns in my direction and sees my dumbfounded expression. He giggles, when I close my mouth and shoot him a death glare.
But then his laughter comes to a stop and he looks worried. He points a finger to my face and gives me questioning look.
I furrow my eyebrows. What does he mean?
He extends his hand further and wipes over my cheek with his thumb.
My eyes flutter. Oh.
I look away and he sinks back again, after a while.
"Let's go back." He stands up and helps me up.
"I can go back myself."
"Don't be silly. I'll walk you back."
"No, really I'm-"
"Just shut up."
I close my mouth at that and we start walking. It takes longer walking back. I feel the slience getting awkward.
I cough slightly, thinking hard. "So...um... what's your favorite subject?", I ask him.
He just snorts. "That's the best you can do?"
"I suck at smalltalk."
"I figured."
"Well, try better", I hiss at him and glare. I can only see his teeth in the darkness, when he smiles his smile.
Bunny smile.
"Alright. Why was your cheek red this morning?"
I frown and stiffen. "No reason." I shoot back.
"Why wouldn't you let me check your stomach."
"Cause I'm a girl."
"I don't see you as a girl."
"What?!", I almost scream at him and he breaks out into giggles. I hit his shoulder.
He just keeps walking and I can almost hear him grinning.
"Why don't you answer my questions."
I stop. We're in front of our house. He steps in front of me and I can see his eyes now, glowing in my direction.
I just sigh. "Thanks for walking me. See you tomorrow. Goodnight, Jungkook."
I turn around and am about to walk to the door, when I hear the screaming and glass shattering.
It isn't over yet. I gulp.
"I HATE THIS!! I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE... PLEASE... JUST- LET ME GO!"
My eyes widen when I hear my mother's words. I can't swallow properly and my eyes sting.
What are you saying?
"You can take care better of her... you... BETTER THAN I CAN! JUST LET ME GO!! LET... ME LEAVE...You didn't see the look on her face. She's scared. SHE'S SCARED!! SHE'S FUCKING SCARED OF HER OWN MOTHER!!"
No, mom, I'm not scared of you.
I whimper, as I feel the tears running down my cheeks. My heart hurts.
Don't leave, like him. We'll get through this. Make me hurt more.
I hear more glass shattering and the shadow of her on the curtain. I listen to her sobbing loudly and sink to my knees, when she does.
"Take care of her... take care of Halla. I love you mom. I love you mom." She sobs.
I hear a few calming words of my grandmother and hear her sob even louder.
Don't you leave.
I sink to the wall and bury my face in my hands. My heart tightens and I can't stop the tears and the sobs escaping my mouth.
Then, suddenly, I feel something shift next to me and feel arms wrapping around me. I stiffen for a second, when Jungkook places my head softly on his chest.
What is he still doing here. Go away.
No, stay.
I wrap my arms around him and hug him back. My fingers clench around the hem of his shirt and I bury my face in his chest, as he strokes his hand over my head.
At this moment, I don't care, that it's really embarrassing.
He strokes my back and pulls me closer.
He whispers calming words in my ear.
"Halla... Halla, it's okay. Everything will be okay. Halla?"
I desperately push myself closer and hug him tighter.
You don't know that.
"Sorry", I mutter, when I finally get my breath back. He just keeps on patting my back in comfort. I let go of him, when it gets silent in the house.
I breathe in deeply and see his eyes in front of mine.
He's asking me something, but I don't seem to listen.
Get your shit together, Halla.
"I need to go in there." I try to explain and his brows furrow. He thinks for a few seconds, then he nodds.
He helps me standing up. His hands on my arms, helping me standing still, although the shivers take over my body. I clench my teeth.
He uses his thumb to softly clean my tears, the second time of the day and I close my eyes a second, when his soft hand touches my skin.
Thank you.
Then I give him a weak smile, which he returns after a while.
As I'm about to turn around, he stops me on my arm.
He leans forward and plants a soft kiss on my forehead, making my stomach flutter.
Then he watches me opening the door.
Our eyes meet before I close it. I see his worried expression and mumble a little "Thank you."
------------------------------------
Mom sees me instantly and I just stand there, watching her.
Her hands are bleeding and Grandma cowers beside her, stroking her hair.
They are surrounded by all the glass shatters and broken plates. I see my favourite mug, green and blue dotted, on the floor. Broken with everything else.
She slowly looks at me.
So much hate in her eyes.
But not towards me, towards herself.
She cries more and I almost run to her, closing her into my arms.
"Mom. Mom. Listen to me. I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I love you so much. Please. Please stop crying. I love you." I say over and over again but she doesn't calm down.
I see my Grandma, who leaves us a little space. She looks sad.
I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry I made you look like a monster.
"Shh, Mom, shhh... I love you. Don't leave. I need you.
I'm sorry... I love you. Please stop crying. It's my fault.
Forgive me."
---------------------------------------------
*cries in different languages, mostly Korean*
This is some shitty drama right there...-.-
Anyways, have a nice day everyone and FIRRREEEE!!
Nothing more to say.
Here, take some /Kookie/
ALSOOO check out lilcinnamonsuga
Her Min Yoongi ff is really awesomeee *.*
BYEEEE<3<3<3