"She needs more pillows."
"No, sweetheart. She doesn't. She'll hurt her back with those four."
"Do you want some tea?"
"Someone get her a blanket."
"That's it. I'm getting her more pillows."
The whirlwind of bodies entered and reentered the sitting room of Gran's house, their worried faces finding it difficult to look at me for moments at a time before suddenly finding something else that I desperately needed.
"I don't need anything else," I insisted. "I mean it. Dad, please don't get more pillows."
The occupants of the room became still. Gran stopped from her progression to the kitchen to make me tea while my mother stopped tucking in the edges of my blanket despite the fact that I tugged myself out of the cocoon each time, far too warm to be wrapped up. Chase continued to hover above my head, his hand gripping his chin with concerned eyes resting upon me while my father laid a hand on my pillows, as if to check if they were the correct level of fluffiness to suit me.
"Thank you for worrying about me. But I just need some rest." I tried to smile in an attempt to reassure them of my growing health in hopes of saving my sanity.
There seemed to be no end to the fussing over me. I had thought the hard thing about being in a coma was 'waking up' yet that was only the beginning. Despite Dr Edwards being hopeful for a full recovery, I was kept under observation in the ICU, in case any worrying symptoms occurred. As my doctor predicted, I suffered from headaches, the kind that felt like a hammer had been allowed to wreck havoc on my mind and grew progressively worse when exposed to a loud sound or a glare of sunlight. Each symptom was met and recorded with concern and even more observation. When the headaches began to subside to my and everyone else's relief, I thought the nightmare was over.
I was wrong.
I left my room in the ICU unit only to be moved to the neurology unit for even more observation. It was appropriate for me to be moved to the brain squad because I was beginning to fear I was losing my mind.
It was not until a month after I had woken up, before I was allowed home.
Yet I was here and I still felt the suffocation of eyes watching me for any sign of symptoms. It felt as if I would never leave the hospital. I was to become a permanent patient for the rest of my life.
Eventually the people in the room began to retreat to the door, their faces trying desperately to be optimistic. Once I was alone, I rested my head back on the pillows and tried to have a quick sleep before I would be surrounded once again, only to groan in frustration when my neck was positioned in an awkward position.
With a grunt, I removed a pillow from behind me, thanking whoever had convinced my father that more pillows was a bad idea.
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Three days later I was allowed to leave the comfort of the living room and once again explore the world on my own two feet. I had missed my independence and it felt satisfying to do what I wanted when I felt the wish to do so.
I sat on the stool in the kitchen, resting my forearms on the marble counter. The cool exterior felt delicious in dry heat of the day. My mother busied herself by deciding to make a dinner tonight, to celebrate my health. Scott would be there, a welcome face with everything that had happened. It made me somewhat warm inside to think of how he had been during the entire hospital stay and since I had returned home. It was true that actions spoke louder than words because his actions reassured me of every sentiment he had ever given me. He cared for me and loved me. If the roles had been reversed, I knew that I would have done the exact same thing.
My amorous thoughts were interrupted by my mother, her voice was sharp to catch my attention.
"Morgan? Are you even listening to me?"
I snapped my attention to her, shaking my head with an apologetic smile.
"No, sorry. What were you saying?"
"You're father and I have been discussing what's going to happen next."
I nodded my head, signalling for her to continue.
"Well. We can't stay in your grandmother's house forever. It's been too long already. That's why we've decided that it's time to go home. All of us. To Colorado."
I was momentarily speechless, my mind suddenly too stunned to form together sentences to convey the level of horror within me. Scott. Tessa. Piper. Ryan. Gran. I would be leaving them all behind. To return to the empty nothingness of my previous life in Colorado. Living with my parents would be a return to normalcy that I did not want.
"No." The word felt as if it had been ripped from my throat. Tears formed in my eyes as I blinked away the image of saying goodbye to Scott.
"No. I'm not leaving." I repeated, feeling the quiver in my voice.
They were the ones who had brought me here. They were the ones who left, full of assurances that everything would be fine. That I would make friends. I would feel at home here. Well. Yes. I had made friends and I did feel at home here. Now I was to be taken away and placed in another home, to be assured that it would all be fine. That Colorado was home. A home without the people I loved from here.
My mother stopped rummaging in the cupboards and leaned against the counter beside me, her eyes wide and empathetic.
"I know that you've made friends here sweetheart. I know. It doesn't seem fair. But we aren't returning to the cruise. Not after what happened. But we can't stay here either. The only logical solution is to go home. You came here for the experience, just like your Gran wanted and you got hurt. You have no idea how scary that was for us. To want to protect you but not being there to do so. We both think it would be best for us all to go home, where it's safe."
She reached out to take my hand.
It hurt to do so but I snatched my hand away.
"What about school?" I asked, hoping to try a different route of reason.
"You can return to being home schooled. I'm sure we can pick up where you left off in school." Her answers were too well thought out and my mind turned from disbelief that this might actually happen to horror that it most definitely was going to.
"This isn't fair. Not on me or on Chase. He has a life here too. A girlfriend. Friends. You can't just drag him back because it's not safe for me."
"Chase will understand."
I left the stool, swiping away a stray tear.
"No. He won't."
Without another word, I left the room. The only sound from the kitchen was the echo of the door I had slammed.
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Dinner was a silent affair.
Gran attempted conversation, her manners too polite to allow the awkward tension to reign. I wondered if she knew, if what I thought was a bravado was simply her lack of energy to care that we could be leaving.
Scott was seated beside me and I saw the glances he shot at me. I knew he was worried. I hadn't had the time to tell him. Nor the guts to. He was confused at my silence and the fact that I would not even look in the direction of my parents.
Chase, who sat opposite me, glared at his food, his fork trapped in his clenched fist. I had told him our parents plan while upstairs in his bedroom. His frustration had been palpable. He didn't agree with their belief that returning home was the best for us but his innate desire to please them battled with his thoughts. He sat silent. Tessa attempted to engage him in conversation with Gran but not a word left his lips.
"Shall we have a toast? To Morgan and her health."
Glasses raised, clinked and descended once. I stole a glance at my parents, only to find that my father was watching me with worried eyes. I held his stare before turning away. Tears threatened to spill once more.
"That's it," Gran said, piercing the silence. "I've had enough of your brooding faces. Why don't we all have a talk? Let's just get everything out in the open."
"That would be nice." Scott murmured beside me, giving me a pointed look.
"There is no need for that mother," My dad sighed. "We can talk about it later."
Gran took another sip of her wine, holding my fathers gaze.
"I am a firm believer of living in the present Chris. Let's talk about it now," She placed down her knife and fork. "You plan on taking my grandchildren and returning to Colorado, yes?"
Scott's body jerked beside me, his torso became rigid. I reached under the table and took his hand, squeezing it in an attempt to soothe both myself and him. After a moment's pause, he returned the pressure.
"Wilma." My mother warned, yet it was futile.
"Sandra, I would like to understand why you feel that this move is necessary. Please do not begrudge me an explanation."
"Mother, we do not need to explain to you what we decide for our own family," My dad interjected from his place sitting opposite Gran. I finally raised my gaze to stare at them fully, to see the sadness in my mothers gaze and the frustration in my fathers.
The anger that raged within me suddenly had an opponent. Guilt. As always, my parents were doing what they thought best for us. Unlike the other times, this time they were wrong.
"I don't want anybody to argue."
My voice silenced the bitter words beginning to fly across the table. Chase looked to me, his face expressionless but I could see the dread in his eyes. It was the same look mirrored in mine.
"We love you both so much," I began, directing my words to the people who had given birth to me. "But I don't want to leave. Neither does Chase. It's not fair to take us away from the people we love. I think you know that." I tried to steady the quiver in my voice, the desperation to stay tightening my throat.
"We can't leave you here," My mother said, her voice sounded as weak as mine. "We can't just go home without our children."
There didn't seem to be an argument to refute that. Even Gran was silent, staring at her half eaten plate.
"I've lost my appetite." Dad announced, pushing away from the table. He left the room and moments later, my mother followed without a word.
The door shut. Tessa pressed her hands to her eye sockets, rubbing them with a sigh.
"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?" She directed her words to no one, yet we knew who she spoke to. Chase did not reply, his jaw clenching with pent up emotion that he refused to acknowledge. Tessa did not wait another moment longer before jumping from her seat and following the exit of my parents. My brother's footsteps soon were heard and then the steady beat of my Gran's heels. Minutes had passed before Scott and I were alone.
He sighed.
"I thought the hospital would be the hard part."
I nodded, feeling my throat constrict.
"I'm not letting you leave. I hope you know that." He said, his eyes on the empty chairs in front of us.
"I am so glad you said that. I might have to hide in your closet for a few months."
With a breath of relief I noticed his lips curve into a grin.
"You wouldn't hear me complaining."
I laughed despite the heavy feeling in my chest. It was comforting to know that when a cloud of darkness threatened to smother you, there were moments where you had fresh air to breathe, to give you a measure of hope to keep going. He was that for me.
Without a word, he lifted our joined hands to his mouth, touching a light kiss to my knuckles, his eyes meeting mine.
I inhaled, resolute in the fact that there was no possible force on earth that could compel me to leave him. Not one.
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I awoke the next morning with the same resolution in my head.
I am not leaving. I am not leaving. I am not leaving him.
It propelled me forward, to get dressed, to find my parents and make them see that despite the fact that they wanted to protect us, this decision would only hurt.
With this thought in my mind, I entered the kitchen, ready for battle.
They sat around the breakfast table, hands wrapped around steaming mugs and their faces caught in a wave of concentration. Chase and my parents. There eyes found me when I entered.
"Did I miss the memo for a meeting?" I asked, examining Chases' expression for clues as to how I should approach this situation. Unfortunately his face was a mask as he stared back at us.
"We wanted you to have rest." My mother explained, rising to get another cup. I shook my head and she sat back down. There seemed too little time for coffee when I still did not know what the outcome of this talk would be. Would it be final? Would we definitely be leaving?
I took my seat beside Chase, waiting for the confirmation of my fear.
"We were just asking Chase what he would like to happen." Dad said. I looked go Chase who throughout this entire debacle had remained far too silent. It was frightening now when his opinion seemed to be in the spotlight, used to weigh the argument this way or that.
"I want to stay here." Chase said. My shaky breath of relief was audible in the sun soaked room as my parents watched on.
"I understand sweetheart," Mother sounded close to tears and without hesitation I reached out and grabbed her hand, clutching her slender fingers. "Your father and I talked last night. We hear you. You both don't want to leave and we can't make you."
"We made a few calls. The cruise is docked in France for a week and our places have been saved for us. We booked flights to return. You can stay here for the rest of the school year." Dad said, a small smile reached his face as he saw our relieved faces and exuberant smiles.
Their love for us outweighed their need to be with us and for that I loved them even more. The few days we got to spend with them before they left were bitter sweet. I recognised the irony that I would miss them so much yet their leaving meant I could stay. Gran never showed it but I knew she was delighted for us to remain with her. Together we went out to dinner and sat in to watch movies, enjoying the time together before they would leave.
The day they left, Chase and I stood on the door of Gran's house and said our goodbyes. It was far too similar to the day we had departed from Colorado and when the door of their taxi closed, I cried once more. It was bitter sweet. My parents were once again gone. Yet when we turned and entered the house once more, Gran was there to shock us with a brief hug. Chase left to meet with Tessa, their brief argument the other night forgotten when the news that we would be staying was relayed to her. Behind Gran, Scott stood, ready to take me into his arms. I sighed, content to be just where I was.
Here.
Here I was home.
*Authors Note*
I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Please give all your love! Votes and comments are really appreciated.
Epilogue to come...
~Claudia