SPOILER ALERT: For all those readers who haven't read Finding You, it is highly advised to read it before this chapter.
-----------------
The blood rushed through Nawal's veins as Salman's statement registered. Why was he always after my back?
"These are the abbayas we have in UK size 12." The shopkeeper pointed out to Salman.
Nawal wasn't able to see exactly what kind of abayas were being selected but her jaw clenched and her chest was rising and falling rapidly. She clutched the hijab in her hand tightly struggling to control her temper. It was her decision what she wears. How many times will she have to tell him that she was dressed modestly? Why was he adamant to force his way with her? For God's sake, she never wore half sleeves. She always left the house with a hijab and her clothes were not closely fit that would reveal her figure. So what was the problem? Why the abbaya?
"Can I see the blue one?" Salman's instruction was the last straw she could take. How dare he? Not even asking me once?
Stuffing the selected hijabs back on the rack, she spun around to face her obnoxious husband. She stomped towards him, leaving behind baffled Manal next to the hijab rack.
Not caring what the shopkeeper would think or that Manal was still within earshot, Nawal hissed, "What do you think you are doing?"
Salman eyes diverted from the blue abbaya in question to his wife and he frowned, "I was looking abbayas for you."
"Why?" her hands settled on her hips defensively.
"We have discussed this already Nawal. Let us buy one now and then we can talk it out once we are home." He calmly reasoned.
She shook her head, "If you think you can order me around and force your decision down my throat then you are wrong I am not going to do it." She glanced at the abbaya with contempt, "I am not buying anything. I don't need any hijabs and I definitely do NOT need any abbaya."
"Nawal –" but it was too late. Nawal quickly strode out of the shop.
Shaking his head in defeat, he turned to the wide eyed shopkeeper, "I will think about buying the abbaya some other time."
His eyes met Manal's who stood frozen with a few hijabs in her arms, "Are you done?"
She slowly nodded and went to the cash counter. Once the payment was made the sibling duo were on the verge of leaving the shop when Manal touched her brother's sleeve, "That was a bit harsh of Nawal. She has no respect for you."
Salman grew rigid.
Exhaling, Manal then continued, "She should be respecting you not embarrassing you in front of the world." She then shrugged imperturbably, "I thought she was finally accepting you as her husband." Her voice lowered, "I guess I was wrong."
Stunned, Salman soundlessly followed his sister out the shop contemplating the whole scenario. All he wanted was to purchase an abbaya. He wasn't asking her to wear it at that moment but gradually she could get used to it and eventually it becomes a habit.
She was his wife and he had a right to take care and look out for her. But she was determined to act over smart and above all not understand him. Worse now, she had embarrassed him in front of his sister and the people at the shop. As he glanced at his fuming wife standing next to the car with her arms crossed over her chest, his disposition soured exceedingly. He wasn't going to make up with her this time. Let her burn in her rage for all he cared.
Without even a slight glimpse at her, he unlocked the car with the automatic car key button and slid in the driving seat. No one spoke on the drive back home.
She wasn't a young girl who can throw tantrums and disrespect others. And he was no young boy who will take it lightly. He was a respected man and the least he expects from her was respect. It was time his wife learned this.
****
"Fadil" called Ramlah as she covered the chicken biryani pot lid and simmered the stove to very low flame so that the rice can cook with the chicken sauce for the next 20 minutes.
She was sweating for being in the kitchen all day cooking an array of dishes for their friends who were invited for the dinner. Her parents in law were away for a few days to United Kingdom to meet some relatives and here she was running around completing all tasks on time. It was good that Fadil was off today and he was able to distract Ejaz all day and was taking care of him. Now time was running late and she had to dress Ejaz and herself.
She whirled around to leave the kitchen when she bumped to an athletic 6 feet body. Wiping the perspiration from her forehead with her forearm, she looked up at her husband and some of the stress left her body. Fadil was standing with a very wet Ejaz wrapped in a towel in his arms. "I gave him a bath but I had no clue what he should be wearing."
She smiled gratefully and squeezed Fadil's arm, "How did you know I was about to tell you to give him a bath?"
He winked, "I know you well. Besides how much can you do? You have been in the kitchen all day."
But that wasn't the truth. Fadil had helped in cleaning the house while she cooked different dishes. And he had been keeping an eye on Ejaz. If truth be said, Fadil had done more than his share of the job.
She scrunched her nose, "I know I stink now. All those spices and this killer summer heat has really affected me."
Fadil chuckled and bent down, lightly kissing her cheek, "You still are delicious."
Her eyes widened, "Behave you are holding your son in your arms."
Eyeing their son who was still holding on to the rubber ducky he was playing in the bath, "Hmmm... we will continue this tonight then." He smirked naughtily.
Splaying her hands on his back, she gently pushed him out of kitchen, "C'mon my Mr. Naughty, time for us to get ready before the guests come. And I definitely need a shower."
When they were on the first step of the stairs going up to their bedroom, "Maybe we should shower together." His eyes lightened with mischief, "It will be quicker."
Squeezing past him on the stairs, Ramlah skidded up the stairs, "You have a very bad timing to joke around."
"But you love it."
She turned around and chastely kissed his lips, "I love you. But that doesn't mean I am listening to any of your bizarre ideas."
He narrowed his eyes, "I will tell you how bizarre they are tonight."
Biting her inner cheek, she giggled, "We shall see."
****
There was extreme tension in their bedroom. They were silent as they got ready. Nawal was pinning her hijab when she discreetly gazed at her husband from the corner of her eyes. He hadn't uttered a single word since they had been back. In fact, he had ignored her presence as if she was invisible. It was hard to digest this as in the last month since their wedding she had gotten used to his bantering.
She was in a turmoil to either to speak or not. To break this ice between them. If she didn't take any action, their problems will easily be seen outwardly to others at the dinner, she cringed to let others know what was going wrong between them.
All her friends were happily married and she was ... well trying to cope with her newly married life. There was no point of letting others know what she was suffering. She abhorred to be pitied by others. And from the looks of it, her husband planned to be stubborn about it.
Taking a pearls and gems bracelet from her jewellery box, she warily neared him. He was rolling up the sleeves on his forearm of his white and blue stripped shirt. He was breathtakingly dressed in his dull blue straight cut jeans that were slightly faded at the thighs and knees. As he rolled his sleeves back, his muscular arms were emphasized. The shirt fitted him well accentuating his well-built chest and broad shoulders. But no matter how well he looked in his clothes, the creased on his forehead and the displeased curve of his lips didn't suit him.
Hesitantly, she cleared her throat. "C..can you help me with this?" she stuttered extending her wrist so he could lock the pearl bracelet.
He looked up and replied with litter regard, "Ask Manal she will do it for you." He was turning away from her when she held his arm stopping him.
"I want you to do it." she said her eyes searching his. But he didn't meet her gaze instead hastily took hold of the bracelet and locked it around her wrist. Without another word or a glance, he crossed the room to the door.
"I am waiting in the living room for you," he said over his shoulder and left.
Her shoulders slumped. Why was he being so difficult? It was her decision what she wore. It wasn't like she had done anything wrong. If only he would have spoken to her earlier before choosing the abaya. Even if he had asked in the shop prior to selecting it, she would have readily agreed. But his disregard that her opinion mattered in the decision had hurt her. And now he was acting as if she had hurt him. Well, she can't always be agreeing to him all the time.
She scanned her appearance in the mirror one more time. She was donned in a designer wear silk lace pastel pink salwar kameez. The trendy fitting pants and short kameez enhanced her beauty. The colour of the dress easily reflecting on her face. The matching chiffon hijab complimented the dress. Strapping the pearl beige sandals, she was ready to go.
Perhaps, meeting friends will melt the ice between them.
But this was just the start...
****
The dinner was a success. Sana and Saad were also invited. The men were in the living room conversing while the women chatted in the kitchen and helped out Ramlah serve the dinner. Ramlah had outdone herself by cooking a variety of dishes. There was Greek salad, chicken samosas, beef kofta curry, achari sabzi (vegetable curry) chicken biryani, raita and naan bread. The men were seated at the dining table enjoying the scrumptious meals while the women ate at the kitchen table with their little ones playing around with Ejaz's ample toy collections of cars and teddy bears.
"Marriage suits you well, Nawal. Mashaa Allah you look radiant," exclaimed Sana as she fed her baby girl a spoonful of mashed rice.
Nawal smiled politely and took another bite of biryani. She was uncomfortable talking about her marriage. She was about to change the topic when Ramlah added, "See I told you Sana, Nawal will be happy with Salman bhai. Fadil says he is a very caring person."
Sana nodded, holding the plastic water filled baby beaker allowing her little girl to drink, "Yes since I know Saad, all of them have been friends. And what is even better is that they got us as their wives and we have been friends for a long time."
Ramlah eyes lit up, "Yes this way we can have more get together and there is no awkwardness as to not knowing each other and going through the introductions and being formal."
"Are you planning to go on a honeymoon Nawal?" Sana probed.
Feeling uneasy, Nawal lowered her eyes, "No. He has a lot of work right now."
"Oh that was the same case with Fadil. Don't worry I am sure when the time comes Salman bhai will take you somewhere great and it will be memorable." Ramlah had a dreamy look.
Sana chuckled, "Oh yes how can I forget your Turkey trip," she winked.
Ramlah giggled and Nawal was puzzled as to what was the secret behind the trip. Before anyone further questioned about her marriage, Nawal hastily changed the topic, "Ramlah how did you manage to cook so much in such a short time and especially with a toddler."
Taking the rice platter, Ramlah walked to the cooker and started refiling it with chicken biryani, "Alhumdulilah Fadil was home today so it was alright. In fact, he did most of the work. Minding Ejaz and also cleaning the house. Then setting up the table for everyone while I got dressed."
"Mashaa Allah it is a blessing to have a husband who helps at house chores. Saad is always helping out as well especially with the girls. I don't even know where they are when he is home. They are following their father everywhere." Sana again stuffed young Nida mouth with a spoonful of mashed rice.
Nawal looked away from the two women as they continued to gush about their husband. She had thought of Daud as a helpful husband. A man who understood her and most of all he was ready to mould himself for her. Seeing this trait in him, she was ready to give everything in their relationship. But with Salman, it was as if they were on a constant tug of war. Both of them never ready to relent to the other. A month had passed by in this volatile relationship and in a couple of weeks new semester will start. She was never looking forward to going back to university as she was now. Being a few hours away from home would give her the needed respite.
"Nawal? What do you have to say?" Ramlah asked as she lifted Ejaz in her arms.
"What?" Nawal blinked rapidly as she came out of her reverie.
Sana grinned, "The bride is too busy thinking of her groom."
Nawal smiled back but her thoughts became bleak.
If only they knew what she was going through.
However, on the dining table the men continued to talk about world affairs and sports.
"Misbah ul Haq has really shut everyone's mouth. Look how he played in the last test match." Remarked Fadil as he grabbed a chicken samosa.
"Oh yes and his push ups are being talked all over the social media and the news," Saad added, devouring the beef kofta.
Salman half-heartedly smiled which never reached his eyes, "Yes he was very impressive."
"I enjoyed watching it." Fadil beamed, taking a bite of his samosa. "It's a pleasure to see when the Pakistani cricket team is doing well."
"They are due to come in Ireland in a couple of week's right?" Saad mused.
"Oh yes about that I wanted to ask should I get the tickets for us all?" Fadil suggested.
Saad nodded enthusiastically while Salman looked up from his plate, "Ya fine by me." he mumbled.
"For both matches?" Fadil again asked and continued to relish his samosa.
The other two men nodded.
They conversation shifted to politics and Salman added his insight but his heart was not in the conversation. He was still seething from this afternoon's incident and was in no mood for any cheerful chat. But for appearance sake, he had controlled his fury. The question was how long? She kept pushing him to the edge.
Pushing his food in his plate with his spoon, he decided, he had to keep calm for his and Nawal's sake. Otherwise, he had a fair idea the situation will head for the worst.
****
It was nearly midnight that the men rose to leave. The young children were asleep already and Saad was carrying his daughters one at a time to their house that was across the street. Salman shook hands with Fadil, "I enjoyed myself a lot. We should meet up again."
Before Fadil could reply, the voices from the women caught Salman's attention.
Ramlah was inviting Nawal, "Come over some time during the day before your university starts. But I think you are still in your honeymoon period Salman bhai wouldn't want you out of his side."
"I will try but it's difficult knowing him I need to have an application ready to be allowed to come to you. Even though, he is busy at work and has no time to entertain me." Nawal mocked and then giggled at her own joke.
Fadil eyebrows rose but he remained silent. Salman gritted his teeth and hurriedly turned around towards the door. Nawal was determined to embarrass him everywhere he went.
He slumped on the driver seat of his car and waited for Nawal to say her final goodbyes. When she sat on her seat, he spat, "How long does it take to say goodbye? You have been at the door for the last ten minutes but your chatting doesn't cease."
Nawal was buckling her seatbelt. Her hands stilled. Startled, she looked up at him, "What's your problem?"
Salman grip on the steering wheel tightened, "Nawal for once keep your mouth shut."
Nawal opened her mouth to retaliate but instead closed it and looked out the window. It was wiser to keep quiet, otherwise she would be insulted further. What was he irritated about now?
The dark alleys of Dublin disappeared. The dark starless sky of summer night spoke of the gloominess which she felt in her heart and saw in her life ahead.
****
"Aaaah I am tired." Ramlah slumped on the bed. She looked over her shoulder and mumbled tiredly, "Can you unzip my dress?"
Fadil moved behind her back, the zip slid down easily exposing her smooth curvy of her back. With his thumb putting light pressure he pressed along her spinal cord, "hmmm." she sighed as her muscles relaxed.
His hands going around her shoulders he started massaging the tense muscles, "That feels good," she murmured.
"You were busy all day. Let me help you," Fadil concentrated in massaging the exhausted shoulder blades. Her head lulled downwards, giving him room to continue his caring ministrations. "You really impressed everyone with your culinary skills today."
Smilingly, she released the band from her hair, the black locks falling around her shoulders and over Fadil's hands. "Your hands are so soothing." She whispered.
"Is that so? Maybe now should be the time to apply my bizarre ideas." His lips trailed at the back of her neck in a suggestive manner. Tingles were felt down her spine and she sighed. "Ya maybe."
Her head fell back on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around her waist, drawing her back to his chest. His lips following the path to her exposed shoulder. Pulling down the neckline of the dress so that his lips lingered on the collarbone.
Her eyes closed, she spoke softly, "I thank Allah every day for a loving husband."
He lifted his head from her neck, "And why are you saying that?" he narrowed his eyes.
She chuckled and playfully pinched his cheek, "I don't want anything if that's what your concern is." She sobered, "I was thinking after seeing Nawal and Salman bhai. I believe they have a long way to go before they can find happiness."
Fadil eyebrows creased, "Funny I felt the same about them."
She snuggled against his chest, "Well the first few weeks of marriage are awkward. Don't you remember us?"
He kissed her temple, "But we weren't hostile with each other."
"True." She thought for a minute, "I do pray they find their happiness. Nawal is a great friend of mine."
"And so is Salman"
She pushed away from Fadil, "I better change. I may end up sleeping like this and ruin the dress."
Fadil tugged on her dress on the shoulder, "So about the bizarre ideas?"
Ramlah smiled, "You never forget, do you?" But love shone from her eyes.
"You know what you mean to me. I don't think I need to say it all the time." he teased.
"Well it's nice to hear once in a while."
"I will not only tell you but show you as well." He tugged the dress further.
And he did tell and show her...
****
Nawal and Salman had been laying on the bed for last half an hour. She was still wide awake. Again, there was no conversation between them. She didn't know how to thaw this ice. Biting her lip, she turned on the bed towards him. His back was facing her. She touched his shoulder, "Are you awake?"
He shrugged away her hand, "Go to sleep Nawal." He mumbled sleepily.
"What's bothering you?" her hand slid down to his arm.
"Nawal not now."
She pulled back her hand and turned to her side. Why can't they live in harmony?
Her dismal eyes were closing when the vibration of her phone alerted her. Confused, she clicked on the text message,
Nawal? Can we talk?
----------------------
Finally, the chapter is out..inshaa Allah I will try and update Forgiving You every second day from now on.
Until next time,
Assalam u alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.