Chapter Fourteen
I must have fallen asleep last night before Jackson came back into the room because I wake up under the covers in my clothes. Jackson is in the shower and I lie awake in bed, trying to convince myself that I am different and enough for him. I’m not very convincing.
I pretend that everything is ok when he kisses me goodbye on his way out to practice. Before we leave my room, he stops at the jewelry box that belonged to my mother and touches the little dancer on top. “Why doesn’t she dance, Rookie?” He asks me and I shrug my shoulders.
“My aunt says that my mother played her too much.” I trace my finger over her small frame and wonder what song she used to dance too. I want nothing more in this moment than to call my mother and ask her about love. “I wish she would dance for me.”
“Let me take her home and see what I can do.” Jackson traces a line from my forehead to the tip of my nose and then leans in and gives me a kiss. “No promises but I might be able to fix her.” I nod my head yes and my heart allows me to hope for a minute that he can fix her and that we are ok. I didn’t read the messages on his phone last night, but I wanted to.
“I will see you tonight, Maddy.” Jackson tucks the jewelry box under his arm and grabs his bag. He gives me one last kiss and then leaves my apartment.
I decide it is time to check back in with Greg, so I curl up in my bed and make the call. If I had made the call yesterday, I would have told him I wanted to be with Jackson. Today, I decide that maybe his prediction is coming true. His phone rings a few times and then his assistant Emily picks up. “Hey Madeline, it’s Emily. Greg can’t get to his phone right now. He is in the office trying to sort some things out before Monday. Do you want to leave a message?” I shake my head no but then realize she can’t see me.
“No, Emily. I just thought I would catch him. How is he?”
“To be honest, I’m not sure. He seems ok during the day but the nights are really rough.” I can hear empathy in her voice and I hope that he will confide in her while he is away from me. I miss our friendship and know he must miss having someone to talk to also.
“I will try to call again soon, Emily. Thanks for being there for him.” We say our goodbyes and I make my way into the shower so that I can start my day. When I get out I can see that my phone has a message from Caleb.
Caleb: Hey Madeline. I miss you. Sorry about lunch the other day. Ben can be intense.
Me: Miss you too. Lunch sucked! Ben passed intense years ago.
Caleb: Meet me for lunch today. No grilling you for state secrets I promise. ;)
Me: I would love to.
We decide to meet at a little sandwich shop close to campus. He looks more relaxed today, wearing jeans and a t-shirt instead of his suit. His arms engulf me in a hug when I get to his table. We sit down and order our sandwiches. I have always been close to Caleb and I haven’t noticed with all the stress lately how much I have missed talking to him.
“I have really missed you, Caleb.”
“I have missed you too, Madeline. Ben is all spun up over this Greg and Jackson thing and has been making everyone’s life hell for days. He is so sure Jackson is wrong for you that he can’t look past what he has heard and see the whole picture.” The waitress brings our drinks and smiles at Caleb. Caleb returns her smile causing her to blush.
“What’s the big picture? Greg is an aspiring business mogul and Jackson is a college football player from the South. The big picture is that I don’t have a chance convincing Ben and Dad that Jackson is worthy of our family,” I layer that heavy with sarcasm, “I don’t even know if I want to anymore.” I twist my straw in my Coke and take a deep breath.
“Trouble in paradise?” Caleb kicks my foot under the table causing my gaze to meet his again. “Do you even know what you have got yourself into, Little Sis?” He knows something, I can tell by his tone and the way he’s staring at me.
“What do you mean? I got myself into a messed up situation. I got myself into a big risk of heartbreak. I got myself into trouble with the family…”
“You got yourself into a relationship with the heir to the Rider Corporation.” Caleb drops that like a bomb and I feel the blood first drain from my face, then rush back in with a wave of heat. The Rider Corporation, a direct competitor of my family’s business. No wonder Ben is freaking out. Jackson’s family not only has more money than mine, it has more power. I can’t believe I never connected the dots. When Jackson’s father passed away, he left the business to his son, but under the care of the shareholder board until that son turns twenty-five.
In four years Jackson will be the owner and CEO of Rider Corporation. “Are you sure?” Caleb chuckles and leans back in the booth.
“Madeline, I wouldn’t mess around with something like this. We have been watching Rider Corporation for years. We know all of the shareholders and board members; we just didn’t know the relation between the company and your Jackson until a few days ago.” I close my eyes and cover my face, leaning both elbows on the table.
“I don’t think he is just my Jackson.” It is a whisper but Caleb catches it.
“What do you mean?” He is leaning into the table now too.
“I think he is talking to another girl. A cheerleader he used to hook up with. Ben might be right---an ass, but a correct one.” Caleb rubs circles on my back until I cross my arms and lean against the back of the booth.
“Madeline, don’t get ahead of yourself. He has girls around him all the time, that just goes with the territory of being a college football player.” I nod my head but still can’t get the evidence out of my mind.
“I saw him talking to her twice and last night she was texting him.” I feel stupid for even admitting I might have fought for him for nothing.
“Hang on, I need to call CNN….you mean he talked to a female and then received a message from her…..shit this is terrible.” I giggle at his sarcasm and am grateful for this easy banter between us having been restored.
“Shut up. I’m serious.” I slap his arm just as the waitress brings our sandwiches. Her face drops and I realize she thinks we are together. “He’s my brother.” I say as I grab a fry off the plate.
“Oh, I…it’s not really my business,” she is so flustered it is cute. I think even Caleb’s cheeks are turning a little pink as she tries to serve us quickly and get out of our section.
“Madeline, leave the poor girl alone. Did you see how nervous you just made her?” He reaches for the ketchup and puts some on both of our plates. Always taking care of me.
“She is cute, Caleb. Just thought I would remove any chance of me blocking you from getting her number.” I wink and scoop a handful of fries into my mouth in the most unladylike way possible and then smile wide so he can see the fries hanging out of my mouth.
“Well, what a lady. Thank you for that.” We both laugh hard, trying to keep the fries in our mouths. We finish our lunches and hug one last time outside before getting into our cars and heading for home. I think about what he just told me and what that could mean for my relationship with Jackson. I wonder why he never told me who his family is, but then I realize that he had the courage to do what I never have been able to do. He chose his own destiny and followed his dreams even if they took him away from his home.
When I get back to the apartment Kyle is sitting on the couch waiting for Abby to get ready to go somewhere. I sit down next to him and put my feet up on the coffee table next to his. It is quiet for a minute as we watch highlights of the various games on ESPN. When a commercial begins to play, Kyle looks at me and then says, “I almost forgot, Jackson stopped by before practice and left something on the bed he thought was important. I am supposed to tell you he can’t come over tonight because he has to get some sleep since the team is flying out in the morning. He wanted to see you but when Abby told him you were with Caleb he didn’t want to interrupt your time.”
I’m on my feet in seconds, rushing down the hall to my bedroom. On my bed the jewelry box is sitting on top of a very old envelope. There is a note on top of the box in Jackson’s writing.
Dear Maddy,
It didn’t take much to make her dance. Turns out an envelope was tucked in some little compartment beneath her and it was blocking the little motor that makes her spin. With a little oil and some tender coaxing—she dances again! Her music is “Somewhere my Love.” I can remember my mother listening to that song over and over when I was little. Can’t wait to find out what was in that envelope.
Wish I could spend time with you before I leave but I have to be ready for the flight. I will think of you every minute I am gone and I will see you first thing Wednesday when I get back. Listen to her music, Rookie.
Till then, my sweet, think of me now and then
Godspeed, my love, till you are mine again!
—Paul Francis Webster, Someday my Love
I love you.
Love, Jackson
I open the box and listen as her music begins to play. She begins to spin and I am in a trance watching as she twirls around in front of me. I wait for the song to finish and then once it begins again I close the lid and pick up the envelope. I don’t know who gave it to my mother but I do know that she must have treasured it dearly.
The glue has long since detached from the closure and I just slip my finger into the edge and watch as it opens effortlessly. Inside the paper looks just as aged as the envelope and I carefully unfold the yellowed piece of lined paper. I don’t recognize the writing but look down to the bottom and see that it is signed, John and is addressed to my mother.
Dearest Isabel,
I miss you. I can’t begin to tell you how much I need you in my life. You are the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing I think about before bed. I love you; I will continue to love you forever.
I know you think I forgot about you and left you for some personal gain. Please believe me when I say that the decisions I have made have all been with your happiness in mind. I should have told you this a long time ago. I met with your father to ask for your hand in marriage. I thought maybe if we met face to face he would see that I loved you and would always take care of you. He told me I wasn’t worthy of you and if I truly loved you, I would let you go so that someone with more money and opportunity could take care of you. Your father told me that I was going to ruin your life if you stayed with me.
The worst mistake of my life was believing him. I may not have money but I love you more than life itself and never should have let you go. I want to marry you, Beautiful. Please forgive me and meet me at the little church on the edge of town where I used to take you. The pastor said he will marry us. Bring your sister as a witness and I will bring my brother David. I will be there Sunday night at 5pm and will wait for you. If you don’t come by 8pm, I will know you can’t forgive me.
I love you, Isabel, and I hope that Sunday is when you will be mine again.
Love,
John
I search the letter for a date and find that it was written about eight months before my parents were married. I want to know if David is my Uncle David—the man who was married to my Aunt Gwen. It starts to make sense why there would be bad blood between my aunt and father. I also feel a dread so heavy it forces the air out of my lungs. When given the opportunity, my mother did not choose John, she chose to marry my father. Now I am left with knowing that she would probably want me with a man like Greg after having her heart broken by a man like Jackson.
I need to find Jackson, to tell him I’m so sorry and to let him go so that he can move on. With tears streaming down my face I run to my car and head over to his apartment. I know he needs his rest but I need to tell him why I can’t be with him. I need him to understand that I won’t ever get to discuss many important things with my mother but it is important that I make decisions based on what I think she would want for me.
I pull into his driveway and race up the stairs. Knocking softly at first as to not disrupt his roommates, I wait on the doorstep for an answer. Suddenly, my heart breaks in two as Tina opens the door dressed in an oversized school t-shirt and panties. I swallow down the need to throw up and do my best to look her in the eyes.
“I need to talk to Jackson, please.” I wait for her answer as she peeks behind herself and then smiles back at me.
“I’m sorry, Honey, he is a little busy right now.” With that I turn on my heels and rush down the steps. When I am back in my car I drive home as fast as I can, trying to wipe the tears from my eyes so I can see where I am going. I tell myself this is for the best; I won’t break his heart because he never really loved me. I hate that my brother was right; I was just a notch in Jackson’s bedpost. Feeling used and stupid, I make my way into my room and crawl under the covers. I don’t plan on coming out for days.
************4 MORE CHAPTERS! PLEASE REMEMBER TO VOTE ON CHAPTER ONE. FIND ME ON TWITTER AND PINTEREST @SARAHWHITEWRITE. *********************