I headed back to the room and laid back down on the bed of nightmares. I tossed and turned but no matter what I did, I couldn't go back to sleep. I was too terrified of the dreams that haunts me. I'm afraid that if I close my eyes, Ryder was going to be gone. I reached over and grabbed his pillow and held it close to me. I just want to cry. These dreams, I hate them all. I hate him for causing me dismay. I hate him for making me feel insecure about everything.
The door opened and closed as I sat up to find Ryder. I let out a breath of relief but he stares at me worriedly. "Love? What's wrong?" He looks me over and yet again, I couldn't tell him a thing. I just shook my head, changing the topic. "What took you so long?"
He narrows his eyes, the way he only does when he wants to get information out of somebody. Or more like me. Ryder first takes off his watch, then takes out his wallet and puts both items on the desk while keeping his eyes glued to me. "Kamier sent me on a late errand," he says. I start to melt on the inside at his now intense stare. He moves towards me. "Care to explain why you're still up?" He asks as he sits down across from me.
"I couldn't sleep without you," I mumbled.
Ryder hummed with a smirk. "Cute. But I want the truth, love." He moves closer then traps me between his arms as they were on either side of me. My heart hammered and raced.
"I-uhm," I stammered. He draws closer making my breath hitch.
"You what?" He whispers.
I bit my lip out of the anxiety of my damn heart. Ryder's eyes moved to my heaving chest making a deep blush erupt on my cheeks. "Just c-couldn't sleep," I finally replied.
His eyes snapped back to mine making me back away only to have Ryder pull me back and push me down onto the bed. I squeaked a yelp and held him up with my hands on his chest. He grunted as he glared at my hands which then shook making him look at me with a dark look. "Are you sure?" He asks both dangerously and sexually.
I whimpered. "Not really," I quickly say and tried to move out of the trap when he grabs my wrists and pin them down. Ryder chuckles at my effort. "Baby love, I wouldn't have done that." He comes down and kisses my forehead, down to my nose, brushes over my lips, kisses my chin, and ended at my lips with a weak kneed kiss. I completely let my guard down and relax. He lets go of my wrists and keeps kissing me as one of his hand goes up under my shirt. He grunts and pulls back. Ryder lifts up my shirt a bit to reveal my tucked in tank top.
He glares at me as I bit my lip. "What did I say about wearing too many layers?"
"That it was alright if you weren't around," I replied quietly making his eyes darken because he knew it was the truth.
"Well said," he gritted as he pecks my lips and gets off the bed, pulling me up as well. He picks me up and heads towards the bathroom. "Take a shower with me."
I deeply blushed. "Take one yourself," I tried to argue.
He all but smirked and continued on. He set me on the bathroom counter and spreads my legs so he was in between them. My heart was hammering painfully hard and his closeness was clouding my mind. Ryder kept his heated eyes on me. "Try not to drool, baby love," he says then takes off his shirt as the muscles on his sides, abs, and chest hotly moved. I fought the urge to close my legs or else he would know a pool was starting but I'm pretty sure he knows what else is running in my head.
He throws his shirt away and caressed my neck, pulling both of us towards each other, and softly kisses me. Slowly and softly then deeply and passionately. My stomach went in loops and my mind was now just clouded with nothing but him. The way he touches me. The way he kisses me. The way he holds me close and stays close. Ryder pulls away and looks me over with that same heated look like he could just take me there and then.
That night, when we were about to have intercourse, we didn't do it. Someone came knocking at the door saying that it was urgent and couldn't wait. Ryder was furious of course. That night, he took a cold shower and left to handle whatever it was while I was falling down from my high. I, too, took a cold shower and went to sleep afterwards. And then every day since, something had always interrupted our intimacy.
Ryder slipped my shirt off and kissed down my chest. He came back up and enveloped me into a heated kiss. It was going somewhere, I felt it in the pit of my stomach. But no. It all ended with the sound of his phone going off. Ryder growled against my lips as I sighed and slumped my shoulders. He bit his lip and crashed it upon mine before leaving to answer his phone.
I frowned and slid off the counter. I picked up my shirt and threw it back on as I exited the bathroom. Once I had gotten out, Ryder was in new clothes and rushing around the room. I leaned against the open doorway with my arms crossed and just watched him. His brows were furrowed deeply and fire raging in his eyes. He shoved his phone in his pocket and grabbed his keys. Before leaving, Ryder turned around to stare at me. "Love-"
"I'll be fine," I said with a shrug. "This isn't the first time you had to leave me."
The words that came out of my mouth stung both of us because we both knew it was the truth. Ryder was too busy and I...I was just a burden demanding for attention. I turned around and headed back in the bathroom to hold myself back from crying in front of him. I went and sat on the edge of the jacuzzi and placed my hands on my knees and listened to silence. And for the longest time it stayed that way until the door opened and slammed shut.
I shakily breathed and hung my head. Then from the other room, the phone went off. I reluctantly went to our bedroom to answer it. My frown became even deeper. I accepted the call and took a calm breath before answering. "Samantha."
. . . . .
. .
. . . . .
I reached the rundown apartment. I closed the door and waited at the door as she drunkly looked over to me. Empty beer bottle and cans all over the floor. Dirty clothes laid everywhere and cockroach crawled disgustingly against the wall and couch. "Finally!" She growled. She staggered to a stand as my heart hammered in my chest. "You no good piece of shit! Did you get what I wanted?!" I reached into my bag and went over to her, putting the stuff on the table in front of her. She sinisterly laughed and pushed me away as she dug into the drugs like it was fulfilling like food.
I gripped the strap of my bag and looked to the ground like I was told to do when I was a child. Fear coursed through my body and terror raised the ends of my hair as Samantha walked out from the bedroom and entered the room with a smile. "Oh!" She quickly rushed over and dug in. Mom pushed her away and shot up from her spot. "Who told you you could touch my shit?!"
Samantha looked up at her afraid. "B-But mom! We always share!"
Mom raised her hand and landed a hard punch to Samantha's collarbone. Samantha let out a scream as mom continued to beat her senseless. I stayed where I was, terrified and knowing very well that anguish was going to come towards me. And it did. "Don't touch my shit ever again!" Mom kicked Samantha in the face then glared at me. Samantha sobbed loudly and held her face. Mom then sprung over and gripped my hair as I let out a yelp and apologized for something I didn't even do. She gave me a hard slap on the head and then grabbed an empty bottle and broke it, aiming the sharp side to me.
"Why are you even here you whore?!" She hissed out so disgustingly and menacingly like I was just that worthless to her.
"I-I was the one w-who brought you you're stuff! Samantha called me to bring it to you!" I replied as I blocked my head from another hit but instead, she dug the broken glass bottle in my arm. I let out a scream as Samantha crawled to the furthest wall and held herself. Mom kicked me to the ground, still holding the glass bottle in her hand. She laughed at me, thinking it was the funniest thing ever. That it was fun to see her own children hurt.
I held my bleeding arm and let the tears fall as she laughed even more. She dug into her stuff. Sniffing and smoking it all up. Once she had her fill, I knew it was only to get worse. I pushed myself up only to have her kick me back down and start beating me as Samantha giggled at the sight. "Please! Stop!" I pleaded.
Samantha crawled over to the table and finished off whatever was left as mom just kept laughing and sending her fists into me. I kept my head blocked until the beatings stopped. "Useless piece of shit of a daughter. Can't even do anything right!" She spat as she staggered away to her bedroom only to come out with a belt.
"M-mom!" I pleaded. I looked to Samantha who had a dazed look on her face. "Sam!" She didn't even bother. She didn't even care. I looked to mom just in time to see the belt up high. I blocked my face and rolled myself into a ball as the whooshing sounds of the belt came hard down on me. I bit my lip and held my sobs and painful cries. "This! Is what! You get! For being! The worst! Daughter!" She said with every whip. Each much harsher than the other. Each stinging worse than the next.
The whips stopped and by now I tears flooded from my eyes, my body became numb, and hiccups escaped my lips. I looked up to her as she breathes heavily, glaring down at me. "What did I ever do to you?" I asked sadly as she stared at me weirdly like she had never seen me before. "What did I do to deserve this?"
She threw the belt away making me flinch. Mom grabbed my hair as I held her wrist and cried out painfully. "You look exactly like that devil of a man I used to call husband. The way you stare at me makes me want to cut you up and feed you to the damn dogs!" She growls in my face then slams my head to the ground as I held it in pain. She staggers away from me and flings her arms in anguish. "The thought of still having a bastard's child around makes me want to kill you! He left me because of you! It was all because of you!"
She glared at me with menace. "You weren't suppose to be born," she hissed. "You were a mistake!"
I held back the sobs. I held back the pain. I held back the outbursts. And listened to her still go on about me being the mistake of a child to a bastard who left her for someone better. Samantha all but laughed, clapping along and hooting for her. And it was time like these, that I actually felt worthless. Like I really was a mistake. Who would want me? Who would want a cursed person like me who only brings bad luck to others? I couldn't love because they'll just be like her. To love then abuse later, day after day and night after night.
Nobody wanted me around. I was a burden. A mistake. I was worthless. Unlucky.
"Take out the trash, Sammy," she ordered and walked away.
Samantha crawled towards me and picked me up. She brought me down the stairs and then turned into the alley then just dropped me there. I silently cried out in pain as I held my body. "Bye bye trashy," she sings out and staggers back only to stop with a loud gasp. "Leo! I can explain!"
Suddenly her body goes flying towards the bags of garbage as she cries out in pain. I looked up to find Leo standing tall before me. He looks down at me with the most pained and angered expression I had ever seen him wore. Leo clenched his fists and stormed over to Samantha and repeatedly sent punches to her as she cries out for mercy. "I'm sorry! Please!" Samantha continues to apologize through her painful cries.
My vision begin to blur and my head throbbed painfully like someone was hitting a hammer against it. Leo backed off and grabbed her hair, throwing her to the cold ground. "Take her away!" He roared. Samantha thrashed against their hold and pleaded for Leo. He all but ignored her and kneeled down before me, picking me up like fragile glass. He holds me close as he walks us to his car and got in. "Get me to the clinic!"
My body was so numb, I could no longer feel anything. My eyes landed on his blood covered chest. "She called me worthless," I whispered with a sob. "She called me ugly and told me I was a mistake." Her words stabbed me like a knife and whipped me like her hits. It hurts to hear your own mother discard you like you were nothing. Telling you just how pathetically worthless you actually were. How she tells you that she wished you were dead. How she wished you weren't even born.
Leo lightly tightened his grip and leans in for my ears to hear only. "You are not worthless, you're priceless. Once the world sees the real you, they will all be falling to their knees begging you to be theirs. You're not ugly, you're gorgeous like the stargazers that still sits lively in your bedroom. You may be a mistake to that woman, but your Ryder's beautiful disaster and the enthralling result of his destruction." I let myself go as his words echo in my ears. "No more thinking, Princess. Rest your eyes."
And I did just that.
A/N: I don't know about you but I cried writing this chapter! *sniffle*