t was dark before I knew it. We all settled up in the woods. I volunteered to make a fire in the middle while the others picked their spots to sleep the night. Someone crouched down in front of me. I looked up to see Tara.
Tara was among a few others that Carol and I found with the group after Terminus. There was Abraham, Rosita, Eugene, and Tara. Abraham was a big, muscular redhead who couldn't go five seconds without cursing. Rosita was a tall, skinny woman who seemed pretty badass from what I could tell. Eugene was the last of the three musketeers. He was an awkward guy, with long, black slick hair and absolutely no fighting skills at all. Apparently there's a cure in Washington and he is the only one who can get access to it. Abraham and Rosita seemed to believe him, but I had a deep feeling of doubt.
Finally, there was Tara. She looked a few years older than me, about Glenn and Maggie's age. I learned that she was with the Governor when they attacked the prison. At first, I was ready to drop her when I heard but then Glenn told me she didn't fight. She didn't know who the Governor actually was until the attack and ended up not siding with him. She also saved Glenn's life, so I decided she was okay.
"Need help?" She asked when she saw I was fumbling with the long skinny stick in my hands. Although my shoulder felt a lot better, it was still healing slowly and rubbing a stick between my hands rapidly didn't help. I got a small wincing pain and I handed her the stick.
"Yes, please," I said in relief and she chuckled.
I watched as she made a fire in less than two full minutes. It soon grew into a large fire that heated my face warmly, making me want to stay there forever, being it was freezing cold.
"Wow," I said, impressed.
She smiled. "My, uh, girlfriend taught me. She got mad because I was already better at her on my first try." She laughed and I let out a chuckle.
"Is she..." I couldn't finish, but I knew she knew what I was asking. She nodded quickly, wiping a tear that had slipped down her cheek. I looked down. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I should be the one saying sorry." She told me, looking at me in the eye. "It's my fault you're here now. It's my fault you lost your home."
I shook my head and took her hand in mine. "It's not your fault, Tara. It's the Governor's. He did this. Look on the bright side, you saved Glenn and brought him back here with us, with his wife. It's not your fault, okay?"
She nodded and smiled at me. I returned it, giving her hand a small squeeze before letting go and walking over to Carl and Judith. I sat down on the ground beside him. He looked over and gave me a large smile.
"Hey," he said, turning back to Judith, feeding her.
"Hey," I said back and put my finger in Judith's small hand, to which she squeezed it tightly, making me smile. "How are you doing?"
"Better now that you're here."
I rolled my eyes. "That's cheesy."
He frowned. "Not even a little bit sweet?"
"Fine, it was a little sweet, but if you ever say something like that again I'll hit you." I told him. He laughed.
I missed his laugh. I missed his smile. I missed him. Great, now I'm the one that's cheesy.
"Hey guys." We looked up and saw Tyreese. I smiled at him. "I can take it from here."
Carl handed Judith to him, but not before giving her a kiss on the forehead first.
"Thanks, Tyreese." said Carl.
"It's not a problem." He said and walked over to Sasha and Bob.
I laid my head on Carl's shoulder and looked around me. I couldn't believe that I ever doubted finding them, my family. I hated myself every day for it.
"Oh yeah, I forgot." I said, picking my head up and digging my hand in my backpack. Carl gave me a confused look and then his eyes widened when I took out his shoe. I handed it to him.
He took off his mismatched shoe and put on the one that I gave him. "That feels better. It felt weird walking around with two different shoes on."
"I found it in that house. That's how I found you. I followed your tracks." I said.
He intertwined his fingers with mine, causing my heart to quicken. "How long was it?"
I sighed as I looked at my arm. "Nine days. Now that I think about it, it doesn't sound like a long time."
"But it was." Carl said, squeezing our connected hands. "It felt like forever being away from you. Sorry, that was cheesy wasn't it?"
I smiled as I laid my head back on his shoulder, closing my eyes. "It wasn't."
***
My eyes snapped open and I sat up with a start, my machete automatically in my hand when I felt something on my shoulder. My eyes were widened in alert, dashing back and forth to look for the thing that touched me, but then they landed on sparkly blue eyes.
I blinked when I realized that it was just Carl. I immediately relaxed and put my arm down.
"Sorry," I muttered, angry at myself that I almost hurt him.
"It's fine," he said, his hand still on my shoulder. "Hey, are you okay?"
I nodded, looking at him. "Yeah, just a nightmare. I'm okay."
He didn't look convinced but nodded. In the next few minutes, the whole group was awake and we started to move. I was in the front next to Carl and Rick when we suddenly heard something in the trees next to us.
Simultaneously, we raised our weapons only to see Daryl come out with a bunch of squirrels over his shoulder.
He put up his hands. "We surrender."
I saw a hint of a smile on Rick's face. Daryl went to walk next to him while Carl and I stayed behind them. I could vaguely hear what they were talking about.
"No tracks. No nothing." Daryl muttered to Rick.
"So whatever you heard last night-"
"It's more what I felt." Daryl corrected. "If someone was watching us, there would have been something."
And that was the end of it. Apparently Daryl and Carol heard something last night and thought someone was watching them, but didn't see anything. I was fast asleep by the time they did hear it.
Rick turned around and whistled. "Keep close," he told us.
"...and then I sat on the roof eating a 100 ounce pudding can with the largest spoon in the kitchen." Carl finished his story and I laughed out loud.
"I could've sworn I saw the empty can in front of the house." I said.
"It was the best thing I've tasted in a long time." Carl said.
"Yeah, and I bet you had a real stomach ache afterwards."
"Sure did," he laughed. "But it was worth it."
"Help!" came a voice in the distance. "Help anybody, help!"
My hand gripped the weapon in my hand, looking around my surroundings as the others did the same. It sounded like a man's voice. He sounded like he really did need help. It wasn't that far away from what I could hear.
"Dad, come on." Carl said to Rick, trying to persuade him to go and help whoever needed it, but I already started running.
"Brenda!" I heard Rick call me out but I didn't start. I knew they would eventually have to follow me anyway.
When I got to the source of the yell for help, I saw a man in black on top of a rock, walkers surrounding him. I immediately went after the walkers, slicing their heads in half with my machete. A walker grabbed a hold of my arm, but somebody plunged a knife through its head before it could attack me.
I nodded at Carol, thanking her. The others caught up finally, and in a matter of seconds all the walkers were down. Carl rushed up to me.
"You alright?" he asked me, his eyes searching for injuries or bites.
I nodded. Rick sent me a look, but I ignored it. He turned to the others. "We're clear. Keep watch."
I looked at the man on the rock to see he was panting, probably scared out of his mind.
"Come down." I told him, making sure I didn't say it in a way that he'd be afraid of us.
He hesitantly climbed down the rock and scanned all our faces.
"You okay?" I asked him once he set foot on the ground.
The man held up a finger and then turned around and puked. I looked away. I felt bad for the guy. I bet he didn't know how to fight against walkers and this was the first he was close to being their lunch. The man straightened up.
"Sorry," he said. "Yes. Thank you."
He looked at me in particular and nodded. I nodded back. He turned to Rick. "I'm Gabriel."
"Do you have any weapons on you?" Rick said, barely letting him finish introducing himself.
Gabriel chuckled. "Do I look like I would have any weapons?"
"We don't give two short and curlies what it looks like." said Abraham, making me raise an eyebrow.
"I have no weapons of any kind." Gabriel said. "The word of God is the only protection I need."
I should've figured. This guy is - was - a priest. No wonder he was wearing all black and couldn't fight. He was a believer.
"Sure didn't look like it." Daryl said.
"I called for help. Help came." Gabriel smiled, but when he saw nobody else was smiling he got rid of it. "Do you have...any food? Whatever I-I had left, it just hit the ground."
I cringed when I accidentally looked at the ground. Carl put his hand out. "We've got some pecans."
He took it. "Thank you."
A pang hit me in the chest when I thought about how much Lizzie and Mika loved pecans. I mentally shook my head. Tyreese, Carol, and I agreed we wouldn't bring up the subject. I couldn't let it get to me.
Judith made a murmuring sound in Tyreese's arms, causing Gabriel to look over to her. He smiled. "That's a beautiful child."
Rick didn't say anything. Gabriel looked down. "Do you have a camp?"
"No. Do you?" Rick said almost instantly.
Gabriel hesitated, looking at all of us before back at Rick. "I have a church."
"Hold your hands above your head." Rick demanded.
Gabriel did so and Rick started checking him. "How many walkers have you killed?"
"Not any, actually." he chuckled and Rick turned him around.
"How many people have you killed?"
"None."
"Why?" Rick asked his final question, done checking him.
"Because the Lord abhors violence." was his reply.
Rick gave him a good stare, as if he was going to find a deep secret from the guy. "What have you done?" He was obviously not buying Gabriel's act. Gabriel gave him a confused look. "We've all done something." Rick said.
"I'm a sinner." Gabriel answered. "I sin almost every day. But those sins, I confess them to God, not strangers."
"You said you had a church?" Michonne spoke up.
Gabriel nodded.
***
While Gabriel was leading us to the church, I noticed that nobody said anything for a bit. Everyone was giving him a stare down, and checking around us in case he was somehow a murderer or something. Everyone except for Carl and I. I had my own reasons as to why I believed this guy wasn't a joke, but I had no idea why Carl thought the same.
Rick broke the silence. "Hey, earlier, were you watching us?"
"I keep to myself." Gabriel answered while looking back and forth as we walked. "Nowadays, people are just as dangerous as the dead, don't you think?"
"No, people are worse." said Daryl.
You can say that again, I thought to myself.
"Well, I wasn't watching you. I haven't been beyond the stream near my church more than a few times since it all started." he explained. "That was the furthest I've gone before today."
Gabriel gave us all a look before saying, "Or maybe I'm lying. Maybe I'm lying about everything and there's no church ahead at all. Maybe I'm leading you into a trap so I can steal all your squirrels."
I laughed aloud. Carl gave me a look and I realized nobody else was laughing. I shrugged, looking at everyone who was glancing at me and Gabriel weirdly. "It was funny."
Carl then shook his head and laughed.
I narrowed my eyes. "What?"
He looked at me. "Only you would find that funny."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You're, well, not funny, is all." He shrugged and I shoved him with my shoulder, making him laugh louder again.
"I am too funny." I said. "I've got plenty of jokes that are hilarious."
"Oh, yeah?" Carl said, still grinning. I nodded, looking proud. "Tell me one."
"Fine." I said and cleared my throat. "Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?"
"Why?"
"'Cause he had no-body to go with." I chuckled at my own joke, and Carl laughed. "See? That was funny."
"Sure it was." He joked and playfully rolled his eyes.
"Shut up, sheriff boy." I laughed, shoving him again.
We finally made it to the church. I looked at the group's faces to see they were just a little surprised the guy wasn't lying. The church was made out of wood painted white. It was a little worn out. It was small, but not too small. The sign said St. Sarah's Church. It almost reminded me of my church back home.
Gabriel walked up to the doors, but Rick stopped him. "Hold up." he said.
Gabriel turned. "Can we take a look around first?" Rick asked, but I knew it wasn't really a question; he'd do it anyway. He walked up the stairs. "We just want to hold on to our squirrels."
Carl and I stayed behind with Judith while half of the group went inside to check for anything suspicious, or walkers. I walked up to Gabriel.
"How long have you been a priest?" I asked him.
"About four years before it started." He smiled. "Are you a Catholic?"
"Was," I answered, and looked inside the church. "Not so sure anymore."
The others came outside, confirming it's okay to go inside. I stepped in and looked around. Memories of going to mass every Sunday with my mother flooded in my mind. I remembered when I was little and my mother made me go, and when I grew up I stopped complaining. Other than at night before I went to bed, it was the one time I truly believed there was someone who listened to me, who heard what I had to say. I guess that's what I missed most about church.
I looked at the pictures on the walls, the quotes of scriptures in frames, and drawings of the burning bush and 40 days of wandering by children. Carl walked up to me while I was looking at some.
"Never knew you were a Catholic." he said.
I nodded. "Were you?"
"No," he answered. "My dad said it was a waste of time, believing. I guess I wasn't old enough to really understand, you know?"
"Yeah," I said. Memories of my mother made me tear up but I blinked them away before they could spill.
"How'd you survive here for so long?" I heard Rick ask and I turned around, thankful for a distraction.
"Where did your supplies come from?" He was talking to Gabriel, and that's when I noticed the many cans of food near the alter.
"Luck." Gabriel answered. "Our annual canned food drive. Things fell apart right after we finished it. It was just me."
Carl took Judith from Rick as Gabriel went on. "The food lasted a long time. And then I started scavenging. I've cleaned out every place nearby. Except for one."
"What kept you from it?" Rick asked. I sat down next to Carl, playing with Judith but I still heard the conversation.
"It's overrun." Gabriel answered.
"How many?"
"A dozen or so. Maybe more." Rick nodded, looking over at the others.
"We can handle a dozen." he said.
Sasha walked up to him. "Bob and I will go with you. Tyreese should stay here, help keep Judith safe."
I saw Tyreese smile; I knew how much he's grown to love Judith.
"That'll be okay?" Rick asked him.
Tyreese nodded and smiled again, looking at the baby in Carl's arms. "Sure. You ever need me to watch her, need anything for her, I'm right here."
"I'm grateful for it." Rick told him, walking closer. "And everything else."
"I'll draw you a map." Gabriel offered.
"You don't need to." Rick said. "You're coming with us."
Gabriel looked surprised. "I'm not gonna be of any help. You saw me. I'm no good around those things."
Rick didn't seem to change his answer. "You're coming with us."
While everyone was getting ready for the run, I walked up to Rick. "Hey," I said.
He nodded. "Hey,"
"I wanna come with." I said, getting straight to the point. "My shoulder's getting better and I think I could help."
Rick sighed. "Brenda, I can't let you come."
"Why?" I asked, this question directed not only now but in other situations before when he didn't let me help. "Why won't you ever let me come with you? Did I do something wrong?"
"You didn't do anything wrong, Brenda. It's not you," he said, looking at me. "I just don't want you to get hurt."
I scoffed. "I can take care of myself, Rick. You know I can."
"I know, I know. I just-" he cut off, his eyes slipping towards Carl, who was talking to Michonne. "If you ever got hurt...I don't ever want to see what he would do if you did. He cares about you, I do. Everyone here does. I can't let you go. Especially now. You and Carol just got back to us, I can't split you and him again. I'll never forgive myself if you got hurt. I'm sorry."
I sighed. "Okay, I'll stay here."
He nodded and gave me a hug, surprising me, but I returned it. Then he went over to Carl to speak to him. I stayed in the back of the church, watching the two until Michonne came over and leaned against the wall next to me.
"He say 'no'?" She asked and I nodded.
"He did. But I understand why now. Why he never let me come with him." I explained, keeping my eye on Carl. It was true what Rick said, for both Carl and myself. If Carl ever got hurt, I don't know what I would do. "I won't ever complain again."
***
Almost everyone from the group was out on a run. The only ones left were me, Carl, Judith, Tyreese, Eugene and Abraham. We kept the doors closed, unless the others were back or Abraham said it could be open.
Tyreese was currently feeding Judith while Carl and I was in the room where I guessed the brothers of the church slept. We were sitting on the bed; I was reading The Hunger Games book that Michonne gave me and Carl was reading a comic. Suddenly he put his comic down in his lap face up, but he didn't say anything.
I glanced up at him. "What is it?"
He stared at his feet. "Before he left, my dad said that Gabriel is hiding something."
I put my book down in my lap. "Do you think that?"
He stayed quiet for a few seconds. "I don't know. He doesn't seem like the type of guy to hide something, but I guess everyone has something, right?" He finally looked up at me, and I hesitated before nodding slightly. He was, unfortunately, right. Everyone has something to hide, whether they like it or not.
I looked back at him and I saw that there was something else that was bothering him. I tilted my head at him. "That's not all he said to you, was it?"
He shook his head. I waited to see if he was going to tell me any more than that. He was quiet, and for a second I thought he wasn't going to tell me, but then he spoke. "He told me that I'm not safe, none of us are. That it only takes one second...and it's over."
"He's right," I muttered, automatically thinking back to my mother. One second the walker wasn't there, and then it was. I blinked at looked back at Carl. "You know he's right,"
He nodded. "Yeah, I know."
"Then what's bothering you?" I questioned.
"What if...what if we found a place," he started, "a permanent place. A place that is safe. Do you think we would have to be scared if we did find that place? Do you think we would still have to fight, and sleep with one eye open?"
I looked at ground, thinking it over. "I think we should be ready for anything that happens. We don't really know if a place is safe or not. We won't know that until the dead stays dead, and I have a feeling that's not going to happen for a long, long time. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't have hope. It doesn't mean we should be afraid all the time, because we're survivors. And we can take on whatever comes our way."
Carl's next words were barely audible, but I understood them. "Do you have hope?"
That question caught me off guard. There were so many times the past year that I have told myself there is no hope, and it's just a waste of time. And yet here I am, telling my best friend you should have it. But I couldn't lie to him. "Not right now," I replied, "but that doesn't mean I won't have it in the future."
We sat in silence for the next few minutes, leaving our books unread, just sitting next to each other, our arms touching. And then Carl stood up abruptly, making me flinch a little.
He held out his hand to me. "Come on," he said.
I rose an eyebrow. "What?"
"Let's go walk around outside the church." he told me. "Maybe find something my dad is looking for."
My eyes narrowed. "I doubt it."
He shrugged. "We won't know that 'till we look. Now come on, my hand's getting tired."
I sighed, but smiled and took his hand. "Fine."
We left the room and went over to Abraham. "We're gonna go outside for a few minutes." Carl told him, and when Abraham opened his mouth to argue, Carl continued. "We're not going far. We're just going to walk around the church. You can watch us if you want."
He stared at us in the face for what seemed like hours but then jerked his head towards the door. Carl and I left the church, leaving the doors open so Abraham could watch us from inside.
It was still light outside, only about an hour and a half since Rick and the others left on a run. Carl still had his hand in mine. We didn't go past the RV and fences. We literally just walked around the church, looking for something that wasn't going to be found.
After seven minutes in the hot sun, I sighed. "Carl, it's scorching out here. We're not gonna find an-"
"Look, I found something!" Carl dropped my hand.
I rolled my eyes. "Of course," I muttered and walked to him.
He was looking at something carved into the wood in the back of the church. He pointed at what look like scratches at the window. I squinted, examining them.
"They're deep," I observed. "They were using knives or something sharp."
"Someone was trying to get in," Carl guessed. "But why?"
I walked around the same wall, looking for something else like the scratches. Then my eyes spotted something. I called Carl over and I read the message aloud. "You'll burn for this."
Carl and I glanced at each other. Then I looked back at the sentence. "Maybe your dad was right."
***
Once everyone came back, Carl and I showed Rick what we found engraved on the wood in the back of the church. He guessed everything Carl and I had when we first saw it, but he didn't know any further than that. For the rest of the day, we helped set up the food that Rick and the others had found on the run. There was a lot; my mouth watered just at the sight of it.
When the sun disappeared and night took over, everyone had a celebration. A lot of food and drinks were being shared and everyone just had a good time, laughing and chatting.
"I'd like to propose a toast," Abraham announced. Everyone stopped talking and waited for Abraham to speak. "I look around this room...and I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title."
Carl and I gazed at each other, and he gave me a smile, which I returned slightly.
Abraham rose his drink. "To the survivors."
There was a chorus of 'survivor's and 'cheers' and people drank their wine. I personally hated wine so I just had good old water.
"Is that all you want to be?" asked Abraham, to noone in particular. "Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat? 'Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip." Abraham looked at all of us, then stopped at Eugene. "Eugene, what's in DC?"
Eugene cleared his throat. "Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart."
I looked down. I still wasn't sure about this. I didn't have any idea if this was real or not. But...Eugene seems like a nice guy, not capable of lying to a bunch of people who lost hope a long time ago. Maybe he was telling the truth, maybe there was a cure.
"However this plays out," Abraham continued, "however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you've been since this whole thing started."
My ears perked up at that, my heart skipped a beat. Carl and I were just talking about this. I thought back to what Carl told me. Is it possible for a place to really be safe?
Abraham looked at Rick. "Come with us. Save the world for that little one. Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there...who don't got nothing left to do except survive."
Everyone had their eyes on Rick now, who chuckled. Judith made a sound. "What was that?" Rick asked her. I let out a laugh. "I think she knows what I'm about to say. She's in. If she's in, I'm in. We're in."
Then everyone either laughed, clapped, or sighed in relief. I couldn't help but let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. We're gonna find a cure, we're gonna find a cure and then I'll be safe, we'll all be safe.
Someone sat next to me. I turned my head to see it was Gabriel. He smiled and I nodded, looking back at the cross in the back of the church.
"Thanks," I said. "For having us, giving us shelter. At least for a little while."
I saw him nod in the corner of my eye. "It's been a while since I had company."
"How long?" I questioned, but he didn't answer my question for a long time. Instead, he changed the subject.
"I want to thank you," He told me, and I chose to follow along. This was just telling me that he did have something to hide, but I didn't decide to push it. If his secret didn't have anything to do somehow affecting me or this group, then I won't push. That was Rick's job.
"For what?" I asked.
"For saving me earlier, when I was surrounded."
I shook my head. "It wasn't just me,"
"I met Rick. I can tell he doesn't like me, trust me. I bet if you hadn't run off to help me, he wouldn't have come. He followed you, and if it weren't for you then I would've been the dead's lunch." Gabriel explained.
I still didn't believe it was me that saved him, but I nodded anyway.
"That's...Carl, right?" Gabriel asked, pointing at the boy in the front pew with Judith on his lap. He put his sheriff hat on her head, making it slide over her head, too big to fit. I laughed quietly.
"Yeah, that's Carl." I replied.
"Are you two...in a relationship?" He asked, making me raise an eyebrow at the sudden and personal question.
"No-" I said, confusing myself, "I don't know."
I hadn't really thought about it lately. Of course I loved him, as a best friend and something more. Of course I remember the kiss we had, but I guess I was just happy to be back with him that I didn't give it much thought. He was my best friend - my best friend who kissed me...
As I continued looking at Carl and Judith, I thought to myself, what were we?
~~~~
This is one of my longest chapters so I hoped you enjoyed it.
I personally love Gabriel; I hated him at first but he's grown on me. And fun fact: I met him at a horror convention a few months ago, he's soooooo nice and cool! I took a picture with him and got a signed autograph.
But anywho, I already love the relationship between Gabriel and Brenda. I'm not sure what kind of relationship it'll grow up to be in the future, but hopefully that'll show later. Because Brenda was a Catholic before, she trusts Gabriel as a priest and a person even though he has a secret. I apologize if any of my readers are nonreligious, I'm not trying to offend anyone or anything so if I did I truly am sorry.
(I really can't wait to get to the end of season 5 to season 6; there's going to be a very big plot twist I'm just dying for you guys to read!)
Don't forget to vote, comment, and share! See you next chapter!
~Marvel890