ERRORS AHEAD
I missed her and I'm sure you did too. ;)
It's been a long time, sasaengs.
---
I'm okay. I just woke up from a nap.
I sent the text to Baekhyun. He's been flooding my phone with texts since an hour ago and I didn't know because I was asleep in the plane plus my phone is on airplane mode. I'm currently in Gimpo airport, finally decided that I should just stay in Seoul so that he wouldn't have to fly everytime just to check on me.
I secretly took the plane without him knowing because I know that he would just disagree and force me to just stay in Busan. That would be so unfair of me, I can see how tired he is. I don't want to be a stressor for him, and I also want to see how all of them are doing.
My baby bump is really huge right now, I'm already on my 8th month. One of the reasons why Byun would really be angry once he discovers that I am here, it's one of the most dangerous months for a pregnant woman but I don't care. He shouldn't forget that I am Nam fucking Sora and I don't listen to anyone.
I mumbled my thanks and slowly pushed my luggage cart after an airport staff helped me with my luggages. They're too heavy, I don't want to risk the chance of Sangjunie getting hurt.
I smiled widely when I saw a very familiar face, someone I haven't seen for months already, the manager of AlLiBe. He ran up to me and took the cart, "It's been a long time, Sora."
I slightly hit his arm, "Ya! You visited me last month, didn't you?" This guy, I think, is the only guy I seriously call Oppa.
He chuckled loudly, his eyes gleamed at the sight of my tummy, "Woah! Your stomach got bigger again, how far along are you again?"
The corners of my mouth quirked up at the reminder that I'll be seeing Sanjunnie soon, "Seven months, three weeks and four days!"
His eyes widened, "You're due next month?"
I smiled and nodded my head. He kept on talking about how excited he is for me until we reached the car, I told him to drive me to my house. I have to get there early and clean everything up since we'll be staying there for good. I also have to remind myself that I need to go shopping as soon as possible for Sangjun's stuff.
Unfortunately, Byun cannot go with me because that's one of the cons of being a Kpop idol. Maybe I'll just bring someone else with me. Ugh! If only Eunha was still here then I wouldn't have to think of someone to invite.
I mumbled my thanks before Manager Oppa left. I pulled my luggage with me and headed inside the house. My eyes roamed all over the place and I couldn't help but wonder why it was clean. I never remembered calling someone to clean it while I was in Busan and Kim Taehyung probably didn't have enough time to even think of my house when he's busy as fuck too.
Oh, maybe Byun did the magic.
I suddenly wondered if he paid someone else or he cleaned it himself. Maybe it was the former, Byun, like Taehyung, is too busy to have time to clean this house.
I went inside our bedroom and opened my luggage, putting my clothes back to the walk in closet and my other stuff to where it should be. The walls are still beige, I don't think it will ever come back to black though. A baby will live in this house soon, it should be colorful and black is simply a nah.
It took me half an hour after I finished organizing my things back. I laid my back on the bed to rest, my stomach feels so heavy I'm afraid it'll weigh me down. Sangjunnie must be fat, I think my stomach weighs more than me but who can blame him? All I did was eat delicious food while I was in Busan and strawberries never failed to make my day. Oh, damn! I never thought I would ever say that in my whole dang life!
I quickly sat up when I felt him kick from inside, I gently ran my hand on my stomach. "Sanjunnie, are you hungry, hmm?" It made me chuckle when he kicked again. Ah, he really takes after his father who loves to eat. I got to my feet carefully with my hand on my hip and the other on my bed. It really feels heavy but who cares? It's Byun Sangjun I'm talking about, everything will be worth it when it comes to him.
Heading to the kitchen, I had a glance of my collection, Baekhyun's cups and chopsticks. My eyebrows rose when I saw some chopsticks that are unfamiliar, I stepped closer to it and looked for the dates.
October 5, 2018.
October 13, 2018. Oh, this is Jimin's birthday.
October 23, 2018.
I smiled while I picked up the chopsticks. The handwriting is Byun's, he even copied the way I write the infos. Damn, how can he be so sweet? I'm not freaking sure if I like the way he acts like sasaeng because that is so weird. He hates us! Yet here he is, being a sasaeng of himself in behalf of me. Cringy.
I was waiting for the rice when my phone rang, I picked it up when I saw Byun's name flashing, "Wae?"
[Nothing, I'm just checking on you.] He cleared his throat, [Does anything hurt?]
I pursed my lips and stared at the rice cooker, starving, "Nah, but Sangjunnie kicked earlier."
[Ah, jinjja?] I can imagine his small eyes growing wider, I grinned. Sangjunnie barely kicks when he's around so he doesn't get to feel it frequently. He only felt it four times, if I'm not mistaken.
I chuckled, "Yup, we're hungry so I'm cooking rice right now."
[Arasseo. Do you want anything? Do you still have enough strawberries?]
Oh, about that. I walked to the fridge and opened it to check there's strawberries here but I found none since it's been months since I last came here. There's not enough food too. "There's none here, and also can you buy groceries for me?"
[Huh? Didn't I just brought you enough groceries the other day? It's just Wednesday, Sora.]
I slightly bit my lip, contemplating if I should tell him or nah but who cares? "I'm in Seou---"
[WHAT?!] That's what I am talking about. [Why did you go back?! And you travelled alone? The hell, Nam Sora! Are you in your right mind?!]
I shut my eyes hard. Calm down, Nam Sora. You're at fault here. "I'm alright, nothing bad happened anywa--"
[And what if something did? You are fully aware that it is dangerous, right? How can you be so reckless and risk--]
I ended the call.
Fuck it. I grew up without a mother and no one gets to scream at me like that. He shouldn't. Even if he is Byun Baekhyun, he shouldn't.
My phone started ringing again so I decided to turn it off. He should fuck off right now because I am not in the fucking mood for his naggings. Damn it.
I massaged my temple and sat again but the rice cooker clicked, a sign that the rice is finally cooked. My mouth almost watered at the thought of eating. Ya, Sangjunie, your mom is getting so fat because of you.
I DON'T know what time it is when I heard the front door clicked open. I took my phone from the bedside table to check the time, it was almost midnight and it must be Byun. I slowly rose up and fixed my hair before heading outside my bedroom.
I found him in the kitchen, taking out the food he bought from the paper bags. Ah, so he still did the groceries? I smiled a bit but it quickly faded when Byun Baekhyun glanced at me and didn't even bother saying something. So he's still mad?
I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears. Damn, Sora. Why are you so fucking emotional? This whole emotional sensitivity while being pregnant is fucked up. "How's your day?" I tried to open up a topic. Aren't you going to at least hug me?
He didn't speak and just continued arranging the food in the fridge and the cupboards.
"You can rest already, I know you're tired." I took the lettuce from him, "I can do it myself."
He took it again, "Go back to sleep, Nam Sora."
I shook my head, "No, you go to sleep. I can do it alread---"
"Why can't you just listen?!"
I stood frozen on my spot. My eyes are wide and they're staring at him, lips parted.
"I already told you not to leave Busan while you're pregnant! And for pete's sake, you know how dangerous it is! Why can't just listen?!" The veins on his neck are visible and his face is flushed.
Mad as fuck, isn't he? I didn't know what to do, I just stood there and listened. Darn, I hope I could forget this. At least this. I'm afraid this will be another nightmare. Byun Baekhyun continued shouting and I couldn't understand what he's saying.
I felt Sangjun kick. Gwaenchana, Sangjunie. Mommy is alright, you won't remember this. You shouldn't. Appa just cares for you.
"Stop crying, you look like a mess!" He was about to touch my face when I stepped back.
I didn't even notice that I am crying. What the fuck, Sora. You shouldn't be crying! "So what? What the fuck is wrong if I look like a fucking mess?!" I screamed. I am fat. My legs are swollen. Who fucking cares? Him? Is this a big deal? "I am pregnant for fuck's sake!"
His face remained stoic.
"Does anyone in your family even know that you're about to have a son?! No, right?" He was never proud of me. How will he answer if he was asked of how we met? What will his family say once they discover that his son's mother is a freaking sasaeng. I removed the ring on my finger, he gave it to me last month. I threw it at him, "Let's stop this now, Byun Baekhyun. I grew up without my father on my side, I'm sure my son can too."
I went back to my room and locked the door. I was sobbing hard while pushing my vanity table behind it. Byun knows how to unlock the door.
I lied on the bed, caressing my tummy. Tears are still running on my face.
"You can live without a father, right? If you can't be a little Byun then at least you can be a little Nam." I sniffed, "Nam Sangjun still sounds good, baby."
"Soon you'll meet Minhyun hyung, he also grew up without a father before so you can do it too. Your father is a jerk just like mine, we don't need them, arasseo?"
Sangjun is gonna be fine without his father. I will make sure of that.
Byun Baekhyun just gave me a ring but he never asked marriage from me or anything and that's better. We didn't have to deal with legal documents. Maybe he has his eyes to a different girl.
I knew it right from the start, Byun Baekhyun and Nam Sora won't last long.
He didn't love me enough and I totally understand.