Warning: lame chapter ahead 😭
—
It was almost the end of March when the issue about Savanna subsided. Nagsawa na din sila dahil palaging pinapakita ni Sav sa kanila na hindi siya apektado. She's acting too cool about it, mas mukhang apektado pa talaga ako sa kanya. She's even waving at the girls whenever she senses they're talking about her. Tapos ay kakapit siya sa braso ko at ngingitian sila para inggitin.
I find it amusing, actually. The way she's acting tough in front of them. But she told me once that she was just being confident because I was with her. I gave her the strength that she needs. Of course, kinilig ako nang sabihin niya 'yon. Can't blame me, man. Savanna has that effect on me.
Lovely and her friends were the only ones who won't give up on bringing Sav down. Minsa'y gusto ko nalang isilid sa isang box ang mga 'yon tapos ay itapon sa ibang lugar para mawala na sila sa buhay namin. Pero syempre, hindi ko pwedeng gawin 'yon. They're just girls who are all insecure because Savanna's beautiful and well, Sav have me.
Isa pa'y malapit na ang end of school year kaya medyo busy na talaga ang mga estudyante, lalo na kaming graduating. Nico and Will were busy with the training for their final basketball game next week. Ako nama'y busy din na tinitrain para sa Likhang Kamay contest. Then we're having loads of projects na malapit-lapit na din ang deadline. Sa aming lahat, si Sav lang ang medyo hayahay ang schedule.
Like right now, everyone's busy doing their works tapos siya, chill lang na nakaupo sa tabi ko. Inilapag ko ang libro ko sa mesa at tinitigan muna siya. Weeks have passed but she still hasn't told me kung ano iyong gusto niyang ipabasa sa akin. Kapag tinatanong ko kasi siya, magagalit siya agad sa akin. I even made an effort to check all my accounts in hopes that she sent me a message or something, pero wala naman. Naghanap na din ako ng nakaipit na liham sa bag ko at mga libro, pero wala talaga. I wonder what was that about.
"Ang cute mo." I told her absent-mindedly.
Nico snorted and pointed at Sav, "Dude, she's literally just sitting there."
"I know." Pinilig ko ang ulo ko at patuloy na tinitigan si Sav. I frowned when I noticed she was looking at Dwight and his friends. Sav wouldn't tell me the exact details about Dwight's confession. Hindi na rin naman na ako nag-usisa, sapat na sa akin na malaman na hindi niya pinayagang manligaw si Dwight.
And I admit, I'm hoping she rejected him because she likes me too. Hindi naman masamang umasa. Handa naman ako kung sakaling kaibigan lang ang turing niya sa akin.
I touched her chin and made her look at me. Masyado na siyang matagal nakatingin kay Dwight, "Angel..."
Tumaas ang kilay niya sa ginawa ko yet her cheeks flushed. She's always like that. Halata namang naaapektuhan siya ng charms ko pero nagsusungit pa din. Girls.
Cryd: You're looking at him for toooooo looooooong.
She scrunched her nose and did not reply. Instead, she stared at me. Her stare was so intense that it made my cheeks burn. Ako tuloy ang nag-iwas ng tingin. Damn.
"Tinitigan ka lang, nag-blush ka na. The fuck, dude." Humalakhak si Nico. Reina slapped his arm, "Mind your own business, Nico."
"Selosa. Gusto mo talaga na sa'yo lang atensyon ko 'no?" Nico teased. Umirap si Reina at hindi na lamang pinansin ang kanyang boyfriend.
"Sa De Vasco ka talaga mag-aaral, Cryd?" Velvet asked me.
I sighed deeply. De Vasco University is my dream school. I was so sure I'd study there for college. But now, I'm having second thoughts. Manila is three hours away from home. Hindi ako pwedeng bumyahe ng six hours araw-araw. Kung doon ako mag-aaral, kailangan sa condo na binili ni papa ako titira. That means, I have to leave this place...I can't. Leaving this place means leaving Savanna.
"I'm not sure." Sumulyap ako kay Sav na hanggang ngayon ay nakatitig pala sa akin. I pouted and mouthed, "Stop...staring."
"You're reconsidering?" Tanong ni Will sa akin. Bumaling ako sa kanya, "I'm still thinking about it. Ayoko din kasing mahiwalay muna kina Mommy. Tsaka baka malungkot si Sav. I need to ask her about it too. I want to know her opinion."
"Buti pa si Cryd! Pinag-iisipan pa kung tutuloy siya! Iniisip iyong mga taong maiiwan. Samantalang iyong isa diyan..." Nico was, of course, pertaining to his girlfriend. Reina and her family will be migrating in Japan after the school year. Nico was so upset about it. Kahit naman maloko 'yan ay seryoso talaga siya kay Reina. Syempre, ayaw niyang umalis ito.
"Nico..." Reina sighed tiredly, "We already talked about this. My grandma needs us there."
"I need you too." Nico murmured.
"Wala na akong magagawa." Reina spat.
"I can always talk to your parents, Rei. You won't let me. Ni hindi mo manlang ako tinanong kung gusto ko bang umalis ka."
"They're fighting." Bulong sa akin ni Sav. Tumango ako at pinagmasdan magbangayan ang dalawa. Napapadalas ang pag-aaway nila ngayong linggo. Last week lang kasi sinabi ni Reina kay Nico ang plano ng pamilya niya.
"Ang problema sa'yo, nagdedesisyon ka mag-isa at ngayon mo lang sinabi sa akin kung kailan malapit na mag-graduation!"
"Ang problema kasi sa'yo, hindi mo iniintindi ang sitwasyon! I want to stay with you but my Lola needs me there!" Padabog na tumayo si Reina. Nangingilid ang luha sa kanyang mata. I wanted to console her but I understand how Nico feels.
Pero mabuti na rin 'yong sinabi sa kanya ni Rei, kaysa naman umalis ito patungong ibang bansa ng hindi nagpapaalam.
Nagpatuloy ang pag-aaway nila hanggang sa mag-walk-out si Reina. Sav was about to go after her but I stopped her. Will did the same with Velvet.
"Kabanas talaga." Nico said in clenched jaw.
"'Di mo manlang hahabulin?" Pagalit na tanong ni Velvet sa kanya.
"Bakit ko siya hahabulin? Grades ba siya?" Inis niyang sambit saka uminom ng soft drinks.
Hindi din nag-tagal ay tumayo siya. Hindi nakatiis, "Fuck love," aniya saka umalis dala-dala ang gamit nila pareho ni Rei.
"Nakakainis 'yang si Nico ah!" Velvet complained, "Ang arte, arte. 'Di rin naman ginusto ni Reina 'yon!"
"Buti nalang tayo, same school, same course." Will grinned. Ngumuso si Velvet at bumaling
sa akin, "Kailan alis ni Sav?"
Nagkibit ako ng balikat. Since Sav agreed with the cochlear implant, she needs to go out of the country for the operation. Her parents told me they'll be gone fo a month or two para doon. They were just waiting for Sav's decision kung kailan. She hasn't told me anything about it yet, so wala pang exact date.
I think it's better kung bakasyon para makasama ako sa kanya. I want to be by her side when time comes. Alam kong delikado iyon kaya gusto ko nasa tabi niya ako para maalalayan siya't maalagaan.
"Good luck." Savanna murmured when we reached the room where the art competition will be held. Nasa loob na iyong ibang contestant. It's April 9. Nagkasabay ang basketball finals nina Nico pati ang laban ko sa Likhang Kamay kaya baka hindi ko maabutan ang game nila. Sav wanted to watch but of course, she preferred going with me.
Cryd: Are you sure you're not going to watch their game? Ihahatid na muna kita don.
She shook her head, "I'm fine here."
Cryd: Baka mabored ka kakahintay na matapos ang contest. Apat na oras pa naman ang tinatagal noon, kasama ang awarding.
Sav: You already told me that, Cryd. Sanay naman akong naghihintay :)
"You sure?" I examined her expression. She plastered a sweet smile then nodded. I don't want to make her wait but I don't have choice. Nakapagdesisyon na siyang maghihintay siya eh.
Cryd: Saan ka mag-hihintay?
Luminga ako sa paligid. Medyo crowded ngayon dahil walang klase, libreng gumala kung saang parte ng school ang mga estudyante. Mayroon pang galing sa ibang school, syempre.
"There." She pointed at a free seat. Tumango ako at hinawakan ang baywang niya para maihatid siya patungo doon. She settled on her seat. Sa tabi niya ay isang matandang babae at isang teenager na lalaki sa kabila.
Kusa kong nilagay ang earpods niya sa kanyang tainga. It's better if they'll think she's listening to music para walang lumapit at kumausap sa kanya. Mahirap na...
Cryd: Don't talk to anyone you don't know, okay? Call me if something came up.
She obediently nodded before pulling up a book from her bag, "Magbabasa lang ako."
Tumango ako at nilabas ang isang container na may lamang cupcakes na binake ni Mommy. Nilapag ko iyon sa lap niya at ang tubig sa ibaba ng upuan.
Cryd: You eat. Kapag nagutom ka. Don't leave unless it's necessary.
"Yes, dad." Pang-aasar niya. Ngumisi lamang ako at lumapit para halikan siya sa noo. Nakagawian ko na talaga iyan.
I moved my hands, applying the basic sign language I know.
I'll go now.
She nodded.
Take care.
Tumango siyang muli. Nginitian ko siya bago luminga muli sa paligid para tignan kung nandito ba ang grupo ni Lovely. Well, they're probably watching the basketball game so Sav's safe from them.
Nang makampante ako ay nag-paalam muna ulit ako sa kanya bago dumiretso sa room na pag-gaganapan ng contest.
The room was eerie. There were some familiar faces. Matagal na kasi akong ipinanlalaban ng school pagdating sa art contests kaya medyo pamilyar na sa akin ang mukha ng mga kasali.
Lady Kiana was there too, para paalalahanan kami sa mga instructions. She'll be the one to tell us what's the topic for our masterpiece. I smiled and waved at her before settling on my seat to arrange the things I needed on the table. White cartolina, a set of paintbrush, pencils and poster paint.
Matapos ang ilang minuto ay nagsimula ng mag-salita si Lady Kiana. Nakinig ako sa kanya kahit pa alam ko naman na ang instruction at criterias. Bibigyan lamang kami ng dalawang oras para matapos ito.
Then she started talking about history, current events and latest technologies. Iniikot-ikot ko ang pencil sa aking daliri.
"The topic for today's Likhang Kamay Contest is..." Ngumiti ng matamis si Lady Kiana, "Past, Present and Future."
I know all of them were thinking about the world's history, its present state and future capabilities but those didn't cross my mind. The only thing I thought of when LK announced the topic was...Savanna.
She's in my past. She's with me in the present. And I want her to be with me in the future too.
Past, Present and Future. Savanna's my past, my present and my future.
My hand moved on it's own. Awtomatiko nitong idinrawing si Sav. Sav and her chubby cheeks. Her twinkling eyes. Her sweet smile...damn, I could even draw her with just a vision on my mind. Walang kopya-kopya. Basta nai-drawing ko siya ng walang hirap.
I'm probably too inspired right now.
On the upper right, I drew the scene from the airport. On the upper left was the scene from the waiting shed. And then, I filled the empty space with flowers and stuffs that could emphasize her beauty.
After painting my work with various colors, I stared at it for a long time. This probably won't make me win the contest but this could win Savanna's heart. Maybe if I showed it to her...and tell her what I feel about her...
I have no plan of telling her my feelings this early. Wala pa talaga akong plano. Oo na, ang bagal ko na nga. Hindi naman kasi madaling umamin sa nararamdaman.
But right now, I'm having this urge to tell her. Like I would regret it if I don't hurry.
I abruptly stood up, raising my hand, "I quit."
"What, Cryd?" Gulat na tanong ni Lady Kiana. Kuryosong tumingin sa akin ang mga tao sa room.
"I quit. I have to go." I said, fixing my things. Lumapit sa akin si LK, "Bakit? Bawal 'yan, Cryd. Magagalit sa'yo si Sir. Tsaka tapos ka naman na—"
Her voice trailed when she saw my painting, "Oh God. That's so beautiful!"
"I need to show it to Sav, LK." I told her. Isinukbit ko ang backpack ko at sinambot ang cartolina.
Wala sa sariling napatango di Lady Kiana. Narinig kong tinawag ako ng isa sa mga tiga-pamahala pero hindi ko na iyon pinansin. Ewan ko ba. May nagtutulak talaga sa akin ngayon na ipakita ito kay Sav.
Immediately, when I got out the room, I saw Sav. She was silently eating the cupcake I gave her. I took a step towards her, not minding the crowd.
She looked up at me when I was standing right in front of her. Ipinakita ko agad sa kanya ang ginawa ko. My heart's beating fast, like it always does when I'm nervous and well, when she's near me.
Nabitawan niya ang cupcake sa sobrang pagkabigla. Gumulong ito sa kung saan. I presume someone stepped on it when I heard a curse.
"Cryd..." She said, almost a whisper. She pointed at my work, "Ano 'yan?"
I lend her my painting and pulled out my phone. Malalim ang paghinga ko habang tinitipa ang sasabihin ko sa kanya.
Cryd: That's a painting, Angel.
"I know." She murmured, "I'm confused. Bakit ka nandito? At bakit ako ang pinaint mo?"
Cryd: Past, present and future ang topic namin, Sav. Ikaw agad ang naisip kong iguhit. Since you're a part of my past. The smile in my present. And the future I'm looking forward to.
Tumayo ako ng tuwid at dumistansya sa kanya. I raised my hand and gestured.
I'm in love with you, Angel.
Her jaw dropped. Her eyes went wide. I wish I asked someone to take a picture of this exact scene.
Dati, tinanong ko si Nico kung paano niya nalaman na mahal niya na si Reina. Nagkibit lamang siya ng balikat noon. Hindi niya daw alam, basta isang araw, nagising siyang mahal niya na 'yon. Mom told me the same. She said she really like Dad and then one day, she just knew she was in love with him. Parang biglaang realization, ganoon.
I didn't believe them. In order to solve a math problem, you need a proper calculation to know the right answer. I thought it's the same with love. Kailangan mo munang tantyahin, at kalkulahin ng mabuti bago mo malamang nagmamahal ka na. It will take a long time to figure it out. Kaya noong nagtagal ng anim na taon ang pagkagusto ko kay Lady Kiana, akala ko pag-ibig na ang nararamdaman ko. Tagal noon eh.
But today, I figured they were right. You'll know you're in love when you're in love. Bigla mo nalang mararamdaman. You'll feel it deep in your heart.
And this time, I know I'm in love with her. Like really in love with her. Madly, crazily, deeply in love.
And it'll grow. It'll last. I'm so sure about it.
Inulit ko ang hand gesture na ginawa ko kanina. Her hands moved to her lips to cover her gaping mouth, "O...M...G."
I bend down to level my face on her. Nagkatitigan kaming pareho. She's teary-eyed, "Talaga ba? You're not joking?"
Natatawa akong umiling. Why would I joke about this? I'm not cruel.
"Wow." Pinaypayan niya ang sarili niya gamit ang isa niyang kamay. I stopped her from doing that. Nanghiram ako ng pamaypay sa lalaki sa tabi, nanonood ito sa amin.
"Thanks." I told him saka pinaypayan si Sav. I chuckled when I saw her blush again. Ang cute cute niya kapag nagbablush, "Breathe, Angel."
"I can't believe it." She said breathlessly, "Akala ko kaibigan lang ang turing mo sa akin...I confessed to you but it's been more than a month—"
I zipped her mouth using my thumb and gave her a confused look, "Confess? You to me? What?"
She shoved my hand and gave me a sharp look, "Hindi mo pa din nababasa!"
She took my phone before I could even utter a word, "I typed this when I was so frustrated on you. The night we got home from prom..."
Ibinalik niya sa akin ang phone ko. I squinted my eyes on the screen. Naka-bukas ang 'notes' nito at may naka-capslock sa pinakuna na, READ THIS.
"Oh." I murmured and tapped it. Ngayon ko lang nakita ito.
"Inis na inis ako sa'yo noon kasi pilit ka ng pilit na crush kita. Kaya ayan iyong tinype ko...kaso nahiha akong ipakita sa'yo agad kaya sinave ko nalang sa phone mo."
I remembered that night, of course. Yumuko ako para basahin ang tintukoy niya.
Eh what 'bout you?! You're probably crushing on me too, you know! You drive me to school and back at home. You text me every night. Nagseselos ka rin kay Dwight! Tapos you even let me meet your family instead of taking Lady Kiana! Oh, and you're super sweet too! You played basketball just bc I like basketball players, diba?! DON'T DENY IT. You played basketball coz of me. Tapos nag-aral ka pa ng mga sign languages! Oh ha! Kainis!
Akala mo naman kung sino ka, makapagbintang na may crush ako sa'yo eh ikaw nga itong obvious na obvious na may crush sa akin!!!! 😡🔪
You're probably thinking, "BUT WERE FRIENDS."
Oo! Magkaibigan tayo! Of course, I know that! We're friends and we both like someone else. Pero anong magagawa ko kung noong dumating ka...nagsimulang mawala yung pagkagusto ko kay Dwight!!!
ASDLFKEIAA!!!!! PA-FALL KA KASI EH!!!! KAINIS!!
Tapos nalaman ko pang ikaw yung lalaki sa airport!
I HATE YOU, CONSTANTINO. I REALLY HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU IN JUST A SHORT TIME.
GRR!!!!
"Holy..." Pinigilan ko ang sarili ko na mapanganga. Damn. Ang tagal na nito nandito! Why I didn't notice it before! Stupid!
"I'm in love with you too." She said sweetly, "I know you know that. I kissed you." Namula ang pisngi niya dahil sa sinabi.
I laughed and fixed her hair. My heart's pounding too fast, my mind's almost going crazy. Man, she just said she loves me too. Even before I realized my feelings for her. I'm a lucky guy. So lucky.
That's why I'm gonna show her how lucky I am to have her. I'm going to treat her even better than how my dad treats my mom. I'd give her everything that I could give. I'll make sure she's the happiest girl living.
"This is so beautiful." She murmured looking at the painting.
"You're beautiful." Bulong ko habang pinagmamasdan ang ekspresyon niya.
"Can I take this home?" She asked me hopefully. I nodded, "Of course, that's yours."
"Salamat." Matamis na ngiti ang iginawad niya. Nagkatitigan kami saglit bago siya mag-salita muli, "Are you my boyfriend now?"
I chuckled and shook my head. Of course not, I'm going to court her first and ask her formally to be my girl. For now, I just want her to know my feelings for her.
Napasimangot sa doon pero hindi na nakapagsalita nang may mag-text ata sa kanya. She took out her phone and read whatever the message is.
"Oh God." She gasped, her eyes widening, "Oh God."
Kumunot ang noo ko at hinawakan ang kamay niya, "Why, Angel?"
"Dwight..." She glanced up at me befor she murmured with a croaked voice, "He got into an accident."
•••
For Cryd's artwork, see picture below.
Isipin niyo nalang mas creative iyong gawa tapos may flowers tsaka airplane at waiting shed kagaya ng description ni Cryd. Hihi. I used colored pens kasi di ko masyado keri kapag paint eh, baka lalong pumangit.
She doesn't look like Sav (Kath) tho. More like Jodi Sta. Maria. Hahahaha. Pero hayaan niyo na, I TRIED!
Bonus (Cryd & Sav's pers kiss)
Bonus ulet kung nabasa niyo TAQ. Hahaha. Nashiel and Dakota:
ok. bye.