Once I was alone, after Mamma and Rose had gone, I sat at the kitchen table cradling a cup of coffee in my hands. Mind whirling, emotions churning, I didn't hear the door open. Too many confused thoughts were milling around in my mind. Only when the shadow fell across the table did I look up, and stiffen.
"Well, ain't got nothin' better to do that sit around?" Al Baily's voice cut through the silence, thick with disdain.
"Get out of my home." Rising to my feet, I faced him, glaring. He sauntered toward me, but I moved, keeping the table between us. The fact that he'd likely come in for a cup of fresh coffee held no relief for me- I hated him!
"Scared, squaw?" Putting his hands on the wood, he leered at me.
"Of what?" Curling my lip, I felt my heart race as anger came to the surface. I wanted to strike him. "You disgust me."
"I know you prefer a savage to a real man, I ain't a fool." Leaning closer, his eyes traveled the length of my slim frame. "You ain't fit for a decent man."
"How would you know what a decent man is?" I shot back, suddenly afraid for Wind Runner. I didn't like the idea that Al Baily's words put into my mind.
"Why you-!"
"Al!" A deep voice cut through the tension, and we both turned. Framed in the doorway, standing tall and angry, Toby was watching, his eyes flaring. "Cut it out!"
"She ain't nothin' but a-"
"I never had reason to cut loose on you before, Al," Toby interrupted. "Don't give me an excuse now."
"You threatenin' me, over the half breed squaw?" Al was startled. "What's got into you Tobe?"
"She's the boss' daughter, Al, and a lady. I ever have cause to question your intentions toward her I'll tear you apart, an' if there's any hide left on you Colter'll strip it off. Now get steppin'."
Al's eyes narrowed as his lips flattened into an ugly snarl. I watched his fingers ball into fists.
"I reckon we gonna have a few things to sort out later, Tobe."
"Anytime Al." Toby stood to one side letting Al push past him from the house, then he looked at me. "You alright?"
"Fine," In truth I felt a little shaky, the unexpected confrontation leaving my legs a little weak. There had been a moment when I wasn't certain what Al was going to do, or try to do.
"I was stoppin' by for a cup of coffee." As if nothing out of the ordinary just happened, Toby stepped inside leaving the door open. "Any fresh?"
"Yes," I waved at the stove. "Help yourself."
Pouring his cup, Toby's eyes swung to me.
"Can I ask you somethin'?"
"Yes," regarding him curiously, I wondered what was on his mind. It was so hard to read what he was thinking. He took a drink before glancing at me.
"We didn't get to really talk, about the other night, I guess I was wonderin'...Miss Jaynie, you courtin' that Indian fella?"
"I...I don't see why that matters to you," our eyes met as I said it and he grinned, shaking his head.
"That ain't an answer."
"It's personal, and you are not family." I started to get up but he put a hand out, laying his fingers gently across my wrist. I felt my skin twitch at the contact, goosebumps racing up my arm. Against my will I felt my pulse increase.
"It's just...I was kinda hopin'...I was wantin' to know if you'd...would you walk out with me, sometime?" I watched as his cheeks tinted a little, but he didn't break eye contact.
"Toby Whitney, are you asking to court me?"
"Well," he kept his hand over mine. "I wasn't thinkin' anythin' quite so formal Miss Jaynie, but, I'm interested in you, and I want a chance to get to know you...if you want."
The words wouldn't come, and I just stared at him. Was he really asking me to let him take me out, with romantic intentions? The fact that I didn't have an answer ready only added to my confusion. When had my life turned so violently upside down? I felt like a leaf caught in the wind, blown where the will of the storm took me.
"Miss Jaynie?"
"Toby, I..." pulling my hand away I moved toward the open door. "I don't know what to say to you."
"I know you were caught in the moment, the other night," his voice dropped a little. "I figure a girl like you don't just go around lettin' anybody with a mind to kiss her...but Jaynie- Miss Jaynie, is your heart set on him? Is there any chance for me at all?"
"Toby," shaking my head I glanced at him then looked away again. "I don't understand why you're asking me this. You can't be serious."
"Why not?" he moved around the table to approach me, and I let him. "You figure I got blinders on? I see you just fine, Miss Jaynie, and I like the idea of you havin' a little somethin' more under your skin."
"What did you say?" My eyes were drawn back to his as my heart leapt. Toby smiled, a warm, gentle expression.
"I see you, an' I gotta say, I like the picture."
The use of that phrase gripped my heart and I just stared at him. His hand reached for mine, and I let him take my fingers. It was a new feeling, nothing like the comfortable warmth of Wind Runner's touch. This was exciting, uncertain, and I couldn't stop the racing of my heart. Toby seemed to know what I was feeling, and he moved closer.
"You can feel it, can't you Jaynie? That tinglin', prickly feelin' up your spine? The way your heart beats so fast it's hard to catch your breath? I can see it in your eyes, I know you feel it too."
For long seconds we stood together, our hands laced, staring into each other's eyes. Finally I broke the spell, unable to bear the indecision of the moment. Pulling my hand from his was almost the hardest thing I'd ever done, for our fingers clung together, as if bound by invisible twine. Backing away, I shook my head, disliking the feeling of uncertainty welling within me.
"I don't know, Toby..."
"Think about it."
"I don't know."
"I ain't askin' for an answer right now," He reluctantly moved away, letting his hand drop. "I ain't goin' anywhere."
"Toby, I don't see how it could work, how we could be happy."
"That's 'cause you don't know me yet, and you haven't had a chance it give it much thought." He smiled at me then and I couldn't help but smile back, his easy expression contagious. Moving past me, his fingers trailed over the back of my hand as he headed to the door but he didn't look back. I murmured a soft "thank you" for his intervention with Al, standing motionless and silent for a long while, until I was certain I was alone. Then I slowly shut the door, blocking out the world beyond, for suddenly my own was utterly overwhelming.
I was still at the table when Frank came home, and keen gray eyes seeming to take in the situation at a glance. His words though, told me the kind of honorable man Toby Whitney was.
"Hey Butterfly," his calloused palm was warm on my shoulder. "Toby just told me he'd asked about courtin' you."
"What did you say?" I couldn't decide if I was hopeful or not.
"I said as long as he treated you right, it was up to you. Looks like you ain't figured it out yet."
"I haven't," looking up into my father's eyes I shook my head, a gesture that was becoming irritatingly familiar to me. Never had I felt so unsure of myself. "What am I going to do Frank?"
"I can't say, that's gotta be up to you, but I have somethin' I think you should know." A flash of darkness glinted in his eyes as he pulled a chair around to sit next to me. "I was ridin' along the low hills between us and the Hayes place, and Angus flagged me down. His riding stock had been driven off, all his horses, and he wanted to warn me about a rogue Indian in the territory. Now take a look out there."
I rose, moving to the window and my breath caught. Milling around in the corral was twenty head of horses that I knew weren't ours. Icy dread shriveled my lungs as I tried to breathe. I was speechless. Frank spoke softly from where he sat.
"I think Wind Runner is makin' his intentions pretty clear, Butterfly. Problem is, that ain't his stock."