It was another gloomy morning in Forks... but not my mood. I was once again excited because Bella will come over again. I had a great time with Bella yesterday. Being around Bella makes me feel very human, I was no longer, what Alice calls it, a walking dead. I am really happy that my family is pleased with Bella. Even though it annoys me, I am really glad my sister is starting to get along with Bella. Alice doesn't just take anyone with her when she's shopping so it's a great factor she invited Bella to shop with her. I can feel my family's approval of Bella... as my friend. But I am hoping that Bella and I's friends-zoned relationship will end sooner. It's only a matter of time before we take our relationship to the next level.
I was just on my balcony, reading the last chapter of Wuthering Heights and drinking some of Esme's delicious homemade hot chocolate when I remembered something. I never ask Bella about her relationship with Jacob Black. I heard rumors that they're secretly together but Bella never mentioned anything. She would tell me if she and Black are together, right? I'll just ask her later.
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It's only 2:30 in the afternoon. Bella will be here in thirty minutes. I started to prepare all of our references. Doing a report on the Earth's biospheres isn't simple. I started making the presentation. In just a few minutes, I heard the doorbell rang. She's here. I felt my heart flutter by just knowing she's close by. I got out of the library to meet her myself. When I was already on the stairs, I heard someone opened the door.
"Oh, hello Bella! It's good to see you again." Esme greeted.
"Hi, Esme! It's good to see you too." said her angelic voice.
"Edward's upstairs. I think he's already in the library." I used that moment to make my presence known.
"I'm here," I said while going down the stairs. Then I saw her, the angel that haunts my dreams, my Bella. She was wearing a black sleeveless blouse and skinny jeans. She looks so damn hot.
"Oh Edward, it's good you're here. Anyways, I'll leave you two alone now. If you need me, I'll be out in my garden."
"Ok, Mom." With that, my mom gave me a teasing smile then left us. I hoped Bella didn't see that.
"Hey..." I said turning to my angel.
"Hello to you too. So should we get that report finished?"
"Let's go then."
We went upstairs back to the library. We started doing our tasks. We weren't as quiet as yesterday. We talked about random stuff from novels to movies. The more we talked, the more I found out that we have so many similar interests. After a few hours, we were finally done. We went to our same spots as yesterday and continued talking. It's like we always have something to talk about. Then I remembered what I was planning to ask her earlier this morning.
"So... uhm... I heard you and Jacob are a couple now." I began. Bella was shocked at first but then she blushed. I love her blush but I hate the cause of it. I suddenly felt jealous. I never thought that mere statement had an effect like that on her. I never knew Jacob Black has that effect on her.
"Oh, where did you hear that from?"
"Rumors. I just want to know if it's true."
"Oh no, Jake and I are not a couple... not yet." She said muttering the last part. And right there, I felt a squeezing pain in my chest. All this time, she has feelings for him. Just this morning, I was planning on telling her my feelings for her and moving our friendship to the next level. I didn't consider the idea that she might not have the same feelings for me, that I was nothing more but a friend to her.
"N-not yet?" I asked trying to mask the pain
"Yeah, we dated once in a while but we're not officially together. I... I never made it official." Suddenly I felt hope.
"Why? You don't want to be his girlfriend or something?"
"I-I-I want to..." Ouch. My hope disappeared faster than it appeared. Bella's face got redder. I can see she's embarrassed with this conversation.
"So... why not?"
"I-I'm a bit confused..." she was biting her lower lip.
"Confused? About what?" I can feel the awkward atmosphere. You just have to ask.
"I'm confused if... it's the right thing to do.......... any advice?" Oh, God! She's asking for an advice. What will I tell her? She has this pleading look that says "I'm really lost and I really need your help" and there's the fact that I couldn't resist her. I so badly want to tell her right then what I feel about her but I know it will only confuse her, moreover end our friendship and I didn't want that. I guess I just have to suck it up and be her friend.
"Well... uhm... what does your heart want?" this conversation is going to kill me.
"What do you mean?" now it's my turn to feel embarrassed.
"Well... love is... love, for me, is like music."
"I still don't understand."
"How can you say you love a song?"
"Well... when I got it stuck in my head and I want to hear it all the time."
"Exactly, well, for me, I think I'm in love if... she's all I could think about... if I always want her right by my side... if I want to hear nothing but her voice... if I enjoy every moment I have with her..." I suddenly got cheesy but while saying those words all I could think about is Bella. It's like I'm confessing my feelings for her but in her mind, it was an advice. Then I realized I was trailing off.
"... anyway... that's just my idea..."
"It's beautiful... what I mean is I agree with you. I know what to do now." Then before I could say anything, she hugged me. It felt so right. I wished it could be more than a friendly hug.
"Thank you..." she said her head leaning on my chest.
"You're welcome..."
Then suddenly her phone rang ruining the moment. She let go of me to get her phone from her pocket. She looked for the ID of the caller.
"Excuse me." She mumbled. I nodded then she answered her phone.
"Hello, Dad!"
Pause.
"Aha."
Pause.
"Ok."
Pause.
"I'll be there soon."
Pause.
"Ok... bye. Love you too."
She hung up the phone.
"It's my dad. He wanted me to get home earlier because Sue invited us for dinner." She explained. I guess our time together is ending.
"Ok then." It felt awkward.
"So I got to go."
"Oh." It was really awkward.
Bella packed her stuff while I turned off the appliances. We awkwardly went out of the library. It was already five in the evening. We were already out of the house, approaching her car when Bella broke the awkward silence.
"By the way, where's Alice I haven't seen her all afternoon."
"She's with Jasper. They have a date in Seattle today."
"Oh, do you think she already forgot our shopping trip?"
"Oh no, Alice never forgets things especially shopping. Just this morning, she was actually listing the stores you are going to visit tomorrow." I chuckled a bit at that. Bella groaned at my reply that made me laugh.
"There's really no getting out of this, isn't it?" I'm glad the awkwardness was finally gone.
"Nope."
"You're evil. You're laughing at me now. Wait until you are in my position."
"Hey! Don't be like that. But I'll bet you'll have fun. Alice could be a shopaholic but she's good company."
"Well, I'll take that as an encouragement." We were both laughing. Then we finally reached her car.
"Anyway, sorry if our time was cut short. I really enjoyed your company." Bella said. I was happy she said that.
"You're always welcome."
"Thank you for that advice. It means a lot to me. It will be a great help." I slightly cringed when she reminded me of the advice.
"No prob."
"So I'll see you tomorrow then."
"Yes. Goodbye. Drive safely."
I thought she'll get in her car now but she has other plans. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. It was a short kiss but it left a tingling feeling and as soon as her lips left my skin, I already miss it. She whispered a "goodbye" then she got into her car and drove off after giving a final wave. I went in the house grinning like a fool because of the kiss but I'm also in pain because of that stupid advice. Who knew what those words will do?