Chapter 26
Dressed in an old sweatshirt and pants with a bowl of Gina's finest ice-cream clutched in my hands, I stayed curled into a ball in my bed with the blankets on top of me and stared into space.
Gina ripped the sheets off the top of my head and looked at me in pity. I'd finally told her about Dennis, not that there was much point; she suspected it already. I guessed it was pretty obvious.
"Oh, Ali," she murmured, gently pulling the ice-cream tub from my fingers and wrapping her arms around me. "I'm so sorry, love."
I sniffed. "It's not your fault."
I cried into her shoulder, soaking her T-shirt, but she didn't complain. She just rocked me back and forth, whispering soothing words that didn't really register in my mind but calmed me down alot.
Rubbing my back, she said, "This isn't fair."
"I know," I mumbled.
"I'm going to cheer you up," she informed me with an edge of determination.
I smiled shakily. "Don't bother, Gee, it's no use."
"You've survived worse," she reminded me, patting my hair like a mother would to her child.
Gina was right. I'd survived Ian, and that was a lot worse for so many reasons. So why, if it's possible, did I feel even worse about Dennis?
"That's true," I agreed reluctantly.
"So we're going out," she told me simply. "We're going to have fun, get drunk and hit on sexy guys."
"We know what happened last time I did that," I said, sighing.
Gina looked at me pointedly. "That's not going to happen again."
I leaned my head against the wall and groaned. "No, Gee, okay? Can you... just leave me alone? For a while?"
"But-"
"Please."
Hesitantly, she nodded. "Okay. I have to go visit my parents anyway."
She left the room. I stood up and walked sluggishly towards the mirror. When I saw my reflection, I pulled a face. Usually I looked okay without make-up, but the plain face mixed with messy, tangled hair, the dreary clothes and the glum expression made me want to hide from myself.
After brushing through most of the tangles in my hair and changing into something more nice, I grabbed my purse and slipped out of the apartment.
I headed straight for the nearest pub, sat at the bar and just drank.
For a while, I just sat on my own, drinking away my sadness. The alcohol just numbed the pain and I was content to do it until I passed out. But my thoughts would occasionally drift back to Dennis... and his smirks... God, he was amazing.
Why did only bad things happen to me? I was good person. I deserved to be happy... right?
Right?
"Fancy meeting you here."
I nearly choked on my shot.
"Ian?" I exclaimed and then groaned. Seriously?! Why was this guy everywhere? Where ever I went, he was there. Was he like my Guardian Angel or was he just stalking me?...
He took a seat next to me and scanned my eyes with his leaf-green ones and, after a second, he sighed.
"You're sad."
"I'm not," I responded in denial, eying the empty glass with a frown. I hadn't drunk enough. "What are you even doing here?"
"Stop it," he said when the bartender passed me another. "Stop drinking, it doesn't help." He held my eyes. "Trust me."
Glaring, I gulped it down anyway. "Don't tell me what to do," I breathed. "Now leave me alone."
"I'm taking you home," he replied, glowering back at me.
I turned on the sickly sweet smile and stayed rooted to the spot. "Just fuck off, Ian. I don't need your help."
He flinched at my words but didn't back down. "Come on, Ali. Please."
I snorted, taking another sip. My head spun and there were black dots filling my vision. Determined, I blinked rapidly and the dizzy spell passed.
I pushed the glass away, feeling nauseated all of a sudden. "Fine," I agreed reluctantly. "Take me home."
He smiled and let me lean on him because I couldn't walk straight anymore. It was silent and very, very awkward.
I was glad when we got back. "Thanks."
He touched my arm. "Can I come inside? Please?"
Considering he'd just been a gentlemen to me - even though there was no possibility for sex involved - and because Gina wasn't even around, I thought I owed it to him, so nodded reluctantly.
"Sure."
Ian entered.
"I'll, uh, make a drink. What d'you want?"
"Water's fine," he said.
I stalked into the kitchen and filled up a glass with water. I could see him strolling casually around my apartment and looking at everything. He'd been here before so it shouldn't have bothered me, but it did. I didn't like him touching my things. I didn't like him here. It felt like he was trying to worm his way back into my life.
"Here," I passed him the drink. "So... did you want to talk or something?"
He shook his head. "No, just a little chitchat."
I resisted the urge to throw something large and heavy at him. "I'm a little busy."
Ian's eyes swept the room. "With what?"
I said the only thing I could think of. "My boyfriend's coming around soon." The look on his face turned from nonchalant to anger.
And then he kissed me.
His lips were rough against mine and, staggering back from his sudden force, I tried to push him away but his grip was tight and strong. His hands slipped to the back of my head, his fingers knotted in my hair, to keep my head against his. I wanted to gag. Instead, I kicked him hard on the leg.
"Ow - what the hell?!" he cried, clutching his harmed foot and hopping the other. "Why did you do that?"
"Why did you do that?" I shrieked, feeling completely sober all of a sudden. I wiped my lips, disgusted.
"I should be your boyfriend," he said simply and I slapped him. Hard.
"Get the fuck out, you jerk," I said in a low voice.
He reached for me. "Ali-"
"No!" I slapped his hand away.
"Why can't you give me another chance?" he said, almost whining. "I'm in love with you. Please. Why can't I have a second chance?"
I brought my face up close to his, looked at him as if he were a disease and spoke. "Because for two years, when I looked in the mirror all I could see was a girl who wasn't enough. And I don't want to be that girl again."
He left the apartment and, I hoped, my whole life altogether.
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Egh. Not happy with this chapter but I want to get back to regular uploading XD
Enjoooooooyy!