I shut the car door behind me. A swift breeze catches my fur in the beautiful autumn afternoon. I take a deep breath of the crisp air, and let it out slowly.
"So, you're sure you're ok doing this alone?" I hear someone ask from behind me. John rests his elbows on the hood of the car casually. He has a small, tender smile on his face, and his green eyes glow with compassion. He straightens up. "I mean, you know... This can't be easy for you. This couldn't be easy for anybody." John states.
I let a small smile grow on my face. "I know..." I admit. "Just give me a few minutes please."
John nods. "I'll be in the car. If you decide you need me, you know where to find me." he says.
"Thanks." I turn and start walking. I approach the big metal gates of the local cemetery. They sit idly, welcoming any fur inside. Headstones are lined in neat, symmetrical rows along the rolling hills of the cemetery. Flowers are scattered about, growing naturally and being placed by others. I walk past countless graves. Anxiety eats away at me slowly for some reason.
I walk up to a beautiful gray headstone. Made of marble, it shines beautifully in the sunshine. Engraved, in cursive, are these words:
'Mel Edwards
Loving husband and father of two boys.
August 14, 1979 - May 26, 2014'
I stifle a sob. "H-hi Dad..." I whine softly. Tears burn at the brims of my eyes. I lift my paw and dab my eyes softly. I take a trembling breath. "I... I haven't been here in a while to talk... I just... I wanted to fill you in on what's happened since the last time we spoke."
I cross my legs underneath me and sit down on the ground in front of my dad's grave. I hold my tail nervously in my paws. "I met a guy..." I say. "Heh, you'd love him. His name is John. He's... He's my boyfriend..." I can picture the look on my dad's face as I finished they sentence. I laugh softly. "Surprise... I like guys." I feel a small smile form on my face. "I know you don't care... I know you'd just want me to be happy."
I turn my head toward the cemetery entrance. I can see John through the windows of the car. He twiddles his thumbs, waiting patiently for me to finish my business here. I sigh.
"I know I don't visit you often... Not as often as a son should." A sob catches my throat. "I just wanted to tell you how much I miss you... How much I wish you were here to see how happy I am now..." That's all I can muster. I bury my face in my paws and cry. The wind blows gently again, messing up the fur on my head.
I feel a paw on my shoulder. I turn around and hug whoever is behind me. I embrace John, crying into his shoulder.
"Hey, hey..." He whispers. "You're ok, you're ok..." John keeps his arms wrapped around me, comforting me. He chuckles softly. "Hey... I bet you're dad would think it's funny how you asked me to prom." he laughs. "Chicken nuggets... Who thinks of things like that?"
I lift my head off of John's shoulder and smile warmly. "Yeah... He'd get a kick out of that. Probably laugh at me for being so lame, heh..." I look back at my dad's headstone. "So... I'll get better at coming to visit you more often..." I say. "I love you... I'll see you again soon Dad... I promise..."
John keeps an arm around my shoulders as he walks me back to the car. He opens the passenger door for me and swings it closed. He walks around to the driver's side and plops down in the seat. We sit together in silence for minutes, but it feels like forever.
"Hey John..." I say.
John looks at me. His green eyes are the most beautiful, comforting thing I've ever seen. They shine brightly with care, comfort, concern...
Love.
Despite all the hardships and chaos I've been through after making John, I know I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. I know that this guy I'm sitting beside is my other half, the light of my life. I know that I want to spend the rest on my life with this wonderful guy, because I have feelings for him.
Because I love him
"I love you John." I smile.
And I mean it.
John laughs, smiling beautifully. His compassionate eyes lock with mine. He opens his mouth, and I already know the beautiful words he's about to say.
"I love you too."