Three months pregnant
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The Joker had to admit that he was intrigued by the pregnancy as all Harley ever did was talk about everything relating to babies.
"We'll need to get a good crib, but one that's also small enough to fit in the corner of the bedroom. Oh! Maybe we can find one that can convert into a bed when he gets older! I'll need to get a diaper pail and a changing table and lots and lots of bibs..."
In fact, one corner of their bedroom was already more prepared than The Joker. "Harl," he had grumbled one night as he looked at the pile of baby supplies from his place on the bed. "The kid isn't even here yet and already you have a baby shrine. We still have six months!" Harley would just ignore him and continue to fold and re-fold the burp cloths.
The Joker felt a slight change in him while he was surrounded by onesies and pacifiers. He would still stay up late in his study concocting new plans for the next job, but while he was scribbling or cutting away, he would continually take a break and check to see how Harley was doing, whether she was resting in the bed or even getting a glass of milk in the kitchen.
One night, while Harley was darning one of The Joker's socks while sitting on the sofa, she had realized that Elvis hadn't been around very much. She mentioned this to The Joker as he sat rubbing her toes on the other end of the couch. He gave her a small scowl and replied, "I dunno, doll...he just better hope I don't find him."
Harley smirked as she returned to her darning. Seconds later, she moaned lightly, making The Joker turn his head. "What's wrong?" he asked, creasing his brow in slight concern.
"Oooh," she moaned again. "I just got a weird craving..."
The Joker chuckled. "Yeah?"
She licked her lips and batted her lashes at him. "Daddy? Will you do me a huge favor, please?"
He smiled at her. "Sure," he said. "What can Daddy get his babies to make them feel better?"
"Rocky Road and pickles," she said in a serious tone.
All he could do was blink. "Come again?"
"Please, Puddin'! I'm craving it. Go get some for me, please."
"Are you serious?" The Joker said. "That's disgusting."
"I know!" Harley exclaimed. "It's weird, but I want it. Please, Daddy..."
He sighed and shook his head. "I'll get the rookie to do it..." He stood up from his seat on the sofa and headed to the front door. He pulled out a wad of bills from his pocket and met his men as he opened it. "Hey, kid!" he shouted and the young rookie trotted nervously over to his Boss. "Here. Go get princess some Rocky Road ice cream and a big jar of pickles."
The kid, Angus, sneered in disgust, but nodded. "Um...sure, Boss."
"And chocolate milk, please!" came Harley's shout from the den.
"You heard her," The Joker muttered and shut the door before he could hear his men give disgusted noises.
An hour later, The Joker stared at his girlfriend in disbelief as she shoveled ice cream into her mouth while alternating bites of a giant, crunchy pickle between spoonfuls. She paused and finally met his eyes. "What?" she asked, a big bite of sugary, sour pickle in her mouth.
"That fucking stinks," The Joker muttered, but Harley just shrugged and took a bigger bite of her snack.
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Six months pregnant.....
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"Aren't you excited, Pud?" Harley asked The Joker as he ate his bowl of cereal and read the paper.
Without looking up, he said "About what?"
Harley let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm going to Dr. Stein today to find out the sex of the baby! Remember?" He did remember and he gave her a sly grin.
Dr. Stein was recommended by a Family The Joker had ties with, and even though Harley knew she needed to go for the health of her and the baby, he had to keep reassuring her that the good doctor didn't operate out of an abandoned warehouse.
"Look, Harl," he had said. "You're going to see this guy because I may be very familiar with your lady parts, but there's no way I'm delivering this kid. End of discussion."
During their first visit, Harley warmed up to the doctor immediately. "Don't vorry, dahling," he said to her in his thick, Yiddish accent. "I'm gonna make sure you're comfortable throughout all the tests and make sure we deliver this little eyfele on time."
Harley was now trying to convince The Joker to set aside his day's plans to share this moment with her. "Daddy, come on..."
"Lover, I can't..." he mumbled as he folded his paper and stood up, placing his hand on her big belly.
She bit her lip as she placed her hand on his. "But...I'm scared..." Their eyes met and he grinned, knowing that she was nervous to find out why the baby hadn't kicked yet.
"Everything's fine, Harl. It'll move when it wants to..."
"But," she sighed. "It's too late...it should be kicking my ass by now..."
The Joker chuckled and placed his other hand under her maternity shirt and moved it in a soothing, circular motion, then he suddenly paused, stopping under her navel. "Alright...I'll go."
Harley's smile grew wide across her face. "You will?" Before he could answer, she threw her arms around his neck, her belly hitting his and making him almost lose his footing from the force.
Half an hour later, he was sitting beside her as she lay on the examination table, her heels in stirrups as she lay nude under her paper gown. He quit thumping the pump of the blood pressure cuff and looked around the room until his eyes rested on her current state.
"That's attractive," he quipped, making her click her tongue against her teeth in annoyance.
After what seemed another half hour, they were finally greeted by the doctor, who announced boisterously, "Gelibte! How is everything, my love? Oh, and Papa is here! Velcome!" He quickly shook The Joker's hand as he nervously smiled.
"Now," Dr. Stein began. "Let's take a look at dis little miracle, huh?"
"Uh, Doctor," Harley interrupted. "We have a small concern..."
"Oh?" he said, preparing the stethoscope around his neck and began to listen to her heart.
"Yeah, the baby hasn't kicked yet and, well...we're just a bit worried that..."
He quickly held up his hand to stop her and placed his stethoscope to her belly and Harley held her breath. "Uh huh. Uh huh...uh huh. Okay, there's still a baby in there."
The Joker gave a small grin as Harley finally exhaled. "Just a little shy, maybe," the doctor continued. "Tell me, Papa," he looked at The Joker. "Do you ever talk to the little one?"
"What?" he instantly rejoined, confusedly.
"No!" Harley interjected. "He should, huh? According to my baby books, he has to talk to the baby while it's still in the womb."
"I'm sorry," The Joker said. "Did I miss something?"
"You need to talk to the baby, Puddin'," Harley told him matter-of-factly. "It helps it connect with you before it's born."
"Harley, that's ridiculous! I'm not talkin' to your stomach," he sneered.
She began to grow frustrated. "Mistah J! If you care about giving this baby any kind of advantages before it comes into the world, then you-"
"Don't turn this into couples' therapy, Harl!"
"Please, you two!" Dr. Stein intervened. "Papa's right, dahling. Leave it for home. It's really no big deal. But, Papa, do please try to talk to the belly. It does help."
The Joker sighed impatiently but grabbed Harley's hand and caressed her knuckles with his thumb as she turned her blue eyes to him, apologetically. He grinned and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.
"Now," Dr. Stein announced as he put on his gloves and turned on a huge machine beside Harley. He clapped his hands together. "Are we ready to see the little bundle of joy?" Harley nodded with glee as The Joker squeezed her hand.
After a few moments, the transducer picked up small movement and Dr. Stein pointed it out, saying, "Do you see that, Miss Quinn?" Harley looked and shrugged. "That's a hand."
The Joker's grin was unconsciously turning into a full smile as he looked from the screen to Harley's joyous face.
"Look, there's the profile of the face, there," he continued.
"Oh, Pud," Harley sighed, tears growing in her eyes. "It has your nose..."
Dr. Stein paused. "Bingo!" he suddenly exclaimed. The Joker raised a curious eyebrow as he tried to determine what had been found. His smile suddenly grew wider when he spotted it and then asked, "Doc...is that what I think it is?"
Dr. Stein smiled back at him, but before he could answer, Harley squealed with delight, "It's a boy! Oh my God, we're having a boy!"