I have always hated endings. It is always sad to see something come to an end, no matter what it is. A relationship, a book, a show, a movie, even a life. Everything can come to an end.
So I always tear the last page of the book out, pause the show or movie with 5 minutes left. But I can't do those things in a relationship, I have to go through it and hope for it not to end.
Every time I get let down, but I thought this time was different. When we first met it was love at first sight. Not long after we met we became good friends and eventually got together.
For me it was the perfect relationship. We went on a bunch dates that never ceased to amaze me. We cuddled and held hands, we shared so many kisses. It was the best relationship I have ever been in, but it had to end.
And even now I can imagine his warm hand encasing mine and we walked in the park. I can feel his hand caressing my cheek ever so gently. I can feel the ghostly touch of his lips on mine. It all seemed so real, but it wasn't.
His life came to an end. Life, just like relationships, we can't stop from coming to an end. It's pretty fucked up that the 2 things I can't stop from coming to an end, have done so without any input from me.
It's been a week since his death and I was a mess. My friends and family are worried, I can tell from the constant beeping from my phone, and the rare knock and yells I hear from my door. I didn't care though because, he was dead.
We were gonna get married, I even have the ring he gave me. My fucking fiancé died and the one relationship I wanted to last, has already ended. It was fucked up and I knew I needed to move on but I didn't know how to.
Sighing I got up out of my burrito of blankets and grabbed my phone. I then proceeded to engage in human contact. I texted my friends and family that I was okay, and I was done sulking by myself.
And I was. I knew he didn't want me like this, he wanted me to be happy. So I went out of the house and ate something other than chips and ramen noodles.
Slowly but surely I got back on my feet. I informed our fans of his death but I still continued making videos, but it was a while until I started smiling a genuine smile. But I did and I am very proud that I could still do something we both love, YouTube.
And while on this YouTube journey, I learned that it's okay to see something end. It will always live on in your heart or maybe something will be reborn from it.
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Hi, I would like to tell you this is the last chapter because I'm making a new book with longer and better one-shots. I might even edit some of these to make them better, so you might want to watch out for that.
Anyways like I stated in the one shot, everything ends and this is no exception. It's just another book is being born from its ashes.
I hope your not mad, and I'm sorry for giving you no warning, it's just that I know I can write better and I want you guys to see that writings.
So I will release my new book some time in the next few days.
~M