(Abrar's POV)
As the cold water ran through my body, I felt my body growing stiffer. My peace of mind and heart was completely lost. It was so strange, if I think about it, some days ago, I just wanted a girl badly, I wanted to touch her, I wanted to make her mine, and especially I wanted her in my bed. But now when I could do all these, I didn't want to. I wanted something different now. I wanted to feel her instead of just touching her, I wanted her to be mine instead of making her mine. I wanted her in my bed, not to just have her but to wrap my arms around her and sleep peacefully, consuming her. I wanted so much more. But she didn't want any of it. And why would she? She wanted someone else and most prolly she loves him too. There was no place of me in her life and the thought pierced like a knife in my chest.
After taking the long shower, my mind completely shifted to my work. I had carry on my investigation on the new company. Before making a deal, it was very important to know inside and out about a company, so that the deal can be carried out with more ease and you don't get into any trap. Thinking all these, I got dressed and the headed to my study. On my way I also told a servant, to get a coffee for me in the study.
Once I started, there was lot of things I got hold of, and it made more content and happier. I felt like I was drowning in the deep ocean, this gave me a feel of scuba diving. I realised at that instant, how much I loved my work.
Suddenly, as door of the study opened, I felt, all the grip of work that I was holding just detached from my hand. My mind completely shifted to somewhere else. My heart started to beat fast and I knew who was on the door. The room filled with chocolate scent and it made me crazier, like a hungry lion starving for many days and then he finally found his prey. She had an amazing impact on me and the thought brought me back to reality. What was I thinking? Have I got nuts?
Then her slow steps towards the table and the increasing frequency of her scent made my heart race faster. I was scowling myself for what my mind was thinking. Stop thinking about her, the back of my mind shouted. I concentrated more on the words in front of me, but they seemed more blur the harder, I tried to look at them.
When she lifted the cup and placed it again on the tray making noise, which meant that she wanted my attention, the lost confidence in me came rushing back. I made myself hard and didn't look up at her for even once. The silence from yesterday night invaded my mind and all these feelings vanished like a magic. She didn't deserve my attention. She meant nothing to me, I reminded myself. Anger took back its place in my heart and I signed her to leave, raising my hand.
Then I heard her coming around the table to my side and then she kneeled down after standing for a second, straight in the direction of my sight. She was so stubborn, she had me look at her. I couldn't help but my gaze shifted at her naturally.
I knew anger glowed in my eyes, as it burned like a fire inside me. I was about to tell her to leave but then she covered her eyes with her hands leaving be completely baffled. What the hell was she doing? I looked at her in shock.
"Why are you giving me such angry looks? I am getting scared Abrar." She said in a rush.
I exhaled a deep breath, to control my anguish. After a moment of silence she slowly separated her fingers, to look through the gaps. I stared at her confused and at the same time with shock. She made me speechless sometimes with her behaviour.
I moved my eyes from her when she removed her hand from her face and at that moment our eyes met for a second. I shifted my chair back and got up, turning away from her being ready to leave. But she instantly grabbed my hand, getting up.
With every second her grip tightened around half of my hand. It sent shivers down my spine and I thought I couldn't resist touching her anymore.
I didn't waste a second and pushed her against the nearby wall. I pushed her deep against the wall holding her perfectly fitted wrist in my hand. I enclosed her with my body, and I could hear raged beating of heart. For a moment i closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, taking her in.
"Why do you make things so difficult for me?" The back of my mind asked and I said it aloud. The realisation made my eyes open.
"Mhmm?" She snapped open her eyes too, as she heard me.
"Stay away from me." I said raising my eye brow and glaring at her. Giving her a final warning.
As I let go of her hand, she quickly grabbed my shirt, my eyes immediately shifted to her hand with which she squeezed my shirt. What is she doing? Does she even knows that?
My hand went on top of hers and I looked into her eyes trying to understand what she was thinking. Her eyes pleaded me, and I knew right at that moment, she understood my behaviour towards her. She looked a scared and her heart was beating loudly with fear.
Soon as I heard dad's voice, calling my name, I got her hand out from my shirt and went out without looking back.
Dad waited for me outside and then we walked to the sitting room, talking about our new project. All her thoughts slowly fading away from my mind.
(Sadia's POV)
He didn't hear me. He didn't hear me when I said that 'I wouldn't need that change.' And it scared me to think that, I took too much time to realise this. I should have said it aloud right at that moment, when he asked me if I wanted Maruf. But now I wanted to tell him clearly that I didn't want Maruf anymore, he was my past and he had no space in our married life. I took the hem of my stole and held it firmly.
As I walked back to our room, I thought what I should tell Abrar. I had to make it clear to him that, I didn't have anything to do with Maruf. But then what? Was I ready to take our marriage forward? Did I have complete trust in him? Would he be able to keep my trust? So many questions filled my mind. I didn't want to get hurt by him, I wouldn't be able to bear if he randomly sleeps with any women just like that. The thought of it even sounded so bitter.
It was also hard to accept such behaviour of him towards me. Him being rude and not talking to me properly. At least he used to talk to me before even if he was rude but now he doesn't even do that. It hurt, it hurt a lot.
I missed his touch, him being near me. At the thought of this I just realised how much I wanted him.
As I reached the room, I sat on the bed lifting both my legs on the bed, one on top of another. I needed to talk to someone, but with whom?
The first thing that came to my mind were my cousins. I could talk to them. They knew everything and it wouldn't talk long for them to understand.
Grabbing my phone, I searched for Mou's name. She was the only one who would be awake so late at night. She was always online on Facebook. She picked up the call in two rings.
"Sadia.... I thought you forgot us."
She bursted as soon as she picked the call up.
"Mou." I said, I felt my voice broke at taking her name.
"Sadia is everything fine?" She asked growing tensed.
"I don't know what I should do?" I almost broke into a cry saying this..
"Sadia will you tell me please what's the matter?" She asked her voice calm but angry. I took a deep breath, to stop my crying and told her everything from the starting, my chat with Abrar and how he reacted and all. She heard me silently all the time without saying anything and after I was done she just asked me one thing.
"Do you trust him?" It left me cold all over, I wanted to tell her that I trust him, a lot. But is he actually capable of my trust, after I know everything about him. How he is.
"Do you trust him Sadia?" She asked me again. When I didn't reply anything she finally spoke.
"If you really trust him, and think that he will never hurt you then take this marriage forward. Give it a chance. Give him a chance. Make this marriage work, with your love. For how long is it going to be like this, even though you guys are husband and wife, you guys have nothing that should be between a husband and wife. Are you listening me Sadia?"
"Hmm." Was all I could reply.
"I need time to think."
"Take all the time you need but say it a yes. Abrar's not a bad guy."
After a moment of silence we both cut the call.
Abrar's not a bad guy, I should give him a chance, Mou's words resonated in my brain. I held my knees closer to my chest and after thinking for a while about today's incidences, I realised Mou was right. I should give him a chance. I can't be away from him. I can't lose him, I didn't have anymore power in me to handle a loss. I remembered my dad's promise that I had to make this marriage successful and that's what I am going to do I thought. A smile spread on my face at the thought of meeting Abrar. I got up immediately and rushed towards the study, I didn't see him there. I didn't stop and started looking for him in the entire house and found him talking to dad in the sitting room. They seemed quite busy in a discussion and after waiting for a while, I thought I should talk to him in the morning. As he didn't seem like he would come out soon. I began yawning, and thought I should go and sleep I also had office tomorrow. Looking at the time in the wall clock I gaped, it was five in the morning. I rushed to my room and fell on the bed, soon sleep took over me.
~~~~~~
In the morning, I woke up lazily stretching my hand. As I looked at the clock, I got another shock. It was eleven in the morning. I got up quickly and went to take a shower. After freshening up, I quickly wore a salwar kameez, and got out of the room. On my way I found mom, I greeted her good morning and asked if Abrar already left for office. She replied with a yes and then I rushed to my office too.
There I bought myself a sandwich which I munched and as I worked on a scheme. All my other lady co workers were also there. We all sat together and did our work. We sometimes laughed and talked about our married life. It was great working there. Everyday was a new experience.
I didn't realise when the morning turned into afternoon. After my working hour ended I didn't wait for a second and headed to home. There I found out that Abrar didn't come home yet, I took the time to take a shower.
After taking an amazing shower, I stood in front of the word drove in a towel, thinking what I should wear. I looked for something beautiful yet simple, so that I don't look overdressed. Then I got out a very pretty pale pink round dress, with dark pink and golden border. I swivelled a lot of times flaunting my dress in front of the mirror.
After I was done dressing, I put on a light pink lipstick and eyeliner. Then I sauntered around the room, eagerly waiting for Abrar. I became so hungry at a point waiting for him that I decided to eat something, as all I ate from morning was just a sandwich. On my way going downstairs, I saw the the door of study slightly open. I immediately had butterflies in my stomach at the thought that Abrar was in. I twirled the hem of my stole and slowly kept my steps towards Abrar's study. I slightly pushed the door, my face hurt for smiling so much, but as I looked up, I felt the world around me came to a sudden halt. My knees I thought stopped supporting me. I held the on the door strongly for support. This was what I feared and Abrar crashed my world into pieces.
He looked up at me with Jenny sitting on his lap. Could he just do this? His face didn't even reflect any sort of shock or shame, as if it was a normal thing for him to do. The side of Jenny's mouth twitched in a smile making my throat dry. I gulped taking in the sight in front of me.
I opened my mouth to say something but couldn't find any words. I took my steps back and as soon as I was away from there sight, I ran up to my room.
There somehow closing the door, I slide down against the door, and sat there baffled. Not even a tear escaped my eyes. I felt as if someone kept a heavy stone in my heart. My throat dried and it was even hard for me to gulp down. I took deeps breaths in and it made me gasp, slowly my voice broke in a cry and then what I knew was tears ran through my eyes in a stream. I tried to calm my voice down as I didn't want anyone to hear my voice. I swiped my tears and went to the bed and got the blanket on top of me. I wanted to hide somewhere and cry as loudly as I could. But I couldn't even do that as I was scared that someone will know. My gasp turned into hiccups and I cried until my eyes swelled because of crying and till it couldn't be open anymore. Slowly I drowned into sleep and my hiccups stopped.
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I know it's a bad ending. What Abrar did was not right.
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