Your POV
Singer of the new popular group 'Elements' , Y/f/n, was caught by police and taken to the Miami Police Station late yesterday night. Witnesses saw the female singer yelling and running from the police. She didn't get far when the police got her. It was said that the singer even stopped mid running, turned around, and then complying with the police. We have been told that the singer has been charger for being under the influence and the possession of Marijuana. The singer was bailed out around 11am and seen with band member, Cole and two other guys, believed to be family members. The three guys created a circle around the singer as they ushered her to their car.
What was the 'Elements' singer thinking? What was going through her mind as everything was happening? What does she have to say for herself?
"I fucked up didn't I?"
"I don't know Y/n. I truly don't know." Cole sighs.
"Come on guys. We have to get you to the airport." Wes announces.
"Sorry, I ruined you time with Camila."
Cole puts his arm around me. "It's ok. She understands and I do too. Don't worry about it ok?" I nod my head.
"You guys have everything?" Adam asks.
We nod our heads. We all head to the car and reach the airport an hour later. Adam and Wes escort us to security, where security escorts us the rest of the way. Fans and paparazzi were they, waiting for us. Cole and I knew not to stop and to keep going.
The almost six hour plane ride was full of nonstop thoughts. I couldn't help but think of what was to come. Everything happened so fast. Cole and I were the first to reach Keith's, Shelley's, and Dylan's house. I could tell by the threes' expression, they felt sympathy for me. I guess from seeing how I am.
I couldn't think straight. I was tired and barely got any sleep. After greeting everyone, I immediately went to my room. Isolating myself from the world. As if nothing from the past 24 hours actually happened.
I wanted so badly to look at my phone to see what everyone was saying, but I couldn't. Cole took my phone from me and shut it off. He thought it would be best and I couldn't agree more. I decided to take a nap as I wait for the rest of the guys to get here. I just wish that I could hide in this room forever. Escaping the reality of the world.
I was waken up by Payton what felt like minutes later, but in reality was about three hours. Everyone in the house ate together in an awkward silence. I knew everyone was trying to spark up a conversation, anything to fill the dead air. But nothing worked. At least with me anyway.
The ride to the meeting was once again, an awkward silence. I had my headphones in and laid my head against Shane's shoulder. Arriving to the building there were what seemed like a million paparazzi, trying to get a picture of the new troubled teen star. There are six security guards escorting us to the building. The 15 yard walk to the entrance felt like 100 yards, with crowd and the yelling and the flashes. The ride in the elevator and the walk to the room was silent. Everything around me felt silent. As if it would it were to make a sound, all hell would brake loose.
And it did. Simon and L.A. were disappointed in me. They didn't have to say it, but I know they are. They told me that I had to do an interview to clear everything up. I had a choice to sugar coat and filter what I say or just tell the truth and the whole truth. Tomorrow, I would have an interview on Ellen. She would be helping me clear up the air and the rumors speculating around me.
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Ellen Interview
"Welcome back, Y/n! It's great to see you again."
"Thank you, thank you, It's great to be back. I've missed these white couches, if I'm gonna be honest. They're as comfy as they seem."
"So you and the other guys just got back to the States from opening up for Justin on his world tour, right?"
"Yeah, we literally got back two days ago. I honestly feel like the jet lag is gonna stay with me for a few more days... or weeks."
"What is that like? I mean 'Elements' has been in the music industry for over a year now. And for more than half of that year, you were traveling and opening for one of the world's biggest popstar."
"Oh god, it honestly doesn't even feel like over a year. I mean Cole, Shane, Payton, Brian, and I have been making music for the longest time being 'Mystery Elements' and yeah, we got to open for Justin Bieber. It honestly is so surreal, like I literally had to pinch myself a few times to see if I was actually dreaming. One time, I had Brian hit me to make sure I wasn't dreaming."
"Hahaha you mean you like actually hit you?"
"Yeah, like full on punched. He really didn't mean for it to be as hard as it was but I was bothering him to do it and out of frustration he just punched my arm. I actually had a mini bruise there too. He felt so bad but we laughed it off like 5 seconds after it happened."
"Wow, you guys must get into a lot of fights. What is it like being in a group full a guys?"
"It's estrogen over load, let me tell you. Wait estrogen is for girls. What's to the one for guys?"
"You mean testosterone?" This got Ellen and the crowd laughing their asses off.
"Yeah that, testosterone. It was an overload of that. I mean, there were females dancer from Justin's crew but still. And fights did happen, like all the damn time. And me, being the tomboy I am, fought back with the boys. It was crazy, but it was also fun. The guys and I had a phenomenal time touring the different states and countries and got the chance to meet some amazing people and see some amazing places."
"Speaking of which, it seemed that you got paired up with a few people while you were on tour."
"Oh my God, tell me about it. I mean, I was paired up with both Brian and Payton. I even got paired up with Justin a few times. And one of his dancers."
"Yeah, and you posted about the dancer, Mike was it?"
"Yeah, Mike. He is such a sweet guy and I just so happen to connect with him more than any of the other dancers. Everyone on the tour, like behind the scenes people, could clearly see that. And it was obvious that we didn't have any romantic type feelings toward each other what so ever. And you know what....Wait sorry I was about to go on a rant."
"No, please, I really want to hear what you have to say. You seem to get really heated about this topic."
"Oh I do. It really just grinds my gear that a guy and a girl can't just be friends without speculations of them having feelings for each other. Like why is that such a thing? Is it just some impossible, unnatural thing for a guy and a girl to be friends? No, of course not. But apparently it is. And it happens a lot with teen stars. You see it like everyday, that so and so might be dating so and so just because they were seen together or just seen entering the same 100 story building. Like, no. Cut the crap. Stuff like that can honestly ruin friendships between people and it sucks. When the speculation of Justin and I dating went around, Justin and I literally had to stay away from each other for a few days and it sucked. Justin is a sweet guy and an awesome one to be around. But because of a speculation, we had to put our friendship on hold until it died down, and it truly sucks. I've even seen rumors start because of a guy and girl hugged each other. And it doesn't even have to be a guy and girl. It could be a girl with a girl or a guy with a guy. To be honest, I'm surprised I've hadn't been paired with a girl since I mean, I kind of am going out with one. But anyway, it's dumb and annoying and I'm sorry for going on a 90 minute rant."
"No, it's okay. I honestly agree with everything you have said. I have been through it. When I was single and while I was dating, engaged, and married to Portia. It was hard because either I had to stop just being friendly with the person or just stop contact with them in general. You're not the only one. Now we are going to be going on a break and when we get back, Y/n is going to talk about an even more serious situation."
The camera signals that they have stopped recording. Ellen turns to me and we continue talking about my rant, which I have said that I was sorry for going overboard with it. Ellen reassured that I didn't and that it was much needed for me to say. Ellen changes the topic by talking about what we are going to talk about next. She asked if there were anything to not ask. I told her that I want to be true to everyone and myself and that I will say as much as I can. I also told her not to push or force an answer out of me and she greatly respected my request. The producer signals they we were going back in just a minute. Ellen and I get ready and I mentally prepare myself.
"Welcome back guys. We are still with Y/n. Now you said that you want to clear up the air about what happened to you two nights ago."
"Um yeah, well, I'm sure it's no secret that I was charged with being under the influence and possession of marijuana. And that I ran from the cops, but stop a few seconds after running and complied with everything the cops told me. And well, that really what happened."
"Would you like to elaborate? Why were you smoking marijuana that night?"
I take a second to figure out what to say and how to say it. I didn't want to say anything about the fight between Lauren and I , wanting to stir clear from it becoming something it isn't because of press. I sigh. "I'm just gonna come out and say it. I have had some trouble with the drug in the past. Not like being caught by the police with it, but I was and I guess, still am addicted to Marijuana. Granted, it is hard to really be addicted to it but there was a point in my life where I would be smoking 3-4 times a day, everyday. I was high basically 24/7 and for going through that at the age I was, it wasn't healthy. Um, I started at a very young age, and have been smoking ever since. I have quit and became sober for almost three years, but then something in my life happened and I ended up resorting back to the drug. I rarely smoke it but lately and during the tour, I have been smoking it more than usual."
"What do you mean more than usual?"
"There were times where I showed up high to meet and greets, interviews, and I even got high before one or two shows. I resorted to the drug to replace the other prescribed medications I usually take. Things have gotten out of hand lately and I have actually been thinking about going back to rehab for it. Or at least get some type of help."
"If you do go back to rehab, what does this mean to 'Elements?'"
"Well, the guys and I talked about this. We had a meaning with just us five and a meeting with our manager, Simon, and L.A. Much to my disagreement, the guys want to care about my health and are making that come first before anything. Even if that means, 'Elements' takes a break."
"Now you said 'much to your disagreement.' I'm guessing that what the guys said was not something you want."
"To be honest, yeah, I didn't want that. We worked hard to be where we are and I didn't want my problems to disrupt that. So we made a deal with each other that complies with everyone's needs. It was basically the four guys, our manager, Simon, and L.A. against me. But I wasn't going to let what we built come crumbling down so quickly. I would never forgive myself if that happened."
"What caused you to smoke that night you were arrested?"
"Um, something. Something happened. I don't really want to talk about it if that's ok with you."
"No, of course. You don't have to share what you don't want to. You have already shared so much and I want to say that you are brave for doing so."
"Thank you, I really appreciate it. Now can we end this on a lighter note?" I ask smiling?
"Of course we can! The last time Y/n was here with her fellow members, she mentioned how much she loved the Ellen Dance Dare."
"Yeah, when my friends and I used to think we were top dogs and hung out at the mall, my friends would tell me to do the Ellen Dance Dare to people. My friends and I had a blast doing it."
"Well, I'm you enjoyed it! And because of that, The Ellen Dance Dare has come back!! Earlier today, Y/n and Twitch had a challenge to see how can get the most people around the building. Check out a clip of it and make sure you watch the whole thing on our Youtube channel. After the break, Y/n here is going to be joining up and coming artist Joel Adams in his hit single 'Please Don't Go.' " As soon as commercial hits, I head backstage and talk to Joel.
"Hey, it's really a pleasure that you asked me to join you on stage." I say once I greeted him.
"It's no problem. I was really nervous about asking you actually. I didn't think you would say yes."
"Of course I would say yes. I absolutely love this song and dude, and your eyes are fucking gorgeous!"
"Thank you. So are you ready to kill it?"
"Only if you are."
Joel heads to his piano while the other musicians get to their instrument. I wait backstage with my mic in hand, waiting for my part. Joel looks back at me and flashes a smile and thumbs up. I laugh to myself but replicate the silent signal. Ellen introduces us and the music begins.
(Joel)
Hmmmm
Nobody ever knows
Nobody ever sees
I left my soul
Back there now I'm too weak
Most nights I pray for you to come home
Praying to the Lord
Praying for my soul
Now please don't go
Most nights I hardly sleep when I'm alone
Now please don't go, oh no
I think of you whenever I'm alone
So please don't go
Hmmmm
(Y/n) I walk out into view and stand next to the piano, on the opposite side of Joel
Cause I don't ever want to know
Don't ever want to see things change
Cause when I'm living on my own
I'll wanna take it back and start again
Most nights I pray for you to come home
Praying to the Lord
Praying for my soul
(Both)
Now please don't go
(Joel)
Most nights I hardly sleep when I'm alone
Now please don't go, oh no
(Y/n)
I think of you whenever I'm alone
(Both)
So please don't go
(Y/n)
I send so many messages you don't reply!
I gotta figure out what am I missing babe!
(Joel)
Singing now
And I need you now, I need your love!
(Both)
Now please don't go
(Joel)
Most nights I hardly sleep when I'm alone
Now please don't go, oh no
(Y/n)
I think of you whenever I'm alone
So Please Don't
(Both)
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
I think of you whenever I'm alone
So please don't go
Hmmmm
I head back to my room once Ellen was done talking to us in front of the camera. I chilled on the couch with Lucas in the room. He commended me for the interview as well as the song. We were talking about the upcoming event for myself, in regards to the whole incident, and for 'Elements' when there was a knock on the door. I yelled 'come in' and Joel emerged from behind the door.
"Hey, Y/n. Hey Lucas. Um, I was wondering if you would like to join me for a late lunch in a bit, Y/n."
I look at Lucas just to confirm that I am free for the rest of the day and he nods his head. "Yeah, sure I'll join ya. Do you have a place in mind?"
"Well, I'm still new to this area so no. I was wondering if you knew any good places?"
"Of course I do! Just give me 10 minutes and I'll come get you at your room. I just need to talk to Lucas before I leave."
"No, yeah, of course. Just get me when you're ready." I nod and Joel leave.
I turn to Lucas and we continue our conversation from earlier. He said that we have a few interviews and wanted to know if I was fine with the interviewer asking me about my past. I told him no. I didn't want to talk about that, mainly because I didn't want to be the focus of the interview while I have my boys with me. I also didn't want most of the interview to be about that, since I get the feeling that it probably would. Lucas then gets onto the conversation about Lauren. He knew what happened earlier the same day I got arrested.
Lauren has been trying to contact me. Calling me and leaving me voicemails every single time. She would text me once in a while, not bombarding me with them, which I actually appreciate. I can hear how broken hearted she is through her voicemails. It hurts me but she hurt me and I need some time. Some time for what? I honestly don't know. I just need time. The other girls have been calling me as well.
Ally was the first to call. I'm guessing right after she heard the news of my arrest. I didn't answer her the first few times she called. I thought that she was just calling to get me to talk to Lauren or it was actually Lauren calling from Ally's phone. I ended up calling Ally back after she sent me a text saying she was concerned and just wanted to talk. She even said that she wouldn't bring up Lauren. I took the chance and Ally kept true to her word. However, after the call, the next few texts were her trying to get me to talk to Lauren. Along with the other three girls in the group. My heart was just so broken still, that I could muster up the strength to talk to Lauren.
Lucas and I said our good byes. I got Joel and drove us to the beach. We ate at one of the food places along the boardwalk. I got stopped a few times by fans asking for pictures and an autograph. Even Joel got stopped. He was so surprised that a few people actually recognized him in the U.S. His smile was so bright and seeing him interact with not only his fans but mine was while, was actually refreshing. Seeing him interact with the fans was like how I was when people started coming up to me for the first time. Surprised features, excited and bright smiles, a giant hug to each person, and an enthusiasm voice when talking to every single person.
Over lunch, Joel and I really got to know each other. To his favorite color to his outlook of America, this guy has a very open-minded and creative mind. He writes his own music, along with his own beats. He tells me he loves America but Australia will always have his heart.
Joel and I decide to walk the boardwalk again since it is super nice out and the sun was still shining. And once again, fans kept coming up to us. And once again, Joel was super excited and surprised when fans recognized him. Along with the fans, came pictures. And with pictures, came paparazzi. As Joel and I would walk, I would point out paparazzi hiding from being spotted by us, but they weren't that slick. For a few of the ones I pointed out, we went up to them and posed for them. We made it a great time.
Eventually, I had to go back home, knowing the guys would be worried, even though they knew where I was and who I was with. I invited Joel back to my place, to continue hanging out but with the guys as well. I figured that Joel didn't have many friends in the U.S. so why not introduce him to some people. I had a feeling he would fit in with the guys and I was right. The guys, Joel, and I ended up having a sunset fire. Sitting around the fire pit, watching the sun disappear, all while jamming out. Our jamming out caused us to end up in the studio, where we currently are.
As we figure out beats and lyrics for two songs, my phone starts blowing up with photos of Joel and I and the speculation of him and I dating. God, I can't get a break can I? I show him and he just laughs. I like this kid's spirit about things. We take a selfie and post it on instagrams. I post it first with the caption: Wait... we're dating now???? And he posted with the caption: Since when did I ask her out????
Immediately and as expected, both our phones blow up. We laugh at some of the fans reactions. What amazes me is that he is not fazed by the hateful comments and makes a joke out of them.
It's was getting closer to midnight and Joel had to leave with promises of coming back to finish these two tracks. Joel's car is waiting for him up front and I take the courtesy of walking him out since he technically is my guest. In a heated conversation about aliens, we reach the top of the basement stairs. I stop dead in my tracks once I see who's there.... Fifth Harmony.
I haven't seen any of the girls in what felt like years. I miss them dearly. Even Lauren. I still love her but she broke my heart. She broke it and ripped it into pieces.
"Hey guys. I'm just gonna walk Joel out to his car and I'll be back in." I finally get out once I gained my composure.
"Are you gonna be good in there?" Joel ask once I closed the door.
"I have no idea." I sigh.
"You do know you have to talk to her eventually. She technically is still your girlfriend. You two haven't officially broken up."
"I know, I know. And I don't think I have the heart to. I love her so much but she broke my heart."
"I looked at Lauren. She had hopefully eyes that were also full of sorrow. It's obvious she has been crying."
"I've noticed too."
"So talk to her and listen to what she has to say. Listen to her full story, her reasoning. Then decipher what to do next."
He was right. I need to hear her out, bring some type of peace to this mess we are in. I hug Joel goodbye, saying see you later. I didn't walk back inside until I could no longer see the car. Once inside, Keith tells me the girls might be getting stalked again, but it could also be a scare. These things happen all the time. So the girls will be under our watch again for at least a month, if not two. Just for safety precautions.
I could feel her eyes burning through my soul while Keith was talking to me. I knew she wanted to say something. And I knew I had to listen to her. When Keith retired for the night, the members of the girl group I still highly admire, chat it up, filling me in on what has happened since I last saw them. I sat away from Lauren though, sitting next to Ally. I know the girls know about what happened between us. I mean, I did just constant texts and calls and voicemail from each girl, most coming from Lauren.
As the girls were about to clock in for the night, I managed to get Lauren alone. She looked at me like a lost and scared puppy. Unsure of what to do, what to say. I still have yet to say anything either. My brain just couldn't muster any word to say. So instead, I grabbed her hand gently. I led her outside and onto the beach. I let go of her hand and sit in a spot just a few yards away from the water. Lauren eventually sits down next to me. She doesn't touch me or anything, leaving a foot of space between us. Too much for my liking.
"I won't bite you know. You don't have to sit that far away from me." She doesn't say a word, but moves closer towards me. We continue to stare out into the ocean. At least I do because I could feel Lauren staring at me from time to time.
"I've always loved the beach. It's so relaxing here, so refreshing." She still doesn't say anything. I sigh. "That night we fought," I looked at her for the first time since being outside, "Did your dad or mom stay with you the whole night?"
She turns to look at me with confused eyes. This is the first time we've created eye contact. "Yeah, my dad did. How did you know?"
I look away from her and looked back out into sea. "Good." I say ignoring her question.
"Why do you ask?" I can still feel her stare right on me.
"Before I left, your parents stopped me. I told them to never leave your side. You needed someone that night. Someone to comfort you. And I couldn't be that someone. So I made you parents promise to stay by your side."
I feel her gaze no longer on me, probably thinking deeply. "Don't think too much into it. It was just a simple promise that your dad kept. I have to thank him."
"That night, you went to the beach. No one was by your side. No one was there to comfort you. And you ended up getting arrested." Lauren says whispering her last sentence.
"That was my fault. I shouldn't of been smoking out in public like that. I should of been thinking smarter and I let my guard down."
"That's not the point Y/n. The point is you were alone that night. You told my dad not to leave me alone. You still cared for me even after what happen."
"You broke my heart Lauren." I say looking right into her eyes. "But that doesn't mean I won't stop caring for you." I can feel the tears on the brim of my eyes wanting to escape, but I try so hard not to let it. I look away just incase any tears did fall, not wanting Lauren to see.
"Y/n. Y/n, please look at me." I didn't so Lauren grabs me face and directs it to look at hers. "I'm sorry. God, I'm so fucking sorry. I don't know why I did it. Maybe I was lonely, maybe I missed you and couldn't take the long distance, but that doesn't give me the right to do what I did to you. God, if that night never happened, you wouldn't of gotten arrested and into the whole mess you are in now. You wouldn't have to be going through interviews explaining yourself. Telling people your past, that is hard for you to talk about. God, I'm so selfish. So stupid."
I grab both sides of Lauren's face to distract her from those negative thoughts. "Lauren stop, look at me. Don't blame yourself. Please don't do that. Everything that happened is my fault."
"But"
"But no. I don't want to hear it. I am taking the responsibility and the blame. Not you. It's not something you deserve."
"It's not something you deserve either. Why are you so good to me?"
"Because I love you. I love you even after you shattered my heart. I tried to hate you, tried to forget you. But everything around me, reminded so much of you. I couldn't listen to fucking music at one point because it reminded me of you. Looking at grass reminds me of you. Because grass is green and so are you eyes. And your eyes can never escape my mind."
Lauren leans in to kiss me. I lean in, no longer having the strength not to. The kiss was deep and passionate, but it felt off. I pull away slightly, only having our foreheads took.
"I'm sorry. I don't know if I can do this." I whisper.
"Please. Y/n don't do this."
"I don't want to. But I need to. I love you Lauren, with all my heart, but. I don't think I can do this right now."
By now Lauren is sobbing. I am trying so hard to keep my composure, only letting a few tears slip out of my eyes. I couldn't resist and pull her into me, comforting her. She needs someone, and for right now, I have to be that someone. I want to be that someone.
We stay on the beach for what seems like forever. Everything is still. Everything except the ocean. The waves crashes into the sand over and over again. Lauren's breathing eventually gets slower and deeper until I realize she's now asleep. I remain unmoved, staying in the same position for what seemed like hours. It could really just be seconds but I couldn't tell.
I carry Lauren back inside. I bring her to my room, not wanting to bring her to where the other four girls were so we wouldn't disturb them. I pull the sheets over her body and give her a kiss on the forehead. I go into my closet and change into my workout clothes. It's late but too early to do my usual workout routine. Before exiting my room, I take one look at Lauren. She seemed so peaceful. I like it when she sleeps, for she is so beautiful yet so unaware of it.
I take a spot on the couch in the living room, making it my bed for the night. I look at the clock, 4:19am. I have about two hours until I do my morning workout. I turn on the tv, set an alarm, and wait for my body to fall asleep.
If anyone can spot the The 1975 reference, I will love you. And if you don't, I will still love you..... but a little less.....