Addilyn was most certainly not a daft old lady. She had worked hard to earn her life and had faced the brutal cyclone that would follow the road she travelled. Addilyn was tough but Milena Seble proved to be the strongest of all cyclones. It had made her waver at the thought of death, cry when she thought she was strong and made the walls that she had built in her mind come crumbling down.
So, when her eyes fluttered closed for the hundredth time that night, she was hesitant to give in to her body's desire. She forced her weary body to stand from the uncomfortable casino chair while the soft snores of her fellow gamblers echoed in the seemingly empty room. While their young bodies were able to cope with the long night with a lack of decent sleep, Addilyn felt as though her lungs had a layer of dust coating the linings and every breath she took was raspy with age and fatigue. If it weren't for the makeup then one would be able to see the shadows beginning to form under her beautiful young eyes that were still marked from her tears.
As a lady who was set in her ways, the Milena Seble was a place where she would be forced reminisce her life. For ten years, Addilyn would wander outside of her cream coloured mansion at precisely nine o'clock to collect her daily mail under the watchful eye of the rising sun. Her grandfather clock would chime like a bell-tower as she went outside as it thrummed to each of her slight steps. That was the boring life of Addilyn that repeated every day as if it were a clock itself.
Of course, Addilyn had once lived a glamorous life as she travelled with models, fell in love and was even as lucky as to bear a child. However, she felt the age of her body tonight. For once she felt old. She could feel the wrinkles on her skin and could feel her heart beating ever so slightly in her chest and she felt the iciness of the room seeping into her frail bones as if there were a thousand ghosts trying to take over her body.
Addilyn could feel death. As she followed her instincts to an unnoticed door she felt the ghost of her past following her with each of her silent steps. She wandered into the dark and empty room knowing that it would probably hold another card game but instead she was met with a beautiful navy curtain that was framed in glowing light from the outside. She thought it might have been morning, since her body was so tired, however as she drew the curtains she found herself staring out into the artificial city lights that were glimmering in the sheets of rain. She felt as though she was looking outside for the first time and part of her longed to feel the icy rain for one last time.
Even on the brink of death there is something to do for the first time, Addilyn thought as she pressed her hand against the glass and drawing in a sharp breath as her cool hand was met by an even colder surface. The barrier between her world and the real world had never been so obvious to her. Nevertheless, Addilyn was captivated by the small street as cars flew by without even glancing at her defeated face staring out. The lights lit up her face momentarily with each car splashing by before casting her back into the valley of shadows that she was trapped in.
From a young age, Addilyn had been lured from her small hometown into the glamorous lights of the city. She left behind the bonfires and her family in order to create a more interesting lifestyle. It wasn't easy to do this, or at least that's how Addilyn recalled it. She had to sneak around the back, hiding in the shadows and working her name until Lyn landed right in front of the modelling agent who immediately took her on.
Lyn, as she was called in her younger years, quickly fell in love with such a busy life. As her career flourished like a nurtured flower her family disappeared until they were simply faceless people who she referred to as part of her old life. She partied all night, drunk until she could barely remember the afternoon and danced with boys who swooned at her feet. She led a life of immoralities that she frankly couldn't care less about. She travelled to New York City, Miami Beach, Los Angeles and even circled around Las Vegas a few times as she followed her modelling career liked a dog chasing its tail.
Looking out onto the crisp streets that were doused in a sprinkling of rain that reflected the city lights Addilyn could feel her old life resurfacing. Her sinful life where she slept with anyone who fell at her feet in love and drank like it was her last day on Earth was flashing before her in the transparent glass.
Addilyn hadn't always been so reserved. Although she hated to admit it, Addilyn could still remember her first kiss with her husband. His soft lips which had immediately captivated her heart as she fell wildly in love with this mysterious man. They experienced heated arguments but fell back in love just as quickly as they began. Although she knew their relationship wasn't nearly perfect, she hated to say that Lyn had fallen head over heels for the ridiculous man. They had spent so long together – chasing their dreams and having a daughter who they could share their fun lives with. He showed Addilyn with spontaneous gifts until he eventually astounded her with his proposal. The material items that took Addilyn's heart right off the shelf. She was young and didn't know anything better than to accept his tokens and follow him wherever he took her. Of course, Addilyn was remembering the man who she had purposely forgotten: but despite being so far away from him, she now felt closer than ever.
She could feel his soft hands roaming her body and shivered. Addilyn took her hand away from the glass as if it would shake away her life that was evolving in front of her but her mind was already flicking through it as if it were an old photo album. Thoughtfully, Addilyn reached into her pocket and pulled out the single item. The golden band was decorated with engraved swirls that mirrored Egyptian embroidery until the markings eventually stopped at the shining sapphire that was surrounded by small diamonds. The ring was warm in her hands but as she slipped it on her finger it felt colder than the glass of the window.
The proposal was romantic. They were on a cruise together having a late night spa with the untainted night sky twinkling down on them like fairy lights. She was laughing as he pointed out constellations that were completely incorrect but Lyn believed every word he said. She remembered as he pulled out the velvet case with their bodies dripping with warm water as he knelt down-
Why would you keep such a thing? Addilyn fiercely pulled her engagement ring off and sat it on the table with a bang as the metal clashed with the oak wood.
She hated the feeling when she put on that ring. It was the string that attached her to him – the hater towards the hated. It connected her to the person who had ruined her life but at the same time made her the happiest girl alive.
Thirteen years later was her divorce. Their fairy tale lifestyle came crumbling in front of their eyes as she became consumed in her modelling career. They barely saw each other or their daughter. Addilyn came home when the pair had already fallen asleep and was leaving before they woke up.
"I invite you to all my shows!" Lyn shouted at her husband.
"I don't want to see you prancing around like a show-pony," he would scream back, "I want to move away to the countryside and let our daughter spend time with us together! Like a normal family!"
She remembered every time his voice rose her heart would shrink. Her eyes would well up with angry tears. When she finally got her daughter to come to one of her shows on her fifteenth birthday, he had shown up and stolen her away.
She had let it fall apart as soon as her daughter was lost. Addilyn let everything peel away from her – her career, her love, her friends and her money. The lure and glamour of fame often revealed itself to be nothing more than broken dreams and lies that resembled what was left of her life. Addilyn was one of the few people who now knew that the glamour was only evil in disguise and she knew that it had ruined her life.
Suddenly, the light flicked on and Addilyn's beautiful chocolate coloured eyes were hidden momentarily as she squinted. She expected to find someone at the door but she was alone, save for the briefcase that lay next to her ring.
She carefully pulled the note off the top and read it aloud in a raspy voice, "Would you rather leave the casino as the sole survivor but with the money you desperately need," her voice was barely a whisper, "Or leave the casino with all the remaining players alive but as poor as you were when you came in?"
She tried to open the briefcase, only to find it was locked but she had a feeling that she knew the contents. It could only be money. This was the ultimate prize she had been promised. This was the reason that she had agreed to play the cryptic game that had allowed her to get a taste of the tainted life that she had once led.
But was this really what she had wanted?
Addilyn could feel her body struggling to stay awake and knew that the Milena Seble would probably be the last casino that she would ever walk in. The note was asking more than it read. It wasn't just asking about the money – it was asking what she wanted to be.
Saviour or Devil.
Heaven or Hell.
Life or Death.
Ironic that I'm so close to all of them, Addilyn thought but the humour didn't show on her face.
Letting go of the money would make her a saviour, let her into heaven and give everyone life. But taking the money, although it would be the key to getting her daughter back, meant she would be just as bad as the Devil, she would go to Hell and she would bring Death upon innocent people.
For a moment, Addilyn closed her eyes but it wasn't to let her body fall asleep. She allowed an image to form in her mind. The girl's wavy blonde hair and her flawless skin that matched the sparkling red dress that Lyn had given her daughter for her fifteenth birthday. Her captivating dark coffee coloured eyes and her bright scarlet lips that matched her dress. In every way the girl was mirroring her mother and her father but there was something wrong. The girl's name was Sophia.
Sophia would be much older by now, Addilyn thought sombrely. The visage disappeared into a cloud of smoke until it completely diminished from her mind. The girl who was stolen was fifteen. Addilyn's daughter would be so much older by now. She would have a job and children but Addilyn knew nothing about her life.
The money could change all of that.
Addilyn could meet her grandchildren and take them out for ice cream. She could meet her daughter and laugh at pointless jokes. She could spoil them all with gifts and have them out for dinner. She wouldn't have to sell her house.
Addilyn had missed out on all these opportunities because of her husband. She had missed out on a whole part of her life that was supposed to make her feel whole again. Instead, she felt empty. Her life was an album of stupid mistakes and she wanted nothing more than to be given a chance to change it all before she took her last breaths.
You won't pull a trigger but you'll let those bastards do it for you?
It was quite ironic that she was so hesitant pulling the trigger earlier but with the hope of a better life she'd let other people die. The numb feeling that consumed her body whenever death was near didn't even surface in her mind which begged a single question. It was the question that was quietly waiting to be asked, the one that accompanied death. Death always had a question to ask. Addilyn was now waiting for it as she picked up the suitcase.
What would you do to get your daughter back? Death was echoing in her mind.
Addilyn didn't reply to Death, she knew better than to form a bridge between them especially when she knew her time was almost over. The long night and the stress had gnawed away at what little health she thought she had. Her fingers closed around the briefcase handle.
She wanted to believe herself to be innocent. Her heart was torn to pieces already and what was the point on redeeming herself by leaving the money if her life was already ruined?
She didn't believe in Heaven or Hell but Addilyn found herself questioning which one she wanted to go to. By walking away now and returning to the hall where all the young people slept harmlessly on the polished floor, she would be saved. She would be walking out of the river redeemed because she would have saved all the people.
But we're all here for the same reason, Addilyn contemplated.
Everyone had been offered money and Addilyn wasn't going to ignore the fact that someone else could be making the same decision now and contemplating her life. She hated being so powerless but she had been powerless since she lost her daughter.
I'd kill a thousand people to get my daughter back, Addilyn asserted to herself as she gripped the briefcase so hard that her knuckles turned white.
But she couldn't hear Death's laugh in her mind. That was her downfall. Her willingness to redeem herself only to fall back into the seemingly glamorous life that she could imagine she could have with her daughter. Sophia was evil in disguise and Sophia was the only thing on Earth that made her grip the handle and allowed her mind to think it was okay to sacrifice others.
Addilyn would not be delivering herself to Heaven or an easy death, not when she was on the doorstep to Hell.