One Year Later
Cole P.O.V
“Daddy?” I heard my daughter’s voice crackling through the baby monitor, followed by a whimper. I rolled out of bed, turning off the monitor so Sophie wouldn’t wake up. It was April 8th; one year since we’d spent a day and night in the hospital, waiting for my daughter to be born.
I walked blindly into my daughter’s room, the same soft yellow we’d painted it before she was born. The walls had more pictures on them now; from the day she was born to Christmas.
Ayden was standing up, grasping onto the white bars of her crib. Her green-blue eyes were wide, and brimming with silent tears. Her copper curls were flat on one side and sticking up on the other (mine were probably the same) and tangled to the extreme. She was not going to be happy when we had to brush them later on.
“Happy birthday princess,” I whispered, lifting her out of her crib and kissing her head.
“Daddy!” she cried and I shushed her. ‘Daddy’ had been her first word, ‘Momma’ her second and things like ‘cat’ and ‘dog’ and ‘yum’. Oh, and “Cass” and ‘Jay’. She used to call Cassie ‘Ca ca’ which drove her nuts –we thought it was hilarious- but she eventually got the hang of saying ‘Cass’. She was a smart little kid, and way to observant for her own good.
“Should we wake Mommy up, Ayden? Should we?” I bounced her up and down while she giggled and shrieked.
“You already did,” I turned to see Sophie leaning in the doorway, smiling at us. “Happy birthday, honey.” She kissed Ayden and then me “Breakfast?”
I nodded “I think Cassie and Jake are up, but I’m not sure.” We went down stairs, where Cassie was making pancakes and Jake was setting the table.
“Good morning, happy birthday Ayden.” Cassie said, giving her niece a kiss. She flipped a pancake and put a plate full on the table.
We all dug in (Cassie made the best pancakes), well, we did; Ayden got most of her pancakes on the floor. Sophie and I had to get to school; we both took courses at the community collage four days a week, and worked whenever we weren’t learning except on Saturdays.
“You’re going to be late if you don’t hurry,” Cassie said, taking our plates away.
“Okay,” Sophie said, grabbing her purse “Bye baby, be good for Auntie Cassie!” I kissed Ayden, whished her happy birthday again and ran out the door, wishing I could spend the day with my daughter instead of in a crowded hall. But I wished that every day.
Cassie P.O.V
“Alright Ayden, here’s Mr. Bunny and your rattle. I’m going to sort through this box, and we can listen to the Beatles.” For some strange reason, my little niece always behaved her very best when I played the Beatles. She was a weird one, that’s for sure.
She just smiled up at me with that adorable smile of hers and hugged her bunny. As All You Need Is Love played through the store, I tried to contain my excitement. There was a package in the bathroom that I was dying to test, but there was also a huge box of books that needed sorting. But…
“Finn, can you watch Ayden for a few minuets?”
“Sure Cassie, hi Ayden!” Finn blew a raspberry at my niece and winked at me as I ran up the stairs, bolting for the bathroom. I drank five big glasses of water and tore open eight of my purchases. I peed on eight sticks, and then waited for three minuets.
I was almost afraid to look. After less than a year of trying, could this be the month our dream would come true? Would Jake come home today with his wish fulfilled? One…two…three…
I opened my eyes.
Eight little pink plus signs.
I feel hot tears pour out of my eyes and a tingly feeling that is nothing but pleasant. I grab for my phone, trying to calm down. But I’m so excited, so full of this wonderful feeling I cant contain it inside of me.
“Jacob Levine, here.”
“Jake?” I sobbed into the phone, covering my mouth with my hand, trying to control my tears.
“Cass? Oh honey, it-it’s negative, isn’t it?”
“No Jake…I-I…”
“Cassie, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I cry “Oh Jake, I-I’m pregnant!”
“Really, Cass? Really?”
“Yes, really!” I say, wiping my eyes that still overflowed from my eyes.
“I’ll be there soon.” He hung up and I rested my head against the wall, blowing my nose, trying to compose myself. In fewer than ten minuets, Jake was suddenly there, still wearing the pressed shit and pants we wore to work.
He kneeled down on the floor in front of me, cupping my face in his hands. He was crying, and kissing me.
“Cassandra Ayden St. Clair, I love you so, so much.” He smiled at me, tears glistening in his eyes “We’re going to be parents, Cassie, parents.”
I laughed “We’re going to need a bigger apartment.”
He shrugged “We’ll figure something out.”
I kissed him “We’ll get by.”
Cole P.O.V
“Daddy!” Ayden lifted her arms up at me, flashing me the smile that always made do exactly what she wanted. Cassie scolded me often that I spoiled her.
“Hi Ayden, did you have a good day?” I lifted her up in the air and spun her around, her giggle filling the apartment.
“I thought you might be home,” Cassie said, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen. I hadn’t seen her smile so big since the day Ayden was born.
“Cassie, what’re you smiling about?” I asked, settling Ayden on my hip.
“Yeah Cass, you too Jake.” Sophie threw her keys onto the side table and kissed Ayden hello.
“Well…we have some news.”
“Some really exciting news,” Jake said, wrapping his arms around Cassie from behind.
Cassie wiped her eyes “I’m pregnant,”
Sophie screamed and hugged Cassie tightly “Oh my god! Are you serious?”
“Yes, yes I’m serious!” Cassie was crying, and as soon as she let Sophie go I gave her a one armed hug, Ayden screeching and clapping-even though she probably had no idea what was going on.
“Oh Cass,” I said “You deserve this, more than anyone.”
“Thank you, Cole, thank you so much.” Cassie took Ayden from my arms and swung her around. “You’re going to have a cousin!”
“Cousins,” said Jake, laughing and kissing Cassie right on the mouth. “We want more than one,”
“Promise?” Cassie asked, switching Ayden to her other hip.
“Promise,” he whispered.
Ayden shrieked and clapped her hands as Cassie nuzzled her neck, blowing air carefully in her ear. I smiled, picturing Cassie with her own little baby, her own daughter. Ayden had been an accident, something that nobody had planned. But now, none of us could picture our life without her.
I had spent my senior year of high school waiting for her to come; questioning if I was ready, wondering if I could handle being a seventeen-going-on-eighteen dad. If I could raise my kid as well as Cassie raised me.
When I looked at Ayden now, I new that if Cassie hadn’t believed in me and raised me so well when our parents died, I couldn’t have lived through the insults, the stares and the prejudice without her. She had stood by my side for my whole life, even when our parents were alive. She went to all my soccer games, helped me with my homework and gave ‘the talk’-twice.
Now she was starting her own family, and her future kids had the best mom in the world. I knew because she had been my mom, my parent, when she had just lost her own. I was the person-the father-I was today because of Cassie, because of what she did for me. My sister was my hero, and I will never be able to repay her for what she’s done for me.
When I see her now, holding my daughter, wrapped in the arms of her husband, I had never loved my sister more.
***
I loved watching my daughter sleep. I had ever since she was first born, and I held her for the first time. She had been so tiny, and had grown so much in the past year.
“Cole?” Cassie stood in the doorway, her straight copper coloured hair in a messy side braid and wearing a short house coat. Her green eyes –identical to mine- were bright and warm, just as they were all those times I needed to talk to her; from bullies to girls to becoming a father.
“Can you believe it?” she asked, crossing the small room and peering down into my daughters crib.
“No,” I whispered “I can’t.”
She laughed quietly “Nearly two years ago you were a scared seventeen year old who was terrified of telling me Sophie was pregnant. Now you’re eighteen, still terrified, with a beautiful one year old daughter.”
“How’d you know I was terrified?”
She raised her eyebrows “You think raising a baby is hard, Cole? Wait till she learns to walk, then has friends, then boyfriends.”
“Please, Cassie lets not think about all that until it comes. I want her to stay my baby a little while longer.”
She smiled “She’ll always be your baby, Cole, just like you’re Mom and dad’s baby, my baby brother.”
“Cass?” I looked over at my sister, the same wonderful woman who had reassured me nearly two years ago when I told her Sophie was pregnant “Do-do you wish Mom and dad hadn’t died?”
She didn’t look up, just continued to gaze at Ayden “Of course I do…but if they had lived, so much wouldn’t have happened; I wouldn’t have opened the shop, wouldn’t of met Jake, you wouldn’t of met Sophie…Ayden wouldn’t even exist.”
Never have met Sophie? Never have had Ayden? Life without either of them seemed so…impossible. And Cassie without Jake was like looking at a picture ripped in half; all these people, these relationships, problems, joys, would never have happened if my parents had lived.
“You’re right; I wouldn’t have moved schools, so I wouldn’t have met Sophie, which would mean she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant and…I wouldn’t be a dad.”
Cassie nodded “I wouldn’t be pregnant, or an aunt.”
“Life wouldn’t be the same, would it?”
She shook her head, “No, it wouldn’t.”
We were silent for a while, the only sound was Ayden’s little night noises, our breathing and the wind fighting against the windows.
“We did okay, didn’t we?” I asked, brushing a curl away from Ayden’s forehead.
Cassie smiled “We got by alright, but the journey isn’t over yet.”
I smiled back “It sure isn’t,”