A\N Hello! This is the first chapter that I have written in a year so feel free to give me as much feedback as you can!
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"She needs to stop pouting. It's annoying." Adam calls out as we sit down on the rocks. His voice is drowned by the waterfall. Nicole still didn't get over the fact that Adam became friends with their bully of many years- even though they have been friends before.
"That's what happens when you hide a secret like that from your flipping twin." I scowl. While the other boys and Sasha were getting ready to do some cliff jumping- I was left to babysit fussy #1, and fussy #2. Fussy #1 being Nicole, who is sitting down with her earphones and a pout on her face. Apparently, they don't trust them on the cliff together out of fear of one of them you know...dying. Just accidentally. Totally by accident.
"Oh, come on, I'm 18. I don't have to tell her everything."
"You don't, but be ready for this kind of a reaction."
Why do I have to babysit them? I want to jump off a cliff, as masochistic as that sounds, especially in October. Going camping in October was a stupid idea in the first place but now they are going to swim? I don't think they are aware that we are in Canada.
"But don't you understand? I'm an 18 year old ma-" An inhumanly groan escaped Nicole interrupting Adam. Sounds like she ate a walrus- or just go sick of a very whiny twin brother who apparently doesn't understand that he actually hurt his sister. I mean come on- they are twins. He should have told her all this information a long time ago and not accidentally blurt it out.
Let's be honest though, even if he had told Nicole while everything was happening, her reaction wouldn't be any different. She knows what Adam has been through because of Shelby, Nicole's trust towards that girl is broken and it will take a lot more than an apology to mend it. But stepping back and letting her twin brother make a decision for himself is also not a bad idea, they can't be attached at the hip their whole life.
It's clear that Nicole's confidence in their relationship took a huge hit, she is not used to her brother doing his own thing. Beside him keeping his girlfriend a secret, he also never shared his thoughts on his orientation with Nicole, she might be hurt by that but most people would understand that it's an incredibly personal subject and he is not obligated to share his thoughts.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore, Adam." Nicole huffs. I see the irritation on her face, she needs time to cool down without her brother breathing down her neck. Any other time she would probably seek comfort from her brother but perhaps is 'betrayal' caused her to feel a little cold towards him.
Disappointment flashes in Adams' eyes, "Nicole, you're my sister. We have to talk about this sooner or later."
She stands up and wipes hands on her jeans before holding out a hand to me. "I prefer later. Let's go, Scarlet, I have to pee."
We all know she doesn't need to go to the bathroom, she is just trying to get away and have a moment for herself. I roll my eyes but get up anyway. Nicole needs to settle down, figure out how to act next and get a chance to think things through without our influence.
"Nicole, you have to be careful if you guys are going in there yourself. Be careful please." Adam seems reluctant to let us go but doesn't say anything else and watches us walk deeper into the forest.
As soon as we are out of earshot, Nicole speaks up beside me "Do you think I'm being irrational? I mean, like, it's his life, he should do whatever he wants."
To be completely honest, I'm not sure what to tell her. I've never been in this kind of a situation and in my point of view, both of them are in the wrong. One of them kept a secret for a tad too long while the other one can't seem to sympathize with her brother. Not only do I not have an answer to her question, but I also seem to be a little on the edge as I feel my temperature rising and breathing quicken.
The twin fiasco might have distracted me from my own emotions for a little bit but now that we are out and about I feel the irritation from earlier events creep back to my skin. My relationship with anger is complicated. With anger, I'm tense, ready to for the second it will overflow into a mess for me to clean up later. But without it, I anticipate the moment that it comes back, the moment when the little piece of calm I'm blessed with will leave me to face the darkest part of me.
I cannot allow it to get to me right now. Nicole needs me so as much as I want to push anyone who gets too close to me off a cliff- that would be incredibly rude of me.
Her voice rings out somewhere in the background, perhaps I should pay a little more attention. "Babe, are you even listening to me?" Nevermind, maybe pushing her off a cliff isn't such a bad Idea.
"Yeah, sorry. I don't know. To be honest, I think both of you are making it into a much bigger deal than it has to be. It's not like he asked her to marry him."
Nicole scoffs at me, shaking her head. "It's funny."
"What is?" I ask. I don't see how the topic is amusing. Well, nothing is quite amusing to me at the moment. I'm too focused on keeping my behavior in check.
"It's just that, you were making a big deal out of Hunters approaches too. The boy was just trying to show you how he felt. So I guess there really is two points of view to each story."
Just trying to show me how he felt? I was very well aware of how he felt. Especially when he stalked me to the bathroom, held me against a wall, practically kidnapped me and then indirectly caused a panic attack. I did get a cool haircut and a semi-boyfriend out of the whole ordeal so I guess it worked out.
I saw Hunter in a different light with each action but now, that I no longer feel in danger with him -in fact maybe I feel a little too comfortable- I can feel myself slowly slipping and starting to like him. A lot. He liked that I was a challenge, and I like that he is a fighter. He knows what he wants, works hard for it, and gets it. That's an incredibly attractive quality that definitely helped me get over our rocky beginning.
Of course, Nicole doesn't know anything so I let her comment slide and just ignore what she said. She senses that I'm not in the best mood and just lets it go.
"Nicole, we are lost. " I say after a moment, noticing that we have been walking around aimlessly and forgot our destination. The trees around us incredibly tall and the small path that we initially walked on to get to the portapotties eventually turned into dirt and rocks without us noticing the transition.
She shakes her head at me, seeming confident that she knows where we are. "No, we just have to walk this way."
"Are you sure?" I ask again, "I'm 100% sure we are lost."
"Stop being grumpy. You are getting stressed out and that stresses me out." She looks around again, no longer confident.
"Honesty Nicole, I don't give a crap. Let's go this way, we have to figure out how to get back." I don't know how long we have been walking, and since Nicole didn't really need to go to the bathroom we got too distracted and didn't pay attention to where we walked.
It's Canada for Christ's sake. The forests here are huge.
"We'll be fine Scarlet. Calm down."
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We were not fine and I wasn't calm.
It's been probably half an hour now since we left. We are going to die out here, it's official. Besides the stress of finding our way back, Nicole seems to be in a mood to talk a lot right now. Which is getting quite problematic considering talking is the last thing I want to do. I try to focus on the things around us, anything to distract me from Nicole and maybe give us an idea of where we are or how to get back.
It wasn't working.
"I'm just nervous. Can you understand that Scarlet? He is my brother and that girl hurt us for so years and now she's back? I don't think he should jump at the opportunity to be with her. He is probably still confused and just needs to figure himself out." She rambled. I understand everything she is saying but she has been repeating herself for 30 minutes completely ignoring how anxious I was getting.
"Nicole, please. Focus," I'm begging now.
"Chill. We'll be fine. Where do you think your prince charming is? Shouldn't he be like guarding you or something."
"He's on a bathroom break." I manage to say behind clenched teeth.
"Scarlet you need to calm down. Worse case scenario they'll have to search for us." She tries to reassure me. Yeah, if I don't kill you first.
"Besides, what's the deal with you anyway. You're usually so chill and ready to fight someone." Oh, honey, I am.
I force myself to tear my gaze from the ground and meet her eyes. "I would stop talking if I was you." I need to get myself together. If talking is hard for me right now I can't imagine that I'm emotionally fit to find the cliff.
"You don't have to pretend to be mean around me, Scarlet. I get it you know, aggression is like your defense mechanism or something. I do the same thing. Did you have a bad childhood or something? I know I did-"
I don't listen to her finish talking, instead, I try to get my hands to stop shaking. My fingers itch to shut her up, I don't know what I would do if she steps even a centimeter closer to the line that will cause me to crack.
I need to breathe. I imagine myself in a room, an empty room with nothing in it except a loud speaker playing songs with beats that vibrate through my blood, replacing the rage. I can practically hear it. I focus on it and try to let Nicole's words get drowned out further away from me. The beat is fast, I think of the words that I would hear. For a second, I wonder if I went mad- Hearing music in my head as someone speaks to me.
But then, my safe haven inside my head slips and I catch what she is saying once again. "Maybe if you try drinking tea before bed? I heard-"
I zone her out again.
Focus on your breathing Scarlet, focus on the beat. Forget where you are. I'm not there. I'm in an Empty room with loud music. I'm not there. My mother is looking down at me with her fists by her sides ready to teach me discipline. I'm not there. The beat is loud, my hair is bouncing as I jump up and down. I'm not there. Blood is dripping from my lip, dad is holding her back, my cries mix with her screaming. I'm not there. I fall down, the music is loud, my head pounds. I'm not there. Dad is downstairs convincing her to love her children, convincing her to stay and get help. She shakes her head, 'I'm fine', there is nothing wrong with her, we are the problem- I am the problem.
I'm not there. I don't see my fist colliding with Nicole's face, but I feel it. I sure hope she did too.
I'm not there. The music stopped, breathing is hard all of the sudden, my knuckles sting.
I look down and see the damage I caused. Nicole is on the ground staring up at me in shock, my hands shake and I bring them behind me in shock of what I did.
"You little hoe."
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A\N So....what did you think? Any questions\comments\concerns?
Where do you see this story going next?
What do you want to see?
Hope you enjoyed:) Bye bye!
-Sasha