Edited - 7/28/19
Luke
It's been three days since Calum and I went to Starbucks and had that very emotional conversation in my car. We were supposed to go somewhere else that day, but I just wasn't up for it and neither was he. I just dropped him off at his condo and then drove home.
I've been going to my shoots for the current movie I've been asked to work on. They began even before Calum and I started this whole fake-dating thing and now there's only a few days left for shooting. Because I'll have more free time, my agent has been trying to book me more jobs, be it acting or modeling.
The difference between agent and managers were kind of hard to distinguish for me at first, but basically my agent, Genevieve Carlson's, job is to find work and negotiate the terms of my contracts. Every schedule and appontment is then reminded to me by Courtney, my assistant. She's the one who usually comes on set or during photoshoots.
Genevieve and I don't really hang out or spend time together, unless she's telling me all about a new job. It's all professional. She has many other clients as well. We met with her this morning about a photoshoot she managed to get me part of. I accepted, signed the contract, and Courtney scheduled it in.
It was nearing the afternoon now, and I was on an elevator in Showbiz Management HQ currently on my way to Dave's office. I knew Calum, Michael and Ashton would already be there, and so will Patricia.
I had no idea what was going to happen, and frankly I wasn't too excited.
I opened the door to Dave's office and all eyes landed on me.
"Hey," I said, eyeing all of them. "Have you guys been waiting long?"
"No," Dave gave me a warm smile. "You're just in time." He gestured to the chair in front of his desk, Calum sat on the other one. Ashton and Michael were sat on the small couch, and Patricia was beside Dave.
I slowly sat down, unable to keep myself from looking at Calum. He was looking down, looking more nervous than me. Did he know what this meeting was about?
I averted my gaze towards the two managers. "What's this meeting for?"
"Well," It was Patricia who spoke up. "As you know, you two being together has been successful so far. Nobody is writing about Calum's tweet, unless they mention it with rumors of him dating you. And because you two are always mentioned in the news or in magazines, the sale of 5SOS' new album have skyrocketed and is currently topping charts, plus everybody is buzzing about your movie premiering."
I waited for her to continue, and she did so after taking a deep breath. "However, there is a certain matter we need to discuss."
"Which is?" I asked.
Patricia eyed Calum then looked back at me. "It's how Calum will come out and how you two will admit that you are dating one another."
"Okay, this is where we step in," I heard Ashton say. I shifted in my seat to take a look at them.
"Guys," Calum interjected from where he was seated beside me. "It's fine, you don't need to do this."
"No," Michael shook his head. "Calum is already going on dates with Luke. If you're going to force him to come out, then we're drawing the line."
Dave sighed. "Mr. Clifford, Mr. Irwin, please settle—"
"No!" Ashton raised his voice a little, cutting off Dave. "Sir, I don't care about the contract or whatever these two signed. Calum is our best friend, we will not just let you dictate something like this."
"Ashton, Michael, calm down." Patricia said, voice not raising one bit. "I know what you two are trying to say, and believe me I don't like this one bit—"
"I agree with them." I felt all eyes on me but I kept my gaze on Patricia and Dave. "Calum is a human being, he is not just a puppet. You can not force him to come out just to sell this facade. Dave, you let me come out as gay. That was my decision, and it is who I am. Don't you think forcing us to be dating for publicity is enough? You're already getting what you want!"
"Exactly! They already believe it!" Ashton piped up again.
Michael looked like he was about to snap anytime soon. "And it's Calum's decision, you can't dictate when he's ready to announce something this big."
Suddenly everybody was speaking up, and the words were getting mixed. I turned towards Calum, the only one not saying anything, and he was stuck looking at his lap.
"The deal!" My voice rose above the others, effectively silencing the room.
"What?" Patricia asked.
"The deal," I repeated. "You told me the day we signed the contract that you'd both agree to follow one of my requests, just as long as it's not about stopping this or telling anybody it's fake, right?"
"Yes." Dave nodded slowly, looking skeptical.
"I'm invoking that deal now," I said. "You can not force Calum to come out when he isn't ready, when it isn't his choice. His sexuality and when or how he shares it to other people is his to decide."
Silence, again. Patricia and Dave stared at each other, as if they were having a silent conversation about what I just said. Dave turned to me, still conflicted. It pissed me off.
I raised my eyebrows, expectant. "Do we have a deal or not?"
Both managers were taking turns looking at Calum and I, and it was clear they've made their minds up.
Before either of them could speak, I felt Calum's hand grab my own. The action itself wasn't as surprising as seeing him smile genuinely at me, like he just couldn't help himself.
He squeezed my hand before he finally spoke up. "Luke, save your request."
Michael and Ashton were already protesting, both males standing up and stepping until they were stood beside Calum. Calum rolled his eyes at them then squeezed my hand. "It won't be necessary."
"Cal, what are you—" Ashton tried to speak, but Calum spoke up once again.
"I've decided come out."
---
Michael and Ashton hugged Calum just as he announced that he decided he'd come out, and they all looked like they were going to burst into tears any moment. The two band members were asked by Patricia to leave so that she could talk with Calum and I in private. She basically told us when we could finally confirm that we were dating.
Patricia congratulated Calum, and so did Dave. Calum was a mess of nerves. Once the meeting was over, Calum and I walked together towards the elevator. He wasn't saying a word, simply looking down at his shoes.
The elevator doors opened, we both stepped inside. I clicked the button to the lobby, and the doors closed. We passed by two floors and Calum still wasn't talking.
We passed another floor. Still nothing.
By the time we passed the fifth floor I couldn't take it anymore. Before I could think my actions through, my arm extended and my finger pushed the emergency stop button.
The elevator halted, and the lights dimmed a bit. There was no alarm sound, just as I expected. I knew the alarm was a separate button.
"Gosh, Luke." Calum leaned against his side. "How cliché. If you wanted to make out with me, all you had to do was ask."
"I'm an actor, I like being dramatic. Don't get cocky." I scoffed. Calum actually chuckled a bit, finally turninh to look at me.
"When did you.." I trailed off, playing with my lip ring. Calum understood what I was trying to ask. He sat on the floor, taking a deep breath.
"If you're asking when I figured out I was bisexual, I think I've known for quite a while. Even before you and I kissed." Calum's legs were extended, arms on either side of him. "If you're asking when I decided to finally start coming out, it was just a few days ago."
I decided to sit down beside him, a few inches of space between us. I listened as he continued to talk. "I didn't even think about wanting to kiss Kayla at first, you know." Calum said, his eyes still looking into the distance. "She walked up to me and we just started talking. She was nice, asking why I looked sad. I decided to tell her about you."
"What did she say?" I mumbled.
"She figured out that I was in love with you," The side of his mouth tugged upwards, but it quickly disappeared again. "Then she asked if I was gay. I told her I wasn't sure. I've kissed girls in the past, but the only real kiss I had was with you."
It was taking me a minute to piece everything together. Calum could tell, so he just decided to explain. "Kayla offered. She said we could kiss so I could see if I actually liked kissing girls, and there would be no strings attached."
It was silent for a moment, my mind wrapping around the new information I was given. "You should've told me."
"I didn't think it mattered," He whispered back. "You were right, Luke. I loved you, and you loved me back. I guess I got what I deserved. You saw me, I hurt you, and everything got ruined."
"You still should've told me." I said stubbornly, bringing my knees up to my chest.
"I still made a mistake. I didn't think it was important. And, as if that would make a difference."
"I—" I felt my voice break. He had a point.
"Luke, you don't have to say anything. Really." Calum shot me a reassuring smile. "I was the one who told you at that restaurant that I never wanted to see you ever again. You were allowed to date whoever you wanted, we weren't together anymore. Besides, I'm the reason we never spoke after that."
"But you're right," I looked down. "I also shouldn't have kissed Matthew when things between you and me were still so complicated." I glanced at Calum, and he looked back at me. His eyes were getting watery, and his mouth would open slightly, then close again.
"Did," I cleared my throat. "Did you find out.. that you were bisexual because of the kiss with Kayla?"
"I was too distracted afterwards since I saw you," He mumbled. "But before I dated Leila I dated a few other women and I did enjoy, um—" Calum smiled skeptically at me. "This really isn't the time to bring those things up."
"No, it's alright." I said, and what's weird was that I meant it. "Have you ever slept with a guy then?"
He shook his head. "Just girls. Unfortunately."
We both laughed at that. "So you have not dated boys?" I asked.
"I was infatuated with.." He looked up, thinking for a moment. "Two boys, I think? Maybe three if you count waiters. I never dated one, nor kissed one before. Well, except you," Calum took a deep breath. "There were times I'd try to deny it, you know? That I wasn't attracted to men. I think even Ashton and Michael knew before I even started talking to them about it."
I nodded, understanding what he meant and feeling him turn towards me. "What about you?"
"What about me what?"
"Who was your first?"
"That boy I told you about," I replied, shaking my head at the memory of that jerk. "The one that leaked those pictures."
"You sleep with a guy for the first time and he leaks naked pictures of you?" Calum scoffed, pissed. "That's wrong on so many levels."
"Actually, I slept with him three times before he did that. We weren't dating though, it was more like a.."
"Booty call?" There was no trace of judgment in Calum's voice.
I couldn't help the snorting noise I just made. "Yeah, you could call it that." Discussing this with Calum was a lot less awkward than I thought. It wasn't uncomfortable at all.
"Did you at least sue the guy for taking and leaking those pictures without your consent?" Calum asked.
"Dave wanted to, I didn't. Probably because I was too horrified about it."
Calum kept quiet about that. After a moment, he chose to speak up again. "What you said at Dave's office," He mumbled. "I wanted to say thank you."
"You really don't need to thank me. I was just doing what was right."
"I thought you would have just let me deal with it," Calum confessed. "I thought you still hated me."
"I do still hate you." I grinned with my gaze in the ceiling of this elevator. "But, I guess I don't hate you that much."
Calum sat up a little straighter. "Luke," He exhaled. "I'm sorry. Really. I wish I could turn back time and undo every mistake I made."
I turned my head to look at him. "Mistakes help you learn, Calum. We both made mistakes."
"I hurt you."
"I hurt you too," I stated. In a moment's lapse of judgment, I placed my hand on top of his. His eyes went to my hand, but I continued. "Pain is just a part of life, I guess. It helps us grow." I let myself smile at him. "I forgive you, by the way."
Calum's eyes widened.
"Yeah," I nodded. "Although, that doesn't mean we're back to the way we were. I can't just yet. I need you to know that." I squeezed his hand.
Calum grinned, his teeth showing. "I understand. It's a start though, right?"
Did I really forgive him? Yes.
Did I trust him? Not yet.
Did I still feel hurt about what happened? Mostly just regret.
Were we back to the way we were? Not even close.
Will it still be slightly awkward and uncomfortable whenever we're together? Yes, I predict very much so. Thought that's probably mostly on my part.
But was this a start?
I nodded, smiling. "What do you say we get out of this elevator?"
"Yeah, we probably should. Wouldn't want that lady behind the desk who winks at you all the time to think she doesn't have a chance with you anymore."
We both burst out laughing.