“Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I'll set you apart”
-Coldplay
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Chapter 34
Zayn’s P O V
As soon as she said that she loved me, I was frozen. My mind went numb for few seconds. I just stared at her; she was an illusion, a complete illusion. I can’t think straight in front of her, and those words just fired me up. The way her eyes were closed when she said those words…the sincerity and passion in them was indescribable.
Her words made me think why I’m here with her….why? I lost my mind when I saw her there with Austin, that fucking asshole. I hate him…and when I saw her in his fucking shirt. I lost it, completely lost it. I've never lost my temper in public. But…but seeing her like that just makes me want to rip his head off. I insulted Faith…I fucking lost my mind. What was that? Why did I feel like that? Why do I want to kill Austin so bad? Just because he’s with her, with Faith, my Faith? Fuck no, she’s not mine. She could never be mine. Even if I wanted to. I wanted to? I never would want her…besides the sex, right?
This is so fucking confusing. When I got back to my car, I got back to my senses and thought. That’s when I realised that she could never do that. She’s being trapped.
When she finally left me to go to her new apartment...seeing her like that...broken…I felt something strange in my heart that I've never felt. Never with Perrie either. I want to run back to her…to stop her and kiss her senseless. But this confusion stops me. For her own sake I stopped myself. But this shit is confusing me.
I have more important things right now. Mostly Austin. My phone rang as I sat my glass of scotch back down. ”Hello,” I said as I know its Torres. “Mr. Malik, Austin told me everything after few punches.” I can see him smirking at his work. “Good…tell me the whole story." With that he told me the shit he was planning.
“What the fuck?” I said as I ended the call. Oh fuck. Austin is actually making me more impatient to murder him. Oh Faith….I felt terrible for saying all those things to her. I knew it would be something for someone else's sake that she’s doing it. But….but I didn't know it was for me and my family and my reputation she was doing it. She always put herself through this shit. Why, Faith, why? You make me more terrible which I already am. Why…oh shit.
I have to go there and apologize to her…Apologize? I've never apologized to anyone. But here we’re talking about Faith. Oh…my Faith. I miss her.
I have to go there now!
I make my way to my car without caring about anything. I never drive alone…it’s not safe but I don’t give a fuck right now. No one knows how miserable she must be right now. She must be crying; she always cries about little things…that’s one of the things I love about her. Wait, love? I’m going insane about this girl.
Fuck, it can’t be love…I can’t love anyone. I’m such a fucked up mess for that. Faith, you're driving me insane.
As I reached for my car door handle, I noticed I wasn't wearing an over-coat; I was in just my shirt and pants, and it’s fucking snowing out. I don’t care. I climbed into the car and drove as fast as I could.
I was growing impatient. She must be at home crying or sleeping. Fuck, she must be crying. Drive fast, Zayn….I chant. I'm never am like this…Fuck this girl is driving me insane.
As the building came into my view I instantly relaxed. I stopped at the main gate. Are you fucking kidding me?! I yelled inside my head. I could fucking rip the head off of this guard right now. As soon as I slid my window down he was caught off-guard. “Yes, now open the gate,” I said to him. He instantly pressed the button to let it open. I drove in front of building and climbed out of my car instantly.
I pressed the button of her floor. When the elevator stopped I got out and walked to her to ring the bell. But the door wasn’t locked. This girl never understood the word ‘security’. Never. I kicked it open, well I didn't actually want to kick it, but I was pissed. I raked my eyes at every direction. She was nowhere. “Faith?” I said in an empty room. I went to the kitchen, but no she wasn't there either.
“Faith!” I yelled this time. I was getting nervous. Where could she be? What if she decided to leave this place? Oh please no…she can’t. No. “Faith, where are you?” I yelled again. I went to her bedroom…no nothing. I’m looking for something when I my eyes caught the open door of bathroom. I sighed loudly; she must be inside. I went to the door “Faith, are you inside?” I said but no reply…Fuck it, I’m going inside. My patience was already wearing thin.
I stepped inside looking for her; where is she… ”Faith!” I rushed to the bathtub. No, please…it can’t be true. She’s sinking deep inside the tub, her skin pale and her blue dress making her look even paler. I take her out and place her in my arms, rushing outside. “No, Faith, please, no!” I can’t let this happen; she is so precious to me.
“Faith.” I placed her on her bed and shook her. “Faith.” No please. She can’t be dead; she can’t die. I checked her pulse to feeling that it was working but at a slow pace; I could barely feel it.
I took my phone out to dial Torres' number. “Go to the hospital…Yes, it's an emergency. It's Faith…Yes, I don’t want any delay…Yes, I’m bringing her. No, I’m fine.” I hung up. Taking her in my arms, I kissed her head before I took her out.
A few staff members stared at me as I made my way out of the building. I placed her in the backseat as a few people rushed to me. “Sir, can we help?” said one of the guards as he rushed to me. “Yes. Just clear the road as I drive. I don’t want much traffic to the hospital.” He nodded and rushed to do whatever. I climbed in driving insanely. I didn't notice it, but I was crying. I never cry. ”Faith, please you cannot die. You can’t leave me!” I yelled glancing at her. “You know that, right? You are mine, Faith.”
I pulled up in front of the hospital seeing Torres standing there with a stretcher and doctors. He rushed to me as I open the backseat door. “Mr. Malik, I brought them.” Two nurse hurried to he to take her and placing her on the stretcher. They connect her to an IV as doctors rushed to take her inside. I stood there for a long moment. I saw Torres following them as well.
I could feel something hot on my cold skin. I never felt that emotion for anything. What if she dies? I never thought she would do something like that. I’m such a fucked up person, to let her live alone. How much it takes to make this decision…She must have be going through hell. How long was she there in the water? She has to be alright. She can’t leave me…Please let her be okay, and after that I'll never let her leave my sight.
I don’t know what I felt about her, but I can’t let her die. I ran inside once I start thinking straight again. Torres was waiting for me at the reception. “Where to?” I said. ”This way, sir. They took her for a check-up. I don’t know how long it will take,” he said while we were walking. We both rushed past people and headed straight to the front room. It was locked. I saw her through small glass window. Seeing her laying there, an oxygen mask covering half of her face...I don’t know what else they are doing.
I always freaked at the name of a hospital, that anxiety coming back. I ruffled my hair feeling nervous and scared. No, what if she also leaves me here in this hospital. “Sir…are you okay?” Torres asked from behind. I nodded. “Sir, your clothes are wet. You could be ill. You better go home. I’ll make sure everything is okay here.” I knew he was being genuine, but I can’t leave her.
“I’m fine…” I said not leaving Faith’s side. Everybody in the room was rushing for things. I hope she’s okay…She can’t leave me. “Sir…your clothes” he almost mumbled knowing my temper. “Go get me something, but I’m not leaving from here. I’m not repeating myself again,” I growled.
He nodded, leaving me. I sat at the nearest bench after a while. Everybody in the corridors was rushing, but I just felt everything going slow. Time felt like it was getting slower by every second. I don’t care about anything or anyone at the moment; I only care about her. Faith, my Faith.
I rubbed my eyes feeling moisture…shit tears. I don’t cry…Why am I even...Why are they not coming outside from this fucking room. I glanced again, seeing her getting paler. I watched as the doors opened revealing one of the doctors in blue scrubs. He looked at me with no emotion on his face.
“What? Is she okay?” I spoke. “Mr. Malik? Is she with you?” he said in disbelief. I don’t know him, but it’s understandable that he must know me. “Yes. How is she?” I asked again. “She’s fine—” I sighed loudly.
“Though the water is all out of her system, we're not sure if...” he said. “What 'if'?” I was growing impatient here with this bloody doctor. “If she will make it or not,” he continues, “we have to wait for forty-eight hours to see.”
I nodded. “How…what are the chances…Can I go inside?” He thinks for a moment. “The chances are forty-five percent…but there is hope for her to come back.” He didn’t mention me going inside. That stupid doctor can’t stop me either way.
I nodded as I saw Torres coming back. He was on his phone with one hand and holding a bag on the other. “Sir…” Torres nodded. “Mr. Malik…it was a suicide attempt. We have to inform the police and how it related to you…” “Faith, her name is Faith, and Torres go with him and do whatever they want. I don’t want any media attention,” I inform them both. Torres nodded, but that doctor gives me glance. “How do you know her….Faith” he said again.
“She’s…she’s my girlfriend,” I said and somehow I felt better calling her that. “Torres...” I gave him my last glance, pushing past to going inside. I heard that doctor shouting, but I knew Torres would control him. I saw two nurses gathering a tray with medical tools. I sat beside Faith on a stool.
“Sir, you can’t stay here; you have to leave.” I gave her a glare. My patience growing thinner with every second and her voice is so pitchy that I want to shout at her. “I already talked to doctor, so you can leave,” I said. She stood dumbstruck for a few moments. “Leave, both of you,” I snap her. She took the tray and the other nurse followed her out.
I stared at Faith. She looked so fragile. Her breathing was shallow; it made my heart churn. My heart…Why was I feeling such deep pain inside? I slowly brought my hand to her face feeling her skin is warm now, not like before. “Faith, you have to wake up,” I said before kissing her forehead.
I grabbed the bag from Torres' to change into new clothes. I placed the bag aside and sat on small couch near her bed. She had to wake up. She can’t leave me.
I stared at her. All the thoughts, the memories, rushed back. The way she laughs and cries all the time. When she worries about me. The way her brows scrunch up. When she felt nervous and would blurt things out. The way that when she's scared when having those nightmares and sleeps with me…holding me. I miss her a lot. The house is not the same without her. She means so much to me.
I think…I love her…I love Faith.
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Author's note; Yay!!! you guys must be happy now...i guess. he realised it finally lol!
2 more chapters left in this book till end! and i'm not come up with the title of the sequel book >:( btw enjoy the chapter
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love ya..